A/N

This is merely a fanfiction. A fictional work with fictional characters. I do NOT approve or condone suicide. I didn't mean to offend anyone either.

I really have no idea why this came up though. Do leave a review with your thought on this.


You were tired.

Tired of fighting, tired of arguing, tired of watching countless rains of bullets falling down on us time and time again. Tired of insults as swift as a punch in the gut. You were tired of the punches too, haha. You were weary too. Of worrying about us, about your enemies. Weary of crying over the dead body of an unfortunate civilian caught in crossfire. Weary of killing.

But that's how our lives work. That's the mafia. And no matter how much you suffered, how tired you got at each passing day, you kept on smiling. You smiled at and protected us. You laughed at our crazy antics that were just a desperate attempt at keeping a semblance of normalcy.

You were our sky and we all loved you dearly. No, even now we love you so. No matter how stained our hands were at the end of the day, you who was the one with the dirtiest hands, you who was the most tired of us all…. You, Tsuna, would always be there to welcome us, hug us and smile at us.

As we came into Vongola's clutches we learned stuff. We learned how truly disgusting the mafia was. We learned to hate the Vongola and love it all the same because we were part of it. We learned to trust nothing but each other. We learned what suffering was and what grieving meant. And of course, we all learned to kill.

And so passed a year. And out of the sudden, the bullets stopped; the assassinations ceased. We had a brief moment of reprieve and in our momentary bliss, we missed how you stopped smiling.

From the on it only went on downhill. You were more and more tired as each day passed. Your missions were the ones that lasted longer, the ones that entailed killing a target. I had simple missions which I enjoyed doing, but sometimes I'd glance behind me and I'd see a broken Boss, who became less and less of himself as time passed. Whose eyes were dead to everything. Then it started. Lambo was the first to disappear. And was soon followed by I-pin. And most of the kids and women except for Fuuta. But you, you weren't grieving nor worrying so we didn't worry either. Fuuta would always assure us nothing had happened ("I can't tell, Take-nii, but there's nothing to worry." He'd said to me).

And then the rest of the guardians disappeared, this time, Fuuta came along. Just me and ol' Mukuro were left at your side. For the few weeks that came afterwards…

Each and every night I came to your room, Tsuna. But I don't think you really noticed. You had already died after all, you were just a walking dead. But that time I kissed you and confessed my feeling for you…

I like to think I saw a spark of something inside those dead brown eyes. At least that night you didn't cry. Every other night you did.

I wish I could have noticed the stains that drenched your body. At the moment I was just glad the killing seemed to be over. Forgive me my boss for being so naïve. For letting you carry the burden alone. Forgive me, Tsuna for letting myself be deceived like that.


Then, out of a sudden you appear secretively at my room. You tip-toe your way in, not wanting to disturb the silence. Before I could ask you anything you kiss me for the first time. At the same time as a warm tear bounced on my cheek.

You covered by body with your kisses. You numbed my flesh with your lips and my mind with your words.

"I love you Takeshi." "I'm sorry Takeshi."

And last thing I remember is falling asleep in your arms. I think you wanted that to be my last memory of you. I'm sorry too that it wasn't.

I was on a plane to Japan when I woke up. Disoriented and lost I tried to think the best way to get back to you. Tsuna did you know? That was the first plane I hijacked. To be honest it was fun. I think. I no longer know. Or maybe I just don't care?

The case is, I returned to Italy. I found you and tailed you. You were alone. You had sent everyone dear to you away. But you were still here. It scared me to see you so lively. You pranced across the whole mansion, touching everything you could, calling out to people that no longer where there. You laughed loudly even as you cried. Yes, all the moment you spent inside that thrice damned mansion you were crying.

You were exhausted. You were tired. But most of all, you were broken.

I saw you at the top of the mansion. I just stared, unblinkingly. I wasn't alarmed, just…numb. Maybe I had broken too? The most I could manage then was a tilt of my head.

I saw you fly. You were dog-tired, but for a moment there I truly saw you fly. Yet the illusion broke quickly and you started falling. As you fell, you sincerely smiled. 'Ah,' I had thought with a smile on my face, 'He's finally letting himself go.'

I walked away. I never saw you touch the ground. And forever in my mind, the very last memory of you, Tsuna, is of your wing-less flight.

I walked and walked, letting my feet carry me wherever they wanted to. I just kept thinking of how tired you always were. How, even in that state you sent us away for safety before looking for some peace yourself.

Yes, I don't really care what anyone says. If they think that what you did was awful…then they clearly didn't know you well enough.

So, my dear Tsunayoshi. I hope you think the same and smile at me instead of curse me if you happen to see me fly as well.

I knew you wanted to protect us and in the end you did. The thing was that, when you broke, I broke as well.

I smile as the concrete approaches at last.

Darkness envelopes me.

I was also tired, Tsuna.