But I'm Gone

Shaking, Mimi climbed off the table. Roger wrapped his arm around her small waist, and grabbed her forearm firmly. Suddenly, her knees gave out. Everyone lurched forward, but Roger kept her balanced.

"Woah, you okay?" Collins asked. Mimi nodded, and tried to stand on her own two feet.

"I can stand Roger, really," she said weakly. Roger didn't look convinced. "I, I should get downstairs."

"Let me carry you," Roger said firmly. Before Mimi could protest, he scooped her up in his strong arms. She snaked her arms around his neck, and rested her head on his chest.

"Night Meems," Maureen said. Mimi smiled weakly. As Roger carried her to the door, the rest of the Bohemians said goodnight.

Roger gently laid Mimi down on her bed, and covered her up with a blanket. She seemed so weak, and slightly dazed. After Roger got Mimi settled, he dug around her kitchen for her bottle of AZT.

"Roger? Roger?" Mimi cried. Roger grabbed a cup of water and her AZT. "Roger!" The rocker rushed to her side. "You left me," Mimi choked. "Why'd you leave me?" Roger stroked her hair.

"I was getting you your AZT. I'm not going anywhere; I promise." Mimi turned away from her boyfriend's touch. Roger handed her the water and small pill. "Here, take this." Wordlessly, she obliged.

"You're not going to go upstairs tonight, are you?" Roger shook his head.

"No, I'm going to be here with you all night." Satisfied, Mimi slid deeper in bed, and closed her heavy eyes.

Once Mimi's breathing evened out, Roger climbed into bed next to her. Almost immediately, Mimi curled up against him, and rested her head on his broad chest. Roger wrapped his arms around her small form, and kissed the top of her head. It felt beyond amazing to have her in his arms again. Soon, he too was asleep.

The following morning, Roger went upstairs to shower and change quickly. When he got back to Mimi's apartment, he found the dancer huddled in the far corner of her bed sobbing. He was moved with pity until he saw the belt fastened around her upper arm.

"What the hell are you doing?" Roger yelled. The second those words left his mouth, he regretted them. Mimi didn't answer, she only cried harder. Roger climbed on the bed to apologize when he found something lying on the bed next to her. lying next to Mimi was a needle filled with heroin. Roger pulled Mimi close to him, and stroked her long hair.

"I couldn't do it," she sobbed. "I kept seeing Angel's face, and hearing her voice. I thought that I needed a hit so I got the smack, but I couldn't. I'm sorry Roger."

"No, don't apologize. I'm so proud of you. This means that you're getting better. Angel would be proud of you." Roger unfastened the belt from Mimi's arm, and calmed her down.

Later that day, Roger called Collins upstairs, and asked him to stop by to talk to Mimi. The anarchist readily agreed; he wanted to help his friends in any way possible.

"Knock, knock," Collins said as he opened the door. Mimi looked up and smiled weakly. Collins took a seat next to her on the bed. "How are you holding up?" Mimi shrugged.

"I still feel a little dazed," she replied feebly.

"You gave us all quite a scare yesterday. Roger told me that you miss Angel." Collins draped his arm over Mimi's shoulders. "I miss her too." The dancer looked slightly surprised, but she didn't know why.

"You do?" What kind of question is that? Mimi asked herself. Collins sighed.

"I always miss Angel. Just the other night, I had this crazy dream; I rolled over to tell Angel, but she, of course, wasn't there. Almost daily I'll think what would Angel do? Like right now, I'm trying to figure out what she'd do to cheer you up." Mimi chewed on her bottom lip.

"Well, we'd normally go out, and buy a few rounds at a bar." Collins chuckled, and squeezed Mimi closer.

"There's my girl shining through. Angel wouldn't want you to be upset about her death; you of all people should know that."

"I know, I wasn't really thinking."

Collins gave Mimi a brotherly kiss and started to stand up, but she pulled him back down next to her.

"What's wrong Meems?" he asked, concern written across his face.

"I want you to take this," Mimi replied quietly as she pulled a red bandana tied in a bundle out of the nightstand next to her bed.

"What's this?" Collins opened the bundle, and found Mimi's stash and needle. "Oh, uh, wow. You sure you want to do this?" Mimi nodded.

"I'm positive." Collins gave Mimi another hug.

"I'm proud of you, and Angel would be too." Mimi tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She was finally turning her life around.

The End