This is somewhat pointless; I just was inspired by a Tumblr post.


"Come on James, we need to get this done," Remus said, indicating the large pile of homework.

"I guess you're right, Moony," replied James, as they said in the Head Common Room. One bonus about becoming Head Boy was that they had a Common Room to themselves, with no pesky first years to interrupt their homework time. And being seventh years, the Marauders had even more homework to do than usual. Failure to hand in homework resulted in a double detention in seventh year, but with Professor McGonagall, it was likely to be a quadruple detention.

Sirius walked in and threw his bag on the floor. James could tell that he was in a foul mood.

"What's up, Padfoot?" James asked.

"Marlene McKinnon dumped me," he grumbled, ruffling through his bag and taking out his transfiguration homework.

"That can be fixed," James dismissed, "but the amount of time we wasted on not doing our homework can't be!"

Sirius made a rude hand gesture to his best friend.

"Anyway," said Remus, "it would be great if he had a legitimate excuse."

"The dog ate it?" Sirius suggested innocently. His friends, however, didn't notice the true meaning behind the implication.

"Don't be silly. Only a stupid dog would eat transfiguration homework! It would probably get indigestion."

"I bet you it wouldn't get indigestion," Sirius challenged.

Remus and James rolled their eyes.

Suddenly, a huge black dog was attacking their homework, including his own. Pieces of paper were being shredded left, right and centre, and the dog chewed it all up, growling when Remus tried to pull away the homework.

"SIRIUS!" James roared, as every last piece of homework was consumed by his best friend.

Sirius assumed his usual form and expelled a particularly large belch.

"Ah, that was lovely."


When the three boys went into Transfiguration the next day without a shred of homework, McGonagall rounded on them.

"Why haven't you handed in your homework? Is there a good reason?"

"Yes, Miss," Remus began politely, "the dog ate it."

McGonagall scoffed. "That is the oldest and lamest excuse in the book."

James opened his mouth in outrage. "I swear, professor! That is what truly happened!"

McGonagall, however, was looking at Sirius. "Do you have the same excuse as Mr Lupin and Mr Potter?"

Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets and grinned. "No, Minnie. I ate my homework."

Professor McGonagall put her hands up in anger. "Do you three take me for a fool?"

Before he could control his mouth, Sirius replied with, "Is that a trick question?"

"Be quiet, Mr Black. So are you two telling me that a dog at your homework," McGonagall stated, pointing at Remus and James, "and you are telling me that you ate your own homework."

"YES!" the three boys chorused.

Unknown to Professor McGonagall, the dog really did eat the homework.