I Don't Need To Explain Myself To You

Fuck him. Fuck him and his attitude. I didn't need him. Forget those eyes that when he was teasing would brighten just a little. Forget the small smirk he'd give that could make and girl swoon and the way his bright red hair looks when it's in the sunlight. Just forget him, Camilla. You're an awesome person, and it's not your fault that he can't see it. That was the pep talk I'd give myself every morning I had to walk into Sweet Amoris High School. Every morning, I'd have to stop myself from scanning the crowds for him, and stop myself from even bothering trying to make sense of the situation itself. But it wasn't always like this. It used to be an awesome time for me, I had even going to school, because it let me see his face for almost six hours, uninterupted. I could, and should, start at that time. In doing so, I might be able to make sense of what happened myself.

I started Sweet Amoris High in my junior year. My parents had begun going through a really hard time, so to avoid it all, I moved in with my aunt, Danni, in Sweet Amoris. Things had started off really well, except for my aunt being, how would you describe her...eccentric. She likes to dress up very...oddly. At the time that I had just moved there, she'd entered her fairy-phase. No matter what though, I loved my aunt to pieces. My first day was spent running around trying to complete my enrollment forms. The class president, Nathanial didn't seem like my type of person. He joked, but wasn't very funny.
"So, um, where are you from?" He asked me as he searched through a pile of papers to find my enrollement form. I sighed and popped my gum loudly.
"The coast of Florida." I told him flatly. He pulled out some papers and shoved them back where he'd gotten them with a disappointed look on his face.
"That's cool, shouldn't you be more tan then?" He asked me teasingly. I glanced at my pale skin. I was never one of those girls who went to the beach every day she could in the tiniest bikini possible to see who would bat an eye at me.
"Tans are for pale people who can't accept being pale." I said back. He turned back with a frown on his face.
"I didn't mean it as an insult and it appears that I can't find your enrollemnt form. Mind coming back later or seeing if you can find it?" Nathanial asked in what I presumed to be his extra sweet-sugary voice. I sighed and left the student council room. I went down the halls, then turned a corner and was somehow in a classroom. I left that classroom and went out a door into the courtyard and that's where I first saw him. He was leaning on the basketball goal, his bright red hair almost flourecent in the sun. He had headphones in and his eyes were closed and he looked almost at peace. I hated that I had to ask him how I could get back where I started from. I took a deep breath and walked over to him. I tapped him on the shoulder. His eyes opened, they were a dark gray.
"May I help you?" He asked edgily. I took a small step back.
"I dunno if you'd like to." I told him matching his tone. He raised an eyebrow at me. "But I'd appreciate a nicer tone."
"What's your name?" He asked, his tone less irritated.
"Camilla, now if you could, can you tell me how to get back into the-" I started but was cut off by him.
"Camilla." He said almost trying out the words. "I'm Castiel."
"Nice to meet you, but could you tell me how to get back into the main-" I started again but was cut off by some guy walking over with white hair calling Catiel over somewhere else.
"It was nice meeting you, but I have to go." And he was gone. I was doomed. I winded up wandering around the campus, hungry, irritated and confused as hell. I walked into another classroom and in it was a orange-haired girl cleaning up her desk. She gave me a warm smile when she saw me.
"Hiya, you must be new here." She extended her hand to me. I took it gingerly. "I'm Iris."
"How can you tell that I'm new here?" I asked her. She laughed a little.
"Well you have that deer-in-the-headlights look on your face, and you seem to be lost. Can I help?" Iris asked me kindly. I told her where I needed to go and she helped me get back to where I need to go and where I could find everything nessacary to complete my enrollment forms. When I'd finished everything and was handing in my paperwork to the principal, I saw my old creeper from my former school, Kentin. He saw me and grinned creepily.
"CAMILLA!" He was by my side in two seconds. "How are you? Are you adjusting well? I missed you!" He was eager and it was annoying.
"What. The. Hell. Are. You. Doing. Here." I said, enunciating each word so he'd know that I was pissed and creeped out.
"I heard you were transferring, so I wanted to go to the same school as you, so I transferred too, isn't it nice?" Ken said, tears pricking the edges of his eyes behind those two-inch thick glasses of his.
"Nice doesn't qualify as being a grade A stalker. Leave me the hell alone." I turned to go. Ken grabbed my arm and I pushed him away.
"But wouldn't you like to walk home? We live so close by each other." Ken said feebly, his voice shaking. I scoffed.
"What part of 'leave me the hell alone' don't you understand?" I asked before I left the office and went out into the parking lot. The sun felt good on my skin. I never was one to want to soak up the rays so when I did, it was visible for weeks. I walked the short distance to my house and went to the kitchen. My aunt wasn't home so I made myself an afternoon snack and prepared myself for my first offical day at Sweet Amoris High School.

The next morning when I awoke, to the smell of freshly made waffles drifting up the stairs, everything finally clicked into place in my brain. The whole time, I'd been numb to what was going on around me. And it was all then crashing into me. My parents were slplitting, and my dad was leaving my mom for a lingerie model. I was staying with my oddball aunt in a new town. This was really happening and I was starting a new school. I blinked a few times, processing this new information. I threw the covers off of me and shuffled on downstairs. My aunt had already made a plate of waffeles.
"Morning, Buttercup. How'd you sleep?" She asked me. I shrugged.
"Like any person in a new town and new bed would." I told her with no conviction at all in my voice. She frowned a little but the frown disappeard as she pulled out another plateful of waffles out of the machine.
"You don't seem to be hapy about this. You could always stay with Grammy." My aunt told me. I sighed. Now my aunt thought I was being ungratful.
"No, I didn't mean it like that. It's just I'm not used to this. Mom and Dad didn't talk to me like your talking to me now." I told her "They were always too pissed with each other to ever notice me."
"I don't see how, your breathtaking, Camilla." Aunt Danni told me. I shrugged. With my long white hair and blue eyes, I thought I looked like a freak.
"Maybe because of the odd hair color choice I've made." I joked.
"Don't put yourself down. Your breathtaking not only in a physical way but emotionally and mentally too." Aunt Danni gave me a quick kiss on the cheek as she gathered her waffles into a container and hurried out the door. "Have an awesome day." She'd told me before shutting the door behind her. I sighed. I finished eating and went back into my room and got dressed. I didn't want to look too desperate so I settled for a band t-shirt and some skinny jeans. I walked out the door and on my way, I saw Ken walking in my direction. He screamed out my name and I started walking even faster. Not today was I going to deal with this kid.

At school, I saw three girls around the front of the school gossiping, as I passed I heard the word 'whore' sneered at me. I turned on my heels and charged back at the girls who were by then snickering away. I grabbed the brunette who'd sneered 'whore' at me by the hair.
"The fuck did you just call me?" I growled into the brunette's ear.
"Nothing." She said wincing in pain. A few people had gathered an were gawking at the display.
"Didn't sound like a 'nothing' to me. Now did it?" I yanked harder on her hair and she yelped in pain. I let her go and she caressed her hair.
"The hell's wrong with you?" The Asian girl of the group asked me, her hands in fists at her hips.
"I like being called my name and nothing more. Got a problem?" I asked her. She narrowed her eyes but didn't say anything.
"Just stay away from Nathanial, new girl, and we won't have a problem." The blond told me. "We might even get along."
"We'll see about that." I turned and continued on my way to my assigned locker. I wasn't pissed, not really. I was pretty normal feeling. I only pulled that girl's hair to assert my dominance on the female population of Sweet Amoris. I didn't want to be stepped on by anybody. I went to my first period and right as the bell rang, the office called for me. Jeers were made torwards me. "Shut the fuck up." I told people as I passed. In the office there was the principal, such a sweet lady, sitting at her desk, petting a dog in her lap.
"Miss Camilla. I hated having to call you in here." She said to me. I sat in the chair across from her and got comfortable.
"I know exactly why you called me in here." I told her. "I understand what I did was wrong, and 'unjustified'. But honestly, I don't regret doing it, so I'm not sorry." She raised an eyebrow.
"You have spunk, Miss Camilla. But I'm afraid I have to punish you."
"Do what you gotta do." I told her.
"I really don't want you to repeat what happened at your last school. Are you aware of how thick your file is?" She pulled out an overfilled manilla file folder. "This is your file, Camilla Edwards."
"Okay...Not all of that can be bad. There's got to be a perfect attendence award in there somewhere." I joked.
"That can't be possible. You've been suspended numerous times since you were in seventh grade. And not to mention you were suspended enough to be expelled from your last school" She sighed and set her dog on the floor. "Camilla, I would really rather you to try to make things better for you here."
"Can you just give me my punishment? No offense, but I'll get an earful from my aunt when I get home." I told her disinterested in the conversation.
"You might want to fix your attitude problem, Miss Edwards. I'm giving you an after school detention."
"Thanks. I'll see you later then." I stood and went to her office door.
"I would also appreciate it if you would refrain from causing anymore trouble, Miss Camilla." The prinipal called to me before I left her office and went back to clas. A few people jeered as I came back in. I sat in my desk. The person behind me poked me with a pencil. I turned to them.
"What'd you get?" They asked me. I smirked. This would be fun.
"Lean really close. I don't want anyone to know." I lied to him. He leaned closer. This was going to be really fun.
"None of your damn business." I whispered to him loud enough for people surrounding us to hear. Giggling surrounded us. I focused back on the teacher who'd either ignored what just happened or didn't pay any attention at all. When the bell rang, I took my time leaving the room. I got the nessacary notes and left to my locker. Iris was waiting for me when I got there.
"Hey, um, I hate to sound like some gossip, but what happened? I've heard some crazy rumors already. And did you really come from juvie?" Iris asked me curiously. I stared at her, trying to see if she was just intrested in gossip or not. I finally decided she wasn't.
"I didn't come from juvie. I'm from Florida. And all what happened was that I just put a girl in her place." I told her. She cocked her head to the side.
"Everyone's made you out to be this total badass girl." Iris told me neutrally.
"So your saying I'm not badass?" I asked her jokingly.
"No, I don't. Your pretty nice, no matter what you do." Iris turned to go. "I'll catch ya later, Camilla." I watched her orange-haired self disappear into the crowd. This was going to be a long, a maybe a fun day.

I didn't really go out of my way to cause trouble. People just gave me prime oppurtunities to be cause trouble. Right after lunch, I had to report to the school library to serve my detention. I had to ask, like a newbie, where the library was from Iris. Once in the library, I noticed I wasn't the only one assigned a detention. There was a crying girl with a red cheek. Then there was a guy across from her with a black eye. A group of angry looking black-haired guys. A few preppy looking girls and Castiel. I went and sat by myself. The person at the front of the room stood. It was a bored looking man who was about forty.
"Okay, listen up. I don't really care what you do. Just don't leave, don't do anything inappropiate. Just serve your time like I have to too. Don't make things harder than they have to be." He sat back in his chair and pulled out a laptop and headphones. Once he put the headphones in, the room erupted into noise. more noise than I've ever heard in a library before. I pulled out my own headphones and started blasting my own music. I put my head down on the table and closed my eyes. I must've dozed off because I felt someone poke me awake. I looked up at the person. It was Castiel. He started talking and I held up a finger and pulled out one of my headphones.
"Sorry, but your going to have to repeat yourself." I told him as I paused my music and shoved my phone and headphones into my pocket.
"I said, that you've made a nice impression in a day." Castiel said sarcastically. I shrugged and half-smiled at him.
"Yeah, I should have people flocking just to be my friend." I said just as sarcastically. There were a few people milling about probably waiting for rides home or friends in clubs.
"And why would you say that?" He asked me, sarcasm dripping from his voice.
"Because I save people from burning buildings." I joked. He smirked.
"That would explain why Iris is brave enough to be your friend. But in all seriousness, why did you have a detention on your first day?" Castiel asked me, all sarcasm leaving his voice.
"I pulled this girl by the hair for calling my a whore." I told him like it was no big deal. His facial expression didn't change at all.
"Damn, so you're the girl Charlotte was talking about all day." He sighed. "That all makes sense, when I asked what the girl's name was she said she didn't know."
"Eh. What did you get a detention for?" I asked him.
"Skipped class." We both started to walk out of the library. Once outside I saw the same white haired guy from before come over to us.
"Hey, Castiel." The guy looked to me. "Oh, sorry, I'm Lysander."
"I'm Camilla. Nice to meet you." I said to him. He smiled a little. He was dressed like a guy from the Victorian Age. His eyes appeared to be two different colors, or was that the way the light was hitting them?
Well, we're gonna go, see ya." Castial gave a small wave as he walked away.
"It was very nice meeting you." Lysander told me before he walked away with Castiel. I waved and began walking in the opposite direction to my house.

"Camilla, did you get into any trouble at school today?" Aunt Danni asked me once I stepped through the door. Okay, this had spread faster than I though it would. I opened my mouth.
"A little. I just got a detention, but it's all good." I assured Aunt Danni.
"It's not 'all good'. Your first day and you get a detention? That's not going to do very good for your repuatation. You had a fresh start. And you've ruined it." My aunt was pissed. She never got pissed. She usually would brush things under the rug instead of dealing with them.
"I'm sorry, but I didn't want to get in trouble. It just kind of happened." I told her. She shook her head in frustration.
"Damn it, Camilla. You don't get it do you? Not only does what you do reflect on you, but it reflects on me because I'm taking care you. I'm not going to tolorate this kind of behavior. This is your warning, got me?" Aunt Danni went into the kitchen. "Now what do you want for dinner?" I was surprised by my aunt. I didn't think that she had a backbone, or would ever curse. I helped her make dinner and afterwards we ate while watching some cheesy game show. I retreated to my room to do my homework after dinner. I had a few assignments, mostly just writing and worksheets. Nothing too hard. I finished by ten thirty, maybe things wouldn't be that bad here.