I've been telling this to myself and yet my brain refuses to let it sink in. How much I try it just doesn't want to. Who knows maybe this time it is not the brain but the heart that refuses to believe that.
It could be since it is a buisness of the heart that has been on my mind and been a pain in my heart for a serious amount of time by now but just for one way I seem not to get completly honest with myself about this buisness, when I should have a long time ago.
It is just that it has alway been me who wasn't that great with expressing my emotions or as people say show what you mean with you being so tsundere about it. In the beginning I really didn't understand why they used that term. The last couple of months though it seems that even I started to notice that I am indeed acting like that.
The thought that keeps bothering me is that I have a crush on of my fellow nations, no big deal you might think. Though the big problem with the crush I have is that I love one of the family members of my ex- enemy. The air around us unfortunatly hasn't changed untill we decided not to fight anymore.
Though to be completly correct I have to say that they aren't siblings, they are cousins but they just call each other so since they have been and still are very close to each other.
So I love the person who is seen as the little sister of my past enemy who still can't stand me at all. For this kind of reasons I don't understand my own heart and mind sometimes. I don't say she is a bad person, far from that but getting her is nearly impossible with the current situation.
Only a few, very few to be exact know that I like her or at least feel different towards the brunet then I used to. Most of the former Allies know,France is the only one who is in this room right now who doesn't know and hopefully doesn't have a clue about it.
Russia notced it from the way I was looking at the girl that I had crush on her and he wasn't wrong at all. He made me realise just how obvious it was for most nations to notice that I was in love. Though Russia has always been a special person so, who knows what he can do. Who says he can't read thoughts of other people? With magic this is an easy task to do but from I know, the Russian doesn't have the powers to do so. Since the two of the are very close friends I was happy to hear that he didn't mind. China found out in a way similar like this and I just told America since he didn't notice anything of it but that is a lot like him.
"Angleterre are you sick?" I heard a voice making me snap out of my thoughts and from the spoken language I quickly realised who was talking to me. I mentally sighed that it had to be him who had to break my train of thoughts of a thing that he was trying to figure out.
Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against French speaking people or people of France in general. I have met several French people who have moved to my country over the years and they were very nice people. I got along with them pretty well. France himself is just very annoying and works on my nerves.
"Yes, he is very sick and the kind of sick of is love loves B…" It took me seconds to realise what America was about to say and when I did I nearly jumped of my chair before I covered the American's mout. In the homes that it would shut him up. The oterhs in the room were just as displeased as I, since from the corner of my eye I could see them glare at America.
"Hmm Angletterre loves someone? That is very interesting. I didn't know that at all. Thank you for telling me Amérique~ Now I only need to figure out who it is." I heard the Frenchman say. Most of the dialoge was to himself though." Who's name begins with a B? If I can find all nations who start with that letter I may figure out who our petit Angleterre likes~" He uttered and started thinking, After that he started to list the nations who had a representation and whose names started with a B.
"Belgium? Belarus? Bulgaria?" He said a few nations which names started with the letter but there wasn't any reaction from my side. "Brussels?" He asked since that was must have been the last represenation whose name started with that letter. At the last name, my cheeks started burning a light shade of red.
Only hearing her name made my heart beat faster. That so little could make it so obvious that I was lost to the feeling that is called love, which keeps me as a victim who isn't able to express it. Please feeling of love don't keep me in this cage and let me go free and don't creep as a pained feeling in my heart when I was not able to tell her the truth.
The question now is what will the reaction of France be, now he knows that I love his cousin, who is like a little sister to him. She togehter with her siblings are his precious family that he protect no mater what. How will he react on the fact that his past enemy grew to like one of his family member to be more than just mere friends. Which we had been since we were babies. That was because we are the same age and we basicly went to the struggles of growing up at the same time.
I don't want France to laugh at me just because I love her or even worse that he would become mad because of. The only good thing about this whole situation is that the uncomfortable feeling that I had from being around France is gone, sadly enough the mood now makes me even more uncomfortable than I did before.
"So Angleterre loves ma petite soeur?" It is weird because France rarely refers to Brussels by calling her that or at least in French. He most likely either says it in English or refers to her by name. I looked at the ground trying to be focused on the carpet like it is the most important thing in the world, since whatever he is going to say.I don't want to look at him. I would rather not face him. The silence in the room made this almost not able to handle.
Even America didn't say anything what is abnormal for him, but it can be that he is thinking of the Japanese guy that he has a crush on for a quite a while.
When the mood whent back to normal which took quite, which is not very normal for us.I bent close to America and whispered in his ear: "America do you speak or write Dutch by any chance?" A small peace of the land America owns now was ruled by the Netherlands, the younger brother of Brussels.
" Ja ik spreek en schrijf Nederlands, waarom vraag je dat?" (Yes, I speak and write Dutch, why are you asking?) It was obvious that he would answer to me in Dutch. Which beside Yes and No I don't understand anything at all of.
"Speak me after the meeting." I sotfly whispered to him since this kinda looked suspicious and I don't want to stir up more emotions right now since this whole meeting felt very akward. America nodded and we continued with the meeting, it was rather odd to see everyone being this silent.
After it had ended, I met up with the American in the hall close to the enterance of the building. America looked down at me since I happend to be smaller than him even though I am older than him.
"Why did you want to know, if I speak Dutch or not?" After he asked me that question I started to look away a blush spread over my cheeks again, only the thought of what I was trying to do made me turn bright red. This is seriously getting kind of a problem.
America and I can sometimes communicate without actually using any words, that sometimes comes in very handly. A situation like this proves that it is indeed is very handly. Brussels and France can do that too, but way better than we do. Believe me on that. It looks like they can read each others eyes from the other side of the room.
"Hello brother~" A voice could be heard from behind me, it is a very familiar voice even. My head shot up and I turn myself to the voice to see the person, who I thought the voice belonged to. And I was right about who the owner of the voice was. What I could see from where I was standing. She hugged the Frenchman while he whispered something in her ear.
I was going to ask America for some help to find a way to confess in a special way, since I was not going to ask France for very obvious reasion, which I am sure that I don't have to point out. I was very surprised that France actually dropped the subject during the meeting.
My train of thoughts were interupted by a small giggle that came from the Belgian still hugging her cousin. I just knew it, that is why he was so quiet during the meeting. I frowned before turning around. This made me serious pissed or and I started walking off.
That was at least untill a soft voice spoke up from behind me, it wasn't that long after that I stormed of from where we had been standing. So the person must have seen the scene.
"England please wait… I can't go that fast my knee hurts." I stopped and turned around to see a limping nation who had been trying to catch up with me which due to a not fully healed injury from a past war,was a way harder task than you would think. Even though I was still very mad I remained standing there. I am a gentleman and I can't let a lady suffer like that.
" England what's wrong? Why did you run of?" I saw the worried expression that was on on her face when she finally got over to where I was standing." You know Brussels I really love you and it isn't funny so pl- mmft." Well that almost was a full love confession but I got interupted by her lips being pressed agianst mine. Even though I was roughly pullling into this it was still very tender.
Who could have known that falling in love with the cousin of your enemy would end up bringing you a fairytail like life with a good ending. I didn't untill now.
