Hello everyone! wow, it's the third time in a week that I post a stucky fanfic, I'm actually quite proud of myself for once!
So! I've had this idea for a while, ever since I went to Jibland and saw Sebastian Stan's panel, in which he gave a version of what would happen if Steve and Bucky went to Vormir. Ever since he talked about it, I couldn't get it out of my head! Which is why I wrote this little something, because I like to make myself sad obviously.
It's unbeta'd because I'm just too excited to post this and make my friends suffer, but let me know if my grammar or English is way too awful for your eyes... it's one in the morning and I drank wayyy too much tea before posting this. I'm sorry.
I hope you will still enjoy this! x
"So. This is Vormir."
The landscape was probably the most beautiful thing Steve had ever seen. For a moment, he forgot to breathe as the pinkish land washed in warm orange sun rays uncovered itself in front of his very eyes when he took off his nanosuit mask. The entire area was dead silent, yet it wasn't heavy or uncomfortable for either Steve or Bucky. The atmosphere was heavy though as both soldiers started marching towards the only mountain on the planet, drawn by its power and no doubt by the power of the stone itself.
The march to the top was silent, both Steve and Bucky looking at each other from time to time with an hopeful smile tugging at the corner of their lips. After the snap, times had been hard for everyone, but Bucky knew the Avengers had taken their failure personally. Most of the fighters in Wakanda had been snapped out of existence like the rest of the world, and the team's hearts still ached when they thought about all the lives they had failed to save. Out of their team, only Steve, Natasha, and Bucky remained. Bruce had gone back to his researches, became Professor Hulk (and yes, it still was weird to Bucky to see him like this), Thor had disappeared in New Asgard, and Tony started a life away from everyone else with Pepper. Finding out that Wanda, Clint, Sam, T'Challa and the guardians had been snapped by the stone had taken a toll on everyone, and no one could really blame them.
But then Scott had came. Five years after, babbling about time travel, and installing hope in everyone's lives again. In retrospect, reuniting the team had been the most complicated part of the whole plan, especially when it came to Thor and Tony. Steve's heart had broken when he'd realised how far into depression his Norse God friend was, and Bucky could only understand such a destructive behavior on his part. Tony had been afraid of losing everything, and once again both soldiers couldn't blame him. Yet, they had found a middle ground, and started looking for the stones.
It was almost comical to realise that such a tragedy had brought people together in a way that even fate wouldn't have done. Bucky suddenly found himself seated next to a talking raccoon taking notes on the stones on his right, Thanos' own daughter on his left, all of this while facing the man that had tried to kill him for murdering his parents a long time ago. While the situation was not funny in any way, it warmed everyone's hearts to realise that at the end of all things, they put their differences aside and came together to face the same evil.
"You're okay there, Buck?" Steve asked, stopping dead in his tracks to face the other man.
But while they had lost a lot , Bucky couldn't ignore the fact that he had also gained just as much. After the civil war created by Steve when he'd faced 117 country for him, Bucky had gone under for a little while for Shuri to remove the programming in his head. He had woken up to an absent Steve, and a upcoming fight against Thanos. It was only after the snap that both soldiers had be able to find themselves again, finally. It had taken 70 years and way too many years of torture and murders for Bucky Barnes to find his way to Steve Rogers again, and they had not wasted another second upon realising that their lives could have been separated again by the simple snap of a titan's fingers.
"I'm fine" he smiled, letting his gaze wander on the other man's face. The last five years had modified Steve's face, the lines around his eyes more prominent than before and the look in his eyes harder than it was. But he was still as gorgeous as ever, and Bucky raised his flesh hand to caress his cheek, missing the beard Steve had refused to grow again.
"You know I love you, right?" he asked, eyes boring into Steve's.
Steve smiled, face warm and so full of emotions. "Of course I know. I love you too, Buck."
Living in 2018, Bucky had found, had its perks. Apart from the internet, good medicine, fast foods and other material advantages, it also meant that no one cared if he decided to marry a man. After the snap, half the world had been left with an open wound that never really closed, governments and countries had been shaken to their chore and even the media found themselves incapable of keeping up with the "after". No one really paid attention to the earth's mightiest heroes anymore, especially knowing that most of them were gone. Steve and Bucky had decided to get married two years after the snap, and only Nat and Bruce were present. This union had been long overdue, but all things considered, it happened at the right time for both of them.
"Where do you think this stone is?" Bucky asked when they resumed their pace, Steve's hand brushing Bucky as they climbed. "Hidden in a rock at the top, or in plain sight?"
Steve huffed. "Somehow, I don't think the stone will be in plain sight for everyone walking by to take it."
"Well, it could. No one in their right mind would climb this mountain anyway."
Steve's laugh resonated in the vast space, warming up Bucky's insides as he cast a glance at his husband. He felt selfish sometimes, when he thought about what people had lost and what he'd gained. Of course he and Steve still mourned their friends and family, but everytime he woke up next to this man he'd been in love with since they were just kids, he couldn't stop asking himself why him, of all people, had been so lucky.
They reached the top in less than twenty minutes, super soldiers metabolisms helping with the ache in their muscles in the last few meters. For a few moments, they both looked at each other in confusion before they heard the voice.
"Welcome, Steve, son of Sarah" a low rumble started, "and James, son of George. We meet again."
The whisper froze Steve to its chore as he turned around slowly.
"Johann Schmidt" he realised as the ghost uncovered his head, the red skull unmistakably recognisable. "How-"
"I sought the stones, a lifetime ago." he cut Steve, black eyes boring into the soldier. "I was casted out by the tesseract, banished me here to guide others to a treasure I cannot possess "
Steve felt Bucky move behind him, and the reassuring feeling of his lover's hand press against his spine.
"Well if this isn't a pity" the dark haired soldier said, eyes searching Steve's to make sure that his husband was alright. "where is the soul stone?" he pressed when Steve held his gaze.
"You should know that it extracts a terrible price." the ghost pressed on, eyes never leaving both men.
Bucky's hand tightened on Steve's suit, and his voice was emotionless and cold when he replied.
"And we come prepared. Take us to the stone."
The red skull seemed unphased. "We all think that, at first."
To Steve and Bucky's surprise, though, he didn't object any further. Both supersoldier followed him as he took them up the last few meters to the top of the mountain, leading to a small flat platform surrounded by two enormous pillars.
"What you seek lies in front of you" finally spoke Schmidt again, stopping at the edge of the mountain without looking at any of them. "As does what you fear."
Slowly, keeping a careful eye on the red skull as he moved, Steve let his gaze drop down. Under him, the mountain was ending in a curious half circle that looked like a platform carved directly into the stone.
"What is this?" he asked, brows frowned.
This time, the stonekeeper looked straight at him when he answered.
"It is the price. The soul stone holds a special place amongst the infinity stones. You could even say… a certain wisdom."
He stopped, looking between Steve and Bucky in dreadful silence.
"What does it needs?" Bucky spoke up, walking up to Steve. His hand found his lover's, reassuring. "What do we need to do?"
"To ensure that whoever possess is it understands its power, the stone demands a sacrifice."
Next to Steve, Bucky tensed.
"What kind of sacrifice?" he asked, fingers tightening on his gun.
"In order to take the stone" Schmidt said slowly, "you must lose that what you love."
This declaration was followed by a heavy silence, only disturbed by the whisper of the wind around them. The snow was gathering at their feet, covering the rock in a thin white line that made this entire scenario even more surreal. For a long moment, both soldiers held their breath at the revelation.
"You're lying" Bucky finally spoke up, breaking the heavy silence.
He let go of Steve's hand to take a good hold on his gun, pointing it straight at the red skull's head while marching up to him. He stopped when they were both face to face, chests almost touching as the only thing standing between them was the length of the barrel.
"You're lying, and I'm gonna fucking blow your face off."
The stonekeeper didn't seem fazed in the slightest as he glared at the soldier cooly.
"You cannot kill me, James" he finally said, voice flat "as you cannot escape your destiny. If you wish to leave with the soul stone, you need to sacrifice that what you love."
"Bullshit!" Bucky screamed, hands tightening on his gun. He realised that he was trembling, the tip of his gun shaking in front of Schmidt's eyes.
It was a gentle hand on his shoulder that tore his gaze away from his target.
"Bucky" Steve whispered slowly.
The brunette eventually lowered his gun, turning around to face his lover. The other man was looking at him with a peaceful expression, eyes wet but resigned.
"It's okay, Bucky."
Bucky frowned. "What? No, Steve. No, there's no way we're giving up and satisfying this maniac!"
Steve shook his head.
"He's right, Bucky. Think about it. Nebula said that Thanos came here with his daughter, and came back without. He sacrificed her, Buck. He threw her off the edge of this cliff to get the stone."
Bucky's gun fell on the floor when he realised what it implied.
"No, Steve. No, no! There's no way I'm losing you here, not tonight, not like this." he groaned, fingers finding the front of Steve's suit to grip it tightly, keeping him close. "It's out of the question, do you hear me?"
"But we have to" Steve whispered, eyes growing wet. "We have to, to save everyone. We owe it to Sam, to Wanda, to Clint… we owe it to the entire world, Buck."
Bucky shook his head from side to side, fingers tightening on Steve's suit. "No, Steve. No. I can't, I can't… there's no world for me without you."
The blonde let out a sob as he pressed his lips against Bucky's in a tender but desperate kiss. The brunette's hands were still tightly buried in the material of the Captain America suit, but Steve's hands found the back of Bucky's neck as they deepened the kiss. For a couple of minutes, it felt like everything was going to be okay again. It felt like they were back in the Avengers headquarters, kissing in the soft glow of the morning sun as they woke up cuddled against each other. But reality came crashing back on them as soon as they parted for air, the snow dancing around them as it slowly fell reminding them of where they were.
"Don't you dare" Bucky growled when Steve tried to move away, "after all I've done, I should be the one who jumps."
Steve's eyes bulged almost comically as he shook his head firmly.
"No" he said, voice hard. "there's no way you're jumping that cliff, Bucky. I watched you fall once, and I'm not gonna do it again. I can't do it again."
"I'm not listening to anything you have to say, Stevie" Bucky whispered, a tired smile tugging the corner of his lips. "I'm not going back on my decision. You deserve to live, Steve Rogers. You deserve to see the world reborn again, and you deserve to be a part of it."
Steve yanked himself away from Bucky with strength, retrieving Bucky's gun from the floor.
"If you don't want me to blow your kneecap" he said, voice strained as he pointed the gun at his lover's legs, "you stay right where you are."
Bucky tilted his head. "Really, Stevie? You really think this is gonna stop me from preventing you to kill yourself?"
In a blink, the brunette was on the other man, breaking the head of the gun in half with his metal fist. Steve let out an audible gasp as the soldier grabbed his arm, twisting it to make him fall on the snow covered rock beneath them.
"I won't let you jump of that cliff, Steve" he groaned, eyes wary. "I told you, you're not dying today."
But as he let go of Steve's arm, making a move to jump to the edge of the platform where they were standing, Steve made him lose his balance as he kicked his ankle. He fell with a wince, the metal of his arm making a dull noise as it came in contact with the ground.
"And I told you" replied Steve as he jumped on his feet, pushing his feet against Bucky's chest to keep him on the floor, "I'm not letting you jump."
Both super soldiers glared at each other, realising that neither of them would let go. Bucky used his strength to flip himself, making Steve lose his balance. The brunette grabbed his lover before he could near the edge though, pinning him with his own body, straddling his hips.
"Steve" he begged, eyes wet. "Please, Steve. You know it's how it's supposed to be. With everything I've done, with Hydra and Shield and the Accords… you know I should be the one jumping."
He used his metal hand to hold the blonde's arms against the floor, using his weight to overpower him. His flesh thumb grazed the side of Steve's face, whipping the treacherous tear that escaped his baby blue eyes.
"If you do this" Steve croaked, "I will follow you. I swear, Bucky. I'm not letting you fall again, I promised myself that a long time ago. If you jump, I jump with you."
Bucky gritted his teeth together, the muscles in his jaw tightening. "Steve, for fuck's sake!"
"I can't let you die! Why can't you just accept this? It's better this way, Bucky. Ever since I woke up, I've enjoyed life. I lived so many things, made so many friends. I had a good life, Buck. But you didn't. And after Hydra, after everything, you deserve to be a part of this new world."
The soldier let out a whine that he muffled against his lover's lips, unable to stop himself from kissing him one last time. He knew that he wouldn't manage to change Steve's mind, no matter what he said or did. So he knew that the only way out was with a fight. The delicate caress of Steve's tongue against his own was just as much of a curse as a blessing, their tears mingling when Bucky pulled back and pressed their foreheads together.
"You have to live" he whispered, opening his eyes to look into his lover's. "You have to live, and fight, and win, Stevie. Only you can"
He didn't waste a single second as he jumped off his lover, running to the edge of the cliff without looking back. Which was probably the reason why he didn't see Steve run behind him before grabbing his shoulder as they bot h stumbled upon the edge of the rock together. Out of instincts, Bucky used his metal hand to grab a steady rock, hanging them both above the hard rock below, as his flesh arm tightened around Steve.
"Fuck, Steve!" Bucky yelled, feeling tears run freely down his cheeks now. "Can't you just do as I say for one goddamn second?"
"I told you I wouldn't let you jump without me" Steve replied, letting go of Bucky's shoulder so that the only thing keeping him from falling was Bucky's arm. "And I meant it. I'm not letting you die on me again, James Buchanan Barnes. You're going to go home, and you're going to win this war, do you hear me?"
Bucky let out a broken cry as he felt his limb beginning to shake, the weight of Steve's body making his shoulders ache. As Steve offered no resistance, his body was slipping from his grasp, aided with gravity and weight. Simple physics, that's what Steve would say in other circumstances. Because he loved to tease Bucky, whenever he could, with his cheeky grin and sparkling blue eyes.
"Damn you" he whispered, broken and defeated. "Damn you for doing this to me, Steve!"
"I love you" Steve replied with a smile, genuine and oh so beautiful. "I love you so much, Bucky. Thank you for making my life worth living."
Bucky shook his head, ignoring the pain spreading through his body as both his arms weakened.
"I love you too, Steve. Please, please don't do this to me." he sobbed, looking down at him with pleading eyes. "I can't go on without you."
Steve put a hand against Bucky's wet cheek, caressing the skin terderly. "It's gonna be okay, love. You'll always have me, right there."
He let his hand slide from his cheek to his heart, gently caressing the black suit that matched his own.
"I love you, Bucky."
And with these words, he grabbed Bucky's flesh hand and twisted it painfully, forcing the other man to let go of him.
" Steve! "
Bucky woke up with a gasp, sitting down with automatism. His head was pounding just as bad as his heart was aching, deep and hollow in his chest, and it took him a moment to remember what had happened. The low lights around him gave nothing of his surroundings away, unphasing him even more.
The stone. The red skull. The cliff.
Steve .
Bucky let out a loud sob that shook his entire body as he curled on himself, the images of his lover's eyes closing one last time as he accepted his fate carved into his mind. He cried for a long time, letting himself express the deep pain in his chest, and only when he calmed down a little did he realise that he was sitting in a pond. He wasn't on the mountain anymore, and the snow had stopped falling around him. Yet, the violet light of the sun and the multiple moons were still there, low in the sky above his shaking form.
He let his gaze fall on his metal arm as something caught the corner of his eyes, slowly opening the fingers to reveal the soul stone, bright and so beautiful against the metal palm. Another sob shook his body and he closed his eyes, painfully aware of the tears sliding down his face.
The time wasn't right for tears and mourning. He had made a promise, and he would make sure that his husband hadn't sacrificed his life for nothing. It was with shaky fingers that he clicked on the time bracelet, entering the coordinate that he and Steve had learn by heart before leaving.
As he materialised in the Avengers headquarters, safe and sound in 2023, his legs gave up and he fell down on his knees. In his hand, the soul stone was heavier than ever. He felt drained, empty, dead. He barely registered Nat's voice -or was it Tony's?- as he let out another ugly, loud sob.
"Bucky, where's Steve?" Nat asked, louder this time.
He became painfully aware of the fact that she was shaking his shoulder, kneeling in front of him in her time suit. Her beautiful face was twisted with worry, and as soon as he raised his head to held her gaze, she understood. He could see it in the way her eyes widened, afraid of her own understanding and bleeding with emotions. She let go of his shoulders, gaze unfocused as it slipped down.
"No" someone behind her, probably Thor, stammered loudly. "No, he can't… He can't be..."
Bucky shook his head, pushing the soul stone into Nat's hand with trembling fingers. He could feel the nausea coming, his stomach rolling in waves as he took one last glance at the soft orange glow of the precious artefact.
"A soul for a soul" he whispered, closing his eyes as tears began streaming down his face again.
