Those days
For me, he was the sun.
He was shining above all others, filled with a fire that arouse courage and power in the hearts of the men who followed him to battles they never dreamt they could fight. He seemed to be risen from the old myths, a direct heir to heros like Achilles and Hercules, bringing back the old beliefs in honour, glory and immortality.
For me, he also was the moon, having a dark side he never showed anyone but me. At night, when all others would sleep, he shared with me his fears and doubts. I knew a side of him he hid so well during the days, even from his closest friends and advisers. To no one but me his true feelings were revealed.
I was no man of great words and, facing the things he told me, they would have stuck in my throat anyway. All I could do was to listen and to be there. And I was willing to do so whenever he needed me.
We spent so many hours together…so many nights. I listened to everything that was moving his great heart.
I heard him speak of his mother and father, and that he never knew whom of them he should trust and follow. I got caught in enthusiasm when he planned his next campaign, just to watch him reject everything in the next moment, doubting if anything he did was right. I listened as he wondered if he would ever become like the heros in his beloved myths, not knowing he had already entered the eternity of stories and myths. I saw him cry for every friend he lost in the battles or on the long, exhausting journey towards Babylon.
We sat alone and talked, unheard by all the men who never had believed he felt uncertain of so many things. I longed to tell him that he always could be certain of having me; that I never would leave him unless death parted us. I wanted to tell him so much I felt, but for a long time I didn't and just let him speak and share his sorrows.
I daylight, he belonged to Greece and Macedonia, to the plans of his father and to every man who followed him to whereever his way would lead.
At night, he belonged to me.
It was the time when we travelled through Persia, among us the threat of a battle that would decide who should become king of Asia and could mean the death of us all. We made our way through deserts and dust, a journey which was demanding all our strength. There was not a week without fighting, without pain and loss. We were homeless, wanderers, soldiers on a quest where every day could be our last.
I think those days were the best of my life.
