An/ Here is the Garcia installment of the 'One Word Prompt' Series.
I hope you enjoy it :)
This need not be said, but I will put it out there anyway, I don't own Criminal Minds.
"The noir hero is a night in blood caked armor. He's dirty, and he does his best to deny the fact that he's a hero the whole time."
-Frank Miller
You're not sure where everything is yet.
Because the FBI is still big and scary and reminds you of Azkaban. But you put on your dark jacket and head into work.
Because this was the deal you made to stay out of prison.
And you're not sure you would have done well in prison.
Though you would have looked smokin' in an orange jumpsuit.
You really like orange, and you think that maybe you need to buy a new set of orange stilettos.
That's the thought that's consuming your mind as you search desperately for the specific file in the rows on the shelf.
Because the whole reason your standing in front of the large shelves of files is that you needed to make a copy. And you keep forgetting a certain file.
But its taken you fifteen minutes, because you forgot what you were doing and then needed a coffee break.
So it's just because your mildly obsessed with finishing your copying task that you disregard the studly agent that's calling out to someone in your direction. Because you just found the right file, and now you'll get to make your copy.
Normally, you would have tried to evesdrop.
But right now, you're focused.
Because you're Penelope Garcia, and you need to make a copy.
But when you hear the attractive man say "Baby Girl," you can't help but spin around.
Because just maybe, he's talking to you.
And you're always looking for new friends.
Especially hot guy friends.
"Baby Girl?" You question, making it just enough for him to feel uncomfortable, but not enough to make him feel insecure. Because you would never want anyone to feel insecure. You like to make people feel happy, to lighten the mood.
And this office building in Quantico, it does feel like there are dementors around every corner.
And you're willing to do whatever you can to lighten the mood.
Because there's far too much darkness in this world anyway. And the world needs to be full of happy things, like fluffy pens or Pop Rocks.
"Forgive me, I just didn't know your real--" The handsome agent starts, obviously back peddling.
"I've been called worse." You dismiss, unwilling to let him wallow in being uncomfortable for very long. "What can I do for you?"
Because this Technical Analyst thing, you're good at that.
It's like looking for something that doesn't want to be found.
And you've always liked a good game of "Hide and Seek," you've spent your whole life on the side of those who "seek." Only this time, you get to do it legally.
And even if it takes some of the fun out of it, at least you're not going to prison.
And you wouldn't have done well in prison.
When you meet the new liaison, you hope that she won't come on too strong. Because this unit, some of your favorite people, they're still hurting.
And if this liaison is as pushy as her reputation says, you think that you might have to tell her what's what.
Because you're not going to let her walk all over everybody.
Especially after what happened.
Because even if you know its wrong, part of you is mad that Gideon trusted that bad guy. Because Gideon's supposed to see through people like Adrian Bale.
And now some of your friends are dead.
But it's when you stop by the new girl's office to give her the heads up that you realize that everything will be just fine.
Because she insists you call her JJ, and she offers you a firebomb candy.
You smile and your walls immediately melt. Sure, JJ might be new, but you had a feeling that the two of you would be friends.
And as you leave, you swear you hear JJ start to hum a David Bowie song.
And you know, that you and JJ are going to be best friends.
Gideon is messing up your office.
And you think you might murder him.
And this is one of those times where you remember that you like Hotch so much better than you like Gideon.
Because he atleast understands your organizational paradigm
Unlike someone else who is practically pouring soy sauce all over your desk.
You remember your breathing exercises.
And seek a way to make it through this without breaking your vow of peace.
And then he buys you flowers.
And then you like him a whole hell of a lot more.
But what is with the MP3 player sitting on your desk...
And for a moment, you wonder if Gideon has a crush on you
Nah!!! That's impossible...
Is it?
You're on a list.
That's all they'll tell you.
Which is kind of stupid, because you could easily hack whatever government database and simply remove yourself from that list.
Maybe if you did, you'd be able to get into the CIA.
Because with their database totally open, it would probably take you only three minutes to get all of the information about your favorite famous people.
You love your job.
And as you search for Prince William's phone number, you wonder if this is improper use of Government computers...
What the hell, you're only young once.
Except you should have been seeking a pen,
Because now all of this unadulterated power has been stripped from you
And you didn't even get to enjoy it.
One moment, you are having the most romantic moment of your alter-ego's life and the next--
You are screwed.
Deep down, you know its your fault,
So you vow to use whatever Garcia magic you have to seek this bastard out.
Stupid jackass is going to curse the day he ever messed with you.
And when it comes down to it,
You are pissed
And you are going to find him.
So there.
And then you talk to Reid.
And you start to realize that this has something to do with him
And his mom
And you are going to kick this guy's ass if he screws up your baby boy worse than he already has
And you meet his Mom,
And you can't help but muse of how well this woman did raising your little Spencer
And you are so insanely proud of Reid that you don't know if you can choke out a word.
But you do.
Because you are you...
And you never stop talking.
And you eventually help find the bad guy
And things go back to normal
But one thing is for certain...
You are never playing video games at work again...
Except maybe tetris.
Your Baby Boy needs a pick me up,
And you are going to give him one.
It is time to party Garcia style.
And while he says that he won't be the best company,
You are very persuasive.
And get him to agree to go,
And you really think he might just find a way to brush this Nathan Harris thing off.
Cue phone call.
And everything changes.
And you are now driving cross town trying to find some icky, germ infested motel on Reid's command.
And as you find the find the room, you see Nathan Harris, soaking in his own blood.
You've never done well with blood.
But you have to be there for Reid as he faces this.
You won't let him go through the darkness alone.
So you are going to suck it up and apply pressure,
And as if it were a miracle, the ambulance comes in time,
And Nathan lives another day,
But its an empty victory,
Because you did this for Reid and he looks miserable,
And you really can't blame him.
But you can't force feed people your sunshine, no matter how badly you want to.
Maybe Reid is going to have to seek a way out of this one on his own.
This feels so wrong.
It feels wrong to go into Morgan's personal life.
It feels wrong to try to find the things he didn't tell you.
Because Morgan tells you a lot,
And so if something is a secret,
You're sure that its a secret for a reason.
And your at first unsure of what in the hell you are supposed to seek
And at first, its easy sailing...
Until you find a damn sealed file.
And part of you doesn't want to admit what you found but just to wipe it off of the face of the planet,
But you stupidly admit it to JJ
Who makes you unseal it.
And then you find out that your Hunk of Love has a record.
And while you love a man who has been on the wrong side of the law,
A record isn't good in this scenario.
But you get through it.
And even when he manages to escape them coppers.
You are secretly really proud of him.
Because if Morgan ended up going to prison,
You would definitely help him find a way out.
Because that is what best friends do.
But Morgan fixes this one on his own.
And that's when you know that you couldn't have bestowed your undying affections on a more worthy recipeient.
You remeber the days when you used to wish that you could travel with the team,
But you don't want to be with them down here in Georgia
Not when it means that your Baby boy is in danger.
You are putting him in a giant plastic bubble if he survives this.
Or getting him a watch dog that barks every time he nears anything that could get him killed.
Scratch that, Reid and canines is probably about the worst idea you've ever had.
Though highly entertaining to contemplate.
Focus Garcia.
Anyway, you are doing your tech thing,
Trying to ignore the sickening videos of the murders themselves
And trying to fight making the connections between these people and Reid
Because Reid hasn't done anything wrong.
He's innocent.
And you don't want Tobias doing to him what he has already done to others.
And then JJ asks you the stupidest question you have ever heard
And that includes the time Brinkley Masterson asked what the difference between Linnux and Unnix was in the fifth grade.
She wants to see the damn videos.
What is wrong with her?
And even stupider--
You let her watch them.
And you continue to watch them as you find that Tobias Henkle wants to kill a member of your team
And Reid tells him to kill Hotch.
Uh Oh
Who is ready for an awkward moment?
And even stranger,
Hotch doesn't even care.
And that is when you declare this,
This is the day the team lost their everlasting minds
And it is up to you,
Penelope Garcia
To seek their minds out
And put them back into the cranial cavity where they belong.
After you find Reid of course.
One minute you are on a date, and the next--
You are waiting for Gideon in a dark alleyway so that you can escort him around because he's chasing after a deranged serial killer
So much for the FBI being a pretty normal gig.
So then you drive him to an art museum...
Weird...
But you deal with it,
Because you are a member of the team and the team needs you to remain calm.
And Gideon is seeking out Frank
And as he does that, you seek with him
Because two heads are better than one.
Unless your comparing it to Reid,
But in normal circumstances...
Two heads are better than one.
The phone rings, and you can't help but smile.
Your favorite people need your help.
In more ways than one.
With Gideon MIA, everyone in that precinct probably needs a good pick me up.
So your response is completely natural.
Because you're just looking for a laugh.
You seek out laughter in others.
"Talk dirty to me." You say, and for a moment, you wonder if you've caught them so completely off guard that they have no response.
Garcia: 1, Rest of Team: 0
"This is Section Chief Erin Strauss."
Suddenly you can barely remember your own name. CRAP!
Garcia: - 1 billion, Rest of Team: 0
You blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind. "Ma'am, I think it goes without saying that I was expecting it to be someone else."
You are so dead.
And really, you're probably going to sit with your pal JJ over a large pizza and laugh about this in a few weeks.
Once you're sure you're not going to get fired.
You can picture how panicked Morgan looks. How amused JJ looks. And how absolutely terrified Reid looks.
As you filter through the Section Chief's request, you can't help but try to come up with any other witty response that will keep you out of trouble.
And you vow that while you are going to keep your team happy and laughing, you aren't going to get fired.
Because you're not sure even you can find a reason to like Dragon Lady Erin Strauss.
It's official. You hate Derek Morgan.
He's a big mean ball of jerkiness.
And even though your Creep Radar is blipping slightly, it's that hatred of Derek Morgan that makes you call James Colby Baylor.
Because you have to stick it to the man,
Even if it means seeking out trouble.
And when you meet him again, who cares if he is a pretentious bum?
He is a way to get back at Morgan.
You've been shot.
And as you sit down from the shock, from trying to keep your own blood inside of you where it belongs, you can't help but curse Derek Morgan.
Because he was right.
And you just can't help but feel so stupid.
Because you thought he liked you, and he smelled nice.
But he pulled out a gun and shot you.
And you can't help but search for the bright light at the end of the tunnel as the darkness envelopes you.
But your search is in vain.
It doesn't feel like long before you wake up.
And the foggy numbness reminds you that you've been shot.
You watch them all come in.
And you can't help but feel like this is so wrong.
Because JJ looks like she's going to cry.
Morgan looks like he's going to punch someone.
Reid looks like he's going to wet his pants.
Emily looks like she wants to get in a heated debate about gun rights at the moment.
Rossi looks relatively concerned, maybe he doesn't find you nearly as irritating as you thought he did.
And Hotch looks completely emotionless, what else is new?
And you soon realize what they all really need right now is you...The comic relief.
So, you seek that inner sunshine that makes you tick, and give them some of the show.
Sometimes, you think you would want to marry your dark hunk of chocolate.
And this is one of those times.
You're ninety percent sure no man has ever been there for you like Derek has these last couple of days,
And you could have an excellent "Made of Honor" moment,
except for the fact that it would utterly destroy your friendship,
And this friendship means more to you than any relationship ever could.
And while you love Morgan,
You really aren't in love with him.
So, you decide that though this would be a perfect moment to confess your feelings to him,
You won't,
Because you don't have any that need confessing.
Though, his butt is still rather fun to look at.
You can always enjoy the feast without partaking.
Its official, while Kevin Lynch is a delicious creature you can't wait to get your waiting hands on...
He's a slob.
An icky slob who has completely messed up your office.
It smells like man...
While you like man, its gross to have your office smell like it
and he left his garbage here, along with his jacket...
No...
He didn't.
He wouldn't.
Kevin Lynch wouldn't do this to you
He wouldn't re-adjust your chair
No one would be that cruel.
But your butt knows its safe harbor and this sure as hell is not it
As you try to fix it, Morgan keeps hampering your efforts
Does he not understand what this means?
You can't work properly while your chair is so blatantly out of its comfortable status quot
And as Morgan comes back and fixes it, you think you might love him.
No, you know you love him
He's your hero now
Or always has been.
But now you sniff the man smell...
And wonder whether you can force men to shower before entering your office...
Or find a way to have them shower in your office.
You aren't picky.
Any way, the point is,
You know that you don't have to seek for someone to trust--
Because he's right here fixing your chair.
Hmmm...
Who knew a shower could be so dirty?
Not you, but you do now.
Its very 'an Affair to Remember' really.
One night of passion followed by a hot, hot, VERY hot shower
And as you hear a knock on your door, you are so unbelievably annoyed.
Do they not understand that you have backs to loofa?
And as you open the door, you nearly have a heart attack.
David Rossi is at your apartment in the late hours of the night...
And you aren't wearing any underwear.
This is bad,
And as he begins to ramble about original case files and such, you try to be patient
But how in the world were you supposed to pick up for him evidence THAT YOU HAD NO IDEA ABOUT
Seriously, sometimes profilers make you want to join that Nudist Cowboy Colony that your cousin just raves about,
And when you are about to fight back, your arsenal melts away as Kevin steps out of the bathroom.
And while you may not be wearing underwear, he isn't wearing anything.
Oh boy.
Hmm...Strawberries.
You like Strawberries, especially with whipped cream.
And the idea of Kevin Lynch, whipped cream and strawberries is almost too much for your little heart to take.
Being an adult is so much fun sometimes.
Until Kevin continually makes you late for work,
Stupid.
Maybe its time to seek a better, louder, more resilient to throwing alarm clock.
While you're at it, you should probably pick up some more strawberries.
You like strawberries.
You see JJ wince, and your baby monitoring gears go into overdrive.
Because JJ's not normally one for wincing.
And wincing might mean baby.
And baby would mean--
CONTRACTION! SHE'S HAVING CONTRACTIONS!
The alarms go off in your head the same way you envision the NSA offices if you hacked their system.
But you have to remain calm.
Hell, how are you supposed to remain calm?
Your best friend is having a baby!
"I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but JJ is having her baby." You announce,
And watch Hotch and Prentiss go at it, ready to rescue the young expecting mother from having a live birth in the middle of the Bull Pen
And you wait for nearly fifteen hours, waiting for your best friend to give you that phone call where she announces the birth.
And you've never been a patient person.
So this is really killing you.
Really.
But you are determined to wait.
If JJ can push a nine pound baby out of a hole the size of a lemon without the aid of medication.
You can wait.
And while it pains you, you are sure that you are in much better shape than JJ.
So you focus on helping Reid,
Because JJ isn't your only kitten that needs help.
And so, you help Reid,
All the while still waiting for the phone call.
And after everything is wrapped up...
You get it.
And you meet Henry James LaMontagne for the first time,
And you love him more than anything you have ever seen before,
And he means more to you than your Electric Blue Betsy Johnson bag,
A feat you never thought possible,
And then Jayje asks you, the near felon, to be his godmother.
And you ask if you can be his fairy godmother instead,
Because who doesn't want wings?
But you accept anyway,
and you hold the little guy tight,
and whisper how you are going to corrupt him with all the rock and roll his mom is never going to let him listen to.
And you aren't sure if you could ever seek for more,
Because you have already found the best thing you could ever look for.
Your BFF is in the office
Not JJ, though you still like her,
No, Henry.
Henry is your new best friend.
Because the two of you go way back.
And you get to hold him,
And you get to sniff the little 'new born baby smell' right out of him,
And you just love him to pieces.
And then the team comes in,
And then Morgan, the freaking baby hog, takes him.
And says vicious lies about Henry liking him,
To which you and Emily assure him that its just gas
Because Henry is yours.
And you don't share very well, and then you see something,
Something that if you would have blinked you would have missed.
You see Hotch smile.
And you are sure that its the first time you have ever seen that.
Maybe that is something you could seek for--
A way to help Hotch be happy again.
So JJ is back to work for good this time,
And you are so relieved,
Because while Jordan Todd is a nice person,
She isn't JJ,
And you want to work with JJ.
And so as Prentiss puts up a fit about the horoscopes,
You see her walk in,
And you basically squeal,
Except JJ then informs you that you have a case.
One day back and she is already making you work,
And that's when you remember why JJ and Hotch get along,
Maybe you were a little too eager in seeking JJ's hasty return to work.
Kevin might leave,
And that idea is killing you.
While you like the feign that you could move on at any moment.
You love him.
Not just love him in the "I don't want him to go" way
But in the "I don't want to be me anymore if he goes"
And no man has ever done that to you.
And so you do what any madly in love hacker does,
You give the NSA server a virus
And you suddenly feel better.
Isn't seeking ways to destroy relationship obstacles fun?
This job, you feel like its killing you slowly,
Because you can no longer seek the good.
You never asked to see inside of an unsub's head,
You never wanted that.
And now all the sudden, you understand why all your angelfishes are the way they are,
Because these stupid unsubs are ruining them
And making all their feel goods turn into mush
And while you love the team you work with, you never wanted that.
You never wanted to be warped and jaded.
Which is why when Hotch comes into your office,
You lay it all on the table.
And while you acknowledge that you sound like the least articulate person in the entire FBI
It feels good saying it.
And then you hear Hotch,
And how the team needs you,
And how you did a good job
And how he still wants you to be able to seek the good.
And you remember just how much you love the boss man.
Not enough that you would ever consider mimicking his emotional dishonesty as a way of life
But enough that you hope that there is hope for him
That someone could someday help him find a way to see the good again.
"Since I met JJ years ago, my mission has always been to find a her a good man." You begin your well prepared maid of honor speech after Morgan sits down. "It was that continual seeking that has made some of the best times me and Jayje ever had."
You smile at her supportively, watching as Hotch rubs her arm slightly, causing you to giggle a little.
"But this isn't really a shock, because seeking is what I do best." You add with a broad smile. "And I have found that the best things you could ever seek for are right in front of you. They really are right under your nose, and I think JJ and Hotch have found that out for themselves."
You can't help but smile at Morgan, Reid, and Rossi who are in your line of sight. You know that they are probably down there, making fun of the wedding some how, but you don't care, because they are your family. You've been seeking one your entire life and they had always been right there. And as you continue on with your speech, your mind is in an entirely different place, thinking of all the times you have been seeking. And better yet, all the things you have found.
Because life is one big game of 'Hide and Go Seek", and you realize that you were never meant to be doing the hiding.
You'd rather seek.
"To the bride and groom." You finish, chuckling lightly to yourself.
Aren't you glad you didn't go to prison?
You wouldn't have done well in prison.
"Love all. Trust a few. Do wrong to none."
-William Shakespeare
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