Chapter one: Saying goodbye

The hallway was quieter than ever and apart from a few lab techs nobody was working this morning. Grissom couldn't remember the last time the lab's atmosphere had ever been this gloomy. Maybe the night they thought they would loose Nick forever?

He sat alone in his blacked out office, staring into empty space while trying to think of the last time he had ever been truly happy. He couldn't remember. He couldn't remember anything anymore. The sadness he felt at this moment was overwhelming and almost suffocating. How could everything have gone so terrible wrong?

The door to his office opened with a careful movement and a familiar face stuck her head through the opening.

"Gil, are you in here?" A gentle smile formed on his lips. Even though she couldn't see him through the darkness, he knew exactly who had come looking for him.

"I'm here Sara". The door closed behind her as she entered his office with small careful footsteps. He leaned across the desk to switch on the lamp and give them both the light they needed to be able to see each other. Grissom knew immediately that she'd been crying. Her normally beautiful brown were now swollen and filled with tears waiting to make the journey down her cheeks. Grissom rose from the chair he'd been sitting in for the last couple hours and joined Sara on the other side of the cluttered desk. She welcomed his warm hug and buried her face in his soft chest. It had been almost five weeks since their last meeting. Five weeks of yearning, not been able to smell her hair or touch her smooth skin.

"I missed you" She whispered sadly into his neck.

"I missed you too".

They stayed like that for a while, just clinging on to each other while trying to forget why she was there in the first place.

"You need any help with the tie?" She asked noticing his black tie hanging on the armrest.

"Please" He told her and reluctantly let her go. His arms dropped to the sides as he waited for her to place the tie around his neck and make the perfect knot. A tear fell silently down her cheek and he instinctively wiped it away with his right thumb. Her eyes closed for a brief moment before finishing of the tie knot.

"We should go, the others are waiting for us in the car" She said staring into his chest.

"Let's say goodbye to our friend"

The funeral was beautiful. Warrick would really have loved it Sara thought as she looked around the crowded room clearly overdecorated with flowers. Grissom and Nick gave two wonderful speeches, talking about this perfect and talented man and colleague they both knew and how empty life would be from now on. Across the room she noticed Catherine staring out the big window. She was holding a glass of red wine in one hand and a few tissues in the other. Her cheeks had turned a bit blackish, a combination of falling tears and black mascara. She too had planed to give a speech at the funeral but in the last minute broke down in tears and sobs making her unable to talk.

An hour later people were still mingling, telling each other stories about the late Warrick. Half the people in here didn't even know him, but came just to pay their respect.

"How are you holding up?" a voice said from behind and a strong warm hand landed onto her shoulder.

"I'm doing my best not to…cry" Sara answered with a slightly unsteady tone. Grissom let go of her arm and sat down in the empty chair beside her.

"What about you Gris?" he looked up. "Are you…hanging in there?"

"I don't know" he answered truthfully. "I've always felt I had some sort of control over my life. Even when everything felt unbelievable difficult and unusually hard I always had a way to snap out of it". He took a quick look around the room. "The moment I heard that Jim had found Warrick shot to death in the car everything went dark, and I don't know what I have to do to move on from here. I don't know what to do to make everything better".

Sara kept his gaze for a moment before she leaned in and gave him a soft kiss on the lips.

"It takes time Gris. This isn't something we'll get over in a week or even in a month. This is something we'll have to learn how to live with". Sara gave him another kiss. "We'll work it out together, I promise".

"Guys, Cath isn't feeling too good so I'm going to drive her home", Nick said walking up to the couple. He was trying unsuccessfully to hold himself together, Catherine needed him right now and he had to stay strong for her.

"You should take a cab Nicky" Sara said. "You are in no condition to drive home".

"I'm fine, it's Catherine I'm worried about. She's about to have a breakdown if I don't take her out of here now".

"Just drive carefully Nick, we don't want to loose…" Gil trailed of realizing what he was about to say.

"Don't worry. I'll see you next week". Nick turned around as soon as he finished his sentence and started moving in the direction of the coatroom, never looking back to see his two friends following him with sad eyes until they no longer could see him behind the mass of people.