Funnyface

Chapter One

Lily Lessons

The television flickered off as the leading couple floated across the pond in each other's arms with the soft music of their love song drifting in the background.

"That was complete and utter rubbish. Biggest waste of three hours ever!" exclaimed James Potter, the messy-haired boy sitting on the floor of the Potter home's 'muggle room'.

"James, you idiot, FunnyFace is a great movie. You just don't understand musicals, or love for that matter," the blonde girl lying on the couch above him replied, whacking him on the head with her pillow for good measure. "Plus, Sirius liked it," she added as an afterthought, sitting up and glancing at Sirius.

James followed her gaze to his teary-eyed best friend, sitting on the love seat directly across from the television with a box of tissues. "What? It was such a happy ending." Sirius Black sniffed, wiping his eyes with an already damp tissue, his nose red from sniffling and his shaggy dark hair mussed to perfection.

"Padfoot, I just lost all the respect I ever had for your masculinity." Nudging the boy beside him with a foot, James continued to rant. "Remus, back me up on this. Men do not enjoy musicals or sappy love flicks." When he did not get a reply, he moved closer to find Remus Lupin's light brown hair floating up with each breath as he slept peacefully, snuggled into a pillow.

"Moony? Hey, you're sleeping!" he shouted, outraged. "What the hell Jane! You whacked me on the head every time I drifted off into the wonderful land of Nod. Why does Moony get to sleep during your stupid 'lovey-dovey' movie?"

Jane answered, an amused expression on her delicate face, "Three reasons: I like Remus more than you. The full moon is in three days so he needs as much sleep as he can get. And, I thought I would do you a favor and teach you a bit about your obsession this summer, but your attitude has totally changed my mind."

"Lily?" James asked, dumbfounded.

"Yes, this is Lily's favorite movie. Too bad you have such a heinous attitude; you could have learned a lot." James ran a hand through his messy hair sadly and stuck out his bottom lip, his hazel eyes slowly misting over with false tears. Jane sighed, taking pity on the poor boy, even though she knew it was just an act. "You really have no clue, do you James? I really think you are hopeless," she frowned in mock disappointment.

"Yeah Prongs, you are hopeless! Get a new crush. Go with an easy-er girl." Sirius added in his two Knuts worth, while throwing popcorn at the back of James' head. James glared at him, shaking the kernels from his hair.

Climbing off the large, brightly patterned couch, Jane muttered, "Sirius, you are such a womanizing jerk." She threw her pillow forcefully at him. He barely managed to catch it before it smacked him in the face. Sirius whispered a few unkind words about her under his breath as she started to leave the room, but Jane either didn't hear or didn't care.

"Hey Pete, you want another root beer?" Jane called over her shoulder, ignoring James and Sirius.

"Sure. Thanks, Jane," Peter answered surfacing from the candy wrappers and spilt popcorn that covered him and his faded recliner. Sirius couldn't prevent himself from watching her small hips sway from side to side as she walked from the room. He glanced nervously at James when he realized what he had done. Thankfully, James was too busy glaring at her back to notice. When did Jane turn into a girl?

"How come she is always nice to Moony and Wormtail? We're her family," Sirius whined, stretching out on the now abandoned couch. Cracking his neck, he continued, "and why does she always get the couch? Leaving me with the mini-couch. I can't even lie down comfortably. You could fit two of her on the love seat. It doesn't make sense."

Rolling his eyes, James stood and smirked at his best friend. "Padfoot, the reason we get tormented by Jane is because we are family. And if you don't quit complaining about the love seat you can have the floor next time." He dropped to the love seat and sighed contentedly. This was the life. His friends, his family, and thinking about Lily. Of course, if Lily was there it would be better, but that wasn't going to happen any time soon, so thoughts of her were good enough.

O

A gentle summer breeze, sticky with humidity, blew across the large grassy field of the Potters' backyard. The large Quidditch goal posts swayed slightly, but it didn't affect the five teens sitting in the grass. They always swayed a little in the wind as Mr. Potter had decided that he was capable of installing them himself. While he did manage it, James was always fearful that they would crash to the ground during a storm, but it had not happened. Yet.

Jane lay back in the grass, her blonde hair spread out around her like a halo, ruffling up in the wind every now and then. The book lying on her baggy, shirt clad stomach was being read intently by Remus Lupin. He was lying on his stomach, his head propped up by his hands, his hair hanging in his eyes. Occasionally he would blow the strands away, but they would always find their way back. Peter was not so discreetly attempting to tie Remus' shoestrings together, but Remus pretended not to notice. Sirius and James were playing a complicated game of catch nearby with a large red Quaffle.

"James, what is it that you like about Lily?" Jane asked suddenly.

James dropped the ball in mid-throw and turned to face his cousin. "What?" The other boys on the field quickly turned away from their previous activities and focused on James.

"Lily, what attracts you to her? Other than the obvious."

"Why do I like Lily?" James frowned, rolling the question around in his mind. "She is beautiful, sweet, smart, and yeah…"

With a disappointed huff, Jane sat up. Remus' book tumbled to the ground and he frowned at her, but she didn't notice. "Do you even know anything about Lily?"

"Of course! I know all kinds of things about Lily. I love her!" James scoffed. As if I would be in love with someone I didn't know.

A wicked smirk crossed Jane's lips, but she quickly hid it beneath a curious façade. "Okay, then. What's her favorite color?"

In an all-knowing matter that reminded Sirius of Albus Dumbledore, James replied, "Red and gold, of course. She is a Gryffindor."

Jane rolled her eyes. "Lily's favorite color is–"

Remus cut her off, "Orange."

"Right, orange."

The puzzled look that distorted James' face was almost funny enough to laugh at. "But…she never wears orange. I don't think she even owns anything orange. How could that be her favorite color?"

"That doesn't mean it can't be her favorite color, Prongs. Look at Sirius, he never wears pink but it's his favorite color," Peter explained. "'Cept for the boxers with the red hearts on 'em," he whispered low to Remus, who chuckled.

Throwing the ball at Peter, Sirius shouted, "Hey! Don't bring my boxers into this!" The ball missed by several feet and Peter just shrugged, watching it bounce across the green grass.

"Look James, if you're ever going to stand a chance with Lily you're going to need to know something about her, spend time with her, and stop calling her Evans," Jane reasoned, her tone actually rather sincere.

His eyes shining eagerly and pitifully, James kneeled down in front of Jane, begging with his hands clasped together as if he was praying. "So, are you going to help me?"

"Prongs, man, the puppy eyes are so mine," Sirius joked, slapping James on the back of the head. "You can't just take them like that. Plus, you're not doing it right."

"Of course I'm going to help you," Jane said rolling her eyes, both her and James ignoring Sirius. "You don't really think I want to spend my last year at Hogwarts with Derrick, do you?" She somehow managed to make the name sound like a curse word.

Grabbing her and swinging her around in a hug, James exclaimed, "Janie, you are so the best!"

O

A small, round, gold badge spun around on the tiled kitchen floor, winking in the sunlight. Jane, Sirius and James stood staring in awe at it; though in reality, it was nothing special, just a tiny bit of gold shined to perfection with the words Head Boy inscribed on its surface.

Their amazement didn't stem from the badge itself, as they had been expecting a Marauder to receive it. Only the marauder they suspected the honor (or curse if you looked at it from Sirius' point of view) to go to wasn't James Potter. Remus. Moony. Mr. Lupin. The smart one. The suave one. The one who actually attended class. The little shiny pin should have been in his school letter, not in James' letter. James didn't even know how to behave, much less keep others in line.

"Does this mean what I think it means?" questioned Jane, looking down at the badge as it sparkled brightly up at her.

"…James is Head Boy," Sirius murmured quietly before bursting out it a fit of laughter. "I always knew Dumbledore was mad!" Still laughing, he clapped James on the back. James looked positively ill.

Suddenly, Jane started dancing and not a normal dance, more of an awkward victory dance. Sirius and James stared at her completely confused as she waved her hands and jumped around as if she was crazy. Right before Sirius finally gave in and asked her if she was okay, she stopped and looked up at them. A smile spread from ear to ear as she whispered excitedly, "This is great! Guys, do you know what this means?"

Thinking long and hard, Sirius found what he thought was a brilliant answer. "Uh, we'll never have detention for hexing Slytherins or being out after curfew again?" His eyes sparkled with mischief at the thought.

"No!" Jane almost shouted, then, her eyes glinted impishly. "Well…yes…" Sobering, she turned to James, ignoring her wicked side for a moment. "But James, this could be really good for you and Lily! Think of all the time you will be spending together. You will be able to get to know her, and she will be forced to get to know the real you; not the egotistical, arrogant, prat front that you always put up just for her; because honestly, not even you can be that conceited all the time. No matter how hard you try!" She held his gaze and smiled softly at him.

Ignoring her insults, James whispered hopefully, "You're right." He might actually have a chance with Lily Evans. With Lily Evans! "This is good. But Janie, we will need to step it up on these lessons because now Mum and Dad are going to throw a party. We won't have the time we thought we did." His voice was dazed and dreamy.

"Right, we'll start now. Last one in the pool has to tell Lily James made Head Boy!" Jane yelled, running toward the door.

School letters and Head Boy badge forgotten, the two boys ran after her.

O

Jane and Sirius invented a great new game to help teach James things about Lily. Jane would ask a question, and when, not if, James got the answer wrong Sirius dunked him under the water. Sirius had read somewhere (Yes, Sirius Black actually read sometimes) that during the Inquisition muggles used this technique to catch witches. They never caught any real witches and a lot of muggles died, but who cared? Dunking James was FUN!

"What is Lily's least favorite subject?" Jane asked, sitting on the edge of a step, the cool water reaching just above her waist, her baggy t-shirt clinging to her.

James looked half-drowned; his water spotted glasses sat lopsided on his face, his black hair stuck to his head, and he kept choking on previously swallowed water. He sighed with relief; finally, one he could get right. James answered proudly, not even attempting to get away this time; he knew the answer. "Lily likes every subject; she doesn't have a least favorite."

With a loud splash, James went under the water. Sirius held him there for a couple of seconds as he struggled frantically, before releasing him with a shrug. As James popped out of the water he sputtered, "What is it, then?" disbelievingly.

"Transfiguration," Jane replied simply. "Next question. What does Lily prefer to read, historical fiction or romance novels?"

"Er… the fiction one?" James said nervously.

Sirius looked at Jane to see if he should dunk him. "Dunk 'em, Black! That was a lucky guess, you didn't really know the answer," she explained to James' crestfallen face.

James was pushed underwater once again. Gasping for air when he was allowed to surface, he raged, "That's not fair! I got it right!" shaking his fists and trying to swim away from Sirius, who just grabbed the edge of his swim trunks and held him in place.

Jane looked at him, smirking wickedly. "James, do you really think it's fair that we dunk you underwater when you get a question wrong? I mean really, what kind of idiot would agree to allow his friend to repeatedly try to drown him?"

Stammering, "Uh...um…er…a desperate one?" James attempted to swim away from Sirius, again.

"That is right my friend!" Sirius chuckled, pushing James underwater once more, just for the hell of it. "A desperate idiot, that's you." Backstroking away and climbing out of the pool, he yelled, "Come on, let's get out of here; we have been at this for hours. I'm hungry!" making his way toward the door.

"You're always hungry, Sirius," James moaned, trying to climb out of the pool himself, but failing miserably.


Author's Note: If you found any mistakes, have any questions, enjoyed the chapter, or disliked the chapter let me know in a review or PM. All feedback is not only welcomed but embraced.