for the both of us
Or the one where Austin is her escape and saves Ally from herself.
Disclaimer: I don't own this.
Warnings: nothing too bad...nothing graphic.
Notes: I found a poem, and based it off of that plus some personal experience and this little baby was born. Also known as I procrastinated on my...everything...and I also felt bad for leaving y'all hanging. And I purposely didn't capitalize the title.
Kinda sad. But fluff ending.
When Ally falls, Austin picks her back up. When she cries, he can wipe the tears away. She doesn't realize how perfect she is, but Austin thinks that he could love her enough for the both of them.
Ever since her parents had started fighting, Ally had been a little bit off. Austin wasn't sure what exactly was wrong with her, just that she'd caved in on herself and was even quieter than normal. She had been so secretive, and Austin wanted to know what was wrong.
"Ally?" He asks gently one morning as he thinks he sees her crying. "Are you okay? What's wrong, what do you need-"
"Austin," she says slowly. "What would you say if I wanted to do some bad things?"
"What kind of bad things?" He asks cautiously.
"Um..." She starts, semi-laughing. "I kind of want to stay up all night drinking."
Austin was shocked, but he nodded and pulled her in for a hug. "Okay," he answered, a plan forming in his head. "We will."
That night, he showed up at her house with a twelve pack of caffeinated sodas. "Drink up, you're gonna be drunk on sugar."
She laughed, mostly thinking he had misunderstood her, but invited him inside and they stayed up until 2 in the morning.
.•.•.•.
She thinks her parents will separate soon, and Austin hold her through the tear-filled, sleepless nights. At least now she's talking...most of it comes out in tears, but she talks.
"It's all my fault," She cries. "If I hadn't, if I wasn't-"
"Hey, it's not your fault," he whispers, not wanting her parents to realize he's in her room as they scream at each other. "It's never your fault."
"I wish I didn't have to hear them yell," She whispers. "Maybe I should just cry myself to sleep..."
He agrees that she should, and once again, she's surprised. He usually hates when she cries...but she understands, as soon as he pulls out her laptop and puts on Marley & Me, which he knows for a fact she sobs at. He crawls on with her, and true to his word, lets her cry until she sleeps.
.•.•.•.•.
Her dad blows up at her one night; not because he's mad at HER, just the situation they're all in. So once again, she calls Austin, knowing he'll fix things.
"It wouldn't hurt if I didn't care so much," she whispers into her phone as she slips into the house. "If I had an escape."
"An escape?" He asks, sounding confused. "Like..."
"Like if I could get high," she says suddenly, and there's silence on his end.
"I'll be there in ten minutes," he says suddenly. "Put on tennis shoes."
He takes her to the tallest hill in town, which in turn isn't very tall, but tall enough that they can see the city well.
"This is amazing," she breathes, clutching his hand and peering down at the city. "Wow."
"And now you're high," he explains, and she suddenly understands why he brought her here.
"Thank you," she says seriously, and he understands that it's not for the mountain, or the soda, or the movie, but for being her escape.
.•.•.•.•.
Ally has the worst day she's ever had. Her heel breaks in the hole in the sidewalk, she fails her test which she thought she aced, she forgets her lunch money, and both Austin and Trish are home sick; and when she gets home, her parents are still yelling, except this time she's dragged into it as well. She cries, and screams back at them for hurting her, dragging her into an argument that has no relevance to her. And then, as a second nature, she calls Austin.
"I swear," She mumbles into his chest once he drops into her room. "I'm going crazy. Sometimes I just...wanna shoot myself in the face," She lets slip, and then freezes, as if realizing what she said.
Austin tenses, too, but he nods, and says, "Okay."
He takes her by the hand and they drive to Dez's house, and Austin pulls out his friend's supply of water guns. He brings over the biggest he can find, and hands it to Ally, spinning it around so the water spout faces her nose. He puts both their hands on the trigger, and helps her pull it, water spraying all over them as she laughs.
"Thanks," She says, catching him in a not-so-dry hug.
.•.•.•.•.
Her parents announce that they are going to separate for a while, and Ally feels numb. She calls Austin automatically, as if she can't get through a single day without this.
"Hi," She mumbles, and he waits to hear what else she wants to do, after she explains what's gone on.
"Ally? You're being so quiet..." He says gently, not wanting to startle her over the phone.
"I...I can't feel anything," She says, and it's the fear in her voice that he notices. "I want to feel something, I...I..." She spies her razor and intakes a sharp breath. "I want to cut myself," She whispers, but at the same time, she knows she won't do it.
Austin makes a choking noise and asks her to go into her room.
"Find your least favorite picture of you, one you don't need," He advises, and she pulls the one with the braces and pimples and frizzy hair out of the drawr. "Find some scissors, and cut it all up."
He listens as she does, and she admits to feeling better afterwards.
"Ally," He starts, and she's surprised. He sounds upset with her, and he never really is after he gives her one of his solutions. "Be good to yourself," He says, and it sounds like defeat.
.•.•.•.•.
"Is it bad that I want to see my blood?" She asks over lunch, and Austin just sighs, already used to the change in his best friend. He shakes his head and grabs her hand, leading her out of the food court and into the nearest jewelry store.
"Hi, we're here for an ear piercing?" He asks, and Trish turns around. Since when does she work here?
"I'm not supposed to, without an adult here," She says nervously, chewing her lip. "I could get fired."
Austin and Ally give her a look, and all three laugh. (Ally's laugh is beautiful, Austin notices. He doesn't hear it enough.) Trish would get fired anyway, so she agrees to pierce Ally's ears quickly.
It stings, and there really isn't any blood, but Austin points to her ears, and Ally imagines she can see some.
But she's too distracted by the new gold stars in her ears to care about pain. She feels happy.
And, as Austin tells her, very pretty too.
.•.•.•.•.
Austin notices that Ally hasn't said anything further to him since wanting to see her own blood, and he isn't sure whether he's scared or relieved. He watches her talk animatedly to Trish, and smiles to himself over his turkey sandwich.
"What're you smiling at?" Dez asks quietly, and Austin just nods to his best friend. Dez connects his gaze to where Austin is watching the brunette, and he breaks out a smile of his own.
"She seems happier," He observes, and Austin nods. "Wonder what happened?"
"Guess she just needed to know someone was there for her," Austin answers, hearing Ally laugh for a second time. "That someone loves her."
.•.•.•.•.
Once her parents finalize their divorce, Ally reverts back into her shell. Except this time, she isn't too keen on having Austin around. He practically breaks down her door, ignoring her dad yelling at him to go away, until he finally hears her muffled voice through the door.
"I just want to be alone, Austin," She mumbles, and he gets an idea. He runs quickly downstairs and to where they keep the supplies for music camp. Quickly filling out a nametag, he slides it back under her door and waits.
Ally smiles when she sees the Hello, My Name Is...Alone, sticker Austin slides under her door, and eventually lets him in.
"Thanks," She says when he holds her. "You know, for..." She trails off and looks down, embarassed.
"I know," He whispers. "I know."
.•.•.•.•.
Ally shows up at Austin's house, and the lay in his backyard under a tree.
"When they um...started the fighting," She announces, breaking the silence. "I just wanted it to stop." She clears her throat and he knows not to talk.
"It was loud," She continues. "And it scared me. Suddenly seemed like they had forgotten all about me, like they didn't want me...and then in the moment, all I wanted was someone to take care of me, and love me, always."
Austin's about to say when didn't I when she sniffles and leans into his side.
"But then I realized you did that everyday," She whispers. "You kept me from hurting myself, and I barely noticed. But now that my mom is gone and my dad doesn't have anyone like that, besides me...I realized how much I love you. And I just...well I just...I just figured that if you did all that maybe-you-might-love-me-too."
She says it so quickly he almost misses it, but he laughs and tilts her head up to look at him.
"Yeah," He says. "I do. Love you. And I did all those things because I love you and I don't know what I'd do without you. I'd probably die if anything happened to you," He admits. "So be good to yourself. But for the times when you can't, I'll be good to you enough for the both of us."
And that makes her heart melt and her head spin. And it makes his brain go all fuzzy and his heart start to beat fast and they think that maybe they can be together, and that maybe they won't be like their parents, and that maybe things will be okay.
Because when Ally falls, Austin picks her back up. When she cries, he can wipe the tears away. And when she can't realize how beautifully perfect she is, he can love her enough for the both of them.
...
AN: So...sad but sweet, and it's all quite cute, isn't it? I think we all need Austins, but...hm. Well anyway, basically, if any of you all ever feel the need to do anything like this, pleasepleaseplease please try your hardest not to. I'm here to talk :)
xx
