This time, this place, misused, mistakes
Too long, too late, who was I to make you wait
"My God I am such an idiot!" Luke yelled at himself. He found it helpful to verbally abuse himself whenever he made a big mistake. Now was one of those times.
He thought about her. Damn she was beautiful. Her hair, her eyes. God her eyes. He should've noticed her before now. He should've recognized that there was something there. But he didn't. Sure he'd loved her for years, but it had never once crossed his mind that the feeling maybe could even possibly be mutual.
Just one chance, just one breath
Just in case there's just one left.
Lorelai sat quietly in her room. God she had screwed up. She should've known about Luke. Everybody else in the town seemed to. She thought of the way she acted around him. Happy, bubbly, always smiling. "Yeah," she thought "I really did love him."
A sigh escaped her lips and Lorelai wondered what was going on between them. Was he mad at her, did he mean what he had said? Were they ever going to be more than 'just friends'? She glanced at the clock and noticed it was getting very late, but she couldn't stop thinking about him, and the day she had screwed everything up.
"What is wrong with you?" Luke's gray eyes were focused on Lorelai, searching for answers.
"Oh, me, me, me? I dunno what's wrong with me, why don't you tell me?" Lorelai was hysterical, she didn't want a fight.
"You sleep with every guy you meet and always end up blowing them completely off. Is that just who you are? Please tell me Lorelai, because I met you a damn long time ago and I'd hate to just figure out I didn't really know you."
Cuz you know, you know, you know.
I love you I have loved you all along
And I miss you been far away for far too long
"Luke this is my business. My personal business. Why on Earth would you care what goes on in my love life?"
"Because…" Luke took a deep breath; he sucked at all the emotional crap. "I've always wanted to be a part of it."
Lorelai opened her eyes very wide. She was completely taken back; she had no idea what to say. "Oh… well, um…"
"It's really fine." Luke said suddenly, which earned him a questioning look from Lorelai. "That you don't like me like that or whatever. Really, it's nothing."
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'd never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore.
"Luke…" Lorelai started, searching for the right thing to say.
"No, no, I get it, please just stop. I understand."
"Luke!" she said, more firmly this time, trying to get his attention.
"Lorelai, please. I get it you don't have to say anything. I'll manage without you, I promise. I'll survive."
"Luke! Wait, please. You might be fine with us being 'just friends' but I sure as hell am not." Luke saw that hard, determined look in her eyes. The last time he had seen that look was when she was waltzed into the diner for the first time, desperate for coffee.
On my knees I'll ask, last change for one last dance
Cuz with you I'll withstand all of hell to hold your hand.
As he looked at her, Lorelai saw the same sparkly in his eyes that he'd seen in hers. And suddenly he leaned in and his lips met hers. They pulled apart and Lorelai opened her eyes for a moment. A few seconds passed and then the space between them was swallowed up again. There was nothing but the damn counter between them.
They finally pulled apart one more time and then an "Oh my God" escaped Lorelai's lips, "Oh my God, I really have to go…" she unconsciously touched her lips "Um…bye."
Luke was silent. He didn't expect that reaction. He wasn't sure exactly what reaction he had expected, but it was not that one.
I'd give it all I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
He watched her run out the diner, nearly missing the door. The whole time he said nothing. He couldn't even call her back, he did nothing to try and stop her. He just stood there and let her go.
As soon as she had gone Luke spun around and angrily kicked the counter. Immediately after doing so a painful feeling was shot through his foot and leg. He limped over a table and collapsed into a chair.
"Damn counter, damn Lorelai, damn kiss.
Luke sighed and looked out the window. It had just started snowing. Lorelai loved snow; she had this weird thing where she could smell it. Without thinking, Luke smiled and just watched the snow fall.
Cuz you know, you know, you know.
I love you, I have loved you all along
I miss you, been far away for far too long
Lorelai was walking at a brisk pace, she had practically run out of the diner. She went on in this fashion for quite some time, but suddenly she stopped in her tracks. Snow. She could smell it coming. Sure enough, a snowflake fell and hit her face within an instant.
She turned around slowly, taking the time to take in the beautiful, magical town Stars Hollow had turned into. She carefully sat down, right in the middle of the street, just watching the town. It was late, it was dark, and it was wonderful.
Lorelai thought of Luke. Snow always put him in a better mood. She thought back to that amazing sleigh ride they had shared with him when a whole group had been snowed in, so nearly all of Starts Hollow has stayed at the Independence Inn.
I keep dreaming you'll be with me, and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore.
As she sat there in the street Lorelai secretly wished Luke was right there next to her. She kept on glancing at the Diner, hoping he would come out and join her.
Many times she thought she heard something and she would glance up quickly, but each time she saw nothing and eventually she just gave up. Soon, though, she heard someone approaching her. She looked over and saw Luke sit down beside her. Just the thought of being next to him brought a smile to her face.
So far away, so far away, far away for far too long
So far away, so far away, far away for far too long.
But you know, you know, you know.
I wanted I wanted you to stay
I needed I need to hear you say…
"Whatcha doing?" Luke asked her quietly.
Lorelai replied very bluntly, "Thinking."
"About what?"
"Stuff," Lorelai said with a smile on her face.
"What type of stuff?" Luke was getting impatient.
"Stuffish stuff," she looked at Luke then spoke again. "I was just remembering the sleigh ride a few years ago."
Luke looked up and smiled. "Oh yea, cuz that whole group got snowed in or whatever."
"Yep," there was a silence between them, but it surprisingly wasn't an awkward one. And then suddenly, "Hey Luke…"
"Yeah?"
"That was a nice sleigh ride."
I love you, I have loved you all along
I forgive you, for being far away for far too long
So keep breathing cuz I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it, hold onto me never let me go
They sat together quietly. Lorelai was thinking about Luke the whole time. She wished everything would be OK with them. She thought about his touch, his kiss. But all this thinking was bringing back horrible memories. "I can't do this Luke!" Lorelai sighed.
"Do what?"
"You, me! This!" she didn't know how to say it any more clearly.
"Oh, that." Everything stopped in Luke's world. He didn't understand what her problem was. "Listen Lorelai…"
"I'm sorry. Really damn sorry." She stood up slowly and walked away, leaving Luke alone for the second time that night.
"Lorelai…." Luke said quietly with a sigh, and began walking back to the Diner.
As Lorelai sat in her bed and remembered the whole experience she realized she hadn't talked to Luke at all since the previous night, when the whole thing had happened. She glanced at the clock and noticed it was 3:00 AM, but she knew Luke well enough to know he'd be wide awake too.
She quickly dialed his number and heard an answer after the first ring. Her heart was pounding in her head.
"Lorelai…?"
Keep breathing cuz I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it, hold onto me never let me go
Keep breathing Hold onto me never let me go,
Keep breathing hold onto me never let me go.
"Luke I need you to come over here now." Luke could hear her shaking voice over the phone, could almost feel the pain she was going through right that instant.
"Are you hurt?"
"No, I'm fine, please just come. Bye" she hung up, and ran outside to the porch. After about 5 minutes Luke's car pulled in and he hopped out.
"What'd you need me for, it's like 3:15"
"Hey, um, I'm really really sorry and I know this is kinda weird and everything but I needed to tell you and …" she trailed off.
"Are you OK?" Luke whispered softly, suddenly beside her.
Without even thinking she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. She quickly stepped back and looked at Luke. "I love you." She whispered back.
"I love you, too." He said. A real smile had finally made its way to his lips. He wrapped his arms around Lorelai and she could hear her heard thumping in her head.
"Never let me go." She said
Luke looked her in the eyes for a moment and then opened his mouth.
"I wouldn't dream of it."
