A Playdate
A Loud House Fanfiction
"Hello?"
"Hey, girl! You came! How are you?".
"I'm fine, thanks. Will you let me...?"
"Sure, sure, just let me check nobody's watching... You came by yourself, right?"
"Yes".
"Alright! Come in, pretty girl!"
After that, the small girl entered the apartment, guided by the hand of that guy she met on the internet. It looked unattended, and small. Pretty much like her, in a way. He guided her through the hallway and got to that hybrid of a living room, kitchen and food table. There were some toys around, probably from the guy himself, since they also looked more expensive that the couch she soon sat over.
"Do you want to watch some cartoons?".
"I'm fine like this. I'm not accostumed to use my recreation time on this kind of screen".
"I see, you're more of the techy type, right?"
"You could say that, yes".
"Well, luckily, I have a tablet with plenty of games! Wanna play?".
She felt insulted with that kiddy talk, but with a sigh she accepted it. She took the tablet and searched for something to keep her amused, like some science article, while the other guy did whatever. She didn't care that much. She only wanted an adult, and he wanted a little girl to play with.
Many icons of crude games about gems and movie princesses littered the screen. She wasn't all that much invested in them. She tapped on the internet icon instead, and decided to read something. When he came back, she found her awkwardly shifting around on the lousy couch, with a serious face reading something. It was kind of weird.
"You didn't like any of my games, girl?" He asked, while offering a soda can to her.
"I find those kind of games to be..." She stopped a little to think in a word that would summarize her feelings, "Crass".
"Oh, well, I'm sorry, I thought that was what cute girls like you would like" He said, sitting very close to her, caressing her shoulder with his arm around her.
"It's a good assumption, going by observable evidence", she said, not laying her eyes off the screen "But not correct in my particular case".
"I-I see..."
"I'm flattered that you think I'm cute, though" She said after the guy's grumble, in that deadpan voice she has. It seemed to please him to hear that.
"Of course you are! Your glasses make your eyes look very pretty. So, what is your name, cutie pie?" He asked, looking at her, while turning on the TV at some cartoon channel, "I because I don't think your name is Curie23, right?"
"Lisa".
"Lisa! That is a pretty name", he continued, while getting his face close to her hair.
"I can't really appreciate any beauty in it", she said, turning off the tablet.
There was an awkward silence between them. There wasn't a clear start for this playdate.
"So, do you want to play something?" He asked, still rubbing her shoulder, tightening even more the space between them.
She sighed. She knowingly went to this, but seemed like her companion didn't know that detail. She looked at him, directly in his eyes.
"See, Mr. Anon, or whatever your real name is..." She started, before sighing again, "I know why we're here. I came here because I wanted to".
"W-wait, what do you mean-?"
"You want to have sex with me".
He was already weirded out with this girl, but that statement was shocking.
"Why, how...?" He managed to muster.
"It's OK. I want it too".
"What?" He said flatly, open-mouthed. He did not expect any of this to turn out this way.
"I want to know how it feels like", She explains shortly, "I know many things, and probably more than you do. I also know that nobody else would be willing to have any kind of sexual contact with somebody like me".
"Are you actually just a little girl, and not, like, a midget or something?".
"I'm 4 years old".
"Jesus Christ".
She turns to him, and although very slightly, she breaks her stoicity. Her deadpan tone gets a soft dash of encouragement and desperation.
"It's OK, I want this to happen. That's why I searched for someone like you" She explains, looking at the guy to his eyes.
He looks at her, confused and doubtful, like asking to himself if to just go for it or not, and at the same time questioning what the hell is going on.
"Please?" She asked again. Her expression is still pretty serious, but there's a weird longing tone in her speech.
He gulps and sighs. He finally made a choice.
"OK. We'll do it. Lemme give you a kiss, cutie. We'll start slow".
With renewed spirits, one hand holding her body and other caressing her head, he leans in. She feels a little weirded out, but closes her eyes and lets everything flow. She thought of this as another experiment, and prepared herself for anything that would come.
She trembles as her lips met his'. It was a tickly, kind of moist and warm feeling. She felt close to him, intimate in a way she didn't know it could happen with somebody she didn't meet before. In a way, she felt closer to this stranger than anybody in her family, for a fleeting moment; one she didn't want to stop, but at the same time, it was something she couldn't bear anymore.
She pushed slightly off him, stopping that small kiss there. He didn't want to stop, and he pushed further, trying to catch her lips again. However, she moved her head to the side, landing a kiss on her cheek. He continued caressing her, without a care, but she managed to muster two words.
"Stop, please".
He sighed, bummed out. He didn't want to stop, But he didn't feel good just jumping over her. He got a little upset, to say the least.
"What now? You insisted so much and now you kill my mood? This is so bull..."
He was stopped to a halt by something he didn't expect to hear. It was a very quiet whimper, like the very start of a lament. Was she crying?
"I can't..." He heard from her, barely, as she covered her eyes behind her thick glasses.
He felt guilty about it. She was still a kid, right? The guy couldn't decide if he was doing something wrong or if he should just force her. He wanted this too bad.
"C'mon, we were going alright! Don't..."
She whimpered again, and the guy's hand, which was moving to her leg, slowly retracted back. He moved away from her, only laying one hand on her tiny shoulder.
"Are you OK, sweetie?" He asked, not as concerned as he was annoyed.
"Don't call me that kind of names, please" She said, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater.
There's a silence between them. She managed to stop her tears before crying out loud, but her eyes were fixed to her feet, which barely reached the edge of the sofa's cushions she was sitting over. The guy snorted, although his annoyance was becoming true concern.
"Will you tell me what happened now?" He asked to Lisa, trying to reach her eyes.
"I'm confused. I never expected to feel this way".
Her tone was becoming as stoic as before, but with a little mix of dissapointment and sadness inbetween. The guy was able to notice, and decided to inquiry further.
"I thought you wanted this to happen, didn't you?".
"I did. I still do. But..." She stopped for a moment. This was the first time she felt the need to think what she was going to say, she never felt as unsure of her own feelings as she did then. "I feel like I'm skipping many steps".
"What steps?"
"Life, years, experience. I am a very intelligent person. I am sure that ninety percent of the time, I'll be the most intelligent person in the room".
"That's high talk for a little girl, don't you think?".
"I went to college and got a PHD in many scientific fields, and I am four years old".
"OK, I'll shut up. If I managed to kiss a little girl, I'm up to believe anything at this point".
"It's hard to be around people, in my situation. Not only because I don't tend to have many intelectual equals around. It's not even that much of a problem to me, I learnt to deal with it. But this..." She then points at herself.
"That... what?"
"This body. This tiny, fragile structure of flesh and bone. My mind has already aged so much, and is trapped in here".
He didn't know what to say, and just scratched his head, avoiding looking at her. Lisa kept talking.
"But then this happens... And I'm so sure of being an adult in my own head. I'm able to calculate so many equations in a blink, discuss so many topics without ever falling short. I know what life is, I know what will happen to me through the years. I'll grow, wither and decay. But now, I'm here, believing I'm an adult that can handle things..."
Once again both remain silent. The guy had both of his hands over his own legs, and his eyes were wandering around. Lisa was sitting there, still looking at her shoes.
"I thought if I knew how it worked, it would be enough. But it isn't. I don't know why, I thought I controlled all the variables. All but my own feelings. I thought I could..." Her voice was breaking again into sadness.
"Calm down, girl. It's OK" He said, looking at her, who looked very anxious.
"I feel so inadequate, and aimless. I'm not an adult, but I don't feel like a kid..." She said almost whispering, hugging her legs "I don't fit. I want to feel like I fit".
She wiped her eyes off again, and took off her glasses to wipe them as well.
"Well, that makes two of us, girl" He sighed, letting his whole weight drop over the couch.
"Do you feel unfitting as well?" She asks, somewhat curious. It was hard to tell, with her deadpan tone.
"Are you serious? I'm a damn pedophile! Of course I fucking do!"
"Don't swear, please".
"Sorry. But YES! I DO feel enormously 'inadequate', as you said" He continued, raising his hands energically "Anyone else would think I'm a monster!".
"People would be probably right to judge you so, given the circumstances".
"That's besides the point!" He complained, looking at her "The thing is I can't help it! I am this, wether I like it or not!".
"Can you deal with that feeling?" She inquired, looking back at him "Did you learn to, somehow?"
Another awkward silence. Both knew the answer, but none wanted to spit it out.
"We're stuck with the shitty-ass cards we've been dealt" He added, breaking that silence again.
"Swearing".
"Sorry. But yeah, there's not much we can do. If years taught me anything, is that".
"So I'm just supposed to feel like this?".
"If it helps, you'll probably outgrow it in fifteen years, maybe" He concluded, sighing and looking at the ceiling, resting his arms over the couch "You'll be an actual adult at some point".
"That is still a long time, isn't it?"
"Time heals things, they say".
He just shrugged. There wasn't much more to say anymore.
"It's hard to feel like an outcast" She musters.
"It is, isn't it?" He answers, still looking at some crack on the ceiling.
Silence. Both gathered for one thing, and ended digging too deep into something they didn't expect.
Lisa wasn't happy. It was a little secret confined at the bottom of her heart. Her stoic character covered it fine. For the family, she was probably just too busy doing experiments and attending or giving lectures and seminars at college. She thought it was fine to keep it to herself. That feeling of alienation helped, in a way, so she could develop as a scientist. But being on the verge of crying in front of an absolute stranger made her think on something that couldn't be explained as just other biochemical reaction.
She didn't like that.
"I think I should leave".Lisa says, as she gets off the couch with some difficulty. She needed to think things through, somewhere else, where only she could hear her thoughts.
"You know your way out. I'm done with this, all this talk killed my mood anyways".
"Sorry for that".
"It's OK. It was probably a huge mistake in the first place. I liked the kiss though".
It wasn't very noticeable, and with the guy concentrated on whatever kind of fungi was growing on the ceiling, her blushing went unnoticed. She decided to not comment on it.
"Good bye, Mr. Anon".
"Whatever".
She disposed herself to leave, but had a slight problem just when she got to the door.
"Um..."
"You can't reach the knob, right?"
"Yes".
"Jesus fucking Christ"
"Please".
"Goddammit".
