1This is the price I pay for watching The Ant Bully just because Zach Tyler Eisen is in it. .
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar. If I did, I wouldn't have blindly offered the show to Nickelodeon.
WARNING: Contains disturbing images and swearing. Read at your own risk!
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After leaving the dead weight- I mean The Duke, Teo, and Haru at the Western Air Temple, Aang and his friends decided to fly back to the Fire Nation to plan for their next move. Their first stop was a small, deserted island off the coast of the Fire Nation.
"This looks like a safe place." Aang announced. "Perfect for Firebending training. There's not much to burn here."
"Except for random small piles of dirt." Sokka commented.
Zuko went to inspect one. "They're ant hills. Yeesh, no wonder this place is deserted."
"Well, it's a safe place otherwise." Katara said. "Let's set up camp and get food."
The group headed to a clearing and set up camp. Toph sighed in boredom.
"God, I miss the adventures." She said as she lay on her back.
"Yeah, they can be fun." Sokka replied as he sharpened his boomerang.
Katara stood up. "I'm going to practice my waterbending." She headed off for the pond.
Meanwhile, Zuko and Aang were training in firebending.
"Now...there are ant hills all over the place, so be careful not to land on one or burn one." Zuko instructed.
"Why? They're freaking bugs! They won't care. They can just rebuild their home." Aang rolled his eyes.
Zuko sighed and shook his head. "And you call yourself a nature lover. You should know by now that all living creatures have feelings. I learned that the hard way when my cousin pissed off an ant colony about ten years ago."
Aang nodded, slightly uninterested. "Right. So, what are we learning today?"
"I call this: the double fire whip." Zuko created two fire whips. "Katara kind of inspired me with her water whip."
Aang smiled. "Nice."
Aang concentrated and formed two fire whips on the first try. Zuko was impressed.
"Good job!" Zuko exclaimed. "Now carefully wave them around."
Aang obeyed and let the whip vanish. "You know, I think I can master firebending by the time I have to face the Fire Lord."
Zuko smiled. "Me too."
Aang nodded and accidentally tripped over a log, backwards.
Splat.
Zuko gasped and hurried forwards to help Aang up. Zuko's eyes widened in horror as he realized...
"Aah! Aang! You landed in an ant hill!" Zuko exclaimed.
Aang stood up. "Zuko, stop being dramatic. It's fi..."
Something was tickling Aang's legs. He giggled. "Zuko, stop tickling me."
"I'm not touching you!" Zuko responded.
Aang laughed more. He looked down his pants and screamed. "ANTS IN MY PANTS! AAAH! GET THEM OFF ME!"
Aang jumped around and tore his pants off. Ants were crawling all over his legs. He screamed and pulled off his shirt. Ants were crawling all over his body. "Underwear. They're in my underwear! Zuko, do something!"
Zuko flinched as Aang tore off his underwear. "Okay, calm down! They won't bite you as long as you stay still. I'll get some help. Just stay still."
Aang whimpered. "They tickle.."
"Don't think about it, Aang. These ants are fire ants- poisonous. Do. Not. Move. I'll be back with help." Zuko ran towards the vcamp. "SOKKA! TOPH! HELP!"
Sokka and Toph stood up as Zuko ran to them.
"What's wrong? Where's Aang?" Sokka asked.
"Aang pissed off an ant colony, now they're crawling all over him! We need to gather as much food as we can so we can drive those ants away from Aang before they bite him!"
"But ants are nonpoisonous." Toph stated.
"Not fire ants." Zuko said simply.
Toph raised her eyebrows. "Oh my God."
XXX
Aang tried extremely hard to stand still. The ants were crawling everywhere. His face, his arms, his stomach, his armpits, and even places that even he didn't like to touch. The ants were tickling...all he could do was cry and whimper. Aang felt tears stream down his cheeks. He really hoped Zuko had an idea of how to get those ants off him.
XXX
The trio hurried to collect as much fruit as hey could carry and ran to where Aang was. Ants were covering Aang's entire body now. Aang was whimpering and crying.
"Hang in there, Aang." Zuko said calmly. "Now...Sokka, Toph, stand aside. Oh, and hold Katara back if she comes."
"Yeah, that's probably a good idea." Toph chuckled.
"Talk about being in enemy territory." Sokka said sarcastically.
Zuko grabbed some ants off of Aang's body and crushed them. Zuko threw the dead ants at Aang's body. "Yoo-hoo, ants! I'm coming to eat you!" He grabbed more ants and crushed them.
"Zuko, it's not working!" Exclaimed Toph.
"What's not working?" Sokka and Toph jumped and turned around to see Katara. "Um...well..."
Katara gasped when she saw Aang. "Aang!" She pulled out her water whip and aimed it at her friend.
"KATARA! NO!" Zuko, Toph, and Sokka screamed. At the same time, Aang couldn't take it anymore.
"AAH! THEY'RE TICKLING MY PENIS!" Aang jumped and slammed his hands down on his crotch.
Crunch.
The foursome cringed as the ants crawled off of the airbender. Aang whimpered once and fell over on his back, unconscious.
"Aang!" Katara exclaimed. She knelt besides Aang and stood up. "Zuko, this is all your fault!"
"Hey, none of this would've happened if Aang hadn't ignored me and fell on a frigging ant hill!" Zuko shot back.
"Guys, stop it." Toph ordered. "Katara, it is Aang's fault. Zuko was trying to help us. Now we need to get out of here."
"On it!" Sokka pulled the bison whistle out of Aang's pants pocket and blew on it.
Appa landed behind Sokka. Toph and Sokka climbed on Appa. Zuko started to pick Aang up. Katara swatted Zuko's hand away.
"I'm perfectly capable of carrying him on Appa, thanks." She picked up Aang and held back a grunt. Katra slowly made her way to Appa. She climbed up the tail. Aang was starting to slip from Katara's fingers. "No!" Katara stood on Appa's tail and pulled Aang up.
Zuko sighed and reached over to pull Aang onto the saddle. Katara glared at him as she climbed up.
"Yip yip." Sokka commanded. Appa soared into the sky. Katara went to work on healing Aang.
"You know, you could've warned us that that island was infested by Avatar-hungry ants, Zuko." Katara glared at the firebender.
"How the hell was I supposed to know?" Zuko asked. "Just because I live in the Fire Nation doesn't mean I know of every freaking island!"
"He has a point." Toph replied.
Katara glared at Toph and continued working on Aang. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you."
"What would you have done?" Toph asked. "Zuko told us Aang freaking tripped over a log and fell into an ant hill."
"I could've bloodbended those little bloodsuckers." Katara responded.
"Technically, they don't suck blood." uko stated.
"Whatever!" Katara yelled, irritated. "We shouldn't have gone to that island in the first place!"
"No shit!" Toph commented.
Aang groaned in pain. "Pain..."
"It's okay, Aang. You're safe. I'm healing you." Katara said soothingly.
Zuko sighed with relief. "Well, at least he's not swearing. When my cousin got attacked by pissed-off ants, he screamed swear words until my mother hurried me and Azula ou of the room,."
"Oh...GAH! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?! AAH!" Aang screamed and jumped up. "I'M ON FIRE!"
Both Zuko and Katara pulled Aang down. "Aang, calm down! You're not on fire. It's the stings from the ants."
Aang painfully lay back down. "Ooooh, God, it hurts!"
"Nice .lungs..." Toph commented.
Katara managed to heal every part of Ang's body. "Are you okay now?"
Aang sniffed and whimpered. "No."
"What else hurts?" Katara asked. Aang pointed to his crotch. Her eyes widened. "Ohhhhh no! There is no way I am touching-"
Aang whined and cried. Katara sighed and gave in. Zuko caught Aang's eye. Aang winked at Zuko. The former prince snickered and covered it up by coughing.
"Katara...?" Aang asked.
"Yes?"
"Ants suck." Aang said in a deadpan.
"Yeah, they do." Katara replied., She looked at Zuko and Toph. "And if either of you tell anyone I touched Aang's penis, I will kill you!"
"Deal." They both said in unison.
"Now...where are my clothes?"Aang asked.
Zuko and Katara stared at each other in horror. Aang's clothes were on the island along with the rest of their stuff. Aang hugged his knees and screamed.
Zuko winced. "Nice lungs..."
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Um...yeah...I'll go work on something less random now... .
