AN: This will be a series of shorts about the team finding out that Abby does not like to be touched at certain times, that she actually has a phobia. This includes the topic of child abuse so I suggest if you're triggered by that, don't read on.
Her eyes were wide and her lip was bleeding, she had bitten down on it too hard again. Her hands shook and adrenaline rushed through her. He had touched her and it terrified her. Fear filled her body from head to toe and for once; she couldn't hide it. It was written all over her face and there was nothing she could do. She was internally freaking out; so close to a breakdown. She needed to escape more than ever and yet she was frozen.
Stuck in one place.
"Abigail?" Becker raised an eyebrow, watching as Abby's face twisted. He had called her that damn name, the terrible name she refused to listen to. She couldn't stand it; that was the name her father had screamed over and over again.
"You touched me..." She finally muttered feeling absolutely useless and stupid. So what? Why had it been such a big deal? Why couldn't she just be normal?
"I'm sorry...it was just a friendly punch. Did it hurt?" He was confused. She normally never acted like this, she usually punched him back as hard as she could. Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.
She nodded slowly and looked down, words not being able to form anymore. What was she supposed to do? Tell him that even a simple touch would've made her act like this? That his touch had burned?
"Abs, is something wrong?" His face softened up and he held his hands behind his back so he didn't accidentally wrap her up in a hug. He could tell she didn't want that.
"No, no. Nothing's wrong, Becker. Can you just...go away?" Abby couldn't help but lie. She didn't want to tell him, she didn't want to tell anyone. Everyone would think differently of her then...
"I'm not stupid, you know." He claimed, rolling his eyes.
"So says you."
"Very funny." A tight lipped smile appeared on his face. "I just want to help, you know."
"You can't help, no one can help, and no one will ever be able to help."
Becker sighed. She was a stubborn woman, practically a carbon copy of him and it was extremely frustrating. What could ever get through to her? Finally, he gave up saying anything. It wasn't worth his time. The soldier didn't leave, though. Instead, he just stood there staring at her. Maybe the silence would get her to fess up.
Abby could glare at someone for hours if she attempted to...and that's what a part of her wanted right now. To kill Becker with her look, but another part of her wanted to crawl into his arms and have him make everything better. He was her best friend, he should be allowed to touch her and yet; sometimes no one could. But she could never explain it to anyone so she never mentioned it...and now it was about to be forced out of her.
After what seemed to be ten minutes, she looked down and cleared her throat. "It wasn't the punch that hurt,"
Becker nodded slowly, relieved that she was going to talk. Though she'd never admit it, sometimes she needed to talk. Everyone did. He stayed silent, just listening.
"It was your-your hand against my skin that hurt." She looked at the baffled look on his face and started playing with the bracelets that were wrapped around her wrist. She needed something to occupy her hands that wanted to do nothing but cause pain. "I know you probably won't ever understand, but I just can't. I can't touch anyone, no one can touch me. Not right now. It burns, not literally but that's how it feels to me. That's the only way I've ever been able to describe it..."
"I'm sorry, Abby. I really didn't know. You should give a guy some warning, huh?" Becker gave a small smile.
"Yeah...no one really knew. I liked it that way...then no one thought I was stupid." Abby mumbled, plopping herself down on a bench. "I think I'm always scared that when someone touches me, they're going to hurt me...because dad used to hurt me and after that...well...no one was ever allowed to touch me unless I allowed them or I directed it. Otherwise I lost all control over myself. I punched people, I screamed at people, I had meltdowns...school was hell."
The soldier gulped. He hadn't been expecting that. Hadn't expected what she had just told him, but now that she had; she saw her in a completely different light and it made him want to kill the man that ever decided to hurt such a beautiful girl.
"It doesn't make you stupid...it makes you smart. No one wants to get hurt again; no one wants to get hurt to begin with. But I just want you to know that I will never, ever hurt you intentionally and I'm sorry for doing so. Next time I will be more careful, yeah? Because you're like my sister...I want you to be happy."
Tears were filling her eyes and she tried to hide it. She didn't want him to see her cry, even if they were much happier tears than what tears were going to be spilled before. How was it that even if Becker didn't understand, he could make her feel so much better about everything? It wasn't fair.
A small smirk appeared on her face as she hesitantly raised her fist to punch him lightly on the shoulder. That was all she could take at the moment, but that seemed alright with him, who just laughed it off. "Thank you, idiot face. You're far too nice to me."
"That's because, Abby Maitland, I know you'll kill me in my sleep if I'm ever too mean to you." He told her, shaking his head. "Now get back to work, yeah?"
"Yeah, yeah." She was able to take a deep, calming breath and nodded.
As he walked to the doorway, he turned around. "And by the way; you're welcome." Becker gave her a small wink and left.
It felt nice to tell someone, to not bottle it up and keep it to herself forever, to have a friend that was always going to be there for her; whether he understood or not.
She was getting better and it just felt...nice.
