Hi everyone! I can't believe how long I've been working on this fic- it's taken me five weeks so far and it's still not finished! I'd love to hear what you think of it if you have a minute! X
"I have three sisters." Joan told Annie. She did.
One of them was standing in front of her.
1982
"Rose!" Joan exclaimed, exasperated. Her younger sister grinned at her
"Yes sister dearest?" Rosie asked sweetly. Joan glared at her and gestured to the baby in her arms. "Why does Annie have blue paint all over her?" she demanded. Rose shrugged.
"She wanted to be a smurf?" she suggested. Joan frowned and narrowed her eyes at them. "She's a year old, Rosie, she doesn't even know what a smurf is. Why'd you paint her?"
"'Cause I thought if she were blue then nobody would wanna adopt her and she could stay with us." Mumbled Rosie looking at her feet. Joan groaned.
"Rose!" she cried.
Rose scowled. "What? You're just going to let some stranger adopt her? At least i'm trying to do something." She crossed her arms.
"Aw, we've been over this!" Joan sighed. She sat down next to her sister, placing her baby sister on her lap.
"We could have just stayed at home. We were doing fine." Rosie pouted unhappily, crossing her arms.
"And when the money ran out? What would we have done then?" Joan asked her gently. Rosie looked her with tears in her eyes.
"We heard the lady talking. She said we'll will go into foster care 'cause we're too old to get adopted and Dani and Annie will go to families who won't love them as much as we do and we'll never see them again!"
"Which lady?"
"The mean one."
"You mean Sandra? Our social worker?" Joan asked. She nodded sullenly.
"I… Rosie, I know this is hard. It's hard for me too. But trust me, it's better for Annie and Dani to go to a family who's going to love them and look after them than to stay with us." Joan explained gently. Rosie looked wide-eyed at her.
"We could look after them!" She insisted. Joan smiled.
"I'm twelve. You're barely eight. How could we look after a three and one year old?" she pointed out. Rosie shrugged, leaning against her.
"Dani's nearly four." She pointed out. Joan shot her a dry look, causing Rosie to sigh.
"I don't want them to go Joanie." She whispered. Joan tightened an arm around her and pressed her lips to her honey-blonde curls.
"Neither do I."
Later that day, Joan sat in the garden with a sleepy Danielle on her lap. Beside her, Rose had a clean Annie on hers while she was playing peek-a-boo with her. Despite what she'd said to her earlier, Joan had prayed and begged and hoped that Annie and Dani wouldn't catch any prospective parents' eye. Her hopes were dashed when she saw a couple headed towards the both of them. From her experiences with her own father, she instantly recognised the man as military but the woman seemed pretty non-descript.
"Hello. What are your names?" the woman knelt down next to them, a smile on her face. Joan couldn't bring herself to smile back, while Rose just scowled at them.
"This is Dani and Annie." Joan told her shortly. The woman smiled.
"And you two?" she asked. Joan blinked, startled.
"… She's Rosie and I'm Joanie." She introduced, using the name she'd called herself when she was younger without thinking. The woman smiled at her, and began to play with Daniand Rose. And Joan began to wonder if maybe things would turn out ok.
She was proved wrong several days later, when Sandra called her and Rosie into an office and told them that the Walker's had decided they wanted to adopt both Dani and burst into tears, shrieking wildly at the brunette while Joan became frozen, her face a mask despite the emotions swirling inside her.
"I'm very sorry Joanie, but we simply don't have enough space to adopt the four of you." Linda Walker explained gently. Joan stared at her emotionlessly. Linda sighed, levering herself to her feet and picking up Annie, who was lying in a carrier nearby, while her husband John carried a sleeping Dani.
"No…" whispered Rosie. Joan's hand tightened around her little sisters'.
"We thought you'd want to know, that we decided to keep their names as Danielle and Anne." Linda told them. Joan remained motionless. Did they expect her to thank them?
Linda sighed again, exchanging a glance with her husband. "Goodbye Joanie, Rosie."
They turned and walked out. Joan watched the Walkers drive off from an upstairs window, heart screaming as she realised she'd probably never see either of her sisters again. She fingered the locket around her neck. It had been her mothers, and as the eldest it had been entrusted to her. Inside, the only photo of her family all together lay. Annie had been only three months old then.
"Hey honey, you gonna come eat some lunch? Sorry, I don't remember your name." A faceless woman called from the doorway. She smiled at Joan kindly, but Joan didn't even see her, mind filled with images of the disappearing car.
"Joan." She said quietly as she walked past the woman.
"I'm sorry?"
"Joan." She said louder. She looked at the woman without flinching. "My name is Joan."
