az: Because the leftover muse from Vigil reared its long neck. And it insisted to have a continuation. Writing a Reveal!muse was interesting, eh? Though somehow this suddenly turned into some crack fic I don't even know how that happens.


Secrets

Written by Izzu alias honou-no-izumi

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Stray fingers brushed the side of his head as that felt welcoming. He barely remembered when was the last time he had received that kind of gesture. Though mostly that had came from his father, cold and unbending and unreasonable at times; but he knew that his late father had loved him so much. He missed his father's touch. Gwen occasionally did similar gestures like this as well... though he preferred her not doing that so often. It made him feel as if he was back to being the child he used to be, but he was king now and such behaviours were unbecoming. Still, it was a nice feeling... being loved.

Had his mother not died after giving birth to him, would her touch be something like this? Few times he had watched Merlin and Hunith from afar and had a glimpse of their private moments. Occasionally he felt envy at Merlin.

Merlin...

Arthur's eyes snapped open as that sensation on his head remained. He blinked. No, it was not a dream. But he could not feel Gwen; or anyone else spare Merlin, inside this small room. And even if there were... it would be such an odd angle—but that should mean...!

Arthur shot up to his seat as he swayed a bit due to lying on the side of his head for too long. He shook his head before turning towards the person lying on the bed.

"Merlin! You woke up!" he gasped, as the frail-looking sor—man smiled at him weakly. Suddenly, all the weight he was feeling for these few days lightened tremendously.

"You made it... I thought you're going to die!" he exclaimed again before Merlin gave him an odd look, probably starting to recall the events of the past few days.

"Well, for now. I don't think there was any chance that you didn't remember... that time..."

Arthur hastily placed a finger on his—former?—friend's lips before speaking.

"Don't. Save that for another day..." he said before burying his face on the thin mattress on Merlin's bed, face just inches from Merlin's neck. "I'm tired... and sleepy. Right now I'm only relieved that you're not dead and not wanting to care about anything else for the moment. Can we pretend that what I saw the other day did not happen? At least for a few days. Let me believe that my old servant and friend was still the same person as I used to know him—"

Merlin gave Arthur a peculiar look.

"I am... still the same person you know, Arthur..."

"—that clumsy fool that I'm familiar of and not this stranger who had magic all these times..."

Merlin felt something painfully sharp on his chest as he heard that bit. It definitely not going to be any easier for them from now on...

"... just, give me time."

Time... huh? He could do that. Seeing as Arthur have not killed him yet must mean he was at a lost over this situation as well.

"You needed time... eh? Guess I shouldn't be forcing you to accept who I am right now. Seeing that it's my neck I'm risking still," he said before Arthur clobbered him half-heartedly on the chest. He coughed out in pain—the nerve of Arthur to suddenly hit him!—before sighing. "That aside, if you're so sleepy... go back to your own sleeping chambers, you dollop-head. Gwen would be lonely by herself."

Merlin could feel Arthur's grip on his shoulder tightened. Well, they might not have any more chance to tease each other like this in the future again so why not pretend everything was still the way it used to? And from the way Arthur gripped his shoulder, it did seemed as if he needed that as well.

"She'd understand. Not like I have to spend every nights in her chambers anyhow. I might as well sleep in my own chambers, alone by myself. Won't make a difference, regardless. I almost lost a very dear friend for your information and I have all the right to stay by his side for as long as possible even after I know that he managed to survive."

Merlin snorted. "I feel honoured. Not sure if I should be glad that you still regarded me as your friend—"

"Merlin shut up! Don't make me think!" Merlin let out an unmanly giggle as he could barely feel Arthur already falling asleep by his side. He sighed as he turned his eyes towards the ceiling. Going back to sleep again would be hard. Finally that time when Arthur finally learnt of his secret arrived and he was not sure of what going to happen next. Things might not be able to return to the way they used to...

Merlin frowned at the thought of Arthur pushing him away; banishing him for lying about his identity... or worse, being executed like those other unfortunate innocents that had been killed during Uther's reign...

The very thought of it scared him. Even more if it was Arthur doing all those things to him. He could not bear it... he had grown so attached to Arthur all these years serving as his manservant, that kind of cruel fate—Arthur did not deserve that. To inflict such pain onto Arthur... to make him kill his own friend...

Merlin sighed. Sleep might be a bit hard for him to do now. Yet surprisingly, he did fall asleep as Arthur's soft breath brushing his cheek lulled him into a peaceful slumber.

xxx

It had been almost a week since that night, and Merlin mostly recovered his strength from the injury he sustained. Yet Arthur remained distant towards him as if reluctant to approach the topic. Even when he gradually resumed his former duties—Arthur still insisted on that for some reason—Merlin found it awkward to try raising the topic again.

No one else knew that he had used magic the other day, only that he had gotten hurt while trying to protect Arthur; who had been lured away from the protection of his loyal knight into a trap.

Now that he had time to gather his thoughts, he felt that he should have suspected that there was something amiss. During the regular patrol he was in while accompanying Arthur, the forest area had suddenly grew unnaturally foggy. While that should not have easily shaken the Knights of Camelot, the voices that suddenly rang out all around them; seemingly coming from nowhere amidst the thick fog, was enough to cause confusion to the party. It had been chaotic... and confusing, the voices had alarmed the horses to throw their riders off from their mounts; in that everyone had scattered blindly around, either to attempt to find each other... to find their escaped steed, or to evade being trampled or attacked by unseen enemies.

He panicked when he lost sight of Arthur—belatedly realizing the true aim of the attack, to take down Arthur before aiming for Camelot—to the point that he had considered using his magic at the risk of being found out. He had tried calling out to Gwaine and the other knights but for some reason, they only end up straying even further from each other. Hearing the occasionally cries of distress, it seemed even they had their own troubles to worry about. He finally decided to risk it after all while keeping his voice low, using his magic to lift the fog slightly to allow him to see his surroundings a little bit clearer in order to look for Arthur. He almost despaired before noticing a glimpse of Morgana and arriving at the nick of time to find Arthur being cornered. Arthur still held Excalibur in hand, by which he was glad. He could not imagine what would happen should Morgana acquired it.

Even still, Morgana had almost got Arthur cornered towards the edge of the cliff, that could not be good. He watched Arthur clashed swords against Morgana worriedly as he made his way towards them. Noticing the overlooking branch above them, he cast a spell to let the branch crash down towards Morgana. The ruse almost worked in allowing Arthur chance to back away from the cliff but Morgana tactfully cast another blocking spell towards Arthur as she noticed the movement. He had gasped in alarm as Arthur was thrown aback, Excalibur flying away from his grasp.

He had immediately summoned for Kilgharrah before using his magic to recall Excalibur into his hand.

"It seemed your luck had ran out... brother. Prepare to die!"

He remembered how Morgana had laughed at Arthur as he hastily ran towards them. As Morgana chanted her fiery spell towards Arthur, he had quickly pushed Arthur aside before taking out Excalibur to block the attack. The sword barely diverted the attack as he bore the full brunt of it. It was reckless of him but it was so sudden that he could barely thought up of a spell to counter it.

Merlin could still remember how painful his whole body had been then. But Morgana was still standing and he would not risk Arthur's safety should he collapsed so soon. That was why he had used his magic to strike Morgana. He never thought that doing that in that current state would lead to the spell being too powerful. As Morgana was thrown away from his attack, he barely remembered the sensation of falling... and Arthur calling out to him.

Merlin snorted to himself. He never thought he would have survived that. Though right now...

Merlin hesitated to knock on Arthur's chambers before the door suddenly opened to reveal the man himself.

xxx

"Merlin..."

Said man continued behaving distractedly as he quietly did the usual chores inside the room. Arthur frowned at him. He had been planning to start another round of lecture about how Merlin was late again—it was rare for Arthur to get up so early in the morning without help—but looking at Merlin at the moment, he had not the heart to do it. The unresolved issue of the last few nights must have been weighing on Merlin's shoulders as much as his, but Arthur could not find the words to try to talk about it with Merlin. Guess he was partially at fault for prolonging this awkwardness between them.

It had been too long anyhow, even the knights and other servants started to notice that there was something wrong between them. Before the matter started to get complicated, better for them to talk this out between themselves in order to find the best solution to solve this problem.

When Merlin was still unconscious, he had a talk with Gaius. The old man had been very reluctant to talk about it but after convincing him that he would not punish Merlin rashly, Gaius finally let up on him. It was hard for him to fully understand the weight of the situation but perhaps once Merlin was awake, maybe they could find a way to make things work. Perhaps hearing the truth from Merlin himself would help him to properly understand what was happening.

It hurt to think that Merlin had been hiding a big secret from him for so long, but it hurt even more to see Merlin being scared of him. It was just too strange. He expected that from the other servants in the castle... but not Merlin. Not his Merlin. It hurt to think that after all they have gone through in the past, Merlin would not trust him with his secret. Though... he could understand why Merlin would be wary of him. He had not been shy on showing his dislike over anything magic. But still...

"Merlin."

It was either he was being ignored... or that Merlin was so nervous that he barely noticed his name being called. Arthur glanced down to see Merlin's hands shaking as he gathered the empty plates and silver on his table. Was he that intimidating now? With all the magic that Merlin has, why should he be so afraid of a magic-less Arthur?

Without thinking, Arthur grabbed Merlin towards his bed... as the man gasped in surprise and the silver dropped to the floor, forgotten. Merlin felt his heart thumping wildly as Arthur sat on the bed, right beside him. Oddly, no one took notice of the commotion but that was probably because they were so used to Merlin's clumsiness...

Arthur stared silently at his old friend, ignoring the alarmed look the other was giving him.

"Calm down, Merlin. I just want to talk... you know me for a long time now. Trust me to be able to think things proper."

Merlin stared towards Arthur suspiciously before shaking his head slowly. "If... you say so, Arthur. Though I've seen your anger before, with Morgana... Gwen... Agravaine's betrayal—I've seen your reaction when people betrayed you... or when you think they've betrayed you... and I've seen a glimpse of your reaction should my secret was out long time ago in Ealdor and you have no idea how terrified I am for your reaction when you really find out for real and we had got along so well with each other I can't really imagine not being friends again after that or worse if you would have had me executed. And since when have you been able to think things calmly, eh... though I know you're not as distrustful of magic as your father—"

Arthur started shaking Merlin before he could continue rambling incessantly.

"Merlin! Shut up."

Merlin immediate stopped talking before looking at Arthur warily. "So... time to talk?"

Arthur nodded.

"About my magic?" he asked again as Arthur nodded.

"Yes, about everything..."

xxx

Arthur let out a long sigh.

"So in the end, it's all about destiny?"

Merlin gave him a peculiar look before shaking his head. "Well, maybe. Destiny may have played a part of pushing me towards always protecting you from the shadows, but as time went on... I did earnestly wanted to protect you with everything I had. Destiny or no destiny."

Merlin gave Arthur a weak smile. "Because I cannot bear to see you getting hurt. It's excruciatingly painful to see you dying, even worse when it almost seemed like I could not help you. And all those times I saved—or tried to save—your father, even Morgana... I did it because of you. It's no fun to see you being so sad. I confess, I'm not really that fond of your father... back when he used to be alive."

Arthur snorted. "Yeaa... especially since he always sent you to the stocks when you did anything wrong?" Merlin elbowed him hard as he chuckled hesitantly.

"So... you really are that old sorcerer..." Merlin looked at him as Arthur shrugged. "Gaius told me a bit. Or more like slipped out more than he intended to. He kept insisting that you're not to be blamed..."

"Well, that was true!" He pouted. "If I knew there would be some attempt by other people to turn my magic against me and caused your father to die even faster, I wouldn't have done it. I don't want you to hate magic more than you already have."

Arthur blinked, before shaking his head.

"I knew it. I always thought those eyes were oddly familiar... I just can't place it."

Merlin snorted.

"Well, it was interesting to note that you only started to treat me well when I'm like eighty years old."

Arthur jabbed him from the side. "Don't push it... I don't always treat you so bad normally. So that explains how Dragoon seemed overly concerned about me treating my manservant badly..."

Merlin averted his eyes as he fought to remain neutral. "Well, with all your faults... you're not that bad aside from being a silly prat. It's hard to list out anything else remotely bad about you."

Arthur snorted as Merlin thought he said something about him being so charming. The silence returned again as Arthur let out an awkward laugh.

"So... since when?"

Merlin's eyes flitted towards Arthur before shrugging.

"Since I was born. The magic had always been there... even before I learnt to walk."

Arthur nodded his head. Merlin stared at him amused.

"You're awfully calm about this..."

Arthur shrugged. "I had a lot of time to simmer down my anger... as well as to think. It's not that chivalrous to cold-bloodedly kill someone who saved my life... anyway. Especially for someone who had always claimed that he saved my life more than I could count." Merlin unexpectedly let out a snort as Arthur continued. "That aside... the very fact that you had been lying unmoving on the bed for several days and the fact you were still my old Merlin until that day, well... there were a lot of things that stopped me from doing crazy or stupid things. I won't get my explanations anyway if you had died so soon."

Silence again, as Merlin bit his lips.

"... how's that possible?"

Merlin turned to him, confused... before realising that Arthur was responding to his earlier statement. He sighed.

"I don't even know. Even Gaius never heard of anyone else who had born already having magic."

"Must be hard..." Arthur commented.

"Very. Even if Ealdor was not under Camelot's rule, it's still hard. I always had to hide the fact I had magic from everyone. It was lonely, being different. It's hard to fit in comfortably, especially in a small village like Ealdor where it's not easy to blend in among the crowds for the lack of it. I'm never that good at controlling my powers... at least until I came here."

Arthur stared at him sceptically. "Here? Where it's more dangerous for you because of your magic?"

Merlin shrugged. "There're more people living here compared to Ealdor. And not everyone know each other so well unlike in the village. I can easily hide myself amongst the crowd as long as I'm careful with my magic. I could fit in better in Camelot than in Ealdor, since I'd be sticking out less like a sore thumb here."

"So... you found your place here in Camelot, with me? Despite the hardship?" Arthur asked as Merlin glanced at him, wondering if he was recalling that old conversation back then when he had asked him the reason why he had left Ealdor. Merlin grinned sheepishly.

"That time in Ealdor, with your old friend... in truth, it was you he was covering, wasn't it? That wasthe earliest incident when your secret had almost got out. That time... did you actually meant to tell me about this?"

Merlin's smile cracked as he thought of his old friend, Will, before nodding.

"Yeah, but Will stopped me. Added with the fact he took the arrow meant for you, he thought he could protect my secret along. Back then, I wanted to tell you about it. Many times before and since then, I've always wanted to tell you the truth... but—" Merlin shrugged. "Will accidentally found out about my secret when I was younger. He's the only other person who knew about it, but it was enough reason for mother to send me away to Camelot."

Arthur sighed again.

"As I thought... you're bad at keeping secrets."

Merlin elbowed him. "I am not, I beg your pardon! I've been able to keep this from you for a long time after all!"

Arthur stared at him pointedly. "You almost did before your friend cut you off. And before that, you have unthinkingly confessed to save Gwen. Lucky for you I didn't buy it then..."

Merlin frowned at him. "Well, Gwen was in danger of being executed that time because of me—don't change the subject, I was talking about what happened at Ealdor—to say the least, unfortunately I didn't confess again... you did seemed particularly vexed about it at the thought that I was the one that conjured that whirlwind—"

Arthur jumped.

"Well you're about to confess in public that you have magic—you, being my servant and Camelot being opposed to anything magic—don't you think I have a right to be alarmed? How'd you suppose I could protect you in that kind of situation?"

Merlin stared at him in disbelief.

"Right. I don't see you being protective of me when Gaius—being possessed by a goblin—revealed I had magic!"

Arthur kicked Merlin's leg. "That's different! That time my father was around—even if I wanted to help you I wouldn't have been able to if I openly fight my own father. Not like I was even prepared for that! I don't even know you really really had magic and only been using them to protect me and that magic was not entirely evil. If I'd known..." Arthur paused as he realised he was not making any more sense. "Besides, my father rarely listened to anything the moment he hears that magic was involved. You remember that thing with Gwen..."

Merlin nodded thoughtfully before Arthur spoke again.

"Who else knew? Besides Gaius... and of course, your mother."

Merlin shrugged.

"Aside from the druids and the other people who had magic that I've encountered in the past? No one... but Lancelot. He found out by accident, during the griffin incident."

"Lancelot knew?" Arthur asked in surprise as Merlin nodded pointedly.

"He kept it a secret... seeing I mostly used it to save your bottom."

Arthur stared at Merlin with amusement. "Mostly?"

Merlin grinned slightly. "You don't think with all the chores you and Gaius threw at me that I won't use some magic to aid myself?"

"Just chores?"

Merlin noticed the eye-rolling as he averted his eyes away. Now that he finally let it all out to Arthur, it did not seem as easy to keep it all in again.

"There were some other things... but it's useless to talk about it now..." said Merlin as he fought to not show off his grin. He thought of the things he used to do in the past... which included a lot of ridiculous things to date. From now on Arthur would definitely know who to blame in case his pants mysteriously fall off again... or if his food mysteriously vanished. He immediately sobered up as he realised that this was not the time to make jokes.

Arthur stared at him suspiciously as if not fooled by the look of innocence Merlin gave. But suddenly he frowned.

"Have you ever thought of killing me? Because I always said such things to you even though I rarely meant it literally and there must be a time you might feel the same but honestly..."

"It's the same to me... though there was one time I really wanted to kill you. Literally..." Merlin could feel Arthur stiffened beside him before adding. "—but that's because Morgana placed a Fomorrah head on me to control me and make me try to kill you. Which is practically useless since I was so clumsy about it and destiny often made it certain that I don't succeed. I make a stupid assassin if there is one..."

Merlin kicked Arthur lightly as he caught him snorting over the last line. He smiled weakly. Somehow, seeing that Arthur continued being so calm while he explained everything... brought relief in his own heart. Perhaps because of the circumstances on how Arthur ended up finding out... or the fact that he had time to think things over—maybe it would not be so bad after all. That destiny both of them shared... about Albion, things might not be that hopeless still...

"Um Merlin..." Arthur suddenly spoke. Merlin turned to him as Arthur cocked his head. "How did you know about this... destiny you kept on and on about anyway?"

Merlin shrugged.

"The Great Dragon told me," he said matter-of-factly, as if that was the most obvious thing to know.

Arthur whistled. "Hmmm... you seemed to be so close with that one. Though I thought the Great Dragon's already dead..."

Arthur stared at him pointedly before Merlin turned to face him. He shrugged.

"Well... yeah. That was interesting... wasn't it?" said Merlin before Arthur gave him a reproachful look. "He was my kin... I mean, Kilgharrah. I can't—what did you mean I seemed to be so close with him?"

Arthur raised his shoulders. "Well I can't help noticing—that dragon had a name?—after seeing how that dragon appeared a bit protective over you when it saved us from falling off a cliff. I got quite a scolding when it thought I wanted to kill you." Merlin stared at Arthur suspiciously as Arthur hastily changed the topic. "And you still haven't answered my question."

"I'm a Dragonlord. And obviously—even if Kilgharrah made the mistake of attacking Camelot that time, you can't blame him for holding a grudge—I can't kill the very last dragon on this world, can I?"

"And now there are two..." Arthur added testily as Merlin unthinkingly nodded his head—hinting that he was aware of that there was another—before continuing.

"This doesn't make any sense. If you're a Dragonlord... what's the point of us searching for the last Dragonlord back then if you are one?"

Merlin rolled his eyes.

"That time I wasn't yet a Dragonlord much less the last one, so there's still a need to go on that mission after all. Back then."

Arthur frowned. "Wait... so what's the relation between Balinor and you? Why is it that you ended up being a Dragonlord after his death?"

"He's my father."

Arthur hung his mouth at him as Merlin continued. "Seeing that I am confessing my secrets to you I might as well drop the whole bunch on you all at once, don't you think? Make it easier for you to decide whether or not you want to kill me or keep me alive."

Arthur continued gaping at him, wordlessly before Sir Leon suddenly knocked on the door and walked in into the chamber.

"Oh! Pardon me... Sire," said Leon apologetically before bowing his head. Merlin looked at the older knight in amusement. The man was probably wondering why the king and his manservant had been idly sitting on the king's bed, chatting—as if that was the most normal thing to do.

Arthur blinked before turning towards Leon.

"Sire, you're needed at the council room. There are matters to be discussed..." said the knight as Arthur nodded.

"Y-yes... I hear you. I'll be there in a moment," he said before dismissing Leon away. The knight bowed before excusing himself from the room. Arthur turned back towards Merlin.

"You, stay here. Go polish my armour, scrub the floors, tidy up the room—everything else that you could think of while remaining here, just do it. We'll resume this talk when I return. If I see you running off I'll wring your neck for all it's worth!"

Merlin grinned.

"Yes, sire," he said before suddenly stopping him as Arthur was about to leave.

Merlin frowned. "By the way, Arthur... what did you mean when you said there were two dragons? I only remembered calling Kilgharrah for help."

Arthur paused before giving Merlin a long look. Without answering the question, he immediately walked out and closed the door behind him.

Merlin need not know that he saw a white dragon flying towards Morgana before falling off the cliff a few days ago.