BPOV
My pillow muffled my scream as I slowly entered consciousness. I tried to suppress another scream as a remembered my dream. I had dreamt of the afternoon. The afternoon that – No. I quickly changed my line of thought. I had perfected the art of only thinking what I wanted myself to think. I couldn't control my dreams though.
I dragged myself out of bed and focused my mind on doing multiple tasks of equal unimportance. When the house was in spotless order and I was positive there was nothing else I could do at home and trudged out to my truck. I turned the key in the ignition and heard the comforting roar of my truck. The noise was good, it made it hard to think.
Even though I had done every possible thing I could at home, I was still early to school. Sighing, I pulled out my math book to try and distract my mind. The complicated numbers were a welcome activity which made it hard to think.
She won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down.
School was a blur. Over the past few months I was adept at tuning everything out. I didn't even realise i was home until i started to think. The house was spotless and i needed a distraction. I pulled out the recipe books looking for a long, complicated recipe. I exhaled in relief when i found a perfect one for steak – Charlie's favourite. I occupied myself cooking but when i had to settle down to wait for it to bake i quickly began on my homework, just tuning everything out, not even noticing when Charlie came home. I only looked up when the oven pinged. Charlie sat expectantly at the table but i kept my back to him while i hurried to serve his dinner. I tried not to turn around to look him in his face and when i sat down at the table i just stared down and ate not seeing, not tasting. I was numb.
She never slows down.
She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down
She won't turn around
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down
As i lay in bed, wanting to escape reality but not wanting sleep to claim i tried to think of nothing. I did not want to remember today, see Charlie's worry. That is why i acted normal, why i wanted my pillow to muffle my screams. Why i did everything perfectly and acted normal. To hide my pain from Charlie and to prevent his pain.
O Lord, where are you?
Do not forget me here
I cry in silence
Can you not see my tears?
A/N Well this is my first serious kind of fic i like humour. Well the first 2 paragraphs are from the song Stand in THe Rain by Superchick and the second paragraph is from Crawl (Carry Me Through) also by superchick.
Please Review!!!! if not then i may not add more chapters!!!!
