TITLE: Do You Want Fries With That?
AUTHOR: Sheri Steeves
FEEDBACK: Please! E-mail sheristeeves at hotmail dot com. You know what to replace with what.
ARCHIVE: alt.tv.buffy-v-slayer.creative, fanfiction.net
SPOILERS: Based on potential spoilers for upcoming episodes of Season 6.
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy etc own all of this. I own nothing.
SUMMARY: Buffy's first day of work at Doublemeat Palace, and of course, some S/B goodness, else what's the point?
The scent of grease hung heavy in the air. The buzz of customers sitting in the eating area and the hiss and spit of the grill and deep fryer in the kitchen came through the door. With a sigh, Buffy put on the trademark hat, pulling her hair out through the opening in the back. Smoothing down the cheap polyester shirt with the DoubleMeat logo on the chest, she regarded her reflection in the dirty mirror of the employee's washroom. The bright red "TRAINEE" button stood out in sharp contrast against the green of her shirt.
"Puke green is so not my color."
"Summers, you ready yet? Get a move on. It's gonna get busy soon."
The harsh voice of the employee in charge of "showing her the ropes" came through the flimsy door.
Grabbing her backpack from the floor, Buffy exited the washroom into the employee's lounge. Stowing her backpack in the locker assigned to her, she turned to see her trainer, Matilda, waiting impatiently for her at the door to the kitchen area.
C'mon, Buffy chided herself silently, you've faced demons and vampires bigger than this girl. Why are you letting her scare you? But she knew why. She desperately needed this job if she wanted to keep Dawn and pay the bills on the house. This woman, the one with a permanent scowl on her face, lank dark hair and a build like a linebacker, had the power to take it away from her. Squaring her shoulders and walking over, Buffy decided that if this job didn't work out, it wasn't going to be for lack of trying on her part.
"Where do I start?"
********************
Hours later her feet were killing her, the smell of grease was making her nauseous and she would swear that the cash registers were possessed. The little buttons for the individual items kept moving on her. And if she had to say that stupid saying one more time... A look at the clock sent her spirits plummeting further. Still three hours to go. And then patrolling. Yay.
"Summers, get me a large Coke." Matilda barked at her from the next cash register as she moved off to fill the rest of her customer's order. The lunch rush was over and Matilda had the single customer who had just walked in.
Buffy turned to the drink dispenser. Grabbing a large cup from the holder, she scooped in the required amount of ice, placed the cup under the spout for Coke, and hit the button for large. When the cup was halfway full, the dispenser hiccuped, sputtered and stopped.
"It stopped," she called to her trainer, as the woman passed her with a wrapped burger and a paper cup of fries.
"Well, replace the canister. Take the empty off and go get a new one from the back."
Looking at the mess of attachments and canisters under the dispenser, Buffy located the one for Coke, and tried to recall what Matilda had shown her. Reaching under the dispenser, she unscrewed the hose. Just as it came off, she heard a hiss, and then was hit in the side of her face with sweet, sugary Coke syrup.
"It's what the ads say... always Coca-Cola." Buffy quipped. The sticky liquid ran into her hair, down the side of her face and onto her shirt. Wiping what she could of the stuff off of her face with some napkins, she quickly grabbed the empty canister and dragged it back to where they were stored. Picking up a new one to replace it with she made her way back to the pop machine. Setting the new canister in place, she hooked the hose onto the nozzle.
Standing up, she pressed the button for a large Coke again. After a few more sputters, the dispenser started to fill the cup again. And kept filling. As the pop overflowed and spilled down the sides, Matilda came over. Pushing Buffy to one side, she pressed the button again to stop the flow of liquid, and moved the cup to one side. Grabbing a fresh cup, she filled it with ice and Coke. As it filled, she looked at Buffy.
"See to your customer."
Meekly, Buffy turned back to her cash, trying to stuff her now sticky and straggly hair back under her hat.
"Hi! Welcome to Doublemeat Palace, where double the meat is... double... the... taste..."
The rest of the phrase trailed off as she saw her customer. She could feel all the blood leave her face, then rush back in embarrassment just as quickly. Her cheeks felt as if they were on fire.
"R-R-Riley." Shock and disbelief made her stammer and nervousness made her voice higher than usual. Oh, god, she thought to herself, do I sound that wigged?
To be fair, he looked just as shocked to see her as she was to see him. He looked the same. Just as wholesome, just as boy-next-door, just as handsome. His time in the south had darkened his tan and lightened his hair. He looked fit and healthy while she... she probably looked as bedraggled, tired and old as she felt. She was suddenly acutely conscious of the grease stains on her shirt, the Coke in her hair and how horrible she must look under the terrible fluorescent lights.
"Buffy."
There was a pause, then the sound of a throat being cleared from the cash register next to her.
"Um... can I take your order?"
"Yeah, uh... two DoubleCombo number 4's... hold the onions on one. You work here now?"
"Yeah. Just started. Thus the trainee button..." Her answer trailed off as she just looked at him. Did she sound as fake as she thought she did? Her mind whirled. What was he doing back in Sunnydale? Was the Initiative forming again? Another throat clearing from Matilda and she shook her head and hesitatingly punched in the order. It would have been too much to ask to be able to find the buttons just this once.
"What would you like to drink?"
"Oh, uh large." Riley, his attention focused on the doorway, turned back to her at her question.
"What type - Coke, orange, root beer..."
"Uh, orange please. Both drinks." Riley looked back again at the door.
"Your total is $12.27. So, what are you doing back in Sunnydale?" Buffy asked, striving to keep her voice level as she moved to the dispenser to get the drinks. From behind her, she heard Riley reply.
"Just cleaning up some loose ends here in town before I move back to Iowa."
Am I one of those loose ends? she asked herself as she put the lids on the cups and turned to set them on the tray. Looking up at him, she could only say, "Oh. Iowa. That's nice."
Taking the twenty-dollar bill he handed to her, she made his change. Handing it to him she let go too soon and dropped it on the counter. The coins spun and jangled as they both tried to catch them.
"Sorry, first day jitters." She said with a nervous grin, handing the quarter and dime she had managed to catch.
Behind him, another customer was approaching as a bell dinged, signaling that his combos were ready.
When she returned with them, the customer, an exotic-looking young woman dressed in the latest fashions sidled up next to Riley and entwined her arm with his.
"Did you get orange pop, honey?"
Riley lit up when he saw the woman, but when he looked back at Buffy he looked embarrassed and not a little uncomfortable. Clearing his throat nervously, Riley introduced them.
"Hey, Aiyia, this is Buffy. The, uh... the girl I told you about. We, ah... we went to college together."
We did a little more than that, Buffy thought to herself as she automatically made the appropriate polite replies. Now the two combos made sense. Riley reached up and took the tray off the counter, mentioning something about getting together later, but Buffy wasn't paying attention anymore. Her attention was transfixed on the third finger of Riley's left hand, and the shiny new gold band that rested there. The shiny new gold band that matched the one on Aiyia's left hand. For a moment Buffy was speechless. In her mind there was still a lot of things with Riley that had been left unsaid, unresolved. Now they would never be. She blurted out,
"You're married!"
Riley had the grace to look guilty, but even that couldn't quite hide the pride and love in his eyes when he looked at his wife. Aiyia, oblivious to the undercurrents between the other two, replied, gushing with happiness.
"Four months now, and already starting a family!" Aiyia set her hand over her still-flat abdomen protectively. "I can't wait to get to Iowa and settle down."
"That's... that's great..." Buffy pasted a smile on her face, wondering if it looked as fake as it felt.
"I...ah... I meant to tell you differently..." Riley stammered, standing there holding the tray of food like a protective shield.
"Hey, no worries." Buffy forced her voice to be light and happy. And suddenly she realized that she wasn't as angry, or bothered or jealous as she thought she would be. She looked at Aiyia, who was smiling up at Riley. Her love, her need for him was plain as an open book. Buffy realized that as embarrassed as Riley probably was about her finding out this way, he was also happy. He was needed. Aiyia needed him, loved him in a way she had never been able to, and would never be able to. This time as she smiled, it was a little less fake and a little more real.
"Congratulations you two. How long are you in town?"
"Just a few days to settle some things at the university, and get some of my stuff out of storage... maybe we can get together?"
"Sure. I mean if you have time. I'm sure you have a lot to do..."
"I'll call you." Riley started away, moving out of the path of another customer waiting to place his order.
"Yeah. Give me a call." Buffy watched as he and Aiyia made their way to a table. She knew he wouldn't call. Not now that she knew about him and Aiyia. That would have been his only reason for calling. Forcing thoughts of Riley to the back of her mind, she dredged up what she hoped was a smile and turned to the next customer.
"Hi! Welcome to Doublemeat Palace, where double the meat is double the taste. How can I help you?"
********************
"I told you, I don't want to play tonight. I worked all day..." The vampire disintegrated in a cloud of dust, "and I just want to go home now."
Buffy slid Mr. Pointy into her back pocket. Turning to pick up the backpack she had dropped to fight the vampire, she came face to face with Spike.
"Looking for this, Slayer?"
"Spike. What a surprise." She looked at the vampire, frustration, caution and weariness warring on her face as she took the pack from him. After today, she really wasn't up to any Spike and Buffy discussions. Turning from him she continued on her way home. With a feeling of resignation, she realized that Spike was following her. It would have been too much to ask for him to leave her alone.
"Nice hat, luv." Spike's voice broke the stillness.
With a groan, Buffy realized she was still wearing the hat from work. Ripping it off her head, she bent down and stuffed it into the pack. Her hair, no longer held up by the hat, fell down around her face as she looked back at him.
"You cut you hair." Spike's words were a statement, flat and cold. There was a pain in his blue eyes as if she had hurt him by cutting her hair. Defensively, Buffy reached up to her hair, running her fingers through the shortened strands. For a brief moment she wondered if maybe she had, then she reminded herself that she didn't care.
"Yeah, I decided I didn't like the way it bounced."
"So, what, you working there now?" The indifferent mask had settled over his face and the question was voiced in his usual sardonic tones.
"Yes, Spike, I'm working 'there' now. You know - that thing called a job, where they pay you money. Money for bills, money for groceries, money for clothes for Dawn..."
"Hold up Slayer. I was just askin'. Don't get so bloody defensive."
"Why am I even talking to you about this?" Buffy whirled away from Spike, staring off into the twilight of the cemetery.
"I'll tell you why, Slayer..." Spike stalked around in front off her. Placing his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look at him.
"I'll tell you why you're bloody well talkin' to me. It's cause I'm the only one you can talk to. Dawn, she's still just a kid, as much as she wants to be a grown up. Xander and Anya are too wrapped up in their upcoming nuptial bliss to notice anything but each other. Red? Well, Red's too involved in her own problems right now to see too much of anyone else's. And your Watcher - he left! I'm the only one left around. When you need to talk, when you just need to hit something, when you need someone to watch your back, I'm here. When are you going to get it? I'm the only one who stays."
Buffy stared into Spike's intent gaze a moment longer then broke free of his grasp and walked away from him. He was always so intense, so in-your- face, so, so... truthful. And that's what she hated most about him. His insight. His knack of seeing to the heart of things and his ability to reduce a complex situation to its bare minimum. And worst of all, he was usually, if not always, right.
Sitting down on the nearest gravestone, Buffy drew one knee up to her chin and wrapped her arms around her leg. She could still see Spike standing there, a silent figure in black. Turning her head away from him, she spoke.
"I saw Riley today. He's back in town for a few days. With his wife. Who's pregnant."
Dead silence met with her pronouncement, but she heard the swish of leather as Spike sat down on a nearby gravestone.
"It wasn't so much seeing Riley today that bothered me..." A scoff in the background was counterpoint to her voice.
"Fine, ok, it did bother me. Just... not how I expected it to. I had all these fantasies that he would come back, and we would get to finish things between us... but now I know they were just fantasies. I think we were finished before we started. I just didn't want to admit it. He was supposed to be my normal, everyday..."
"Boring..." Spike's voice broke into her monologue. By its tone, she could almost imagine his eyes rolling as he said it.
"Spike..." Buffy's voice was reproachful.
"What? He was!"
Knowing she would never be able to sway his opinion of Riley, she just ignored him and continued.
"For once I was going to have a regular relationship that had nothing Hellmouthy or otherworldly attached to it. Then I find out that he was part of the Initiative, and anything but normal. That was followed by the end of the Initiative and then he was normal... except he couldn't handle his being normal and my being..."
"The Slayer. The Chosen One..."
"Yeah."
"Could be worse, luv."
"How? How could getting rejected again be any worse?"
"Gee luv, I dunno." Spike's sarcastic voice was heavy with the double meaning intended. "How about never having him in the first place?"
Buffy sighed. It was really annoying when the peroxide pest was right. As bad as it had ended, she didn't regret Riley. She regretted how it had ended, but not the relationship itself.
The silence stretched between them. His remark had hit a little too close to the situation between them for her comfort. Wasn't that what she was doing? Constantly rejecting him each time she told him to go away? Sending him away before he could send her away. She buried the little pang of guilt over her behavior and forced her thoughts back to this afternoon at the restaurant.
"You know what really bothered me about seeing him?"
There was no answer for a moment and Buffy looked over to where Spike had been, only to find him standing behind her, his face hidden in shadows. She hadn't heard him move, but now he was close enough that she could smell his scent - the curious mixture of leather, tobacco and hair gel that was his alone.
"What, luv?" the question floated out in the night air, his voice low, almost as if he knew she needed to talk about this, but was afraid of what the answer would be.
"How not bothered I was. Sure I was jealous. Here he is all married and everything, so yeah, big time jealousy... Except I wasn't jealous of her. I was jealous of what they have. Of what they will have."
"A mess of squallin' little ones in a run-down shack somewhere in Redneck City with an overweight, naggin' wife and a welfare check every month?" There was a measure of relief in Spike's voice.
Despite herself, Buffy laughed at the image Spike's words brought to mind.
"No. Just the normal. Their love for each other, the family they'll have, the little house with a white picket fence..."
"Slayer, if you had a picket fence, you'd use the pickets to dust vamps... you'd never be happy with that."
"Never? And just how do you know that? How do you know what I want?"
"I've watched you fight, Slayer. Hell, I've fought you more times that I can count. For Captain Cardboard, chasing demons was a job. To you, it's a bloody way of life. It's part of you. It defines who you are. You are all that is Hellmouthy and otherworldly. You're the defender of those who live behind the bleedin' white picket fences. If you deny the Slayer in you, you deny who you are. You're just lookin' for love and happiness in the wrong places."
"Oh, what, I should look for it in you?"
"If you looked for it in me, yeah, I think you'd find it. No, I bloody well know you'd find it. You know it too, you just won't admit it."
"Spike, I'm not going into this now..." Buffy started to uncurl from her seat on the gravestone. Spike's next words stopped her.
"Look, Buffy, all I'm saying is stop trying to have what everyone else has. Their rules don't work in our world. For them, vampires and demons don't even exist. Don't be so certain that what everyone else has is what's right for you. What you're looking for might not come in the package you expect it to."
"Spike, " Buffy sighed wearily. "It's late. I'm tired. I told you before I wasn't going to talk about this tonight. I'm going home." Picking up her backpack she started towards home. His words had made her think though. She had tried to have a 'regular' relationship. The type that all the books and magazines and televisions shows all said was right. But maybe Spike was right about the rules not applying in her world. After all, other people didn't have to deal with vampires or demons or apocalypses on an almost daily basis in their world. Maybe all that really mattered was finding happiness, finding someone to trust and to share things with. She hadn't gone very far when she stopped. Maybe it was time to give a different package a chance. Without looking back, she called.
"Spike."
"What now, Slayer?" The blond vampire's voice was edged in frustration and anger.
"Walk me home?"
-FIN-
AUTHOR: Sheri Steeves
FEEDBACK: Please! E-mail sheristeeves at hotmail dot com. You know what to replace with what.
ARCHIVE: alt.tv.buffy-v-slayer.creative, fanfiction.net
SPOILERS: Based on potential spoilers for upcoming episodes of Season 6.
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy etc own all of this. I own nothing.
SUMMARY: Buffy's first day of work at Doublemeat Palace, and of course, some S/B goodness, else what's the point?
The scent of grease hung heavy in the air. The buzz of customers sitting in the eating area and the hiss and spit of the grill and deep fryer in the kitchen came through the door. With a sigh, Buffy put on the trademark hat, pulling her hair out through the opening in the back. Smoothing down the cheap polyester shirt with the DoubleMeat logo on the chest, she regarded her reflection in the dirty mirror of the employee's washroom. The bright red "TRAINEE" button stood out in sharp contrast against the green of her shirt.
"Puke green is so not my color."
"Summers, you ready yet? Get a move on. It's gonna get busy soon."
The harsh voice of the employee in charge of "showing her the ropes" came through the flimsy door.
Grabbing her backpack from the floor, Buffy exited the washroom into the employee's lounge. Stowing her backpack in the locker assigned to her, she turned to see her trainer, Matilda, waiting impatiently for her at the door to the kitchen area.
C'mon, Buffy chided herself silently, you've faced demons and vampires bigger than this girl. Why are you letting her scare you? But she knew why. She desperately needed this job if she wanted to keep Dawn and pay the bills on the house. This woman, the one with a permanent scowl on her face, lank dark hair and a build like a linebacker, had the power to take it away from her. Squaring her shoulders and walking over, Buffy decided that if this job didn't work out, it wasn't going to be for lack of trying on her part.
"Where do I start?"
********************
Hours later her feet were killing her, the smell of grease was making her nauseous and she would swear that the cash registers were possessed. The little buttons for the individual items kept moving on her. And if she had to say that stupid saying one more time... A look at the clock sent her spirits plummeting further. Still three hours to go. And then patrolling. Yay.
"Summers, get me a large Coke." Matilda barked at her from the next cash register as she moved off to fill the rest of her customer's order. The lunch rush was over and Matilda had the single customer who had just walked in.
Buffy turned to the drink dispenser. Grabbing a large cup from the holder, she scooped in the required amount of ice, placed the cup under the spout for Coke, and hit the button for large. When the cup was halfway full, the dispenser hiccuped, sputtered and stopped.
"It stopped," she called to her trainer, as the woman passed her with a wrapped burger and a paper cup of fries.
"Well, replace the canister. Take the empty off and go get a new one from the back."
Looking at the mess of attachments and canisters under the dispenser, Buffy located the one for Coke, and tried to recall what Matilda had shown her. Reaching under the dispenser, she unscrewed the hose. Just as it came off, she heard a hiss, and then was hit in the side of her face with sweet, sugary Coke syrup.
"It's what the ads say... always Coca-Cola." Buffy quipped. The sticky liquid ran into her hair, down the side of her face and onto her shirt. Wiping what she could of the stuff off of her face with some napkins, she quickly grabbed the empty canister and dragged it back to where they were stored. Picking up a new one to replace it with she made her way back to the pop machine. Setting the new canister in place, she hooked the hose onto the nozzle.
Standing up, she pressed the button for a large Coke again. After a few more sputters, the dispenser started to fill the cup again. And kept filling. As the pop overflowed and spilled down the sides, Matilda came over. Pushing Buffy to one side, she pressed the button again to stop the flow of liquid, and moved the cup to one side. Grabbing a fresh cup, she filled it with ice and Coke. As it filled, she looked at Buffy.
"See to your customer."
Meekly, Buffy turned back to her cash, trying to stuff her now sticky and straggly hair back under her hat.
"Hi! Welcome to Doublemeat Palace, where double the meat is... double... the... taste..."
The rest of the phrase trailed off as she saw her customer. She could feel all the blood leave her face, then rush back in embarrassment just as quickly. Her cheeks felt as if they were on fire.
"R-R-Riley." Shock and disbelief made her stammer and nervousness made her voice higher than usual. Oh, god, she thought to herself, do I sound that wigged?
To be fair, he looked just as shocked to see her as she was to see him. He looked the same. Just as wholesome, just as boy-next-door, just as handsome. His time in the south had darkened his tan and lightened his hair. He looked fit and healthy while she... she probably looked as bedraggled, tired and old as she felt. She was suddenly acutely conscious of the grease stains on her shirt, the Coke in her hair and how horrible she must look under the terrible fluorescent lights.
"Buffy."
There was a pause, then the sound of a throat being cleared from the cash register next to her.
"Um... can I take your order?"
"Yeah, uh... two DoubleCombo number 4's... hold the onions on one. You work here now?"
"Yeah. Just started. Thus the trainee button..." Her answer trailed off as she just looked at him. Did she sound as fake as she thought she did? Her mind whirled. What was he doing back in Sunnydale? Was the Initiative forming again? Another throat clearing from Matilda and she shook her head and hesitatingly punched in the order. It would have been too much to ask to be able to find the buttons just this once.
"What would you like to drink?"
"Oh, uh large." Riley, his attention focused on the doorway, turned back to her at her question.
"What type - Coke, orange, root beer..."
"Uh, orange please. Both drinks." Riley looked back again at the door.
"Your total is $12.27. So, what are you doing back in Sunnydale?" Buffy asked, striving to keep her voice level as she moved to the dispenser to get the drinks. From behind her, she heard Riley reply.
"Just cleaning up some loose ends here in town before I move back to Iowa."
Am I one of those loose ends? she asked herself as she put the lids on the cups and turned to set them on the tray. Looking up at him, she could only say, "Oh. Iowa. That's nice."
Taking the twenty-dollar bill he handed to her, she made his change. Handing it to him she let go too soon and dropped it on the counter. The coins spun and jangled as they both tried to catch them.
"Sorry, first day jitters." She said with a nervous grin, handing the quarter and dime she had managed to catch.
Behind him, another customer was approaching as a bell dinged, signaling that his combos were ready.
When she returned with them, the customer, an exotic-looking young woman dressed in the latest fashions sidled up next to Riley and entwined her arm with his.
"Did you get orange pop, honey?"
Riley lit up when he saw the woman, but when he looked back at Buffy he looked embarrassed and not a little uncomfortable. Clearing his throat nervously, Riley introduced them.
"Hey, Aiyia, this is Buffy. The, uh... the girl I told you about. We, ah... we went to college together."
We did a little more than that, Buffy thought to herself as she automatically made the appropriate polite replies. Now the two combos made sense. Riley reached up and took the tray off the counter, mentioning something about getting together later, but Buffy wasn't paying attention anymore. Her attention was transfixed on the third finger of Riley's left hand, and the shiny new gold band that rested there. The shiny new gold band that matched the one on Aiyia's left hand. For a moment Buffy was speechless. In her mind there was still a lot of things with Riley that had been left unsaid, unresolved. Now they would never be. She blurted out,
"You're married!"
Riley had the grace to look guilty, but even that couldn't quite hide the pride and love in his eyes when he looked at his wife. Aiyia, oblivious to the undercurrents between the other two, replied, gushing with happiness.
"Four months now, and already starting a family!" Aiyia set her hand over her still-flat abdomen protectively. "I can't wait to get to Iowa and settle down."
"That's... that's great..." Buffy pasted a smile on her face, wondering if it looked as fake as it felt.
"I...ah... I meant to tell you differently..." Riley stammered, standing there holding the tray of food like a protective shield.
"Hey, no worries." Buffy forced her voice to be light and happy. And suddenly she realized that she wasn't as angry, or bothered or jealous as she thought she would be. She looked at Aiyia, who was smiling up at Riley. Her love, her need for him was plain as an open book. Buffy realized that as embarrassed as Riley probably was about her finding out this way, he was also happy. He was needed. Aiyia needed him, loved him in a way she had never been able to, and would never be able to. This time as she smiled, it was a little less fake and a little more real.
"Congratulations you two. How long are you in town?"
"Just a few days to settle some things at the university, and get some of my stuff out of storage... maybe we can get together?"
"Sure. I mean if you have time. I'm sure you have a lot to do..."
"I'll call you." Riley started away, moving out of the path of another customer waiting to place his order.
"Yeah. Give me a call." Buffy watched as he and Aiyia made their way to a table. She knew he wouldn't call. Not now that she knew about him and Aiyia. That would have been his only reason for calling. Forcing thoughts of Riley to the back of her mind, she dredged up what she hoped was a smile and turned to the next customer.
"Hi! Welcome to Doublemeat Palace, where double the meat is double the taste. How can I help you?"
********************
"I told you, I don't want to play tonight. I worked all day..." The vampire disintegrated in a cloud of dust, "and I just want to go home now."
Buffy slid Mr. Pointy into her back pocket. Turning to pick up the backpack she had dropped to fight the vampire, she came face to face with Spike.
"Looking for this, Slayer?"
"Spike. What a surprise." She looked at the vampire, frustration, caution and weariness warring on her face as she took the pack from him. After today, she really wasn't up to any Spike and Buffy discussions. Turning from him she continued on her way home. With a feeling of resignation, she realized that Spike was following her. It would have been too much to ask for him to leave her alone.
"Nice hat, luv." Spike's voice broke the stillness.
With a groan, Buffy realized she was still wearing the hat from work. Ripping it off her head, she bent down and stuffed it into the pack. Her hair, no longer held up by the hat, fell down around her face as she looked back at him.
"You cut you hair." Spike's words were a statement, flat and cold. There was a pain in his blue eyes as if she had hurt him by cutting her hair. Defensively, Buffy reached up to her hair, running her fingers through the shortened strands. For a brief moment she wondered if maybe she had, then she reminded herself that she didn't care.
"Yeah, I decided I didn't like the way it bounced."
"So, what, you working there now?" The indifferent mask had settled over his face and the question was voiced in his usual sardonic tones.
"Yes, Spike, I'm working 'there' now. You know - that thing called a job, where they pay you money. Money for bills, money for groceries, money for clothes for Dawn..."
"Hold up Slayer. I was just askin'. Don't get so bloody defensive."
"Why am I even talking to you about this?" Buffy whirled away from Spike, staring off into the twilight of the cemetery.
"I'll tell you why, Slayer..." Spike stalked around in front off her. Placing his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look at him.
"I'll tell you why you're bloody well talkin' to me. It's cause I'm the only one you can talk to. Dawn, she's still just a kid, as much as she wants to be a grown up. Xander and Anya are too wrapped up in their upcoming nuptial bliss to notice anything but each other. Red? Well, Red's too involved in her own problems right now to see too much of anyone else's. And your Watcher - he left! I'm the only one left around. When you need to talk, when you just need to hit something, when you need someone to watch your back, I'm here. When are you going to get it? I'm the only one who stays."
Buffy stared into Spike's intent gaze a moment longer then broke free of his grasp and walked away from him. He was always so intense, so in-your- face, so, so... truthful. And that's what she hated most about him. His insight. His knack of seeing to the heart of things and his ability to reduce a complex situation to its bare minimum. And worst of all, he was usually, if not always, right.
Sitting down on the nearest gravestone, Buffy drew one knee up to her chin and wrapped her arms around her leg. She could still see Spike standing there, a silent figure in black. Turning her head away from him, she spoke.
"I saw Riley today. He's back in town for a few days. With his wife. Who's pregnant."
Dead silence met with her pronouncement, but she heard the swish of leather as Spike sat down on a nearby gravestone.
"It wasn't so much seeing Riley today that bothered me..." A scoff in the background was counterpoint to her voice.
"Fine, ok, it did bother me. Just... not how I expected it to. I had all these fantasies that he would come back, and we would get to finish things between us... but now I know they were just fantasies. I think we were finished before we started. I just didn't want to admit it. He was supposed to be my normal, everyday..."
"Boring..." Spike's voice broke into her monologue. By its tone, she could almost imagine his eyes rolling as he said it.
"Spike..." Buffy's voice was reproachful.
"What? He was!"
Knowing she would never be able to sway his opinion of Riley, she just ignored him and continued.
"For once I was going to have a regular relationship that had nothing Hellmouthy or otherworldly attached to it. Then I find out that he was part of the Initiative, and anything but normal. That was followed by the end of the Initiative and then he was normal... except he couldn't handle his being normal and my being..."
"The Slayer. The Chosen One..."
"Yeah."
"Could be worse, luv."
"How? How could getting rejected again be any worse?"
"Gee luv, I dunno." Spike's sarcastic voice was heavy with the double meaning intended. "How about never having him in the first place?"
Buffy sighed. It was really annoying when the peroxide pest was right. As bad as it had ended, she didn't regret Riley. She regretted how it had ended, but not the relationship itself.
The silence stretched between them. His remark had hit a little too close to the situation between them for her comfort. Wasn't that what she was doing? Constantly rejecting him each time she told him to go away? Sending him away before he could send her away. She buried the little pang of guilt over her behavior and forced her thoughts back to this afternoon at the restaurant.
"You know what really bothered me about seeing him?"
There was no answer for a moment and Buffy looked over to where Spike had been, only to find him standing behind her, his face hidden in shadows. She hadn't heard him move, but now he was close enough that she could smell his scent - the curious mixture of leather, tobacco and hair gel that was his alone.
"What, luv?" the question floated out in the night air, his voice low, almost as if he knew she needed to talk about this, but was afraid of what the answer would be.
"How not bothered I was. Sure I was jealous. Here he is all married and everything, so yeah, big time jealousy... Except I wasn't jealous of her. I was jealous of what they have. Of what they will have."
"A mess of squallin' little ones in a run-down shack somewhere in Redneck City with an overweight, naggin' wife and a welfare check every month?" There was a measure of relief in Spike's voice.
Despite herself, Buffy laughed at the image Spike's words brought to mind.
"No. Just the normal. Their love for each other, the family they'll have, the little house with a white picket fence..."
"Slayer, if you had a picket fence, you'd use the pickets to dust vamps... you'd never be happy with that."
"Never? And just how do you know that? How do you know what I want?"
"I've watched you fight, Slayer. Hell, I've fought you more times that I can count. For Captain Cardboard, chasing demons was a job. To you, it's a bloody way of life. It's part of you. It defines who you are. You are all that is Hellmouthy and otherworldly. You're the defender of those who live behind the bleedin' white picket fences. If you deny the Slayer in you, you deny who you are. You're just lookin' for love and happiness in the wrong places."
"Oh, what, I should look for it in you?"
"If you looked for it in me, yeah, I think you'd find it. No, I bloody well know you'd find it. You know it too, you just won't admit it."
"Spike, I'm not going into this now..." Buffy started to uncurl from her seat on the gravestone. Spike's next words stopped her.
"Look, Buffy, all I'm saying is stop trying to have what everyone else has. Their rules don't work in our world. For them, vampires and demons don't even exist. Don't be so certain that what everyone else has is what's right for you. What you're looking for might not come in the package you expect it to."
"Spike, " Buffy sighed wearily. "It's late. I'm tired. I told you before I wasn't going to talk about this tonight. I'm going home." Picking up her backpack she started towards home. His words had made her think though. She had tried to have a 'regular' relationship. The type that all the books and magazines and televisions shows all said was right. But maybe Spike was right about the rules not applying in her world. After all, other people didn't have to deal with vampires or demons or apocalypses on an almost daily basis in their world. Maybe all that really mattered was finding happiness, finding someone to trust and to share things with. She hadn't gone very far when she stopped. Maybe it was time to give a different package a chance. Without looking back, she called.
"Spike."
"What now, Slayer?" The blond vampire's voice was edged in frustration and anger.
"Walk me home?"
-FIN-
