-A note before starting-

Hey, modern hippie here, or if you want my real name, it's Dizz. Anyway, a few weeks ago my little sister Lauran said 'wouldn't it be funny if the three of us became Shinigami?" and we laughed and then I smiled in glee. Because of this, I got an idea. This story is written by a modern hippie with the almighty help of her older brother, 400. So read on my puppets!

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, then this wouldn't be a fanfic. This would be cannon. So you know I don't own Bleach.

-A week before this story takes place-

"400!" yelled the smallish girl as she zoomed down the halls, pushing people away. She rounded a corner, and yelled "Dizz!" before continuing to run, looking for her older siblings. They had joined the academy together. Lauran kept running before crashing into 400, her older brother. "Lauran!" he grinned, "Quick, let's find Dizz!" exclaimed Lauran and they ran until they found the freckled blond. "YAY! We all passed!" exclaimed Dizz as the siblings hugged, "I got put into 11th!" exclaimed Dizz, happiness shining. There was a silence. "I was put into 4th" spoke Lauran; "I'm in 10th" spoke 400.

...........................

"Bugger"

-Present day-

Lauran moved about the new room that the 4th division had given her. She was cute by nature and there was that certainty she would grow up very attractive. She had pale skin with rosy cheeks, dark brown hair and large grey eyes, and her hair was decorated with a large pink flower on the left side of her head. She liked flowers, and pink, and anything girly in general. She had dyed her obi pink and had already gotten into trouble with the third seat, Yasochika. Lauran picked her sword. It had a shiny blade and a pink and purple hilt. "Well Dorikeshi, what do you think?" a small hiss emerged from the sword; Lauran smiled and placed the sword into its pink sheath. She straightened up, as young as she was, she wasn't stupid. She had lived with her older brother and sister in the Rukongai, East 73rd District, 'Saiseki' (Broken Stone). In the house they lived in together until Lauran was old enough to join the academy with them. "I wonder how oniichanandoneechanare going..."

"This new recruit, he was top of his class?" "Yes, well, he was in a tie at top of the class, his slightly younger sister got the same marks as him, but they put her in 11th..." "WAIT!!!! They put a girl in 11th? Other than Yachiru Fukutaicho, I've never heard of a girl in the 11th!" "Neither have I, he also has a sister who was five years younger than him who was put in 4th because of her unique healing abilities" "Interesting. Send him in please."

A rather tall man came into the room. He had somewhat spiky brown hair and light green eyes, and was taller then Matsumoto. His Zanpakto was in a blue holder with a glass decoration where the blade met the hilt. "OH! He's so cute!" exclaimed Matsumoto with a small giggle. "He's about TEN years younger than you!" yelled Hitsagaya. Matsumoto looked downcast. "So, what's your name?" "400 Day." "What kind of name is '400'?" asked Matsumoto, proving once again how much tactfulness she was lacking. "Doesn't matter, anyhow, I was put into this squad. Nice to meet you." "I am your Captain, Hitsagaya." 400 gave a grin "Awwww..." he smiled before pulling something out of his pocket. "Want a lollypop?" You could see Hitsagaya's eye twitch before answering "NO. And this is your Vice Captain, Matsumto. You will treat us as superiors." 400 turned to Matsumoto "Want a lollypop?" "Sure!" "MATSUMOTO!" "I mean...no." "You two act like an old married couple", spoke 400 in all carelessness, generating another eye twitch from Hitsagaya. "If you were married, that would make you...A PEDOPHILE!" Masamoto laughed while Hitsagaya fumed with such anger he couldn't even form a sentence. He didn't even hear Matsumoto had asked for him to go drinking with her later.

"THIS is our new recruit?" asked Kenpachi as the tallish, blond girl with freckles stood before him. "Hi", she replied. "Ken-chan! Yay!" Yachiru tugged on Dizz's sleave "We have another lady on our squad now! A real lady! And not funny eyebrow who only wants to be one!" Dizz grinned at the little girl before bending down and giving her a taiyaki, Yachiru happily devoured it as Dizz stood back up, only to be met by everyone in 11th, all male. "Hey, does your Zanpaktou shoot brownies?" yelled one of the members of the 11th. Up the back, Dizz suddenly looked up, she was still smiling, but there was an evil air to it, a kind that wouldn't look out of place in a horror movie. "Don't make fun of the nice lady! She's our newwww third seat!" Dizz smiled "Yep!" She could see ill concealed anger from a bald man up the front of the crowd. "This is going to be more fun then I thought..." Yachiru pointed to Yumichika "That's lady man!" There was only one set of female laughter as everyone else tried not to.

"Faster, faster!" Dizz ran, blond hair bouncing as Yachiru laughed and tugged on her hair. Dizz laughed. Dizz made a quick turn around a corner, making her laugh more "Ken-chan! Blondie-chan is fun!" Zaraki smiled a bit as Dizz ran past once again, before stopping suddenly causing Yachiru to jerk forward; she slid off Dizz's shoulders and laughed. "Ken-chan! Blondie-chan is funny and she has hair that smells like apples! Baldy was staring at her on the run!" Dizz was catching her breath "Is he mad I got put into third seat and he was moved down?" "Yeah! Baldy is angry because Blondie-chan is a better fighter than him! And she's got hair! Pretty hair!" If this had all taken place in the manga, you would have seen a tiny love heart attached to a string floating from Yachiru's mouth. Yachiru hopped of Dizz's back. "Ken-chan! Can Blondie-chan play with me?!" Dizz looked. "Why does she want to play with me? She hardly knows me." Before Zaraki could answer, Yachiru did. "The others run away whenever I want to play, funny eyebrow is busy making himself look like a lady, and Baldy is with backwards plait lady's squad because I bit him!" she smiled, as did Dizz, who reached into her pocket, unwrapping a colourfully wrapped caramel for herself, and giving one to Yachiru.

Dizz had known from the beginning what more sugar and caffeine would do to such a young child. However, she didn't care because she would be on a sugar high too. A few members of 12th division who were watching paused for a moment to shake their heads in sadness. This head shaking didn't last as long as usual, because they were knocked down by a pink blur giggling and singing 'Blondie-chan is never gonna catch me, Blondie-Chan is never gonna catch me!', and as soon as they got up, they were knocked down by a less rapid but still fast blond blur laughing after her "Yes I will!"

Lauran inspected the bite marks on the bald man's head. "How did this happen? Oh wait, I can guess, someone mistook your head for an apple in the sunlight!" Ikkaku growled, partly because he felt he deserved more respect then what the pre teenage girl covered in the colour pink was giving him, and partly because she was totally, totally right about what happened. Lauran grabbed a roll of bandages after a small amount of detol. "Healing it completely would be a waste of my energy, so, I'll just bandage it up. It'll heal in a couple of days." Lauran was doing a good job with the bandages until she realised that the few noises of discomfort were getting more and more, before realising that she had lost her train of thought and the bandages were now to Ikkaku's solar plexus. "Ah. Sorry." She paused "It would take more time for me to unwind the bandages and fix it up again, then rewind the bandages than it would to just bandage his whole body..." she paused and thought.

For about half a second.

"I WILL SAVE TIME!" she yelled triumphantly, wrapping further down the body of the seated officer, who's muffled curses were growing more apparent.

Shinigami picture book golden!

400 sat next to Matsumoto's left. While she drank herself into brain cell murder spree, 400 remained to sit and eat. 400 didn't drink and never had. As soon as the fukutaicho had learnt this, she had bought him as much food as he had wanted to ensure he wouldn't get bored. 400 was in the middle of eating a bowl of Kamameshi, using his right hand to hold the chopsticks to place more into his mouth, and the left hand to stop Matsumoto from either. A) Choking on her on tongue, or B) being suffocated by her breasts. And occasionally using his left hand to pull Matsumoto of the table when she tried to do a little dance, when who should come in but, Hitsugaya-taicho. Hitsugaya's eyes instantly narrowed at the sight. "Day, what are you doing with Matsumoto-fukutaicho?" 400 opened his mouth to answer when Matsumoto laid her head on his shoulder and slurred out "400-kun, tell me I'm byooootiful..." "You're beautiful Matsumoto." "Yaaaaaaaaaaay." Matsumoto giggled before passing out. "I wasn't here to drink taicho." "Then Day-san, what were you doing here exactly?" "I just came to make sure Masamoto wouldn't do anything stupid." "....." "I mean ER'" "Oh, right."

-To be continued-

-A note from the author-

Hey everyone! Your author here! Now, I had a lot of fun writing this first chapter and I hope you had fun reading it, I both watch the anime and read the manga, but I prefer to use to proper Japanese terms for my story. It sounds cooler! Ok, so this story will have a question and answer time for each chapter, you just have to click review and send in your question, although critic is good too, and just so you know, feel free to abuse me! 8D the more you abuse me, the more intelligent I feel because I know I'm smarter than the abusers! I hope our attempt at humour didn't blind you! Hopefully chapter two will be up soon!