Chapter One
It happens late one night. Early morning really. I wake up screaming as usual. Oh how I wish he was here. On the train, in the Capitol, he always held me. Kept the nightmares from returning. But I'm too stubborn. I don't touch him. Don't admit that I miss his strong arms holding me in the night. I need him. I am falling apart without him. Slowly, bit by bit. Why am I pushing him away? Why am I wasting precious time I could be spending with him? I would give anything to have more time with all the loved ones I've lost. My resolve strengthens. I need my rock, my dandelion in the spring, my hope. And yes, my love. I love Peeta. Of course I do. Of course I love the boy who saves me over and over and over.
I don't even look at the clock. I don't care what time it is. I'm not wasting another minute, another second not being with him. I get up and pull on my boots and coat and march over to his house. I know his door won't be locked. With Snow gone we no longer fear for our safety.
I quietly open the front door and close it behind me. The house smells of Peeta. It smells of bread and paint. Of home. As I stand in between the kitchen and the living room I know I have made the right decision coming here and I kick myself for not realizing all this sooner. I've been so selfish putting my pain first. Especially when he always put me first. He lost people he loved too. I haven't been here for him. Before I go any further I stop myself. Now is not the time for self-pity and loathing.
I walk up the stairs to his bedroom. His door is open and the moonlight from his open window lights his sleeping face. His peaceful, handsome, sleeping face. Instantly all my pain and hurting is forgotten. All I can think is how this boy sleeping before me is the answer to all my problems. He is my hope. He is my salvation.
I take off my boots and coat by the door and walk to the opposite side of the bed. I stare at him, sighing. Like he senses my presence he slowly opens his eyes, looking straight at me. As he watches me he quietly says "I've been waiting for you." Then he pulls back the covers so I can climb in.
He covers me up, wrapping his arms around me, pulling my head to his chest. I can hear his familiar heartbeat. Once he loosens up his hold on me I whisper, "I'm sorry I took so long."
He kisses my hair, breathes me in and says" You're here now, that's all that matters."
I turn my face to his, wanting to explain, to tell him every revelation I've had tonight. Knowing me as well as he does he just says "Shhh." Then softly kisses my lips. "We can talk in the morning. Right now I just want to hold you, Katniss. Hold you and sleep."
Staring into my eyes he kisses me one more time. A light brush of our lips. I want to deepen it but feel I should apologize, tell him everything before we go there. I settle myself back on his chest and quickly fall into a dreamless sleep.
