Notes: This is my first published dipcifica although slightly cliche but i'm all about cliche and feels. I will soon publish my second dipcifica fic which will be entitled 'Babba Boy' inspired by the memorial library girl and vikings fan story, This is also in Ao3
-This will be a College AU and Dipper and Pacifica are around 18-20 or so
-First chapter will only be a prologue and will not be a High School AU
-this will be short and sweet? just the first chapter of course
-feel free to leave comments, thoughts, suggestions, corrections and violent reactions (Which i do hope would be constructive criticism)
Also I'm looking for a beta reader on this one

And i'm more of a visual artist then a writer so don't judge.

And lastly if you're a Harry Potter fan please try reading my next gen fic 'Influx' (Scorose)


"I loved you!" He screamed, his usual awkward and dorky demeanor gone and replaced by a look of betrayal and disappointment, "I— I guess I was wrong." With every word he forced out, each betraying the pain and hurt he felt as he looked upon her with glazed, reddening eyes, her chest ached as her heart fought against the icy hand clenching inside like a vice until not even a breath escaped her trembling lips.

He wanted to trust her. He believed in her, that she wasn't just another snobby, rich Northwest who only cares about themselves but doing what she did to him…

He wasn't quite sure what to make of it now. He wanted to think that all the excuses she made of not being able to come when they were supposed to hang out were real, that it wasn't just a lie; but he wasn't that confident, not anymore.

The pain that he was feeling was caused by the love that he felt.

He had screamed the words he had so long wanted to say tenderly; but it was never so simple, was it?. He was even more furious with the fact that he knows he was lying. He still loves her. His heart hammered against his chest thinking of how much he wanted to say those words again and again to her, to see her smile when he did; but that never happened. It probably never would.

Instead, he had turned to leave but she grabbed his wrist, her hands unusually damp with sweat, quivering as she pleaded desperately, "Dipper… don't," He glanced back at her rueful face and looked away. "Don't make this any harder than it's supposed to be." He took his hand back and she instinctively hugged his waist preventing him to move further, staining his shirt with tears.

His eyebrows furrowed, "Pacifica…" her grip on him got tighter which made leaving harder. He hesitantly brought his hands to the ones that were hugging his waist and gave a light squeeze and Pacifica relaxed her arms. As soon as they were loose he took them away and her arms started to shake again. Her stomach dropped and she felt so weak. Her tears momentarily stopped as his warmth left and she watched his back leaving.

She sunk on her legs and the tears flowed freely again, she couldn't. She couldn't even stop staring at the place where he had been earlier; she was pathetic. After everything she had done to Dipper and his friends when they were twelve, he still accepted her and consistently believed in her, But now she's gone and killed the trust they'd built? Worst of all, she didn't even remember how it happened; all she does know is she fucked up.

Fucking up wasn't the norm for Pacifica Elise Northwest but for someone not used to fucking up, her life kind of was one long, continuous fuck-up. All those trophies, awards and money she has didn't really give the indication that her life was anything but sunshine and rainbows. What kind of family would hide as the only chances of survival for the rest of the population of their own home town rests in their hands? Her Father had even suggested on eating the butler when food runs out and don't get her started on the bells; what was she, a cow?

She shook her head, gasping for air in between sobs. Dipper was the one that helped her -him and her ridiculous sister, both of them were there for her- especially through the hard times when her family lost most of their fortune and all those oh-so-genuine friends of hers started getting busy. She was heartbreakingly emotionally dependent upon the Pines twins. How could she do this to him? To them?

When the loneliness became too much she transferred schools just to be with them. She remembered the next year when she apprehended the fact that she liked Dipper. She remembered frustratingly waiting a whole year for him to finally realize her feelings and she remembered when he said he kind of liked her too.

She remembered their first dates, their seconds, the third, the fourth, the fifth; she remembered all of their dates. She remembered their awkward first kiss. She remembered their conversations about anything and everything, the playful banter and the intellectual debates, and their midnight talks about how life is a bitch... and what a bitch she is, doing this to her.

She stopped crying by this time but her breathing was still heavy and uneven. She put up a small smile remembering his smile, his laugh, his adorable birthmark that he hates, she remembers him… and most of all she remembered the face he gave her when he left and she frowned.

Her frown stayed too; as the scenes around her kept changing but her feelings remained the same. Even if it was one of her last days in High School, she had planned a perfect week with Dipper and some had included his sister too. She took down the calendar that hung in her room that was filled with dipper's handwriting. She didn't want to throw it away, so she hid it instead. She saw him everywhere, like a mirage of the halcyon days. She saw him rummaging through her average sized vanity desk that was entirely occupied with beauty products, not bothering to ask why she has so many because he knows her. She saw him rolling around her bed, fixing her lights, enhancing her room with his dorky personality, placing CCTV cameras just in case something happens to her even though she teased him about wanting to see her change her clothes; she saw him and it was overwhelming.

But if she really needed a Dipper Detox, nothing would exist because every single fucking thing reminds her of him.

That was the truth, so since the unfortunate event of their fall out, she hurries back to her aunt's house before the stars show, otherwise the fucking Dipper would hang in the sky, rubbing salt in old wounds. Because every time she saw even the slightest image of the night sky, she would think of him and how she wasn't good enough. It's like Mother Nature laughing in her face, saying, 'Here go look at these pine trees, oh, don't forget about the fucking starry night too'.

People around her started to notice too; who wouldn't? She'd skipped two whole days of class. But when she came back, she did the one thing she was good at most; she put up a mask and acted as if there was nothing wrong when in fact it was the total opposite. She could even see Mabel's pitiful glances at her and she just smiled and waved but nothing more than that. Why is she even looking at her like that? Knowing what she did to Dipper, Mabel should look at her in disgust and shame; she knew she would.

She didn't attend any of the batch events either, the ones where you pour your hearts out and the ones where you get drunk and hammered, and she and Dipper avoided each other like the plague.

The worst of it all was graduation day. She thought he might at least give a glance at her or even someone beside her knowing that he would be actually looking at her through his peripherals. He didn't though; but she looked to him the entire time.

And it hurts. She wasn't sad that her Father and Mother did not make it, or even that her Aunt was busy, that she was all alone and the only ones taking photos are the school's paper and some hired photographers her Father sent. What hurts was when she had the courage to offer him her congratulations, he walked right past her, completely ignoring her as if she didn't exist and the feelings that she had when he pushed her arms from his waist came rushing back. Her stomach dropped again and her knees were weak and she felt as if she was going to drop.

She had to hold back all her pent up feelings, those awful vulnerabilities and weaknesses from gushing out then and there otherwise she might break entirely. It should be a happy day, after all she was the valedictorian; but that didn't mean much to her anymore, not when one of the most important things in her life was gone. The hand that she held out started shaking and she watched his retreating back; but this time she couldn't even try to stop him. The only occurrence that made her feel real that day was the hug she received from Mabel, from her friend.