You Don't Have to Be Alone

Chapter 1: After 'Back to the Kindergarten"

"Okay. Now let go of me you two."

Amethyst and Steven had been side hugging Peridot for a good five minutes after Peridot finally let go. Peridot was starting to get annoyed by their affections just ever so slightly.

Only slightly though because it was also sort of nice.

"I'm not letting go until we get to our stop. How about you, Amethyst?"

The only response Steven received was a deep, bear-like snore. Steven and Peridot looked down at the purple gem who had fallen asleep during the side hug thing with, Peridot.

"Haha! Oh, Amethyst," Steven said in response.

Peridot couldn't help but crack a small smile. Lapis leaving was still fresh in Peridot's mind as it had only been a little over a week. Peridot closes her eyes and her hands clench together tightly in her lap as she relives the moment when Lapis looked back at her while she was taking the barn. Peridot didn't know what Lapis was seeing in that moment because she was too shocked by what the blue gem had been doing. Peridot could feel the hurt in her blue wife's eyes. Lapis didn't want to do what she did but…

She did it anyway.

A tiny tear formed in the corner of Peridot's right eyes and she quickly slipped a couple of her fingers under her visor to wipe it away hoping Steven wouldn't notice.

"No more crying," Peridot thought. "I've cried plenty in the last week."

Peridot looked over at Steven who was staring contentedly out at the roaming fields and countryside, and then over towards the sleeping Amethyst noting that the purple gem was fully asleep.

"Steven. Can I ask you something?"

Steven was rocked out of his content staring and brought right back down to reality real quick.

"Sure, Peri."

Peridot hesitates for a moment before speaking, trying to find the right way to word this question. It's been getting easier since living on Earth but it is still difficult sometimes for the green gem to decipher or try to explain what she is feeling emotional after having lived hundreds of years cutting out almost all emotion.

"Why would someone do something that they don't want to do?"

Steven's soft expression fell a little bit. His eyelids falling just a bit as he glances away from the green gem.

"Usually, at least what I have found in the past couple of years going out on adventures with gems and learning more and more about Homeworld and learning more about my mom, for better or for worse, is that the most common reason someone would doing something they don't want to do is to protect the people they love."

Steven lets himself fall back and lie down on the bed of the train.

"Even if they have to lie to you, or even if they have to kill someone."

Steven thought briefly about what Blue Zircon had said before Yellow Diamond poof-ed her. What she said made a lot of sense, but if a diamond killed another diamond wouldn't everybody know about it? Steven hadn't really had a chance to rack his brain about the possibility of his mom being innocent after all. He didn't know what to think or even who to really talk to about that possibility. None of the gems would give him the time of day, they would think Steven is just trying to avoid dealing with the idea of his mother, the all-loving Rose Quartz, taking a life.

"STEVEN!"

"Huh, what? I'm sorry Peridot. I just got distracted thinking about Homeworld stuff. Were you saying something?"

Peridot gave a signature turtle frown before speaking up, "Yes, I was asking if leaving would also be something someone would do to protect someone."

Steven sighed.

"Yeah, I guess. That could be something someone would do. I tried to leave Connie and keep her out of my life in order to protect her but that worked for all of a day before I broke down and couldn't do it anymore."

"So why did you choose to keep her in your life even though she would be objectively safer out of it," the green gem shot back.

"Really, she's the one who chose to stay. If she never came to the temple looking for me I might have very well let her go."

Steven curled up, pulling his legs in from dangling over the side of the train.

"She wanted to stay despite knowing how dangerous it was. She wanted to be a part of 'my universe' because she cared about me more than necessarily being safe all the time."

Steven wanted to grab the words back as soon as he said them. He had definitely said the wrong thing again and he and Amethyst just got Peridot back to a functioning state.

"So what you're saying is Lapis was more concerned with keeping herself safe than she was about me and this planet," a dark tone reflecting off of Peridot's voice.

The green gem shifted her head into her hands.

"I want to say no, Peridot but that is what happened-"

Peridot snapped her head towards the boy.

"Thank you, Steven. Now please discontinue trying to make me feel better as you are only succeeding in making things worse."

Steven sat up.

"Peridot, you didn't even let me finish. She did leave, but Lapis' situation and Connie's are two completely different stories. Connie hasn't really had any reason to leave up until I surrendered myself to Homeworld a couple weeks ago. We became close friends and she made friends with you and all the gems. She got to learn about magic and aliens. She got to become a crazy, amazing sword fighter, but it's just different for Lapis. She's suffered. She's suffered for thousands of years because of the last war she got caught up in and I can't imagine being trapped and unable to do anything about it for that long."

Peridot looked down, ashamed, "I couldn't either."

"I don't necessarily agree with what Lapis did but I know exactly why she did it. And that's sometimes all you can hope for."

The green gem is quiet after Steven says that. Steven is left feeling uneasy in this silence, still feeling guilty about basically being the reason Lapis left, and uncertain if he did more harm than good when it came to this talk with Peridot.

"Do you think she's ever coming back?"

The gem's voice pierces through the silent air, but Steven is feeling less and less comfortable by the moment. He wants more than anything to tell Peridot what she would want to hear, but he can't bring himself to do it. These last few months have done a lot to temper Steven's personality and because of this lying is out of the question.

"I don't think so. She seemed pretty determined about leaving and-"

Steven was going to continue giving justification on why she wouldn't be coming back but was halted by the sobbing of the green gem.

Steven closed his eyes and made a decision.

"-And although it's unlikely she'll come back on her own. I think its safe to say that after all of this Homeworld stuff has blown over we'll probably have a really cool spaceship that can go really fast so we can go look for her!"

Steven thinks for a moment.

"Provided we also survive."

Steven smiles widely at a sniffling Peridot looking up at him with teary, hopeful eyes.

"How does that sound, P?"

Steven barely had time to react before Peridot plowed right into him giving him a full-on hug.

"Thank you, Steven," was all the small, green gem could think to say.

"No problem. Until then though, just try to focus on other things. Like our new garden! I'm not sure where we'll put it quite yet but we'll figure it out day by day."

"True after our debacle with Andy, I did research into Earth land ownership and it's weird. All land is usually owned by somebody like how the barn used to belong to Andy before he gave it to us."

"Day by day, Peridot. We'll get through it."

They end their embrace and Steven notices they are getting close to where they need to hop off. Steven goes to wake up Amethyst.

"Amethyst, wake up. We have to hop off the train now."

Amethyst doesn't say anything in response, opting instead to roll off the edge of the moving train.

"AMETHYST," Steven and Peridot scream in unison. Steven does a high jump and uses his floating ability to land softly on the ground near Amethyst. Peridot jumps off and tries as she might she is not the most graceful gem and she falls flat on her face.

When Peridot pushes herself off the ground she notices a purple hand in front of her face offering to lift her up. Looking a bit higher and she sees a playful grin and Peridot can't help but blush a little bit.

"Wow, thanks."

"It's no problem, P. I know you can help falling for me."

Steven laughs at Amethyst's pun, while the purple gem helps Peridot up. The green gem brushes herself off before starting to walk forward.

"Well, let's get back to the temple, everyone."

~back at the Temple~

"So, are you sure you don't want to come back and sleep in my room, P? I've got a really soft pile of junk lying around somewhere with your name on it!"

Peridot raises her hands up in front of her body.

"No thank you, Amethyst. Steven and I have already worked out a system where he gets the use the bathroom as he needs it but I still stay in there."

Amethyst looked noticeably disappointed.

"Are you sure, Peri? You liked being cramped in that tiny bathroom instead of the infinitely vast majesty that is my room?"

"Yes," was all Peridot could think to say.

"Well okay, whatever dude."

Amethyst turns herself around and walks up to the temple do. Her gem glows briefly and a purple divider rips open the temple do revealing Amethyst room littered with piles of random junk gathered over the years. She raises a hand to say goodbye before disappearing into the magical chasms of the Temple.

Peridot turns to Steven.

"Steven, do you need to remove waste from yourself at all or perform any daily cleaning rituals before I retire for the night? "

Steven cringes a little and blushes.

"Please don't say it like that, Peridot."

Steven sighs.

"But yes, I would like to after the day we've had today. I'll be quick."

"Take your time, Steven."

Steven heads to his bathroom/Peridot's room and closes the door behind him. A satisfying click sounds off meaning he locked the door.

Peridot is now standing alone in the middle of the dimly lit room. The only light piercing into the room being the light illuminating off the sunset. Peridot looked out the window towards the beach and the sun was just barely touching into the watery horizon leaving the world in a dim, dusky light.

Peridot moved towards the screen door and went outside to the deck. The green gem proceeded to descend the stairs down to the beach. She walked closer and closer to the water until she got to the tide's edge. Feeling the wet sand underneath her feet, Peridot decided to sit down, with her butt just outside of the tide's range but her feet just within.

Peridot gazed at the sun as it beat its hasty retreat into the watery grave. The twilight growing ever so much more by each passing moment.

"I'm so alone without you, Lapis. I'm so alone and although it has gotten better the past week or so it's still so hard to think that you're not here."

Peridot clenches sand in her hands.

"And although I understand why you left it still hurts me so much. But as alone as I feel now that you're not here…that's not necessarily true. I don't have to be alone. I've got Steven, Amethyst, and all of the other gems- even Pumpkin here with me."

The tide brushes in on Peridot's feet.

"I know you can't hear me, and I know you're probably several star systems away by now but I just hope that you know that you don't have to be alone."

Peridot unclenches her hands of the sand and rests her palms gently back on the sand.

"I don't know when you're coming back, or even if you are coming back but I just hope while you're gone you have someone there, that you have a friend. Because you've already spent so much time by yourself."

The sun fully exits behind the horizon as Peridot finishes saying, "And you shouldn't have to spend another second feeling like that ever again.

Peridot hears a familiar bark and turns around only to be immediately accosted by none other than her favorite pumpkin dog.

"Ohhh, Peridot. It's nice to see you out and about!"

Peridot looks past her pup and sees Pearl and Garnet approached her on the beach.

"What were you two doing with Pumpkin?"

"We were just taking her on a walk. Dogs shouldn't be cooped all day whether they are pumpkins or not," Pearl said, her motherly overtones seeping through.

Garnet adjusted her shades, "She was pooping pumpkin seeds in the house and Pearl didn't like it."

"I-It's just not very sanitary."

Pearl's cheeks grew a little flushed while Garnet extended a hand to Peridot.

"Coming back in, Peridot?"

Peridot looked at the hand extended to her.

"Sure," she exclaimed taking the permafusion up on her offer.

Garnet lifted Peridot up off the ground and the trio plus Pumpkin set off towards the house as the night grew fast.