I thought I saw a Tweetie Bird
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
All rights to Tweetie Bird and Disney Characters NOT MINE. Not making one red cent off of this. Weird hobby. Doesn't hurt you one bit.
Years ago, on Halloween I was shopping at Woolworth's (tells you how long ago that was)when I saw a kid dressed in a homemade Tweetie bird costume. Naturally, I said: "I thought I saw a tweetie bird" His Mom, not to be outdone replied: "You did! You did! You did saw a tweetie bird!"
Birdwatchers of every possible stripe were descending on Duckburg in droves. The incredibly rare, possibly the only one left, tweetie bird had been spotted in Duckburg. Mr. McDuck wanted to capture it for his private zoo.
Launchpad knew all too well the poor bird was very likely to end up stuffed and mounted otherwise. And Mr. McDuck's private zoo is naturalized and pleasant even for it's residents. So Launchpad was reluctantly OK with this.
()() It beats the alternative.()() Launchpad sighed.
Launchpad wished it was safe for rare animals like the tweetie bird to live in the wild, but what are you going to do?
Lots and lots of people tried to catch the tweetie bird. Including Gizmoduck. But all they accomplished was to scare the poor thing. But Launchpad had learned a thing or two from the "Scrooge's Pet" incident.
"Webby, can you help me catch the tweetie bird without hurting it?" Launchpad asked. "You're very good with animals."
Webby agreed. I came along to take photos of the rare bird and it's capture, to prove we didn't hurt it one bit if for not for any other reason. Launchpad took his plane/glider and flew over Duckburg until he spotted the bird.
Then Launchpad turned off the engine and glided the plane/glider towards the rare bird. The plane/glider was a bright, shiny yellow, just like the tweetie bird. The lonesome bird mistook the yellow craft for another tweetie bird, especially since it was silent like a bird and not noisy like a plane.
As we flew closer to the tweetie bird, Webby coaxed it into the plane. Webby's sweet voice and sweet appearance and the bird seed she offered it got the bird to enter the plane and then into the canary cage of it's own free will.
Launchpad then took the priceless bird to Mr. McDuck.
"If it wasn't for Webby, I would of never captured it. Webby got the bird to come to US." Launchpad stated.
Webby beamed.
"You thought of using a plane that can glide so well we could get close to the birdie without scaring it. Otherwise, I wouldn't of been able to get the bird to come to us." Webby interjected.
"Very good job, all of you. Now, put the bird into me Money Bin." Mr. McDuck ordered.
"Your Bin? Not your zoo?" Launchpad asked.
"It's just for a few hours. I'm getting the security for my private zoo upgraded so the tweetie bird will be safe as taxes." Mr. McDuck stated " A lot of people will be after the tweetie bird. I'll put a cloth over the cage so the bird can have a nice nap. My zoo will be ready by the time you're back."
"Back? From where?" asked Launchpad.
"From the Amazon. Another tweetie bird has been spotted there. Hopefully of the opposite gender to my tweetie bird. I want you to capture that bird. And no, you can not take me Webby with you. You have to catch the bird yourself." Mr. McDuck said.
"OK." I said.
"You have an idea about how to catch it, don't you?" Launchpad asked me.
"Yup." I replied.
"OK, now you got me curious. Sharan and I will catch your bird, Mr. McDee." Launchpad said.
So, we flew down in one of Launchpad's jet .
"You want to tell me how you plan on catching this tweetie bird?" Launchpad asked.
"I took movies of the tweetie bird we already caught. I figure this one is likely to be lonely. If it sees what looks and sounds like another tweetie bird, it will come to investigate." I replied.
So, we found a place to land, then we camouflaged the plane with branches and leaves. Inside the door of the plane, I showed the film of the first tweetie bird against a curtain. The second bird came to investigate and was caught in a butterfly net.
But...by the time we got back, Mr. McDuck's tweetie bird was missing...along with most of the money in the Money Bin. A huge, gaping hole was left in the Bin and nobody, including Gizmoduck, knew what the bleep had happened.
"I was on duty in front of the Bin the whole time. I saw nobody approaching, neither did the other guards. Then an explosion came, debris rained down...by the time I could see anything, it was over. " Giz reported.
"Sir, we've looked at the damage and this explosion came from INSIDE your Bin. Nobody broke into the Bin, some kind of bomb was somehow brought into the Bin." the experts told Mr. McDuck.
"Great. NOW what do we do?" Launchpad asked.
"Perhaps I could be of assistance?" The second tweetie bird asked.
"YOU TALK?" we chorused.
"I am NOT an ordinary bird. I am from another dimension. I am a ...what is the local term...ah, yes, police officer. My name is Officer Tweet. The other "tweetie bird" is from my world, but is a criminal. I came here to capture her. " Officer Tweet began.
"She is know as "Magpie". Magpie warps thur wormholes to unsuspecting worlds, who have never seen a bird like her. Magpie is mistaken for a rare,endangered bird and caught. Magpie has robbed countless zoos and countless rich men who took her to a private zoo. Some intended to stuff and mount her so THEY might have deserved it." Officer Tweet continued.
"I was sent thur a wormhole to capture her, but was accidentally sent to the WRONG part of this world. That happens sometimes with worlds we are unfamiliar with. Help me capture Magpie and I will help you regain your money." Officer Tweet offered.
"But I do not know where this Magpie of yours took me money..." Mr. McDuck began.
"Mr. McDee, maybe that's why his people sent Officer Tweet to the Amazon in the first place. It's a perfect place for a rare bird to hide. There's plenty of rare birds and animals there and very few people. Maybe Officer Tweet was sent to the right place...but at the WRONG time?" Launchpad suggested.
"Hmm. Magpie could hide out in the Amazon in peace...but the Amazon is a big place. Ah! Where EXACTLY in the Amazon did you first materialize?" Mr. McDuck asked.
"You think I went where she is going? My bosses are very good...yes, let's check out the possibility they figured out where she would go but I got there too early." Officer Tweet replied.
So...Launchpad flew us there. I came along to take photos for the Duckburg Daily News. I took over the helm after Mr. McDuck fell asleep so Launchpad could sneak in a nap. After Launchpad landed perfectly (despite Mr. McDuck's comments otherwise) we looked around and saw nothing but Amazon jungle.
"I smell gold!" Mr. McDuck stated. "Hmm. These stones are limestone. I bet there are caves underneath here!"
We soon found an entrance to some caves. Mr. McDuck still smelled gold and he led us.
"Isn't this just a tad too easy?" I worried.
"No. Magpie made a big mistake. She did na take me Lucky Dime. As long as I still have old Number One safe in me vault, I still have my luck." Mr. McDuck replied.
"Magpie must have mistaken it for an ordinary dime." I said.
We went down the cave for quite some time when the cave changed. It had been a natural cave, rough, dirty and uneven. THIS cave was smooth, clean and even.
"THIS cave is man-made!" Launchpad sputtered.
"Really, Launchpad? I wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't pointed that out." Mr. McDuck replied sarcastically.
"Hey, the caves were natural until now. And we are very far down. I was just surprised, that's all." Launchpad shrugged.
Fortunately, just then, Mr. McDuck spotted the glint of gold up ahead.
"Me Gold! Me Money!" yelled Mr. McDuck.
Mr. McDuck jumped into the pile of gold and cash and dove thur it a few times.
"Yes, it's all here. All that Magpie took." Mr. McDuck said.
"Mr. McDee? There are more caves. And more gold." Launchpad stated.
"Eh? Yes, I do smell more gold. And an unfamiliar smell, but almost as lovely." Mr. McDuck replied.
We entered an adjoining cave and found more gold and money.
"Not mine. I best find out who it belongs to and return it. Perhaps I'll get a reward." Mr. McDuck said.
We went into the next adjoining cave and found it full of a strange metal, as iridescent as a rock dove's neck. It turned different colors as the light hit it differently.
"Why, I've never seen this metal before!" Mr. McDuck marveled.
"I don't think it's an Earth metal." I said.
"It's not. I've hid my booty here for years. I should of never broken my rule of not robbing on the planet where I hide my treasures. But I couldn't resist the temptation to rob you where so many failed to do so." said another tweetie bird, Magpie.
"Ah! Magpie, I presume." Mr. McDuck said.
"Not my given name. But I've been called that for so long, it will do." Magpie replied. "So you have found me. But you have not yet captured me."
"Wait! Where did you get this strange metal?" Mr. McDuck interrupted, showing Magpie a piece of the curious metal.
"A asteroid not far from here. I found lots of it there. Otherwise, it's a lifeless dust bowl." Magpie sniffed.
"Why are doing wasting time stealing?!If you found it and nobody lives there, it's legally yours! You could sell this metal and make all the money you like!" Mr. McDuck demanded.
"I only know how to steal! I'm very good at it! I don't know how to run a business!" Magpie answered.
"I have caught you, now!" Officer Tweet said.
Officer Tweet had taken advantage of Magpie's being distracted to put something akin like handcuffs on Magpie.
"You shall be taught how to run a business, how to legally sell the stuff you have legally found. We do not waste time punishing wrongdoers. Only teaching them new habits , new behaviors helps." Officer Tweet said.
We weren't sure we liked the sound of that...was he talking "reprogramming"? But it was none of our business and if it actually WORKS...
"Let me when I can buy some of this metal." Mr. McDuck said.
The End.
