What am I even doing with my life?
Oh well.
I got bored, wrote a thing. It got kinda out of hand.
I liked writing it at least. Hope you like reading it.
It's the reboot, btw
It was late. Penfold was asleep already, as was most of the other danger agents. The sun had set long ago, and had left a mostly starless night in it's wake. In this quiet hour, a single mouse sat alone on his couch. He had spent most of the night playing games on his eyepatch, seeming to have lost track of time. A little voice told him that he would regret that later, probably when he was in the middle of a fight and had to yawn. Or something.
Danger Mouse gave a pointed look upwards, most likely towards your lovely narrator, but chose not to say anything.
The only real reason he had decided to stay up so late, or be out on the couch of all places, was merely because of a gut feeling. It was hardly anything really, just a slight twinge that made him reconsider going to bed at a sane hour. He was just playing games to pass time. Which might have been a mistake, considering that he might not hear whatever he was waiting for.
It's not like he was extremely concerned with his gut feelIing. Not at all. It was probably something he ate not digesting well. He just had to make sure is all, he just had to be certain.
There was no harm in that, was there?
More time passed, obviously. He had given up on the games by then thankfully, it was like he didn't know they were really annoying.
The mouse gave another pointed look upwards, but again chose to stay quiet.
He sat in mostly comfortable silence, just waiting for something to happen. And something did happen, finally. The sound of flushing was heard, and a second later a weary Penfold turned on the light.
"DM? What are you doing up?" He asked blearily.
"The same could be asked of you, Penfold."
"I'm getting a snack at..." Penfold checked a convenient watch on his wrist. "Two in the morning. What are you doing?"
"I'm waiting for something to happen. I've got this gut feeling that something important will happen, but that might just be the beans I ate yesterday." DM explained.
"Oh. Well that explains it. Would you like something to eat too?" Penfold offered. DM shook his head.
"I'll pass." He said casually. He watched Penfold walk into the kitchen and turn on the lrights in there too. The was clanks of jars being jostled and the shutting of a fridge. Penfold emerged a moment later, sandwich in hand, and sat next to DM. He ate his food quickly, silently hoping that what ever DM's gut was telling him would wait until tomorrow.
He finished his snack, licked his fingers clean, and was just about to go back to his room and sleep, when the phone rang. He sighed quietly, all hopes of further rest vanquished.
DM was there in a millisecond, phone now in hand.
"Hello?" He said into the phone.
"This is Danger Mouse, right? B-Because I've already gotten two wrong numbers- "
"Wait wait wait. Is this Duckula?" DM asked patiently. Penfold eyes widened. It was far too early to be dealing with a rewrite of reality.
"Yes. And I'm gonna assume that you are Danger Mouse...?" Duckula said questioningly.
"The one and only. Except for the one in the twystyverse, but let's not go there." DM confirmed.
"Uh, so, DM." Duckula started, but was cut off by sudden coughing. Danger Mouse frowned, and shared a glance with Penfold.
"Duckula?" DM tried.
"Do-Do you... Would you consider us... Friends, by any chance?" Duckula asked. It was growing apperant that something wasn't right. The count's voice, even through the phone, sounded off. Like he had strep throat suddenly.
"No, no I would not. Why do you ask?" DM asked.
"I need a favor." Duckula wheezed, and was thrown into another bout of coughing. Penfold raised his eyebrows.
"Are you asking for help, Duckula?" Penfold asked.
"You know. If you h-have the time. It's not a big deal."
"Depends on the favor, Duckula. What do you need?" DM asked, then added "You're probably going to be thrown in prison afterwards too."
"Fine! that's all good and dandy, just..." He broke off into more hacking and wheezing, but regained himself. "I don't have very many people who I can trust right now."
"Why come to us, then? We don't trust you at all. I kinda got the impression that this feeling went both ways."
"You h-have no idea." He wheezed. "But. If I was your friend, in some hypothetical scenario, in some crazy backwards world, probably a lot like the twystyverse, would you help me?" The duck's voice was a hoarse whisper into the phone.
"It would depend on the favor... Duckula are you alright?" DM asked sudenly.
"Yea, you don't sound too well." Penfold added. Duckula avoided the question.
"W-what if the fa-fa-fa- ... thing I needed, was really im-important...?" He asked, ending with more wet coughs.
"What do you need, Duckula?" Penfold asked, sounding worried.
A moments silence.
"I need your help." He ended the call sounding like he was breathing sand.
Danger Mouse and Penfold looked at each other.
"It might be a trap."
"Yes. It probably is trap."
Minutes Later...
They traced the call to a trench somewhere in the Transilvanian bush. DM drove smoothly into the pit, taking note of all the broken branches and scraped stone walls. There had been people here, and recently. He gripped the steering wheel firmly and landed on the trench floor. The door opened with a pop and DM dragged the shaking hamster out of the car.
"Come on, Penfold. Grab a light. We're finding a vampire." DM said, handing Penfold a flash light. The hamster took it and then tried to still his shaking hands.
"Alright then. W-we should go look for the Count now." He said, inching closer to DM.
"Don't be afraid, Penfold. It's just your normal everyday darkened pit in the middle of the Transilvanian forest." DM comforted. A concerning howl was heard above. "Nothing to worry about."
"I wouldn't say that."
"Let's split up. It will make finding the Count twice as fast!" DM said, pushing Penfold one way and going the other.
"Uh, wait, why don't we stick together- and he's gone."
Penfold turned back to his task. Taking a deep breath, he made his way forward. Trying to not shake too violently, he took slow careful steps over the trench rocks. He shone his light on the floor and walls.
"Count Duckula! Are you here? Or is this just some plot to take over our show again-" Penfold stopped abruptly when his foot hit something. It could have been just another rock on the ground, but he was sure that most rocks weren't soft and didn't make an 'oof' sound when you kick them.
He shone his light at his feet. He gasped and recoiled. The light clattered to the ground, but lit up the scene in front of him well.
A red cape was draped over a shuddering body. Dark hair was splayed about the trench floor, and a cracked phone sat next to a still hand. Green and grey feathers were spread about, and that was wrong, the Count didn't have any grey feathers.
A wooden stake, carefully carved and now implanted in the vampire's back, left a dark patch seeping through the red fabric.
"Y-yo-u... C-aame..." He rasped, slowly tilting his head towards Penfold. "Did-didn't t-think... you... here..." The vampire coughed, speckles of liquid and a plume of dust coming out of his mouth.
"Danger Mouse?! I found him! Come quick!" Penfold nearly screamed, becoming very unsettled by the picture in front of him. "Oh no, oh no! What do I do? What do I do?" He made a move forward, but stopped himself halfway. Should he just... take it out? Would that make things worse? Would it help? Should he even touch it-
"Alright Penfold I'm here. You said he was-! Sweet mercy!" Danger Mouse had arrived not a second too late. Swiftly moving to Duckula's side, DM put two fingers on his neck.
"Do vampires even have pulses? How are we going to save your life if you're undead!?" DM asked, removing his fingers. He grabbed the duck by the shoulders and elevated him slightly. He was down on his knees now, so he and the Count were face to face.
"Duckula?" The mouse asked.
"M'here..." He wheezed.
"Duckula, should I remove the stake?"
A slow nod.
"Penfold, get over here and hold him up. I'll get rid of it." DM ordered, and Penfold rushed over to comply. They swapped places and Penfold was then trying to ignore the dust that now coated his fingers. DM prodded the stick gently, testing for a reaction. When the vampire didn't stir, and when he was sure he had a firm grip on the stake, he pulled.
Duckula squirmed in Penfold's hands, his head hung low and dust escaping his beak. The stake didn't want to pull out cleanly, and it was only after DM ripped his cape off and tugged at it with all his might did it come out. It popped out and DM was disgusted to see a string of black liquid trail after it.
The agent tossed it aside, hoping to never see another stake again.
Duckula made a loud gasp, like he had just breached surface after being underwater too long. He let out a few more broken, shaking coughs before he went completely limp. Penfold, who had his eyes shut firmly through the entire process, peeked a look over at DM. The mouse was checking the wound on the Count's back, making a strained face. Penfold chanced a look down and only saw a wet, black, bruised hole in the Count's spine. All of the feathers and skin around it was either pale or grey, and too many of the feathers were seemingly turned to ash to be an early wound.
The vampire had probably had that in him for a few hours.
Penfold sucked in a breath and watched DM carefully use the ripped cape as gauze. The cape was tied tight around the wound, and DM gave a gesture for Penfold to hand him over. Gently picking the duck up, DM stood, and then was heading back towards the car. Penfold followed.
They both got in and Penfold got the unfortunate task of having the vampire lay on his lap. And not a moment later they were off.
The hamster watched Duckula's breathing carefully, making sure he wasn't in any pain. He probably was, all things considered, but he had passed out so he wouldn't really feel it until later.
"We're going to the hospital?" Penfold asked.
"Yes, but one in London. The people here probably know more about helping a vampire heal, but if the person that did this still has malicious intent, then it would be wise to bring him farther away." DM said.
"Oh." Was all he could reply. Penfold was no longer a stranger to situations like this, he had lost count of how many time they had helped people out of tight situations. But something about this bothered him. He looked down at the slumbering duck and got a good look at his face. His hair was in disarray and a large purple splotch that was definitely not eye makeup was over his left eye.
He hoped vaguely that his kick to the face wasn't the thing that caused that.
"Why... Do you think...?" Penfold asked. Danger Mouse sighed.
"Lots of things. A bunch of people just don't like vampires very much, even vegetarian ones. Or maybe someone has some vendetta against him. We don't encounter him enough to know that much about him."
"Oh."
They traveled onwards, and were quickly approaching a hospital when Penfold spoke up again.
"I guess it wasn't just the beans yesterday."
Danger Mouse snorted. It had no real humor behind it.
"We're here. Let's get him inside, he should heal up nicely." DM said, parking the car.
"I sure hope so. That must have been terrible." Penfold said, looking downcast.
"Well, we'll find whoever did this. It would be an injustice not to." DM said, patting the hamsters shoulder. "I mean..."
Danger Mouse looked down at the unconscious duck now being pulled out of the car by paramedics.
"What are friends for?"
That could have gone better. This started off as just some weird thing where DM and Penfold just chat a bunch, but then I stabbed one of the villains. Oof
I really like the green duck and agree that he should have his own show again I would pay to see that.
So one of two things are going to happen. I either take this down later because I decide it's terrible, or I post another chapter.
We'll just have to wait and see.
