Can't Let You Go
Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine. I do not profit from this story.
Characters: Sam, Dean
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Spoilers: 7.07 The Mentalists
Beta: Webbswoman
Word count: 557 words
Summary: Sam wonders why he and Dean can't be away from each other. Dean doesn't want to wonder.
They were thirty miles out of the "most psychic town in the US" when Sam asked:
"Do you think there's something wrong with us?"
Dean snorted. "What exactly? Your hallucinations of hell? My trust issues? Being a bit imprecise there, Sammy."
"We can't stay away from each other. This is the third time we've done this and we always end up coming back. First back after the Vanir in Indiana, then after" and he hesitated there before he said the name, "Lucifer got out of his cage and again last week."
His brother shrugged, although he got what Sam meant. "There was Stanford. Two years."
"Yeah. The only time we were away from each other longer than a couple of weeks. Remember what that doc back at Glenwood Springs said about us?"
Dean slapped his hand against the wheel. "Come on, you don't seriously give a shit about what those idiots said?"
"I think he had a point. Remember Ash?"
"Ash?" Of course he remembered Ash, but he had no idea what Sam was getting at.
"He said we were soulmates."
"He didn't say we were soulmates, he said that soulmates share a heaven. We weren't together at the beginning. There's a difference." Or at least, he wanted there to be.
"So you don't think that we have something really unhealthy? Other people wouldn't have a problem with being on their own for more than a couple of weeks. Some brothers don't see each other for years and they're fine with it."
Dean sighed heavily. "Seriously, what do you want? Do you want us not to give a crap about each other? That's not us, Sam! We're just… close. That has nothing to do with codependence and nothing to do with soulmates. That's just the way we are."
"And you wouldn't change it? I mean, if I hadn't come back to find you a year ago when I didn't have my soul, you would have stayed with Lisa and Ben. But this way, you knew I was back, and you didn't want to stay."
"I wouldn't have stayed anyhow."
"Why not? You like them."
"I've told you that before, okay?" The older Winchester exclaimed. "I wasn't happy with them. Yes, I did it, but I did it because it was what you wanted before you jumped into the cage! Now would you quit talking about this?"
But Sam insisted. "So you wouldn't change it? You don't think it would be better if we were normal?"
"Come on, I really thought you were over your 'normal' phase!"
His brother continued to stare at him. Even looking at the road, Dean couldn't ignore it.
"No, okay? I wouldn't change it, even if I could! Now are we done?"
Sam deflated in his seat.
"Yeah," he said. "We're done."
But they really weren't. Five minutes of silence passed. Then Dean asked:
"Do you wish it was different?"
"I don't know. Maybe. Sometimes." Sam sighed. "I just don't want us to keep having to go through that."
Reluctantly, Dean conceded the point to him with a nod.
"So how about we make a deal?" He suggested. "If we feel as if it's getting too much, and this," he made a vague gesture between them, "is smothering us, we say so and get a bit of alone time. Deal?"
Sam nodded. "Deal."
Thanks for reading. Reviews are always appreciated.
