A/N: Hi there! This is the first story I've ever posted on ffnet, so wish me luck! I've been really obsessed with One Piece recently and I really love my perfect lil' Zoro-chan, so I couldn't help but write a self-insert to quench my thirst, if you know what I mean.

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, some mature language, sexual situations and innuendo, and possibly eventual sex…?

Disclaimer: I wish it wasn't so, but I'm afraid I hold no legal rights to One Piece or any of its characters. All I really own is my OC…

Now then… let's get this show on the road!

"Hey, Luffy! Slow down!" A feminine voice rang out. The market was unaffected, all but one patron turning at the sound. I was the only one who seemed to notice at all until a man in a straw hat came barreling down the street.

My eyes widened, though, when I realized he was headed straight at the vendor I was purchasing from. The collision was nothing short of a spectacle. He crashed heavily into me, sending me flying. Screams came tumbling out of my mouth just as my groceries tumbled out of my basket. I didn't fly far, bracing myself for an impact that hurt more than I was expecting.

"Guh..." I groaned in pain.

"LUFFY! Can't you see you just hit someone?! Idiot!"

It was the same voice as before. Definitely a girl. Then came the sound of a fist making contact. Another voice, likely belonging to this 'Luffy' character, replied.

"OWW! Nami, what was that for?!"

"Stupid! Watch where you're going!"

That last voice was new, deeper and more masculine. I opened my eyes as I felt the absence of solid ground under me. The first thing I saw was the face of a man with blonde hair over one eye. He said, "Oh~! My apologies, mademoiselle! My captain has caused you injury and this cannot be forgiven! I will fight him for your honor!"

Hearing his words, I grabbed his collar with one hand. "No! Please don't fight. I think it was my fault anyway. And you can put me down now."

The blonde nodded and set me back on my feet.

"Ow ow ow ow ow!" I whined, holding my left foot up off the ground. "I think I've sprained my ankle..."

At this, he kicked the straw hat over the head, yelling something like, "HOW COULD YOU!"

The only female in the group walked up to me and offered her apologies.

"I'm so sorry about this. We'll pay for your ruined groceries. If you like, you can come to our ship and we'll have our doctor take a look at your injuries."

Touched by her sympathy, I bowed. When I stood straight again, a few tears were rolling down my cheeks. It must have bothered the blonde man because he started kicking his captain again. He was saying, "SCUM! YOU MADE HER CRY!"

I quickly wiped my tears and introduced myself.

"My name is Marie! Please take care of me!"

"Nice to meet you, Marie. I'm Nami. The moron who hurt you is Luffy. The blonde one-"

Nami was cut off. "The pleasure is all mine, Marie-chan~! My name is Sanji, at your service!" He kneeled down, taking my hand and kissing it. Nami didn't seem to mind that she was interrupted, though, and continued as if it hadn't happened.

"-And the brute with the scowl on his face is Zoro."

My smile fell. Zoro? Seeing that he carried three katanas on his hip, I was sure of it.

"You couldn't possibly mean... Roronoa Zoro?!"

"Ah? What of it? You got a problem?" He glared down at me coldly. I started trembling when faced with his stare. I felt the tears resurfacing, only this time out of fear. I didn't even see that Sanji had gone to kick Zoro and a fight broke out between them. A hand landed on my shoulder and Nami spoke to me.

"Hey, don't cry! Zoro may have a bad reputation and an even worse face, but he isn't so bad. He won't hurt you or anything. Just give him a chance and you'll see he's no that scary."

Nami's speech and her hand on my shoulder calmed me down. My tears receded. I smiled once more, feeling better already.

"Thank you, Nami-chan! I trust you."

"Wait, 'Nami-chan?' Where'd the '-chan' come from?"

"Well, you're so nice...So, you're Nami-chan!"

All the commotion had me completely forgetting about my ankle. When I stepped on it, I cried out. Sanji ran back to me and put his hands on my upper arms to steady me.

"Marie-chan, are you alright? Please allow me carry you to the ship!" Sanji pleaded. I weighed my options. Being in pain versus being embarrassed. Nami advised me.

"It's fine to let him carry you, right? Sanji loves to do this kind of thing, so don't push yourself."

"Oh! Alright then, since Nami-chan says it's fine. I'll take you up on that offer, Sanji-chan!"

Sanji looked quite happy when I called him "Sanji-chan" and he jumped at the opportunity. He picked me up bridal style and carried me closer to the rest of the group. Luffy waved at me as we neared.

"Hey! I'm Luffy! I'm going to be the pirate king!" He shouted with a toothy grin on his face. My first thoughts were that I've just been attacked and kidnapped by pirates, but...

"Pirate king, huh? Nami-chan, you aren't pirates, are you? You're way too nice to be scoundrels of the sea, right?"

Nami only gave me a firm nod in reply. I was speechless, but then I began to struggle in Sanji's grasp.

"HOLD ON, PLEASE! DON'T KILL ME! I SWEAR I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY! AND I WON'T TELL! I REALLY WO'NT SAY ANYTHING IF YOU LET ME GO! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"

Sanji easily kept hold of me, even as I started beating on his chest with all my might. All of a sudden, my wrists were caught. It was Zoro who held me totally still, even as I fought him. I looked at his face, and his angry look pushed me to tears again. Sanji growled at him as I sniffled and started to whine.

"No, wait! Don't cry! We aren't going to hurt you!" Zoro tried to explain, letting my wrists fall. I sniffled again, though I wasn't really crying anymore. His somewhat frazzled expression made me giggle.

"Okay. Zoro-chan, you're a lot nicer than you look! I apologize if I offended you by crying at your face earlier..."

Zoro was dumbfounded, then he turned shocked.

"Huh?! What did you call me?! Why are you calling me something like that!" He shouted.

"That's because you're a sweet guy, Zoro-chan! And everyone knows that cute people should be referred to as '-chan!'"

Zoro stood stock still, but a light blush bloomed on his cheeks. Sanji was the first to notice.

"Oh, what's this? Is Zoro blushing? Have you never been complimented by a beautiful lady before? It's no surprise with your ugly mug."

"You're one to talk! Your face looks just like a giant tomato!" Zoro shot back at him. As they fought, I tried thinking of a way to defuse the situation, but Nami beat me to it. She fixed them both with a hard glare. They immediately separated and we all headed off toward the harbor.

AN: So how do you like it? This is the first fanfiction I've written in a long, long, LONG time. I hope you'll enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.