I do not own Star Trek; I'm just an admirer of the franchise. Okay about this fan fictional story, as the new film is a reboot, I decided that I would do reboot of a character and possible relationship/storyline that never got to be explored, in my mind that should have their chance, but...I'm starting to doubt that now. Bloody writers! Grrp. I have jinxed a few things, ponder ponder… well some…but I'm just trying to be creative, trying to improve my writing skills & to get this pairing out of my system, hopefully fans will like it. This one shot was inspired by a lot of songs, I was going to list all of them, but there are so many I just lost it with the listing. XD. However, the song lyrics I have added into this story clearly outlines the pairing quite vividly but mostly Christine's feeling towards Mr Spock. I adore the character and the possibility of the pairing just having a scene together. Sorry I'm a Spockel fan (Spock/Chapel), Spockura just didn't mesh for me – so don't bash me for it. Lol. ^.^ It's a pity that there wasn't more of Spock/Chapel. Just think the writers of the new film had actually wrote a Spock/Chapel storyline in the script but they swapped it for Spock/Uhura. Shame when such a good character and potentially interesting scenes go down the drain. I'd love to get my hands on the first draft of the script, just to see the 'what-could-have-been.' Anyway, please review and I may write more! =P
Any Other Name…
Give me release,
witness
me,
I am outside,
give me peace.
Heaven holds a sense of
wonder,
and I wanted to believe,
that I'd get caught up,
when
the rage in me subsides.
In this white wave,
I am
sinking,
in this silence,
in this white wave,
in this
silence,
I believe.
Passion chokes the
flower,
'til she cries no more,
possessing all the
beauty,
hungry still for more…
-Delerium & Sarah McLachlan's Silence.
The Starship shuddered as the engines spluttered to a reluctant stop, the corridors swarmed with meandering crewmates yet there was one cadet that seemed to walk calmly through the hustle. It was the young Christine Chapel, only just turned nineteen, the second youngest on the Starship – two years above the cute Ensign Pavel Chekov. The young nurse walked with a pristine yet soft presence, she kept her posture up and dignified (which she had learned this from the recurring pounding teachings at nursing school). Her outfit was donned blue along with the shiny black boots and her long thick blonde hair tied up into a pony tail that draped elegantly down her back. Her eyes were a dark piercing blue; sometimes coming in contact with certain lights they would be lividly electric. Almost enchanting…
Even though Christine was only nineteen, Dr McCoy had bequeathed her the post of Head Nurse. Something which she had not expected. She believed she would be tagging along just as an apprentice, having a wider experience, but that wasn't the case for this particular nurse. The young nurse kept her eyes close to the ground, occasionally someone would bump into her and she would not get an apology. It had been taught to Christine that if you did that – you had to apologise because it was a sign of courtesy.
Christine Chapel was a person that melted into the background otherwise known as 'a part of the furniture.' Christine knew a lot of people found her weak, dour, a recluse, boring, plain, ugly, indecisive...
Why on earth were people so one dimensional?
Why didn't they want to get to know her?
'Don't answer that Chrissie,' her thoughts said as she pondered silently. Nobody knew the real Christine, not even her nurses she worked with or Bones himself.
Nobody seemed to be bothered about her tiny existence on the ship…
The Starship thundered with vibrations like a symphony travelling across the deck and hull of the ship. Christine tripped, smacking into the wall across from her. She noticed a lot of the commotion whizzed past her, dispersing along the other end of the corridor. Getting her feet back she made her way to the conjunction when she saw two figures clattering up the corridor towards her. Quickly, she hid behind one of the wall crevices and noticed the faces, the beautiful Lieutenant Uhura and the First Officer Mr Spock. Christine diligently noted that his face was mocked with dirt and his piercing brown eyes shimmered with tragedy. The young nurse took a deep breath and watched Uhura trying to calm the fascinating creature down…
"I'm sorry," Uhura whispered. "I'm so sorry." The lieutenant pressed him lightly against the wall, her hands caressed his face and she hugged him so tightly. Christine breathed out in shock as she noted Spock's arms wounding around her slim waist – hugging her back like he was a drowning man being thrown a life jacket. From what Christine had seen and learnt by surveying this strange yet beautiful creature, it would be illogical to act in that certain way towards a human woman. She had to remind herself that Mr Spock was not all Vulcan, he was half human – open like a target to emotions and internal pain.
The creature was a deep mystery, the young nurse had only spoke to him a few times and passed him in the corridor. Though of course to Christine's knowledge, he would never look at her.
Never.
"What do you need?" Uhura asked, her harmonious voice chimed a second time.
Christine stared back in anticipation…
Mr Spock's lips shook, he was fighting to have control over himself, but the more he held back, the weaker he would get. "I need... foreveryone to continue performing admirably."
Uhura nodded, her fingers still caressed his face. Ever so slowly, she straightened on her back heels and her lips lightly touched Mr Spock's. Something inside Christine shattered right at that moment…
Christine faced away from them, straightening her back and keep her respiratory state at a steady pace. 'This is stupid,' she thought. 'This is ridiculous, come on Chrissie. Stop. It.' Her body ignored her hardened request, her hands continued and she could feel the wave of tears wanting to erupt. Christine lay her back against the wall, crunching her eyes up, but still locked onto Uhura and Mr Spock. The sound of their clothing sliding against one another was worsening and Christine heard the exasperated breath of Uhura deploying another kiss onto Spock's lips. Fighting to stop the emotion taking her, Christine opened her eyes and turned slowly on her shoulder. Uhura's fingers slid away from Spock's face, he breathed out, unravelling his hands from her waist and swayed past her. Christine noted the disappointment and sadness in Uhura's eyes as Spock walked away from her…
Until the corridor was erased of Uhura and Spock's presence, Christine unwound herself from the crevice. It was like someone had punched her, injured her and had not taken any notice. It was as if cold water had been poured over her head and she was left by herself…
She watched the door Mr Spock had left through; it was what she focused on. She didn't know how long she could have stood there for, but she knew then – the way she had reacted was more than what it had seemed…
Her eyes closed on impact and she covered her mouth, wanting to shout out, gasp, retch even scream. Christine's body was reacting in such an alien way, it frightened her. Her arms shook with energy until she realised it was anger, pure simmering liquid rage pulsing through her veins, almost destined to implode...
The young nurse ran across the empty corridors, heading for the opposite turbolift. She noticed the doors swish open, Christine dived across and crashed against the opposing wall in which the lift ticked and clattered to life. She could sense the explosion willing to let rip, the rage she felt, replaying the sight she saw in her head. 'Shut it out,' she thought. 'Don't let it get a hold of you.' Her porcelain fingers began to tremble uncontrollably and her eyes shook… 'There's no point, it's already caught me…' Christine glared at herself in the mirror opposite, she breathed out, counting…
'Three…'
'Two…'
…One.'
Suddenly, something glittered on the precise moment she counted the last digit; it floated across her person and pushed the stop button to the turbo lift. She could feel the air cool drastically behind her back and that deep rumble of a laugh flitter through her thoughts. A ghost from her past, a ghost that wasn't ready to disappear…
"You were always a softy when it came to romance," his cold voice stroked the hairs at the back of her neck.
Christine stared across at the wall, unmoved. "Why are you here?"
"I'm here for you Chrissie, you need me," he uttered back.
"No," Christine whispered, turning to face the ghost. "No you're not Roger."
The ghost leaned against the glass wall of the turbo lift, focusing all of his attention on his young fiancé. His skin was placid, cold and gloomy – almost terrifying. His brown eyes still blazed like it did when he was alive. However, not matter how scary he appealed to be, the ghost was still upholding that infectious smile the nurse adored
"You're not here," she whispered, her voice was barely audible. "You're just a figment of my imagination."
"Then why are you still talkin' to me?"
She didn't say anything. Trying to calculate this impossible situation was so overpowering, her body began to take on the heavy anxiety. "I don't know who I am anymore. These feelings, I don't know what to do with them… Every time I try to piece it all together, I loose control… and now that you're here, I'm think I'm loosing myself." Her pale fingers pulled the band holding her long blonde hair snapped, in which it cascaded across her shoulders and down her back. Christine pressed her fingers to her forehead; a groggy sensation clouded her mind. "That's it," she uttered. "I'm going crazy, aren't I?"
"You're not crazy Chrissie."
"It must be… just stop talkin' to me. This…this just doesn't make any God damn sense."
She could feel the cold sensation growing, as if he was advancing slowly. "You've got no idea how hard it is for me to see you like this."
"No you don't Roger," she gasped, her blue eyes uncharacteristically darkened. "I told you not to go on that mission. I told you and I trusted you. You son of a bitch," Christine smashed her foot against the wall and her fists tightened, she ignored the physical pain. The ghost mean whilst stared at the ground, though he listened to his fiancé passionately shout the truth. "I needed you and you left me," she exasperated, breathing heavy between the words that had been locked deep in her heart. Thoughts she could not reveal to anyone else. "You abandoned me and I told you not to leave. And look what happened, you died… and there's nothing I could have done to save you." Her chest rose and fell, her thoughts and the pain was rupturing. "The more I try to move on, the more guilty I get."
"Guilt? I don't understand what you mean," he uttered.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered, her eyes welled up as she stared into the shadowed face of Roger Korby. "I don't think I love you anymore...and it's killing me."
Her heart wrenched, like someone diving a pin into her chest. Korby's brown eyes glazed, his jaw tensed and he nodded painfully. "I know," he whispered. "But you've gotta stop this Chrissie. You've gotta stop torturing yourself over this…over him."
"But…" she uttered, his ghostly light fingers caressed against her cheek. Her eyes now glittered with emotion, she wanted to cry, but she had to fight it. "What kind of person would stop loving someone for another that doesn't even notify their presence?"
"I don't know…it's a riddle about you Chrissie that will take a while to deceiver."
"Oh God," she uttered, closing her eyes, trying to shut out the answers that had just come to her. "I'm such a bad person."
"No," Korby said sternly. He grasped Christine by the shoulders and shook her. "Now you listen t'me. You are not a bad person. You've gotta learn to forgive yourself."
Christine nodded and suddenly a pleasant warmth eluded her thoughts. It spread vastly across her body, seizing the shaking her body was doing. It had been done, the wrenching, that bitter resentment had gone. The nurse opened her eyes, staring at Roger Korby. "I'm still sorry…"
Korby nodded, the pain and sadness in his eyes shinned. "I can go now."
"Go…" she whispered. "Please just leave."
The ghost breathed out, his cooled skin brushed a speck of blonde hair away from her complexion. "I love you Christine Chapel…" he whispered, his voice would forever haunt her.
"Go."
Silence filled the turbo lift, it circled around Christine. The humidity rose back to normal and that cold creepy sensation faded. The turbo lift ticked, coughing back to life and resumed its original command. She slowly opened her eyes, breathing out as she notified that she was now alone….
"Nurse Chapel!" her communicator beeped and buzzed, she noted the hysteric voice: Dr McCoy.
Christine yanked the small technical piece from her waist belt. "Y-yes Doctor?"
"There's been a brief accident on the bridge, I need ya up here to help out for any injuries."
She nodded."I'll be right up Sir."
"Well hurry up woman!"
"Over and out," she said, clicking the communicator off in which the turbolift doors swished open and she headed as fast as she could to the bridge…
"Thanks Chris," Sulu said, smiling.
"No problem," she replied as she finished applying the final procedures to the bandage on his wrist.
"Did you hear about Mr Spock?" he asked.
Her heart jumped, but she remained calm. "No. What happened?"
"Vulcan's gone zilch…not there. Mr S teleported there to find his Mom and Dad, but he only came back with one person."
"That's horrible." It hit her, which was why he was upset; the beautiful creature had lost his Mother. Involuntarily, her heart and thoughts went out to him. But then the image of Uhura's lips across his skin flashed in her mind, breaking her out of the recurring habit.
"Uh-huh."
"What's he going to do about it?"
"Mr S and Captain Kirk are gonna teleport to Nero's ship, to try and get Pike back."
Christine noticed McCoy walk over, with a bunch of medical kits in his hand. She smiled, but as usual the grumpy doctor was not interested.
"Chapel I need you to give these to Mr Spock."
"Y-yes Sir," she said, delicately taking the kit and disappearing from the bridge.
The beam bay was full; there was a cue for cadets to give certain technical items to Captain Kirk and Mr Spock. Christine diligently tapped her fingers against the packaging and revered on her heels. She did not want to make eye contact with Mr Spock; she had a hundred thoughts clashing through her mind. But she did not want her mind to focus on the sight she saw in the empty corridor. She could not spare the time, or the sanity for the painful memories.
As soon as the cue had quietened down, Christine nervously passed the essentials to Kirk and Mr Spock. "Good luck on your mission Mr Spock," she said.
Spock nodded but he did not look at her. "Thank you Nurse Chapel."
"My name is Christine."
"Yes I know Christine… that is all." There was no emotion in his voice whatsoever.
'Keep it together,' she told herself, though she could sense she wanted to tell him exactly what she thought of him. Just explode and shout till her lungs collapsed.The young nurse nodded and smiled over at Kirk, who nodded in her presence. With one turn of her heel, Christine moved away as Uhura swayed past her locked in deep thought. Christine was about to leave when she turned to notice the problem a second time, Mr Spock's arms laced around Uhura's waist, kissing and murmuring illegible things. The young nurse's jaw tensed and the sprouting of that strange adrenaline could have been rekindled right then and there. The young nurse forced herself out of the room, keeping her glared eyes to the ground whilst she bumped into passing cadets on the way out, Christine did not apologise...
She breathed out hoarsely. Her fingers crunched down and she could feel the acidic venom in her voice wanting to be set free. "Enough Christine," she whispered to herself. "Enough now..."
