Author's Note – I'm back readers! It's been a long hiatus with a story I really had no ideas with (yet), but I'm making my return with this tale, one combining two of Tim Burton's most beloved characters. And in case you were wondering, the version of one specific character will follow his movie version and not television version in keeping with the true "spirit" of things. As you know, I own nothing in this tale. Unless they're characters that appeared in neither movie. Then they're mine. Also, this story stakes place a little while after Nothing Ever Turns Out Like It Should in the Nightmare Before Christmas section if seeking more background. Savvy? Good.

Ghost With the Most

Sandworms. He hated them. Judging by how many times one of those bastards swallowed him, they hated him too. Come to think of it, didn't he die that way? How could he die anyway, it's not like he was living to begin with.

He remembered few details of his "life" before his eternity long prison term on Saturn. There were the elaborate pranks, the pained screams of tortured mortals, and The Exorcist, which he could never see again as long as he was here. He remembered having his head fixed after angering a dead shaman before the Netherworld Officials dropped him on the sands with nothing more than a ragged orange jumpsuit on his back. Most of all, he remembered the power he used to have, the ability to do anything, as long as he was summoned by the sound of his name three times.

Alas, that was gone. By his banishment to Saturn, the afterlife had sealed him away not only physically but mentally as well. No living mortal would be able to utter his name three times in order to summon him ever again by decree of Netherworld Law, and no member of the deceased was stupid enough to do so, even accidentally. At least, not yet.

Far away from Saturn, in a place that transcends time, life, and death itself, a short, stocky man with a hat much taller than him was finishing up a phone call.

"Adam, yes it's me. The Mayor. Of Halloween Town? I booked you and Barbara for a wedding?" he asked.

"Oh, right! Yes, I remember now," said the voice on the other end of the line.

"Well, I'm afraid it's off."

"That's a shame. Did they break up?"

"They eloped a month or so ago."

"Wow! Fancy that," said the man on the other end of the line. "Shame for us, though. We're only allowed to leave the house if it's on business with other Afterlifers. Will there be any other events you'll need us for?"

"I'll keep you in mind." said the Mayor before picking up what appeared to be a manual. "And than you again for sending me a copy of this book. It'll be very helpful to our Pumpkin King."

"No problem at all, Mr. Mayor. Keep in touch."

"Of course, Adam. Give my regards to Barbara. Goodbye."

With that, the Mayor hung up the phone, got out of his chair, and toddled his way out of the Town Hall with the book. He managed to get a quick glimpse at the cover as he made his way to Skellington Manor. Apparently, it was a guide specifically made for ghosts and humans with the purpose of sharing the mortal world, and a supposed follow-up to the classic Handbook for the Recently Deceased. Jack would surely be interested in this.

That is, if he weren't so, to say politely, entrenched in marital bliss at the moment. The Mayor must have rung the bell no less than a hundred times until he heard rushed footfalls approaching the front door which was then opened by the Pumpkin King in all his black-robed glory.

"Yes, Mayor?" he asked, slightly out of breath.

"I got this as a present from the Maitlands. I just canceled their appointment for the wedding. You and the queen are in the clear now," said the Mayor, handing Jack the book.

"Thank you again, Mayor. Is there anything else you need me for today?"

"Not at the moment. I'll stop by if I think of-"

"Great, thanks!" Jack exclaimed as he slammed the door.

The Mayor sighed as he turned away and carefully climbed down the steps. "Newlyweds."

So they had been for weeks. There was never a moment where the Pumpkin King could be seen without his lovely queen in attendance. Holding hands, giggling to themselves, stealing kisses, yes it was certainly a romance that blossomed even more so with marriage. Even now, after hours of connubial bliss, Jack was ready and raring for more. Unfortunately, his bride didn't share that sentiment. He saw so the minute he caught her descending the staircase – fully clothed.

"Jack, don't give me that look," Sally said the minute she saw his grin falter. "We can have some more fun after lunch. I'm hungry, and a little surprised that you aren't."

"Oh, I'm quite hungry," Jack said, grin returning to his face as he followed Sally into the kitchen.

"Then we can take an hour long food break," Sally replied, standing on her tip toes to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"If you say so, Babydoll," Jack sighed. "You can't blame me, though. I am married to the loveliest woman in the afterlife," he continued as he walked back into the living room, plopping himself on the couch.

"Alright, that earned you fifteen minutes off of break time. But I'm not giving in any more than that," Sally said from the kitchen, giggling as she changed the topic. "Jack, are you sure you don't want anything to eat or drink?"

"Maybe something to drink, but that's it. Thanks," Jack answered as he began to flip through the book.

Strange. Someone seemed to have written in the margins of this book. There were notes and odd pictures everywhere. They attracted Jack's attention far more than the book itself. He'd have to read it some other time. For now he was looking at the curious instructions on how to haunt a dinner party with shrimp cocktails.

As he flipped through the pages, the scribblings began to focus on one particular subject, usually referred to as "Beej", "B.J.", and most common, "him". Whoever this guy was seemed to be trouble to the owners of this previous book. There were some notes on a supposed trial of his in which he was banished… somewhere. Jack couldn't quite make out that word. It looked like "Saturn," but it was impossible to send anyone to another planet as punishment, right?

"Here," Sally said as she walked over to Jack with a tall glass of pumpkin juice extended towards him. "Ooh, what's that you're reading?"

"A book the Mayor gave me," Jack replied as he took the juice and sipped from the glass. "It's a manual for deceased-living interaction, but it looks like someone broke all of the rules and got written about all over the place."

"Weird. Does he have a name?" Sally asked as she walked back into the kitchen to get herself a meal.

"Not a real one. Oh, wait! Here's something."

Jack had turned to a page with two hand drawn diagrams, that of a bug and a carton of orange juice right next to each other. Underlined under the diagrams were the words "Reminder - Under NO circumstances pronounce these two things together!!!" If it were a normal, regular average human being reading this book, perhaps he or she would have dropped it upon reading those instructions or tossed it aside vowing to follow those hastily written words. Alas, it was Jack Skellington, Pumpkin King of Halloween Town who possessed the book, and besides being the most terrifying specter ever to haunt the holiday, he had a streak of curiosity matched only by his impeccable ability of causing unintentional harm.

"Bug juice?" Jack asked. Nothing happened. "Insect juice?" Again, nothing. "Roach juice?"

"What are you doing?" Sally asked, walking back into the room and munching on what seemed to be an octopus tentacle sandwich.

"Trying to figure out a riddle in this book. Here, give it a try," Jack said, covering up the ominous message with his fingers.

"Bug juice?" Sally asked as she glanced at the pictures

"That's what I thought, but I don't think that's it."

"Hmmm… Must be some kind of an insect then. Look at how round it is. Looks like some kind of a beetle."

"Beetle Juice?" Jack asked.

Far away, on Saturn's dusty plains, a deceased prisoner felt a familiar pull and an odd sense of hope. Then he shook his head. No. No one would be that daring or stupid.

"What are you covering with your fingers?" Sally asked.

"Oh, just some scribbles," Jack said, shutting the book. "It would fit though."

"What would fit?"

"Beetle Juice."

Again, the pull. He looked at his jumpsuit to see that it was gone. It was replaced by the black and white striped suit he loved to wear when terrifying mortals and undead alike. Some member of the undead really was that daring or stupid! Now all they had to do was repeat it. Repeat it that one last time.

"Are you covering the answer?"

"Perhaps."

"Come on, show me."

"I don't know, maybe after break time's over."

"Oh, you're mean." Sally said teasingly before taking a bite out of her sandwich.

"You're mean. Has it been forty-five minutes yet?"

"I might cut it down if you show me the answer."

"Let's just leave it at a draw and go back to bed. Yes, the answer is Beetle Juice."

And he was gone. Gone from the sandworms and the eternal toil. Instead, he found himself on the steps of a house in a place that was most certainly not the one he was so quickly ripped away from those years ago. He looked into the windows of the house to find and obviously undead couple playfully teasing and bantering until the skeletal man picked up his lady and took her upstairs. He had to have been the one who summoned him. He always knew who summoned him.

He smiled a rotted green smile as he descended the stairs and exited the gates in front of the house. He could fit in here just nice, albeit with a few changes. He'd have to put himself in charge and find a way back to the mortal world and cause all the havoc he'd missed out on causing these past years. Yes, the afterlife was finally going to treat him right.

"It's show time." he whispered to himself.

To Be Continued…