"Ari, geddup!" Auntie yelled for the fifth time, pounding weakly on my door. I prised open my bleary eyes for the fifth time and attempted to extricate myself from the bed, also for the fifth time.

"You're twenty minutes late! Already! How do you hope to be employable with a work ethic like that?!" Auntie continued her lecture.

"I'm fourteen," I yelled back. "I'm not supposed to be employable."

I smirked to myself. Well, at least the slanging match had woken me up. I kicked off the covers and stretched out my arms. Too much staying up late and trolling on Reddit. Whatever!

I suppose I should tell you a bit more about myself. The name's Ari, I'm a Capricorn, I want to be a miner when I grow up but who am I kidding, I'd probably have a heart attack just lifting up a drill and doing some manual labour.

Am I a boy or a girl? Who cares? I sure don't. And if you do… Well, sucks to be you, 'cause you're never gonna find out.

I live in Moki Town with the old coot outside there, she's my great aunt and about five hundred years old. My dad jettisoned me twelve years ago, too much extra baggage I suppose, and I never knew my mum. Auntie tells me stories about them all the time but I don't wanna hear it.

I've never admitted this to anyone, but I guess it's because it hurts. Yeah, yours truly Ari hurts inside as well.

I pulled on my characteristic hoodie and a green bandana for the AestheticTM. Time to eat breakfast and go bum around with the Pokémon Professor. Auntie got me to apply for a job there a while ago, when I was really tired and would do anything to make her go away.

"See ya Auntie," I called, sliding down the banisters with an armful of candy. She poked her head out of the kitchen door.

"I made you eggs and bacon!" she said. The smell was very enticing, but I didn't want to give in.

"I'm going to be late," I said with a smirk. "Remember?"

Without a further word, I sauntered out of the front door and stripped a Mars bar of its wrapper.

The Professor's lab was right at the northern end of town, on top of this big ass cliff which I was not looking forward to climbing. Why couldn't they put a ski lift or something in? That would be so sick.

"Hey, wait up!" came a boisterous voice from behind me. I rolled my eyes. This kid Theo was always following me around, like he was cool enough to be my friend or something.

Well, okay, I guess he had to be, because I didn't have any other friends in this goddamn town.

Theo zipped past me with his boundless reserves of energy. I wheezed as I dragged myself forward.

"Don't keep me waiting!" Theo yelled over his shoulder and disappeared over the crest of the hill.

I took a moment to compose myself at the top and looked back over the town. It was a nice enough day. I should really get outside more, I thought. Ah… Who am I kidding? I hope the Professor has me entering numbers for his research. I could hack his database. That would be hilarious.

I turned around and went through the automatic doors of Bamb'o Pokémon Labs, and the doors closed behind me with a hiss.

I looked around in awe at all the high tech gear inside. Nice!

"Whaddaya waiting for?!" Theo yelled impatiently from inside the main lab, his lab coat hanging off his twiggy arms as Professor Bamb'o tried in vain to pull it onto his body. But Theo just would not sit still. I felt like laughing.

An assistant handed me my own lab coat and I shrugged into it coolly, letting the sides swish and flap around me like I was in a toothpaste commercial.

"Oh Ari, you're here," Bamb'o said with a tired smile, the circles under his eyes barely obscured by the pair of cheap sunglasses on his face. Sunglasses indoors? Even I wasn't that extreme.

"Well kids," he continued. "I suppose we'd better get started and make up for lost time."

Bamb'o turned around and pulled two sheets of paper off a desk behind him. "You'll need a pokémon companion to keep you safe if you're heading out of town," he said. "Just fill out these tests for me, and I'll give you a starter you can work well with."

"We're heading out of town?" I asked in surprise at the same time as Theo hollered, "Test?! I don't wanna do a test, gramps!"

"Theo, keep your voice down," Bamb'o said in exasperation. "There's people working in here. It's not an actual test, more like a questionnaire. And Ari, to answer your question, yes. I would like you to explore the region a bit and help me record the types of pokémon we have here in Tandor."

I groaned internally. Tandor was huge. Who knew how many more hills I would have to climb. I hoped that Bamb'o would give me a pokémon I could ride on the back of.

I looked down at the test in my hands. Just four easy questions. I relaxed. No problem.

Firstly: When I encounter a new pokémon in the wild, what is my reaction? Ehh… Like that was something that happened to me every day. I probably wouldn't know what to do, so I ticked 'Wait and see what it does'.

Secondly: which TM would I prefer to teach my pokémon… well that's a no brainer! Of course it's Hyper Beam! I tried building a death ray once in Auntie's shed. Scared the living daylights out of her, I remembered fondly.

Thirdly: who would win in an all-out battle? I considered the choices carefully. Gyarados was strong, but had a double weakness to Ampharos. And Gliscor, did anyone actually use that pokémon in real life? I ticked Ampharos.

And finally: what is your motivation for becoming a pokémon trainer?

I groaned. Enough of these questions about me. I didn't know what I wanted to have for breakfast the next day, let alone my goals in life. What was this, one of Auntie's career counselling sessions? My eyes glazed over as I looked over the options.

Well, there was no way I was in it to become the very best, like no-one ever was. I simply didn't have the interest in pokémon for that. Making new friends? Hah. Do you think I'm the kind of person who's good at making friends?

The last option was 'exploring the region'. Well, Bamb'o had mentioned exploring the region as one of the job roles earlier, so I ticked that for some brownie points.

Theo was still munching on the end of his pencil and thinking when I handed my test in.

"Thanks Ari," Bamb'o said, scrutinising my paper through his sunglasses. I wanted to take them off for him.

His frown deepened as he considered my answers. "Well this is interesting," he said. "You seem to be a very well rounded person, Ari." I almost snorted out loud. "But I do see you leaning in one particular direction – defensive battling, taking time to smell the roses. Therefore, your starter will be Orchynx!"

I had never heard of this pokémon before. As Bamb'o opened his cabinet to take out the ball, I prayed silently. Please let it be a pokémon I can ride on. Please let it be…

A kitten emerged from the ball. A kitten! With little steel bands on its feet! I looked at it in horror. This little dweeb probably needed me to carry it, let alone the other way round. I started to sweat just thinking about the exercise involved.

"Thanks, Teach," I said, but the disappointment on my face was obvious.

"What are you thinking, Ari?" Bamb'o said, tilting his head. "I know he doesn't look strong now, but I promise you, this thing becomes a tank if you train it properly."

"Sure thing. Thanks," I said again.

Then the Orchynx started to meow and made its way towards me, surprisingly light footed despite the steel. It rubbed up against my legs, and my heart melted despite myself… I leaned down to stroke its green fur. "Hi kitty," I said.

"All right pops, when's it gonna be MY turn?!" Theo yelled impatiently. Neither Bamb'o nor I had noticed him finish up the test.

"Sorry Theo," Bamb'o sighed. "Let's have a look at yours now."

Bamb'o squinted and moved the paper closer to his face. He squinted more. And more. Eventually he had to remove his sunglasses. "Are you serious?!" he said, as I admired the circles under his eyes in fascination, now they were exposed in all their glory.

"Yellow crayon?!" Bamb'o looked ready to rage quit. I felt like laughing. The kitty climbed onto my shoulders as I crouched there on the ground, and wrapped itself around my neck like a fluffy towel.

Theo giggled.

Bamb'o scanned the paper quickly. "Well, yours is a bit easier than Ari's… okay, I've made my decision! For an energetic person like you with ounces of potential, and the possibility to go either way with your battling style, the starter Eletux is perfect!"

"All right!" Theo pumped his fist in the air and rushed forward to rip the ball from Bamb'o's hands.

"Careful!" the Professor yelled as Theo punted the ball into the air.

"Go! Ele-whatever you're called!" Theo shouted in excitement. Eletux emerged from the ball and landed on the floor with a splat. Small sparks of electricity came from its flanks, and its slick fur looked waterproof, like that of an otter.

"Hey Ari! Let yours down on the floor! I wanna fight!"

"Theo, don't you dare –" Bamb'o rushed forward in vain, then resorted to protecting his laptop as Theo yelled, "Use water gun!"

I'd barely let kitty down on the ground before a blast of water from Eletux soaked into its fur. Great.

"Use Scratch, kitty!" I countered, but before it even had the chance to move forward Eletux had pounced on it with a tackle. I closed my eyes in horror. How embarrassing. Everyone in town would soon know Theo had beat me up.

That's when I heard Eletux bray in shock and my eyes sprang open. Wow. Kitty barely seemed hurt, and he'd just landed a critical hit on Eletux.

"Hey, what's going on?!" Theo yelled. "I got two attacks in! That's not fair! Ellie use water gun!"

Eletux pulled its remaining strength together and landed another deluge on kitty. But kitty just shook the water off and went forward with another scratch!

Theo's eyes were wide with horror as his Eletux collapsed to the ground, fainted.

"Nice work, kitty!" I said triumphantly, picking the creature up to hold it all Simba-style.

"Owww!" I yelled and dropped it immediately as current surged into my hands. "What was that, man?!"

Bamb'o extracted himself from behind the desk he was using as a shield. "Hmm," he said. "It looks like Orchynx got paralysed when it attacked. That's okay, I'll heal him up."

"Don't forget mine!" Theo shrieked, his face red and tears in his eyes.

"Okay…" Bamb'o said, slightly taken aback. "I have plenty of potions here, don't worry."

I watched on, slightly amused, as Theo's tantrum worsened. "Why'd they get the better pokémon?! Why'd you treat theirs first?! It's not fair!" Theo opened his mouth wide and started to bawl.

Bamb'o's workers were stirring at their stations, trying to catch a glimpse of the drama. I looked around and waved to them graciously, and they turned away quickly. The pokémon champion. Thank you, thank you.

"Don't get all cocky now, Ari," Bamb'o said to me as he fed Eletux a potion. "Your pokémon is only level five. There's a long way to go until you can even think about calling yourself strong."

"Harsh," I said. But Bamb'o had caught me basking in the glory. Best not to argue.

Theo scooped up his revived pokémon in his arms and ran out of the lab, still crying. Kitty lay at my feet and I bent down to give it a belly scratch. Bamb'o sighed. "He'll be all right, I suppose," he said, looking after Theo with what I thought was a bit too much concern. Theo threw tanties all the time, and he always forgot about them by the next day.

"Would you go get his lab coat back for me? Those cost fifty bucks a pop," Bamb'o said tiredly. "It's hardly easy to get government funding these days."

"Okay, fine," I said.

"Take it easy on him, okay?" Bamb'o said.

I rolled my eyes and opened another Mars bar. "Whatever. Thanks for the cat. See ya later."

"Oh wait, before I forget!" Bamb'o called out, scrabbling through the mass of papers on his desk. "Come meet me by route 1, I'll start you off on your journeys. Bring Theo along, all right?"

If I can get him out of his cry station, I thought. Theo always hid under his bed in the foetal position when he was upset.

"Fine. Bye."

My stomach grumbled as I walked back down the hill, a much easier task I noted with relief. I thought guiltily of Auntie's eggs. She does try hard. Maybe I should go home and eat them first.