A/N - Okay hopefully I won't have to put to many of these up unless I need to do some explaining in which case you'll find them at the bottom. Being the first chapter thought I wanted to write just a little intro. This story is pretty much planned up until what is on TV right now. Hopefully by the time I have written up all the chapters until Sunday's epsiode, I'll have plenty more to write about. Anyway enough for me.
Jack looked out over the ocean, the thick waves crashing against the beach. Little over two hours had passed since Boone's death. It wrenched his heart apart that he couldn't save him. He just needed to be on his own for a bit and somehow come to terms with the fact that he couldn't save yet another life. That part never got any easier no matter how many times he had faced it in the past.
" I just checked on Claire." said Kate sitting down next to him. She crossed her legs and joined him in his steely gaze over the ocean. " She's okay, and the baby's fine."
" I'm sorry I had to leave you to deal with it Kate but I couldn't leave Boone. Even though I couldn't save him."
" Hey, don't beat yourself up Jack. You did your best, I'm sure of it."
Jack didn't reply. His heart just couldn't find it to defend himself. Kate noted the silence and opted to not push. She didn't know Jack quite as well as she's like but she knew him enough to know when to back off. Instead she opted to try a subject which she'd been sitting on for two days.
" Actually Jack, there was something else I wanted to talk to you about." she said reaching around to her bag and shuffling through to find the item. " Claire and I were sorting through some of cases which Locke brought back with him the other week and I found something."
Hesitating for a moment, her hand resting on the document, she passed Jack a passport. He looked at it for a second before taking it himself. He flipped through to the most important page and stared at it. Kate watched him and saw how his eyes disconnected from everything else. He shut the passport and closed his eyes
" I take Locke didn't find anyone with the cases." observed Jack.
" Just the cases." said Kate, " Jack why didn't you tell me about your daughter?"
Silence filled the air. Something told Kate the Jack wasn't finding it easy to deal with this new development. Clearly he'd done everything he could to hide the fact he had a daughter.
" Was she on the plane?" asked Kate.
Jack nodded, " She was in the tail section. We couldn't get seats together."
" The tail section. Jack I'm sorry."
" No it's okay, it's not your fault."
" She's pretty, how old is she?" asked Kate feeling that it might be good for Jack to talk about his daughter.
" Um…14, but she turns 15 in about three weeks."
" Was her mother on the plane?"
" No, she died when she was having Mia."
" Mia?"
" Amelia, that was her mom's name. It's just easier to call her Mia, she prefers it."
Jack's lips slightly curved at the edges as he told Kate about Mia. He told her about raising a child as a single dad, having to take her to the hospital with him and how hard it was when she started to become 'a girl'.
" She wants to be an author or a journalist when she gets older. She absolutely loves books."
Kate laughed, " She'd get on great with Sawyer."
Jack looked over to where Kate had directed her gaze and laughed himself as he saw Sawyer sitting by his tent, his head stuck in a book.
" It's good to see you laugh Jack. I mean I know it's probably not been easy for you but we never saw what happened to the tail section, there's a chance that she could still be…"
Jack interrupted her, " I thought that for awhile and when we first crashed I wanted to believe it but…I talked to Rose, and she believes so adamantly that her husband is still alive. She knows in her heart that he survived and I don't have that. I don't feel in my heart that she survived, and I don't know if that makes me a bad dad or a bad person but…I have responsibilities here, I have people to take care of and I can't spend my time focusing on saving someone that I don't think is still alive. I had to make a decision and I made it. Boone dying…it's just made it seem like it was the right choice."
Kate looked at Jack. His eyes glistened slightly but he didn't cry. She knew how hard it must be for him to give up his hope but he knew what he was doing, she knew he believed he was doing the right thing regardless of whether or not it was.
" I'd better get back to the caves." said Jack standing up and starting to walk away.
" Jack," said Kate turning to him, " Want me to bring you a book?"
" It's okay Kate, I have other ways to remember her."
