Percy lay in his bunk at Camp Jupiter. There was nothing left for him at Camp Half-Blood, except painful reminders. Of course, painful reminders were here, too. Every where he went, everything he saw was a reminder. Hey Percy! Why don't we practice in the arena? Annabeth had practiced with him almost every day. Percy, how about we watch a movie? How many movie dates had he taken Annabeth on? He turned in his bed, trying to get in a more comfortable position for sleep. As if he would sleep. Every night he was plagued by nightmares. His head seemed to scream at him, It's your fault! It's all your fault! As if he didn't already know that. He reached for his nightstand before he realized that the object he wanted was already in his hand. Her beaded necklace, still strung with their achievements, and his coral pendant.

He hadn't even told her he loved her.

His eyes stung with salt water but he took a deep breath and forced it down. Why? Why did he have to fall in love with this beautiful warrior? Why did he have to lose it every time someone mentioned talking about it? He didn't want to talk about it. Everyone already knew what happened.

He was fighting, as he had countless times before, but he was fighting a blood-thirsty, Gaia-worshipping army. He knew he would be OK though, because Annabeth was at his side. One mistake, one tiny dodge to the left had destroyed his life. While he moved left the Cyclops stayed right on course, successfully hitting Annabeth between the ribs. She fell.

"Annabeth!" he screamed. There were still monsters, but with one furious roar, he willed enough water to fill 1,000 baths to come crashing down on the enemy, whisking them away in a hellish hurricane. He dropped to his knees.

He was subconscious that the other five demi-gods were around him, but not too close. They were giving him space. He put his ear to her heart, nothing. He checked her pulse, nada.

"No", he murmured. He held her in his arms and reached into his pack to grab ambrosia. He stuffed the square into her mouth. She couldn't be dead. Not now. He needed her.

He waited and waited. Nothing.

He hugged her to his chest. He could feel the blood seeping onto his clothes but he didn't care. He was shaking and breathing hard.

"You... you can't. I need you, Annabeth. You and me, we've come this far and you can't just-" he could hear his voice cracking. He was speaking to a corpse. His eyes stung with tears, yes tears. The brave and heroic Percy Jackson was crying. He saw his tears splatter onto her hair through the fuzziness. She was still warm, and he could almost imagine her sleeping in his arms. Almost.

Except the blood was still leaking onto him. Her blood. She was gone. His best friend, his soul mate: gone.

"No", he said again. That's when he realized. This was all Gaia's fault. Annabeth was dead, and it was that stupid earth goddesses fault.

But it was his fault, too. If he hadn't moved away from that stupid monster, she would still be here. He didn't even get to say good-bye. He hadn't even told her he loved her.

"I love you Annabeth", he whispered into her hair.

Every day that memory tormented him. He had had this new life planned out for them. Full of joy and hope and relaxation. Now he had got that but she was still gone. She was the only one who really understood him; what he loved, feared, and desired. But it wasn't the never seeing her again that bothered him most. Never seeing her smile, her beauty or never feeling her kiss, her warmth. No, what destroyed him most was the fact that he had promised to her. He had promised that she would never get away from him again, that they would always be together. He had broken his promise, and that's what hurt the most.

He remembered the time he asked for an audience with Hades, in a crazy want to do the impossible. Hades had always been dramatic, and that didn't change this encounter. He had appeared to him in a column of white fire as a giant. He was dressed in his 'reaping souls' suit which was pure black. He had dark, shoulder length hair, pale, papery skin and a frown on his face.

"What do you want?" Hades asked, eyes aflame like a madman.

"You know what I want." Percy said, his last sliver of hope still intact. "Can you bring her back?"

Hades looked at him with a look that completely surprised Percy: Pity. "No, hero. You know it cannot be. I'm truly sorry."

Percy tried to control his anger. "What use is a god of the dead," he said with gritted teeth, "if he can't even retrieve one person?"

Hades said nothing. He didn't yell or frown or even glower. Instead he just said. "It is the way things must be. If I had it my way, several people would still be alive." He paused for a moment. It looked like he wanted to say something else, but instead he just said, goodbye." And with that he had vanished.

Percy, stil awake, sighed out of exasperation. Now there was no way he would go to sleep. Percy usually tried to think of the positive aspects of their relationship. At least they had been together for a year, at least she had died defeating Gaia but if he was honest, he really only thought one thing. What's the point of living now? Why couldn't have I died, too? Percy tried to shake those thought out of his mind but it was like he was in the river Cocytus again. Except he wasn't about to escape it. His misery just increased more and more every single second. So as he lay in his bed, surrounded by the memories of his past, what should be his present, and what he envisioned for the future, he promised himself one thing. "I'll find you Annabeth. I promise."