Sue Ellen watched John Ross walk out, hoping she had concealed the uneasy sensation in her stomach. She took one last look at the skyline glowing before her & thought back on all JR's promises to make her the queen of the manor. He might not have been able to, but she'd certainly done alright for herself. Not just anyone gets to the top floor, & she had. With plenty of help, of course, but she'd done it.
Knowing she was alone, she fingered the bourbon bottle on the table. One last demon to fight, she thought as she grabbed it. She liked the way it felt between her fingers, the cool, heavy glass & the shift in the weight as it swung. It was wrong to like it, but right now, that was the furthest thing from her mind.
She ducked into her office & kicked the door closed behind her. If no one could see her pour a little of it, no one could care, now could they? Particularly Ann. The things Ann had said yesterday still stung a little, but there wasn't a way to obligate Ann to listen. After all, it wasn't like it wasn't true, at least once.
With the first sip, her mind wandered back to what she'd told the Governor, how she didn't need the liquor anymore. JR would've loved it, the way she'd made the sucker squirm. 'Course, he'd taught her how. Her eyes settled on the photo of her & JR on the desk. Happier days, when she still believed him, still let herself believe he didn't really mean to do all the things he did. He loved her, of course, but he wasn't capable of only loving her.
Yet, she'd have taken him back. The heart wants what it wants, she thought, running her finger across the rim of the glass.
She'd have gladly taken more. There was plenty in that bottle. The first one just controlled the voices in her head, the ones telling her she was a fool for feeling like this. The second one would've knocked them out cold, which would have been lovely, but she needed to be able to think.
She knew exactly what had made her so uneasy earlier. John Ross didn't know she could see it in his eyes. She'd always paid attention to people's eyes, fascinated with the way eyes told her more than words would ever say. It was what had first attracted her to JR - the way so much seemed to be going on behind them that no one else knew about. The twinkle in them when he saw her, the warmth they showed when he was with his father & later with John Ross. The way they flared with anger when someone had set him off.
There was one look she recognized better than most, because it was one she'd never managed to stir in all the time with JR. And what had made her feel so uncertain earlier, it was that look all over again. She never thought she'd see it in her son's own eyes, but there it was: he was going anywhere but home to Pamela. And there wasn't a solitary thing she could do about it.
It was stifling up there, John Ross thought. He was trying not to let on what he knew, never mind what he was about to do.
His mind was racing. He raked one hand through his hair & tried to focus. It had been a long time since Mama had been like this. But she was doing so well at this little game she played. Like he hadn't seen her eye the bourbon bottle on the way in, hadn't picked up the faint scent of it on her at the hospital after the rig explosion.
He knew it, he understood. Losing Daddy was taking a toll on them both, but he wondered if she wasn't paying it far more steeply. She'd catch herself, she always did. He knew that much, but he was secretly terrified she wouldn't this time. It had been his job to protect her when Daddy couldn't - or wouldn't, depending on the day of the week & whether or not they were on speaking terms - and it seemed like he might have to this time more than ever. At least he had a plan in mind. First, keep her from finding out what had really happened, & second, find something else for her to focus on. Not that either end of that promised to be easy, particularly the latter.
His Corvette held an ethereal glow in the moonlight, the pure white light catching the pitch-black curves. He'd known it was exactly the right color to buy, gorgeous by day & dangerous by night. It was a irresistible combination. And the girl waiting on him, she was the same way - gorgeous, dangerous, & irresistible.
He hadn't meant for it to go this way, but some things couldn't be helped, now could they? Emma had one thing he needed...okay, maybe two. But nothing more than two. He knew he was up to his ass in this one, but if it meant bringing Ryland down for good, well, it was worth it. Collecting on the second of the things he needed, that was a bonus in and of itself - as long as it was kept from prying eyes. He didn't actually want to be Mama's distraction.
