Resolve
Being out of touch with reality was a constant in his life, I bet. I bet he was the type who knew everything about anything. But couldn't talk to a girl. Couldn't order his own food at a restaurant or answer the phone without knowing who was on the other end of the line. I bet he was a shy little boy. I bet he wasn't even curious about the world outside.
Outside of what? Well maybe, there wasn't a physical separation…
But I bet he built up walls. And with the resources he had, I bet he convinced everyone else that they were necessary. They were needed, in order to function as they wanted him to. He had to be that way. I bet it killed him on the inside that he closed himself off like that. I bet he felt guilty that he put people though all this trouble just because he was selfish.
But maybe… This is all wishful thinking. And maybe he was just the stoic, selfish, enigma he portrayed.
I guess there's not much I can verify with him. I didn't know him beyond a "Hi Ryuuzaki-kun!" and a kiss on the cheek on one occasion. Besides, I vowed to kill him. And in hindsight, I regret thinking about it so much.
And by it I mean his life. I would think about it quite a lot back then, after I forgot his name. Thinking that maybe the more I thought about him, the more it would coax out that vital piece of information. The only thing accomplished by thinking about him though, was that I began fostering some emotions. The kind of emotions that make normal people do stupid and rash things. 'But I'm not normal people!' I would tell myself. Always having to strengthen my resolve… 'I'm the second Kira!' 'L is the enemy!'
Oh and you thought Light had me thoroughly brainwashed… far far from it. But.
I had chosen my side, there was no going back on that. My character would not allow me to just abandon my cause over affection, a fickle emotion.
I had to consider what would be lost if I sided with L. If I killed Light to save him. L would live and society would start to decay yet again. And if I stayed on my course, there was a possibility that the world would change. Drastically.
And in the long-run, I, a solitary person, I don't matter in the least. But I, the second Kira, helped create a new world…
This, even without being recognized for it, is more honorable than stabbing someone in the back for a love that probably wouldn't happen.
---
Misa
Well. That was me. Writing. Surprise!
I was up late last night just... getting this out of my head. It was just sitting in there doing nothing, so I wrote it down. I have a lot of these sitting around... I write too much. You should review and tell me how much I suck... :3
-Jordan Von Shotgun
And on a side note: Yes, I believe Misa is pretty smart, just not as smart as L and Light... blahblah words.
