"Tell him that you like him." I heard the voice of the Russian sitting across the room from me. I looked up at him without saying anything to the man who is just a little taller than me, but yet manages to be much more intimidating than me. People say it is because the aura that is around him, but I really can't say if that is right or wrong because I have never noticed it before.
What the man told me is something that he already told me any times before. It is about the 50th time that he was telling me this. It isn't like I didn't hear it back than, but him saying that doesn't really encourage me to tell him.
It isn't like I don't want to tell him the truth about everything that has been going on for quite some time by now. Yet I always lack the courage to do so. I don't know why I do lose all of it, it just seems to drain from me any time that I have been around Japan.
The beige haired Russian sighed at not getting a response from me, not even a slight response or even a reaction. He adjucted his scarf and sat up on the couch he was sitting on and stared at me with a slight frown on his forehead.
And even when I would do what the man was telling me, it wouldn't make much of a difference though. If I would tell him or not would not be so much of a deal, getting to talk to him will be a very hard job to do so.
That is because after that night, Japan seems to have been avoiding me. I don't know why he is acting like that towards me, ever since than. I am actually sad that he acts to me like that. Japan was been avoiding me ever since.
I mean it was, 4 months ago that day. I can't lie and have to say that I was drunk that night, with that I mean very drunk. Nearly pass out drunk, I couldn't think straight and I and Japan ended up doing it that night, if he was drunk as well and wanted what we did or if I forced him to do it is something I don't know. He was silent the whole day after even when I apologized for what happened. I never got a reaction from him after that and he even stopped coming to meetings.
I haven't seen him in three and a half months at this point. I wonder if I have mad him that mad. I never meant to hurt the man in any way, I would never even think about hurting Japan in any way, he means to much to me to do such a thing. I just hope that he knows that as well, I hope it so hard.
I looked up to see Alfred standing in the doorway of the living room, he had a light smile on his face. You could see that he just had woken up from the quick nap, that Ivan highly insisted on that his pregnant lover would take. When he saw that his soon to be husband was standing in the doorway, he got up from the couch.
He walked over him, I could see that he was smiling and I couldn't blame him at all for being happy. He has a loving fiancé and a little miracle on the way. If he wouldn't be happy right now would have been very weird.
Ivan placed a small kiss on Alfred's lips and after that croutched down in front of the American to place a kiss on the babybumb. It was a small bump still but it was starting to get noticable. America doesn't seem to mind that much, I think because Ivan is so happy.
America looked at me."Ludwig, I know Kiku and this isn't like him." He started talking while Ivan wrapped his arms around his waist." He is with something on his mind and he can't solve it on his own."
America smiled at Russia and places his hands on his stomach, laying his hands on Russia's, which had been there ever since he wrapped his arms around him. I took a very deep breath and I got up from the couch.
I thanked both Russia and America for their help also for letting me come over to them and of course for the food and drink they had offerd me while I was there. After I did that I left.
After I left the house that they shared in America, I went to the airport with taxi. I didn't have a car here since I rarely come there, so I needed a taxi to get to places in this case that was the airport. When I arrived there I bought a ticket, this time not back to my home, which is in Germany but a ticket to Japan.
After so many years I would finally do it, I would collect all the courage I can find in myself and I am going to tell Japan the truth, the whole truth this time. Even if he wants to hate me now, I can't feel guitly because I didn't try to solve the problem that I had with my friend. It is also a way to finally to get Italy to shut up about me not telling everything, I was surprised that he even knew.
Italy is not the brightest of the nations, not to be mean or trying to say that he is dumb. The Italian is not dumb like many people think. Sure he does dumb things and acts a lot without thinking, but he can be smart if he want to be. Just like America who has noticed it by now. He is acting more mature. That is very nice because now that he is going to be a parent it is very usefull.
About an hour or 9 or so later, I don't know how much later it is because I have not looked at my watch when I stepped on the plane. When I was on the plane I was thinking about what I was going to say to him and how I am going to bring the subject to me.
When I was out of the airport I took another taxi, I am lucky that I get paid so much for the job I do. Otherwise doing things like this would be simply impossible. I am glad that they allow me to such things.
After the long ride I finally arrive at the Japanese's house, it was still a rather traditional house. It was like him to keep living in a house like that, from what I could see it was a place where he feels safe. I, myself live in a rather modern house. That is because my house was distroyed during the war. I was lucky that I wasn't at home while it happened.
People say that I was very lucky and I only realised that much later. They said the city I lived in was attacked but only when I saw how bad everything looked, I realised that. I had been to far away from home, I would have helped people if I could. I knew about it all to late and wasn't allowed to go.
Those thoughts were going trough my mind when I walked up to the front door of my friend's house. He is also my crush and that is one of the things I am going to tell him today, if he wants that or not.
I took a deep breath and gathered all my courage before knocking on Japan's front door. He doesn't have a door bell so I can't push that. I can only hope that he heard me knocking on the door, otherwise I will standing here for a long time.
"Yes I'm coming." The voice I didn't hear in 4 months, there was it. My heart started beating faster at hearing that voice speak something directed to me, though he didn't know that. It still felt very nice to hear that sweet voice again, I missed it a lot.
It took him a little but he opened the door to see who was standing in front of his door. Since Japan had a curious nature, I figured that he would. His eyes widend in surprise when he noticed that it was me who was standing in front of him.
"Lu-Ludwig-san." Was the only thing he said when he saw me, it took him a minute or so to speak up after seeing me. After he said my name he tried to shut the door but I managed to place my foot between the door and the frame making him unable to close the door.
I didn't know that he would react like that when he would see me again. I really must have done something that hurt him, since he has never acted like that towards anyone. Not even America, I feel really bad now. This is another reason why I really need to talk to him. I want to get this misunderstanding out of the way.
I spoke trough the small opening of the door. "Please Japan, if you hate me please tell me. I would rahter hear it being spoken right into my face. Than I am finally getting what you are aiming at and I can try to get over the fact that I hurted you so badly that you hate me now." I said and in the meantime, he opened the door so that he would be able to look me in the eyes.
Then I finally noticed something different about the Japanese, who looks way younger than you would think for his age, which was at least 12 years older than me. The thing that I noticed was that he was getting a small stomach. Which was visible because he was wearing a shirt that would just fit him at this point. But I didn't think much of it, the Japanse could really gain some weight. He has always been very skinny and it sometimes made me really worried about his health.
I looked down at Japan, since he is much smaller than me. The expression softened before I spoke up again."Kiku, please if I hurt you I'm sorry, I am so very sorry I never wanted to hurt you. I would never even think about doing a thing like that." I continued and than sighed. I really didn't want to do it but if it is for the best. " If you don't want to see me again. I'll leave and you won't see me again, but please know that I love you with every viber in my body."
There I had sad everything that I wanted to say about it, well it was more blurting out. The point is that I told him. I apologized for what has happen a few months ago and I confessed my love to him.
I turned around to leave but he grabbed my arm. He said nothing, but by doing that he showed me that he wanted me to stay with him. He motioned me to turn around again, which I obviously did. His grip went from my arms to my wrist.
I wondered why he did that. He saw that he placed the hand that he was holding on his stomach. Why he did that is a small mystery to me, but knowing Japan he wouldn't have done it without any reason. The look he had on his face told me that he was hoping for something to happen.
After a few minutes of waiting, which must have felt like hours to the Japanese. He didn't like it when people touch him so I am pretty sure that he doesn't like this that much. But what happened after a few minutes was that I felt a light kick against my hand.
When I felt it, it was like a lamp went on in my head. I now know why he had placed my hand on his stomach."Are you pregnant? Who's it?" I asked when I had realised what he was trying to show me.
Well it appears that there is a special gene that only can be found in male represenations of countries. What that gene does is making man able to reproduce with other man. Which is very usefull, because there still come many nations but we lack the representations of those nations to work with. We, nations also have to less woman to actually do so. It seems to be a thing among us that makes the change of getting a girl, like nine times lesser than getting a boy.
Which result in having to less female nations or to less adult female nations for us to, well reproduce like humans do. That is most likely why 'evolution' made us able to do so. I say this, but I am not really sure if this is true.
We know that China is the longest living nation, but we don't know if there were representations of tribes in the past so we can't really say much about that. Asking China would not be an option since it has been to long since he has seen his parents to remember anything about them and he was very young when they died.
Well we nations have always been one of the weirdest things that have walked on the surface of the earth and we are one of the few who are still alive today. Most of us do at least.
I snapped out of my thoughts when he heard the Japanese sigh, which was a rather loud one, since I was able to hear it while I was thinking. That takes a lot sometimes just to add that. If my brother once had to scream at me to get my attention than you get why it must have been a very loud sigh coming from him.
"Whose do you think she is?" Japan said and I nown noticed that my hand still was still on his stomach. He didn't seem to mind that my hand was there as if he liked the feeling. That the realisation hit me.
"Is she mine?" I asked when I looked at my crush. I saw a smile grow on his face, he was smiling at me again. My heartbeat was going faster again and I loved it. I loved the feeling of seeing him smile he smiled. I saw that he was getting tired of standing so I suggested to go back to the livingroom so that he could sit down. We sat down on the couch.
When we sat there, I let out a small sighed before speaking up again. "You know, now I feel like a horrible dad. I didn't know about the baby for so long." I turned my head to the Japanese next to me to see his reaction.
His eyes widend in shock when he heard me saying that to him."No, Ludwig please don't feel that way. I was too afraid to tell you and I hid myself. It was only normal for you to assume that I was mad at you from my behavior. You left me alone to give me time to get over it and to calm down. I understand that." He said and he held the hand that I had laid on his very thight. It felt like he was afraid that I would leave.
I smiled lightly and placed as small kiss on his lips. He tasted like tea. I felt him freeze when I pulled him into the kiss, but only a few seconds later I could feel the Japanese relaxing into the kiss.
He wrapped his arms around my neck while I wrapped my arms around his waist. I was carefull not to hurt my unborn daughter. Japan had revealed that the baby was a girl while we walked to the living room.
I was happy to hold Kiku close, after so many years I was finally able to hold the person I love so much close to me.
Though something felt off, like if Japan still didn't feel at easy. Even after admitting that telling me about the baby was a big relief to him.
I wonder what is still bothering him. He knows that he can always tell me what is wrong. I just wondering when or if he ever will tell me.
