Title: Pretending

Author: Jasmine Shigeru

Pairing: Angel/Buffy

Summary: Sometimes soul mates are not happy to be together, but stay together because there is comfort in something familiar.

Author's Note: I want to do a Buffy/Angel verse fic. This is my first. Let me know how I did.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series or the Angel series nor do I wish I do. This is just for my entertainment and whomever wishes to read it. I am not making any profit from this and do not care to for that matter.

Rating: T+

Category: Angst

Pretending

By: Jasmine Shigeru

It is funny how two people connect during hard times. They do not speak to each other for years nor do they see one another, but on one meeting they meld.

One lost her love not in the sense of physical being, but emotional. Thought dead to many, her love chose not to remain with her. He believed he held a second place in her heart. Whether his beliefs were true or not, she would never tell.

The other lost the love he will never truly know. Now words expressed the feeling, only a single kiss shared when the love was lost, no hope of return.

These beings come together with heavy hearts. One lost her love, because of her inability to love him completely and the other lost his love to death. Pain and suffering marred their hearts and tainted their souls.

They are soul mates, always meant to be one, but are not, not really. Not in a long time. So, now they dwell on the past and loves lost. Now they pretend.

HER.

Her nails raked the bare skin of his back, drawing blood as their bodies moved in the sensual dance of lovers. She moans and gasps and pleads for him not to stop. It is always this way, always this good. He was gentle lover. He never took her roughly. Not like the other one in her heart.

She missed that one. The aggression of her former lover. She missed the growling and the hands clawing at skin. She missed his frame, smaller than her present lover. She missed his crude words and the truth behind them.

Life wasn't fare, never to her. She had lost so much in a short period of time. Her innocence, her mother, a few friends. Hell, she'd lost her life twice. She's even lost loves. Several men had been in her short life. Each different influences, not none as great as the two with the souls they should not have had.

The first soul, she gave everything to, her heart and her body, only to have it all end in a cruel, tragic, drama filled way.

The second soul, she took out her anger on. He helped her through a hard time. He loved her. He took all of her emotional, physical, and verbal abuse, not without a fight, and still loved her, but he was gone now.

Now, all she had was the first soul. The one she was supposed to have always love.

End of her.

HIM.

He touched her soft skin and kissed her full lips. They tasted of honey, a flavor he would never forget and only associate with her. Her moans of pleasure sending him higher into heights he wasn't supposed to go. He loved her, not like he used to, but still it was love.

And it was safe.

It wasn't like the love of the other. The one who understood him completely. She knew who he was, what he was and yet, she still stayed with him and accepted him. She stayed until she died.

This one, the one in his arms. The love was different. A love based passion, lonely hearts, and death. The pain and the danger always pulling them apart and then bringing them back together again.

This one made him want to die, with or without her. He felt as he didn't belong on this earth any more. She made feel like an dark being.

The other made him want to live, even when she died. He knew he could not join her, not yet. She wouldn't want him to. She always hated it when he gave up.

He loved this one and had said so and as a reward she came back. They all come back. Except one, the other he loved completely, but never said. He was willing to let her go, but not she would never come back.

This one reached his heart, the soul mate. The other no longer, but the greatest love.

End of him.

The couple laid on a large bed in the middle of a dark room. They are one. She believing he is the only one to be with her and he believing she is not the only one to be with him. They pretend to be one, when they are not. Mostly, they both sleep during the day and fight during the night.

In the early dawn, before the first light of the sun, they return home to their bed and try to cling to something they both know is wrong, but don't want to let go. They both want loves that no longer desire or can be with them. They hold on to an old love that should have been forbidden in the past, that should forbidden now, and should be forbidden in the future.

Two separate beings, the Slayer and the first Vampire with a soul. They are tow trying to be one and they are praying for the day to never come when they have to face reality.

END