This is the first fanfic I'm published on here, but not the first fanfic I've written xD. Some things were not meant to be seen by mortal eyes.

disclaimer : I don't own Bleach. If I did, there would be more loving and less fighting

Nanao Ise stood up from her desk, stretching her back and her cramped fingers. Why? She wondered, not for the first time. Why was she cursed with such a lazy, drunken taicho? If she wasn't around to take care of things, tidy up, stay on top of paperwork, he probably would have been exiled to Earth by now. Good thing Kyoraku-taicho was so powerful. Though Nanao had to admit he was so silly all of the time, it was hard to take him seriously. You almost forgot that he'd been around since the Soul Reaper Academy had been founded.

Silly he may be, but she still had a stack of paperwork that needed his signature. She probably could have forged it, but Nanao was never one to risk getting in trouble for something. Also, she couldn't be sure that Kyoraku-taicho would take a hint and back her up by claiming to have signed something if she was questioned about it.

So, she'd have to go to the bar.

It wasn't a place that Nanao liked to frequent; she herself didn't drink. But Kyoraku-taicho certainly did, as did many of the other Soul Reapers. Matsumoto-fukutaicho and Kira-fukutaicho were almost always there, in the same seats every time, drowning their sorrows in glasses of sake. Nanao knew that they both were still trying to deal with Ichimaru-taicho's betrayal.

Her taicho was at the end of the bar, tucked away in the back corner. She was here at a good time; judging from the amount of sake in the bottle in front of him, he was still sober.

"Kyoraku-taicho?," she asked. "I brought today's paperwork."

He looked up at her. He looked so sad, she thought. More so than usual. The ghosts that drove him to drink were strong tonight.

"Take a seat, Nanao-chan."

Nanao normally never sat with him. She didn't like to linger in the bar, and usually Kyoraku-taicho signed everything right away. But there was something different about this night, something different about him. Something was up, and despite every fiber of her nature that seemed to rebel against it, she was down on the stool next to him. Curiosity, for one of the few times in her life, had gotten the better of her.

"Kyoraku-taicho?" she began.

"Yeah?"

"Nothing. Nevermind." What right did she have to ask him what was going on?

"I'll sign the papers, I promise, so don't worry," he said. She had to give a slight smile. He certainly knew her well. "Just, stay for a minute, okay?"

She nodded. It wasn't exactly an order, but she could justify it that way.

Kyoraku-taicho gave a small sigh, then gripped his cup. It was empty, but he made no move to refill it. He stared into it for a few minutes, and they sat in silence in the noisy bar. Then he spoke.



"Do you know what the date is today, Nanao-chan?" he asked her.

"It's the 7th, taicho," she told him. She'd written it on all of the documents that she wished he'd juts hurry up and sign. Where was he going with this?

"100 years, Nanao-chan. Has it really been 100 years?"

An unpleasant feeling seemed to radiate from the pit of her stomach. She'd forgotten? She must have written the date 100 times, but it hadn't registered with her. She used to light incense on this day every year, but it seemed like the past few years, she'd been forgetting. She'd realize, on the 8 or 9th that she'd forgotten and she'd always feel so guilty. How could she forget the woman who had been like a mother to her?

100 years to the day since Lisa Yadomaru's hollowfication.

She was pulled back into reality by the sound of glass on the wood bar. A filled cup had appeared in front of her.

Kyoraku-taicho raised his glass, which was now almost spilling over with sake. "To Lisa-chan" he said. Nanao raised her own glass, then brought it to her lips. The alcohol tasted a little odd at first, it was so foreign to her, but after the first few small sips it was not entirely unpleasant. She emptied the glass, though not as quickly as her taicho did.

"You know, there's no time like the present to develop a taste for sake," he said. "Nanao-chan, what do you remember about that day?"

She had been only 10-years-old. " I remember I was going to see Yadomaru-fukutaicho, to read, like we did every month. But I ran into you instead."

He was nodding. "I told you that she was out on a mission. And I lied to you. I told you she would be back the next morning." He reached for the bottle and filled his cup up again. "It was my fault that she was there, you know. They would have sent someone else. But I volunteered her! 'She's strong' I said. 'Let her go'." He turned to look at Nanao. "It's my fault that she never came back!"

"Taicho!" the harsh tone of her voice seemed to wake him up and get his attention. "You couldn't have known what would happen!"

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I'm responsible just as much as if I turned her into a Hollow myself."

Nanao slapped him across the face, not hard, but enough to shock him. She hated to resort to violence, but he was being ridiculous. She couldn't let him just sit there and drown in guilt and self-pity.

"I probably deserved that, didn't I Nanao-chan?" he said. He voice was so quiet, she barely heard him.



Nanao exhaled loudly through her nose. If slapping him wasn't going to do much, she'd have to talk him out of his melancholy. And if there was one thing that Nanao knew how to do, it was to create a logical argument. "To be honest sir, I don't think that Yadomaru-fukutaicho would want you to feel so guilty. I understand that you feel responsible, but you aren't to blame. That bastard Aizen is. You were simply doing you duty as a taicho, to issue orders. Aizen was the criminal. It isn't your fault at all, so please, don't blame yourself, taicho."

"'That bastard", huh? I think that's the meanest thing I've heard you say about someone who outranked you. Can I propose another toast?" He filled her glass, then his own. "To Aizen. May that bastard die a slow and painful death."

"I can drink to that one, taicho."

One drink led into more than she could remember counting.

"See Nanao-chan, you're a natural. Why haven't you come to the bar with me before?"

"I come to the bar, taicho!" she heard herself say. Her voice sounded a little higher pitched than normal.

"Only when you have papers for me to sign," he remarked.

"I don't drink."

"Whatever you say. The four empty bottles in front of us beg to differ."

"I don't drink!" she protested. "I'm always on time! All of my paperwork is always done, usually in advance. I'm extremely organized. I go to bed early and wake up early. I'm overly polite to everyone. It's just who I am." She was aware that she was babbling a little, but she didn't really feel as if she had control over what was coming out of her mouth.

"Why?"

"I don't understand your question." She felt fuzzy. Should have just gotten him to sign the damn papers. Should have gotten in and out, then she could have been asleep by now.

"Why do you always have to play by the rules? What are you so damn afraid of, Nanao-chan?"

"What am I afraid of?" she asked shrilly. People were starting to stare, but it wasn't unusual for people to shout loudly in the bar, especially when it got to be this late. "I'm afraid that it I make any sort of mistake at all, you'll think that I'm not worthy to serve under you." She hadn't really realized it until she said it, but it was true. Everything that she did was an attempt to prove herself, to prove what she was capable of. "I'm afraid that every time you look at me, you see her, and you wish that she was here instead," she said.

Kyoraku-taicho looked completely stunned. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again, as though he was battling with what to say. Then he smiled and said "You know, I should slap you right now, Nanao-chan. How could you ever thing so little of yourself that you would think that you we're 

worthy of your position? Do you think that I would pick you to be my fukutaicho if I thought that you weren't a suitable replacement for Lisa-chan? And do you think that she would want you to feel this way? She loved you. She would have wanted you to be happy, and she would be so proud of you." He got the bartender's attention. "I think you need some tea, Nanao-chan, you'll feel much better."

She drank the tea, then another cup. She could feel her head clearing a little bit. Then she looked at the clock hanging on the wall. She was momentarily overcome by panic. "Kyoraku-taicho, I have to go! I have to go to sleep so I can wake up in a few hours and be in my office!" The stool wobbled as she stood up.

Kyoraku-taicho gave a small smile. "Goodnight then, Nanao-chan. I guess I'll see you, well, probably not tomorrow morning. Tomorrow afternoon, at least.

She smiled. "Take care of yourself, taicho. Promise me you'll get back to your room soon."

"I will, don't worry about me too much."

Nanao grabbed her papers and left the bar, which was now a lot emptier than when she had arrived. Even Matsumoto-fukutaicho and Kira-fukutaicho were gone. She walked automatically towards her room without really thinking about where she was going. She was thinking instead about what Kyoraku-taicho had told her. He was right; Yadomaru-fukutaicho wouldn't have wanted her to feel the way she did. But she still felt that she owed it to her to make sure that everything ran smoothly. Then with a jolt Nanao realized that Kyoraku-taicho still hadn't signed the paperwork. If she wanted to get her work done before tomorrow afternoon, she'd have to track him down.

She hurried back to the bar, but his seat was empty. He'd kept his promise and gone back to his room, she figured, so she headed there next.

"Kyoraku-taicho?" she knocked on the door. Hopefully he was still awake. Or conscious. He had drunk a lot more than she had.

"Come on in." Kyoraku-taicho's voice echoed from inside the room. She opened the door.

The room was pretty dark, but she could see he was sitting in a chair. She could also see a bottle and a cup on the table next to him.

"Taicho," she whispered. "When I told you to go home, I thought you were going to stop drinking."

"So did I. But then I sat down, and the bottle was here. And I just couldn't think of a reason to get up."

Nanao sighed, then walked over and sat down in the other chair.

"What are you doing?"

"You'd better get another cup, sir, because I'm not leaving you alone like this."



The light streaming in from the window onto Nanao's face hurt her eyes. She opened them slowly, then changed her mind and closed them again. Her head was throbbing and she felt exhausted. Why had she stayed up so late? She should know better than that. She wondered what time it was; she was probably late for work now, and on top of that she felt horrible. This is the reason that I don't drink she thought to herself. But she'd have to get up and face the day eventually.

Nanao stretched out her arm to reach the table at the side of her bed to get her glasses. But much to her annoyance, she couldn't find it. Reluctantly, she opened her eyes again and stared in disbelief. Where the hell was her table?

On the floor she could see her own Soul Reaper robes, and next to them, another pair of robes and a distinct flowered haori.

Darn. This was the reason she didn't drink.