Behind the Light of the Moon

Disclaimer: Idea received after watching a drama series. Do not own the series nor DC.

Summary: (AU) Ai Haibara's past. A murder, two lovers, broken wishes and hopes, things that lead up to what she is today. Born into a society of deviant hate, a child's struggles that gave birth to a longing of a lost love, embedded deep within her self andsuppressed with hopes that it will never surmise again.

Prologue

"She's an idiot," Haibara muttered under her breath as she glared through the strands of her hair toward a particular figure.

Ran smiled cheerfully, bursting out in laughter every now and then, as she joked with her friends. It was early in the afternoon. The bell that signalled the end of another long school day can still be heard in the background. Students appeared in continuous waves out of the front door of the buildings and scattered as soon as they made their way out of the gates.

Soloing out the girl with the small pink cell phone that hung from her bag, Haibara followed with a careful distance between her and the girl to avoid notice. Her hands that already grasped tightly around a pair of scissors gripped even tighter. She followed in that manor for what must have been hours but it seemed like no time has gone passed. The sun had lost it's brilliance and dimmed to an orange glow behind a thick patch of cloud, spreading and awkward red light across the sky which darkened to nothing. Peeking her head out from behind a corner, she could see the girl waving goodbyes to her other friends. The girl lowered her hand and turned to the direction to where she was hiding. Haibara ducked slowly back. She twisted the scissors, then opened it with her fingers and closed it again with a snap. The streets were empty, not a person in sight. The sound of the key chains which hung upon Ran's bag echoed to her ears as she opened the scissors and snapped it shut once more. Ran came around the corner in a sort of slow skip. Haibara kept her head low, bangs shadowing her eyes, and walked out calmly in front of the girl she had been pursuing. Ran stopped and looked down. Recognizing the orange-brown colour of the hair, she was about to call a hi when the girl lunged to her.

"It's always you…" Haibara said calmly as she forced her blade into the teen's chest. 'I hate you. How can there be a person like you when there are people like me.' she sneered in her mind.

The teen's eyes snapped open as it turned down to the tiny chemist with shock. "Why," Ran barely managed the mutter.

Ai pulled the scissors out and watched the girl fall to her knees before her. "Life isn't fair," she leered coldly, "It never is." With that, she raised the scissors to the girl's neck and pushed the girl's head back with her other hand as she prepared for her final assault.

Oooooooooooo

Eyes flared open with a gasp, forcing the shrunken scientist to jump up from her sleep. Shifting back slightly and leaning against the bed frame, she took a deep breath to try to settle herself. Her hands were trembling and moist, her heart was still drumming, and the small wet patch on her pillow made her realize that her face was covered in cold sweat as she wiped it off with the sleeves of her pajamas.

Her eyes shifted to a small folder which laid on the table beside her computer, then turned to a desk across from it, to a small cylindrical container without any labels upon it. 'I just can't do it,' she thought to herself as tears built up on the underside of her eye, 'If I reveal it…'

She managed to get to her feet and wobbled across the room before her desk. Forcing the tremors of her hands to settle with a slam upon the surface of the furniture, she grabbed a pencil with one and a stack of paper with the other. Biting her lips, she placed the pen down upon the blank sheet of the lined paper and took in a deep breath.

Oooooooooo

Dear Kudou-kun,

I am not sure as to how many pages this may take, for me to lay out to you my entire childhood to you, but I hope after reading this you will forgive me for what I have done. Think of it like my final wish and read this from beginning to end. I know I have already taken so much from you but allow me to have whatever small amount of time you will have to spend in reading this.

I will admit to the fact that I held out on you. In fact, I may go as bold as to say that I've never told you anything true about matters regarding myself up until this point. Things such as the fact that Miyano Akemi was not my sister, my parents were never killed in a car accident, they were all false. But what you are about to read, I will assure you, are real.

That being said, to believe or not is still up to you. But trust me Kudou-kun, if you did not fully trust me before, then let this be the one time that you trust me completely when I say that I did everything I could to ensure your happiness. But I am only human you see, I have a heart of my own. I have a soul that cries, I have a mind that aches. If after reading this, I could get but two things from you, it would be your understanding and forgiveness. That isn't too much is it?

Before I continue, in case my own emotions refuses me to finish, I will write these three things, as sincerely, as truthfully, the words I could never speak out. "I'm sorry, thank you, and good bye."

Haibara Ai

TBC…

If after reading this prologue, you found it interesting, please review. Updating a story no one reads doesn't really feel…quite motivational haha! Anyways, hope you all liked it. Don't worry, and I'm sorry to some, but there will not be any detailed scenes of sexuality but you're all free to imagine to the fullest extent of your imaginations ha ha!