okay the first bit is actually taken from the book so bare with me. It does go into its own bit. I dont know what was going on in my head as I was writing this so It may be slightly confusing. So feel free to ask questions. I have the next four chapters written and they are slightly unpredictable and totally O.T.T but people who have already read it think its okay. But if you think otherwise please let me know..Enjoy..

Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me, his expression unreadable.

"Okay, let's talk" I said. It sounded braver than it felt.

He took a deep breath.

"Bella we're leaving"

I took a deep breath, too. This was an acceptable option. I thought I was prepared. But I still had to ask.

"Why now?" Another year-"

"Bella its time. How much longer could we stay in forks after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."

His answer confused me. I thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace, Why did we have to leave if they were going? I stared at him, trying to understand what he meant.

He stared back coldly.

With a roll of nausea, I realized I'd misunderstood.

"When you say we-" I whispered

"I mean my family and myself." Each word separate and distinct.

I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any sign of impatience. It took a few minutes before I could speak.

"Okay" I said "I'll come with you"

"You can't Bella. Where we're going. . . It's not the right place for you."

"Where you are is the right place for me"

"I'm no good for you, Bella"

"Don't be ridiculous." I wanted to sound angry, but it sounded like I was begging. "You're the very best part of my life."

" My world is not for you" He said grimly.

"What happened with Jasper- that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"

"You're right" he agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected."

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay-"

"As long as that was best for you" he interrupted to correct me.

"No! this is about my soul, isn't it?" I shouted, furious, the words exploded out of me- somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you- it's yours already!"

He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder- like the liquid gold had frozen solid.

" Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.

There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.

"You . . . Don't . . . want me?" I tried out the words confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.

I always woke up at this point.

I couldn't bare to hear his next words even in my dreams, After five years apart you think I'd be used to being on my own.

When Edward had left Forks, I found a reason to leave too.

I sat up in my bed and looked around for the second time that night. It was empty as it always was, I was 23 and single ,pathetic I know but I couldn't settle for second best when I'd already had the one person I truly wanted and loved.

Two hours and Id have to work at the secondary school I thought at in Midleton in Ireland.

It was like another Forks only in a different country I couldn't go back to sun and heat.

First days are always the worst I told myself as I dressed in daze.

I picked up a blue dress that hung just above my knee and was cut rather nicely but I guess it didn't matter cause I had to wear a jacket over it.

I walked into my first class, great first class Monday morning with a group of first years. The hour flew I found myself distracted often. I wondered the halls looking for classrooms. I was like a new student here myself.

It wasn't until lunch time that I caught up with the gossip. A few teachers were talking about a new group of students who had transferred here. Three were in fifth year and two in sixth year and then I began to drift not hearing the end of the conversation.

I looked at my timetable. 2 O' clock fifth year biology I walked in late and the class turned to look at me but my eyes were already on his. Edward was sitting in the fifth row of my Biology class, I really should have paid attention.

"Hi, I'm Isabella Swan but you can call me Ms Swan. Any Questions?" The class remained silent.

"Well to all of you I'm a new teacher here , first year so take it easy on me alright?" I looked around the room.

"Ok so ye know my name what's yours? Il start here" All of a sudden names were flying at me but I really wasn't paying attention until he said his name but I chose to ignore it and focus on what I had to do.

That class went painfully slow and I never asked him a question just at the chance of being unhinged by him. I was a teacher and he was a student. Why did he have to move here? Why did he have to wreck my live again?

I was relieved I had the end of the day of. I sought out the Cullen's new address and I was of to talk to Carlisle and Esme for the first time in five years.

There house was huge well bigger than the one in Forks but just as beautiful. It took me a few minutes before I plucked up the courage to ring the door bell.

Carlisle answered the door and immediately recognize me.

"Bella?" he pulled me into a hug. What? No they had to go, I was not getting hurt again my life changed when they left.

"Carlisle" I spoke once he released me and suddenly Esme was beside him and Edward was on his other side.

"Bella its so good to see you" she spoke and hugged me. Seriously these people were seriously unwell if they thought I was happy to see them cause I wasn't. Just then Jasper walked in.

"She's going to Fucking explode if you don't let her go" Don't any of them go to school. I looked at Jasper and he winked. Oh fuck him like.

"Carlisle, Esme, I need to talk to you like right now if your not busy" I asked.

"Give us two seconds, Edward and Jasper will stay will you" Carlisle spoke.

"If you want me to come back Id be happy to, but being anywhere outside of school with him I find to be unnecessary" Everyone turned to look at me.

"Bella don't you think your being a bit harsh?" Jasper asked.

"My name is Isabella I changed it back once he left and no I fucking don't, you don't know what the past five years of my life have been like, I wake up three times a night with reoccurring Nightmares of the way he left me so no I don't think I'm being unfair and if you had any feelings which clearly some of you don't you'd see that I am right" I said all of this while looking directly at Edward.

"Isabella" Esme looked at me. "Were ready now, follow me" She waited while I caught up to her.

"Do you really think we don't have feelings?" she asked me sullenly.

"No I think some of you don't but obviously Esme you and Carlisle have feelings it obvious in the way you look after your kids and keep them safe"

She looked at me and hugged me again this time I hugged her back.

She gestured to a chair at the head of the table for me to sit. She joined Carlisle and then the rest of her family joined us.

"We don't talk without everyone being here sorry" she whispered well it sounded like a whisper.

"Fine whatever its better your all here this anyway I guess" I looked around the table my eyes rested on Edward it was easier to say what I had to say when I was looking at him and thinking about what he had done to me.

"No" Alice said before Id opened my mouth.

"Alice you have to understand, I know this isn't easy for you and I love you too but you can't just expect me to sit around and watch ye"

She sat back down at the table and looked down. Knowing everyone wanted to know what she saw and knowing Edward was the only one who had any idea of what was going on but remained silent.

"I want you to leave tonight today the sooner the better" All faces turned to look at me.

"Why?" Emmett asked probably thinking Id be happy to see them.

"Cause I fucking do okay, I compromised my life for all of you once, I'm not doing it again forget about it"

"Bella your being unfair" Emmett stated

"Really Emmett? You want to see unfair do you?" Alice's eyes looked over at me and Edward clutched the table. Emmett looked around and after a few minutes decided he wanted to know.

"Get up of your ass so and bring me to a bathroom and no Rosalie I'm not trying to seduce him just incase that's what you think!" Jasper laughed under his breath and she turned to stare at him

He took my hand and pulled me out of the room. "You walk to slow" He swung me onto his back and ran up the stairs. He didn't drop me until we were in the bathroom.

"Okay show me" I began to lift up my dress and his hands stopped me..

"What are you doing?" I laughed

"Showing you obviously I told you I'm not seducing you"

My hands went to my dress and I lifted it up over my head so he was looking at the back of me until I decided to turn around.

" Nice panties" He stated and I realised I was wearing black lace briefs with pink embroidery. God knows why.

"Victoria secrets" I laughed and then I turned around and he let a gasp escape his lips. Then I heard Alice scream.

"Bella what did you do to yourself?" Emmett asked as he appraised the Scars on my stomach.

I pointed to the longest one which was also the oldest.

"I did this the night he left, seeing my blood leave me was the only thing I had to remind me why he left and I hated it. This one" I pointed to just under my breast "the first nightmare I had" and it continued on like this for about ten minutes as Emmett went through every scar I had given myself over his brother.

"Why put yourself through this?" Emmett asked

"Well it was that or kill myself and I was stronger than to kill myself I just harmed myself and hated the fact that my blood the thing that kept me living was the one thing I hated as it had taken him away from me." I couldn't hear what was happening outside the door of the bathroom but I knew Edward was there and Alice I wasn't sure about the rest.

"I'm sorry" He whispered.

"Its wasn't your fault, how were you to know?" I wrapped my hands around his waist and hugged him.

I walked out of the bathroom to find all of the family standing there and Edward was at the head of the group.

"Why?" He asked.

"you were listening you know why" I went to leave but cool fingers caught my wrist.

"Isabella!" Carlisle eyes were looking into mine. "Yes" I answered I owed Carlisle a lot and so I would wait to hear what he said.

"Were not leaving I can't, I'm hear to protect humans who know about vampires from the Volturi and you can see why I chose you." I looked at him.

"Your point being, you can't leave but he can" I pointed to Edward.

"Yes Bella he can but he won't he left once, twice would definitely kill him"

"Carlisle if you wont leave I will, I don't need a freaking babysitter, Five years Carlisle, I recall being promised peace without reminders well what the fuck do you call this?" I said looking at each and every single one of them.

"Isabella we cant leave it's a simple concept where you go we go" I looked at him.

"Fine, but stay out of my way Edward, Carlisle Esme thanks for having me and Emmett Alice has already seen them and Edward may have caught glimpses but you speak to know one about what you saw promise" I asked.

"Promise, it's the one thing I can do after you went through that" Then a thought occurred me I could kill myself it would be easy and no-one could stop me, then I wouldn't have to deal with them and they could leave. Alice looked at me as did Edward.

" Isabella Swan don't you dare! I will be watching your house personally, now you even though of that and when I cant do it someone else will" she warned.

I left then aware someone was following me but I didn't even have to look to know it was Edward.

"Bella look at me please" He asked.

" My names Isabella, only one person can call me Bella and to me he died along time ago Edward, and when he left I died too. I can't look at you I refused to be that weak girl who used to believe everything you told me like when you said you loved me and then you up and left I can't handle the though of that again." I got in my car and drove away aware that someone was watching me from the bushes but I didn't hide my tears why bother. It didn't change anything.

I woke the next morning to find Alice sitting on my window sill staring at me. "Morning Alice" I called.

"Morning"

"You know you could leave now and let me get dressed in peace"

"I am letting you get dressed in peace, Edwards on duty next" A smile placed on the corner of her lips.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me, I have to teach him even tough he knows more than me, he's like a freaking stalker" I ranted and Alice was now laughing uncontrollably.

"Isabella, give him a break he's trying. Oh and can I please call you Bella?"

" Fine but don't tell Edward he'll think he has permission to say it too when he does not." She laughed again.

I went to my bathroom and showered quickly. I knew I was skinnier than the last time they had seen me. I also knew my breasts were three sizes bigger so Edward better not be watching me sleep as my nightdress was all to revealing.

After about ten minutes I walked back to my room to find an outfit had been picked for me. I decided Id wear it I had nothing against Alice just her asshole of a brother.

I took note of when she left and when Edward arrived so Id know to be dressed by this time for future references. He walked in like it was his own home and sat in my chair of all of them hed pick my chair. Probably on Purpose I though to myself.

"Get out Edward" I said no need to strain my voice.

"No"

"Edward Cullen get out of my house now or I swear Il scream RAPE at the top of my lungs"

Loud laughter filled the room.

"Isabella do you really think Id let that happen really?"

"Oh whatever I'm going to be late" I picked up my bag and walked out the door aware that he was following me.

"You cannot arrive to school with me, so back the fuck off"

"I wont be with you if you haven't noticed Jasper is right there"

"Morning Jasper, how was your Night?" I asked simply to piss Edward of.

"Well Alice wasn't there and Edward was moaning and You made Esme depressed which made Carlisle depressed and Rosalie was bitching so I ended up hanging out with Emmett. We watched some movie cant even remember what it was called pure rubbish and then we went wrestling were Edward joined it and beat Emmett but me and him called a tie, like always."

"Nice, Is Alice always on Night duty?"

"No It's my turn tonight. Why?"

"New pyjamas that's all" Both of them started laughing.

"Isabella Edwards seen you naked before"

"Yes he has, when I was fatter and had a flat chest and now I'm skinny and have a chest which is clearly visible through my Nightdress so Yes a new pyjamas is definitely a must."

"Yes but why get it today? Its just a waste of money, your bound to have a shirt that will cover you up"

"Eh no, All my clothes are rather slutty, why have a chest and not show it off, I am not wearing my work clothes to bed either so don't suggest it"

"Okay Calm down."

" Hey Jasper I've a brilliant idea. I know it's a Tuesday and we've school in the morning but do you want to go out tonight, Il show you where I used to work but keep it to yourself"

"Fine whatever, but if you end up with a hangover entirely your own fault." he laughed

"You seriously under estimate me! Jasper be there for eight and Edward Il see you in Biology.

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Jen xxxx