Disclaimer: They aren't mine.
Spoilers: Eh, you'll find out later.
A/N: I have decided that Lindsay is my homegirl. Therefore, I must write her like crazy. I cannot get this idea out of my head, despite a whole day of trying, so that means it must be written. It will follow the show later.
The old mattress squeaked beneath her as she rolled over to look at the clock. It had been almost three hours since she had bid her parents goodnight and climbed the stairs to her childhood bedroom, and sleep was no closer now that it had been then. She had the window open, and the cool breeze licked at her skin urging her into relaxation and restfulness. But her overactive brain was having none of it.
Thwacking her pillow into submission again, she flopped down and tried to get comfortable. This was her last night in Montana for a long time, and while she had been thinking of New York as a great adventure, she was starting to wish she could just put it off for a year or two. Wasn't it just yesterday that she was ten and going to summer camp for the first time? She remembered being homesick and crying a lot the first day, wanting nothing more than to go home and crawl up on the couch between her parents and watch a movie. She imagined that was what New York would be like, except she didn't get to come home at the end of a week, and it wasn't going to be all fun and games. She had to work, she had to prove herself, and at the end of the day, she had to go home alone.
She tried to put her mind back on the adventure track, thinking of all the things New York could offer her. She'd never been out of Montana, the biggest cities she had ever been to were Billings and Bozeman, and the idea of living in a city with over eight million people made her feel like she was suffocating.
She sat up and rubbed her eyes before sighing and fixing her camisole. She wasn't going to sleep tonight. There was just no way. Stretching, she stood up and grabbed her robe off the end of the bed, throwing it around her shoulders before opening the French doors that went out to her balcony. The night was still and crisp, the crickets cutting through it in a specific symphony that could be heard no where else on earth. She knew already that New York wasn't going to have this. The stark simplicity, the vicious wilderness juxtaposed with the quiet chirping of birds in the morning. Of course New York could offer many more things, but not these little bits that were ingrained into her from the toes up.
She climbed up onto the railing and leaned against the house, taking in a deep breath and watching the stars. So much was about to change. Part of her was so ready to get out of this place that held so many memories. Become the person she wanted to be without anything tying her down. She loved Montana; it was a part of her. But there had to come a point where she broke away, where she became a person in her own right.
She had never really lived past that night in the diner. She'd grown up of course, but there was still so much she had left to do. She'd never been in love, never been in a relationship, never even been good and kissed. She hadn't changed someone's life, righted a wrong or really stood up for something she believed in. And it wasn't so much Montana that prevented her from doing it, but the complacency she had here. Her comfort zone was her constant state of being.
She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them as the wind started to blow her hair back from her face. She wouldn't sleep tonight, but instead pass the time aligning herself with this place, locking it into her soul to pull out in those moments where nothing else would help. Because in a city of eight million, she was still going to be alone.
