Disclaimer:I unfortunately don't own Sherlock. All rights belong to the BBC and blah blah blah. This is my first proper fanfiction so please be nice.


The day Sherlock had to get milk was a bad day for everyone involved. It was a cold December morning and it snowed heavily during the night. The whole of London had been covered by a thick coating of the stuff. The snow made the normal bustle of the city come to an almost standstill. The brave and the crazy were outside wearing several layers of clothing as they tried to explore the frozen wasteland that London had become.

Sherlock was bored, completely and utterly bored. He had no experiments to do as the one he was conducting required little observation to it. Also John got rid of the head in the fridge as apparently it was too 'unhygienic' to keep, and he moaned about the fact that he would like to keep food in the fridge, instead of body parts. There were no cases for him to do and Scotland Yard was closed due to the snow. Sherlock watched the news, getting more and more frustrated as no crimes had happened lately.

"The criminals have not done any crimes, thanks to the bloody weather." Sherlock grumbled to himself "Putting me out of the job."

He would have complained to John about the lack of criminal activity, but John was apparently stuck in bed with a cold. Sherlock decided the only thing he could do until something interesting happened was to make up a cup of tea and think of ways to kill Anderson only using a pencil.

Sherlock went into the kitchen and started to look for things to make tea. He located the tea bags easily, the sugar was slightly harder to find, but he managed to find it. He opened up the fridge to find the milk. There was none left, apart from the empty carton that had a note from John stuck to it. Written in John's scribbly handwriting it said:

'If you want milk Sherlock buy it yourself. I'm not buying milk until you go to the shop yourself and buy it yourself. I mean it-John.'

Sherlock slammed the fridge door close and mumbling his thoughts about his hatred of John Watson. He whipped out his phone and rapidly started texting his rage about milk to John.

We are out of milk-SH

Go and get it your self- JW

I want tea and we are out of milk-SH

Sherlock, go and just get the bloody milk, make your tea and shut up- JW

I don't want to get the milk-SH

Sherlock, just get the milk or no crime scenes for a month. I'm meaning it-JW

You wouldn't- SH

I will phone Lestrade and tell him not to give you cases anymore-JW

Fine. I will get the milk. Shame on you John Watson-SH

Sherlock slammed down his phone and stormed off to get dressed. John smirked as he got the text from Sherlock. He had won. Watson -1 to Holmes- 0. He rolled over in his bed and hoped that Sherlock wouldn't cause too much trouble for the people in Tesco's.

Sherlock huffily put on his jacket and his scarf, he was thinking of ways to put poison in John's food without him noticing. The TV was on the weather report, with the presenter who was obviously having an affair with her husband, and the husband was having an affair as well. Sherlock absolutely hated her. The main reason was that she sounded too happy while presenting a boring subject like the weather and she obviously had no clue about what she was talking about. The images of the streets of London were on the screen, with clips of large traffic jams and people waddling along the streets like penguins.

"Due to the amount of snow and extreme weather, three car accidents have taken place within the past hour. The roads are blocked are expected to remain blocked for at least a few hours. The roads and pavements are covered in ice so be warned if you do go out. It is expected to snow heavily throughout the day; residents are recommended to stay inside for the day. And back to the news I'm…"

Sherlock threw the remote at the TV screen; it had managed to get itself lodged in the screen. John shouted from his bedroom "Sherlock what have you done this time?" He started to climb down the stairs "If you have blown up or destroyed something again, or so help me!" Sherlock knowing that an angry John would be the end of him, he bolted out of the flat and went into the tundra of London. The presenter that Sherlock absolutely hated was right about something for once in her life. Right now It was snowing heavily, the moment that Sherlock had stepped outside his black jacket was white. The roads were completely jammed and they looked if they wouldn't have much movement to them for hours. Realising that he would have a snowflakes chance in hell, when trying to get a taxi, he would have to walk.

Shielding his eyes against the snow he managed to slowly trudge against the snow. Large areas of the ground were covered with ice. The blizzard that was currently taking place got heavier. Sherlock squinted his eyes more as he tried to see against the snow. He could barely see anything, apart from the faint figures of people struggling against the storm. Sherlock saw the brief glow of the Tesco sign, illuminated against the white land. Sherlock grinned at the sight of the sign and quickened up his pace. Tesco was his refuge and he was not wanting to spend any more time outside. Taking long strides to the shop, he felt his foot slip on ice. Then in the next second both of his legs were up in the air and he was lying on the ground. Wetness started to leak through his coat. Sherlock normally loved his coat, but at the moment he hated it. The water had made his coat heavy and hard to walk around in. He struggled with his wet clothes as he walked the last fifty meters until he got into the shop. He waddled into the shop with his shoes squelching with every step he took. To his utter horror the shop was filled to the brim with people heaving trolleys with large quantities of food as if they were preparing for the apocalypse.

The detective made his way through the shop narrowly dodging people who were armed with several loaves of bread and other food related items. A mother with four children who were running rampage throughout the shop, approached Sherlock. Sherlock quickly deduced: not married, all the children had different fathers, she has problems with relationships in the past due to her children. She had her first child while she was sixteen and is only in her mid-twenties, all children are under six years old. The mother handed three of her children to Sherlock and kept hold of the youngest one.

"Keep hold of these three." She demanded in her uneducated accent "I need to change 'im." She stalked away with the toddler squirming out of her arms, just before she squawked at her children to try and behave for the detective that was now a babysitter. Just as she left, Sherlock looked at the children and counted them. One was missing. In the space of less than a minute Sherlock has lost someone else's child. "Great, just great." Right now, Sherlock knew that he would definitely need cigarettes or at least enough nicotine patches to cover his whole body, just to cope for the day he had. Not knowing what to do he placed the children in one of the trolley lockers and made them stay with the promise of getting sweets. He whipped out his phone again and started to text John.

John, I've lost a child – SH

What!- JW

I was in the shop, a woman gave me three of her children and I have lost one SH

Why would anyone trust you with their children? –JW

I deduced that she isn't a good mother since she left three of her children with a complete stranger SH

OK. Do you know where the other children are? –JW

I have placed them in a trolley locker SH

That is cruel, even for you -JW

It is fine, I told them I would buy them sweets if they stay in the locker and they are quiet –SH

Why have you put them in a trolley locker? Just as a matter of interest JW

John if you were paying attention, I told you that I have lost a child and placed the other children in a trolley locker so that they won't go missing so I can find the missing child –SH

Couldn't you call security and they could find the child for you? –JW

Why would I do that? The police are Idiots and so are security. It would be easier if I do it myself. – SH

Whatever. Try not to get arrested. Buy Jam. -JW

Sherlock placed the key in the locker and making sure that the other children would stay quiet, he started on his quest to find the missing child. As he was walking the children in the locker were yelling about what sweets they were wanting. The girl who was about four years old was screeching about wanting Skittles at the top of her lungs. The other shoppers didn't notice Sherlock hiding two children, as that part of the supermarket was deserted, but when that girl started to scream, the other shoppers emerged from their isles. Sherlock scanned the scene, everyone was staring at him. A security guard with a large moustache was starting to walk towards him. Not wanting to disappoint John by getting arrested, he put good use to his acting skills. He slipped into the role of a nervous man looking for a pet dog. Sherlock went up to the guard with tears in his eyes.

"Excuse me sir. My dog ran into the shop as I was taking it for a walk. Skittles doesn't like the snow, it hurts her paws." Sherlock made up "My son will be so disappointed that I have lost his dog. He will tell his mother and she will leave me for sure." He whimpered covering up his eyes.

The security guard wasn't a caring person, but he loved puppies, other than puppies the only thing he loved was his moustache. He couldn't let someone suffer from a missing puppy, like what he did when he was a boy. He reached over to Sherlock and awkwardly patted his shoulder. "We will find your puppy, even if it is the last thing I ever do."

Sherlock sniffed "Thank you ever so much my son will be so thankful." The guard went to his belt and picked up his radio and sent the message

"Code three fifteen missing puppy in the shop. Repeat code three fifteen. We need back up." Within seconds a whole band of security guards came out of the staff room and spread out around the shop looking for the fictional puppy. The guard with the moustache walked over to the loud-speaker

'Attention to all shoppers, there is a puppy in the shop. Don't be alarmed and help find it. The puppy responds to the name Skittles. The store will be on lock down from now until the dog is found. No one will be able to get in or out the shop until the dog is found. Thank you'

The guard pressed a button on the wall and metal shields covered all the windows and the doors. Customers ditched their baskets and started walking around looking for a dog. A guard opened a box of biscuits and made a trail for the dog to follow. Sherlock sighed at the people, how could they be so stupid? What next tell them that gullible is painted on the ceiling, they would probably believe him. He went to the trolley locker and reminded the children locked inside to pretend that they were playing a game of 'hide and seek' and he would buy them extra sweets if they didn't get found. He pulled out his phone and texted John again.

I am never getting milk again. Shame on you John Watson, for making me go to Tesco. I have ruined my coat, lost a child and I need to get a puppy. I am going to be banned from the shop by the end of the day, I hope you are happy. –SH

Why do you need a puppy? It is the shop you are in, not a park. –JW

It is best not to ask. I will give you the story later with the bill for the dry cleaners for my coat. You put me through this and you will suffer. -SH

Sherlock shoved his phone in his pocket and was planning to make sure that John would suffer for making him go to the shop after the ordeal he was experiencing. Going through the shoppers he was thinking of a way to find a missing child and where to get a puppy in such short notice.

Meanwhile at the flat John shuddered after reading the text. No one ruined the coat of awesomeness and lived. The moment Sherlock was came home; John knew that being in the war would be more pleasant than being with an angry Sherlock.


Thank you for reading! You are a beautiful person for reading this. I hope to have the next chapter up soon :).