!BEFORE YOU READ!
This fan fiction tells my own story of Milah and Killian. I am aware that some people do not like them together, or/and they do not like them as the characters. And it is perfectly fine with me. However if you are one of those people, I do not recommend you to read this story. I am also not recommending it for strong 'Captain Swan' shippers. Emma x Hook pairing is not going to happen in my story. Not now, not ever. Moreover, do not read this fic, please, if you truly do not like the idea of Killian being grown up Peter Pan, or Milah being his Wendy.
It is a story about love, however. Different kinds of love. And about sacrifice, and loss, and deep non-physical pain. This fan fiction will tell you Milah's story, Killian's story and their story – all from the very beginning. The prologue, however, tells you more modern "OUAT" story :) Just read it yourself :)
Good luck and enjoy!
Prologue:
Genre: Drama/Romance.
Rating: T.
Characters: Mainly Killian. Also partly Milah, Bae, Rumpel and unknown characters.
Pairings: Milah/Killian mainly.
WARNINGS: Language, angst, possible character's death, drama.
(1)"Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough.
You can have anything in life, if you will sacrifice everything else for it."
(2)"Love is our resistance,
they'll keep us apart and they won't stop.
Breaking us down and hold me.
Our lips must always be sealed."
Once upon a time there was a boy, who wasn't that bad at all.
"Wasn't that bad" - Killian laughed bitterly to himself at that thought. He didn't remember that boy anymore. He was gone for so long, that nothing of him was left in the dark haired man. In a man, who was now lying on the ground, coughing with his own blood. In a man, who was dying, but seemed to not care at all.
He fucked up.
He fucked up the most important thing in his life full of darkness, loneliness and evilness. He had lost everything.
His Everything.
His Wendy.
That grey-green eyed and black-ink haired little girl, full of dreams and faith in a better world. That little girl, who desired so badly for adventures and freedom; who showed passion for magical creatures and everything that others wouldn't understand. She never asked for much. All she wanted, was being herself.
His Hope.
His Friend.
His Joy.
His Rock.
The only real thing in his life. And Killian didn't even know he was missing something until he met her. The girl who became the only woman he has ever loved. He would ever love. His life truly began the day, when he met her all those years ago. And it ended the day, when she was taken away from him. Although he made so many mistakes, he was wrong so many times, they finally were together. Truly together. But she was gone now, and so was he.
(3)"If we live our life in fear,
I'll wait a thousand years
Just to see you smile again
Quell your prayers for love and peace,
you'll wake the thought police
We can hide the truth inside."
His Love.
His Soul.
His Heart.
His Mind.
His Land.
His Queen.
His Anchor.
His Humanity.
Yes, she was his everything. She meant the world to him. He had sworn to protect her, no matter what. He had proved that so many times to her. He made the mental promise to himself that no one will ever hurt or humiliate her in any way again. He loved her. Probably too much, if that possible. And yet, he was the one, who has hurt her worst. First, when he was too scared to stay with her. It was the only time when he acted like a coward, and it had to cost her so much pain. All because he didn't fucking want to grow up. The second time when he hurt her, was when he had to let her go. When he didn't stop her, when she was leaving. Leaving in order to become responsible. To grow up. She was still just a child by then, and yet, she had to grow up. The third time he hurt her, was when he finally came back. Came back for her. To her. She never told him she regrets, but deep inside he knew – she paid too much for being free. The fourth and final time he truly hurt her, was when he didn't protect her. When he desperately fought against ties and dark magic, in the end, watching her die in his arms anyway.
Her.
His Milah.
His Swallow, always watching over him. The only good thing in his life. The only thing worth growing up – she and her love. He wasn't alive anymore. He was breathing, and the organ that others called "heart" was still beating. He could drink, and smile, and fuck. But he didn't feel alive anymore. Killian died with her, all those centuries ago. He was Hook now. That fucking, crazy Captain Hook everyone has heard of, but no-one ever knew him at all. He had nothing to live for. All he wanted was revenge. For Milah's death. He didn't give a damn about his hand; it was her. She was haunting his dreams. It was her voice he has heard every night; it was her face and her dying eyes he has seen every time he was closing his eyes. She'd hate seeing him like this. She'd slap him and call him an idiot for what he became. She'd tell him that it's not worth it. That she, her death, isn't worth it. But she'd be wrong. Rumpelstiltskin had to pay for what he has done.
And he did. He finally did. Hook knew that no matter what much that Belle lad would love the Crocodile, she'd never look at him, she'd never trust him, like she used to. Not after everything she had seen and heard. The Captain made sure that she'd get to know every dark detail of Rumpelstiltskin's past. She wasn't aware how much her beloved lover has to hide. It wasn't that kind of revenge Hook wanted to take, but at least he did. He'd rather kill Belle; very slowly, very painfully, and he'd make that Coward watch. Every, damn second of it. Then, he'd watch him suffer, and finally, he'd kill him. In cold blood. There were times, when he was thinking about hurting Baelfire too. But he knew, he'd not. He wouldn't bear to feel the fear or the hatred and disgust from someone, who was so much like her. Sure, that boy was Crocodile's son – hell, he looked so much like him - but he was Milah's son as well. The last living reminder of the only person Hook ever loved, and the only person who truly loved him back. Him. The real him. The Lost Boy with no memory of himself. The pirate, whom she used to call the Lost Sea Prince. The man with such a twist story and with so many dark secrets. The overprotective and jealous lover, full of passion for her. The man, who wouldn't, who couldn't imagine his life with her gone forever. That's why she'd not blame him for what he became. Though she'd never, ever agree with his actions and new way of life.
(4)"The night has reached its end
We can't pretend
We must run, we must run
It's time to run."
For such a long period of time he was like a dead man. He was hiding himself, his endless sadness and deep anger, behind charming mask and ruthless actions. He'd stop at nothing to get his revenge. But yet, everything and everyone that reminded him, in one way or another, of Milah, was making him more... Killian-like again. However, just for a very short moment. Because that thing or person would also remind him about something, he was denying all the time – she'd never come back. She was gone. Deathly gone. If he could find a way to live his life once again, differently this time, and keeping Milah alive, he'd do anything and everything. However, in reality, it'd only be possible in another life, in a different time and place.
But now... Now he'd, he could finally say this. She was dead.
And so was he.
Without magic, he'd not survive; he didn't want to. On the one hand, he knew, he wasn't done yet. He wanted more. He desired to make Rumpelstiltskin suffer much more. No matter what. But on the other hand, he had enough. He wanted to die. It was the only thing he was truly dreaming about since long centuries. He wanted to go back to his very own, dreamed Neverland. He wanted to be free. Free with her. Somewhere, where they both belonged.
"Hook!" - he heard someone yelling. - "Hook, hold on!" - but he wasn't listening. He wasn't looking.
"What's wrong with him?" - somebody else asked.
"He was... Hell...
"...I don't..."
"...get him..."
"...late..."
He didn't hear anything else. He wasn't there anymore. He could see the land he knew so well. He could hear laughing children in the background, smell magical flowers in the air, see the Natives, the Fairies and... Good pirates. Yes, the pirates weren't always bad in Neverland. He made them like that. Captain Hook. Long lost Peter Pan, long dead Killian Jones, long...
Suddenly he heard familiar sound, immediately looking up the sky.
"Swallow" - he whispered to himself, smiling widely. He knew what it meant. He knew what was about to happen.
"There is no place like home" - they say.
And he agreed.
He finally came back home.
(5)"Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning."
I hope you liked it :) And that I've done everything right. It's my second fan fiction, I'm still learning everything! :)
Credits:
(1) "Peter Pan" by J.M Barrie
(2) "Resistance" by Muse
(3) "Resistance" by Muse
(4) "Resistance" by Muse
(5) "Peter Pan" by J.M Barrie.
I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes! It's easy to miss them :) Please, let me know :]
Thank you all for reading! :)
