DISCLAIMER: I don't own Freakazoid's Heiney, and I also don't own Invader Zim! ...Which is ironic, since Freakazoid and I are a lot a like... Okay, Scary-time over! IT'S BAAAACK! TO THE STOOORRYYY! *Large, "Back to the Future"-style credits show up and she zooms off!* On another note...
"Intergalactic" by the Beastie Boys was the inspiration for the title. Mmm-yep~! *Laughs* Because it's just so cool and funny a song~! Like, one of those old science-fiction movies!

AUTHOR'S NOTES:The Adventures continue~!

(Story order so far: "Lepidoptera and Arachnidia" - "PSYCH-OUT!" - "Chrysanthemum" - "Hurting for a Very Hurtful Pain" - "Intergalactic Beasties, Planetary People")

If anyone can guess the meaning to the first chapter's title, then mister...you need to quit peeking into my head! *Screams and grabs head* But, if you guessed it was from Freakazoid!, then you're right! It is! *Really cheesy grin.*


Intergalactic Beasties, Planetary People


Chapter 1: "Don't Say I Didn't Warn You Not to Ever Date a Monster!"


Opening one's eyes, the first thing one could see was trees. Green all-encompassing, but mixed with several other colors; the mixture was frighteningly alien. The next thing one noticed was the pale blue sky, seemingly so thin; with small white clouds, and streaks of dark gray in it. The sounds were present immediately, but none were loud enough to jar one awake. The person would lay there, undisturbed, until either they felt like getting up, or something got their attention. In many ways, it was both.

In this case, with this certain individual, it was the smells, sounds, and sights which intrigued it to get up.

"..." Pushing up glasses only to find they were firmly stationed on its face, Dib, the being in question, stared around with impossible silence at the amazing sights before him. A being pushed things aside in a strange sort of rustle behind him.

"I believe that's called, 'Improbable Amazement'. Huh. I never thought you could do that," responded the person behind him to his silent gaping. Dib turned around and saw what looked like a Vortian -he'd become somewhat familiar with Vortians recently- only this one seemed older, even ancient. It was a pinkish-color, and had long tapering head-things which were gathered into a weird little "pouf" at the ends, that which looked like a cross between a shower-cap and a decorative hand-bag. He decided that with its more delicate styles in clothes and long head-things, it must be a female of the species; but only in as much as it reminded him of human women.

"Wh-who are you? What do you want?! How do you know me?!" He asked almost simultaneously.

"Woah, woah, woah!" The being held up its hands as if in defense. But it held an air of authority, like it had dealt with children before. "I'm Lasch-mik, Lard-nar's mother. Psh, that boy's always getting into trouble! Except that he usually calls us, that's unlike his ungrateful little brother! Always getting into trouble, that kid, but at least he's not starting revolutions! Oh, I'm sorry, am I talking too much? I always do that," she appeared a bit concerned and looked at him.

Dib didn't know whether to be on his guard or to believe this strange person, but she seemed to behave ...like a mother. Or, at least, what he had read, heard about, or seen on T.V. about them. He couldn't really remember his. Blinking, now in a half-crouch and ready to spring if necessary, he asked, "Lard-nar's mother? Why would he tell you about me?"

Smiling humorously and holding a hand up to her mouth, she said, "Oh, come on! With a head THAT BIG? Anybody's going to notice! Especially a scientist like my boy! He called me up, babbling about how there was this little alien boy with a mysteriously large head -he said it was strange, because measurements showed it wasn't really as large as it seems, oh, and," she was gesturing, now waving a hand nonchalantly, "He might've mentioned you fighting an Irken on your home planet or something...and how you wanted to join the Resisty's fight against Operation Impending Doom II, you know, the usual... anyways," she seemed about to continue talking, but had paused, either to catch her breath or to organize her thoughts.

Dib tried to take in what she'd just said -an alien leader of a resistance against the Irken Empire was telling his mother about his big head- but he didn't quite have time to process the entire thing, because...

A giant "BOOM!" along with gray clouds of dust sounded in the distance. Dib turned around to stare at the commotion behind him; Lasch-mik seemed shocked, and had jumped a bit, shielding her eyes as she stared. They both felt dumb-struck, but soon they felt the impending need to run -and so they did. In the exact opposite direction.

Dib and Lasch-mik ran through the great jungle, though the area they were in was rather clear of trees. They jumped over fallen logs and tried their hardest to shimmy up a tree at one point, only to find out that that moss was not useful for climbing, just slippery. As they ran, losing track of their initial position, terrified of the large and calamitous sounds and clouds of dust which followed the initial "BOOM!", Dib was consistently hit with various things, whilest Lasch-mik seemed to escape unscathed.

At one point, Dib even heard her say, "I wish Lard-nar was here!" But he had no time to contemplate it; that is, until he ran face-first into a wall. A large tree, that was. But still...

"Diib!" Exclaimed Lasch-mik, then she grabbed his dazed body and pulled them in behind a red bush. It was a very nice red bush. Complete with little cups like daffodil-shaped tea-cups and saucers! But that will be considered another time.

"Ow...what'd I hit?" He asked as he rubbed his forehead.

"A tree," said Lasch-mik.

"What, was it IRON-WOOD?!" He exclaimed incredulously. He couldn't believe anyTHING could be that hard. It had reminded him of Gaz's boot. Except that it wasn't quite as hard as that. And she liked to use her Weasel-Stomping Day boots -the ones with spikes.

"Relax," she said somewhat soothingly. "It didn't break the tree," she smirked at the grumpy look he gave her.

He'd gotten used to people referring to the size of his head; but now saying it was a dangerous object? "Hah, hah, very funny..." he said sarcastically.

"Oh, don't be like that," she said in a typical motherly reprimand, "In any case, it looks like the crashing has stopped -" There was a large, defiant crash just at that moment, as if to insist that it didn't stop for anyone.

"Oh, crud," She said in quite the understatement, because the crash sounded so nearby, it bounced them into the air and made the rocks behind them crack. The dark shadow loomed over them, and it looked as if they would be swallowed up by the dust clouds.

"Let's get out of here~!" Yelled Dib as he grabbed her and dove away from it. The two of them ran on again for what seemed like ages; though in actuality it wasn't that long.

Finally they came to a large wall. "Well, it looks like we're not going any further!" Said Lasch-mik.

"What is THIS?!" Exclaimed Dib. "It looks like a metal wall or something!" The large, gray-ish thing loomed up, covered in different places with small bits of vegetation; the entire thing looked both like sheer rock and metal. Like a man-made climbing wall or something.

"It's a phi-ite rock mixed with pho-ite. Huh! Never thought I'd see that. Well, it's theoretically a metal-like rock. Or is a rock-like metal? In any case, we aren't climbing up it," replied Lasch-mik.

"Phi-ite? Pho-ite? What kind of-" he was about to ask what kind of rocks/minerals those were, but the crashing and dust-clouds were getting louder. "Wha! We need to get out of here! Quickly, where can we go?"

Thinking as she rubbed her chin with a finger, Lasch-mik then said, "I don't think we need to go anywhere!"

"WHAT!?" Exclaimed Dib in shock.

"LOOK!" She said, suddenly shouting to get his attention. He seemed to look surprised at this, so she continued, "When it comes at us, we'll run straight for it! Then we can duck out of the way and get behind it. Hopefully..." she muttered the last part quietly, making Dib wonder if it would be a good idea. But there wasn't much time to decide on that, so they went with the plan.

The loud crash sounded so loud it almost shook them off their feet; but just as it got close, they both charged forward, Dib smacking into a large leg of some kind, but recoving quickly, and soon they were behind it. It looked like a some-what big lizard. But that's not what shocked them.

"It's not even that big!" Exclaimed Dib. He felt cheated by the lack of real imposing monstrosity. It was only a couple of stories high; not even much to write home about. Or boast to his sister about.

"That's not the problem!" Exclaimed Lasch-mik, pointing ahead of them. There were several crashing dust-clouds, all headed straight for them. They both screamed: then ran ahead, skirting around the large, imposing dust-clouds.


After an interminable length of time, they arrived at a clearing, huffing and puffing; clearly tired out. Dib had been impressed at how well that old lady could run; but the impending death made it impossible for him to think very long about it. He'd assumed it had something to do with the way Vortians' legs are shaped.

Then they looked up. Standing there, looking exhausted and faces red, blue, and various different shades of colors that had nothing to do with their natural pigment, were several other aliens. "Uh...oh, uh..." Was all Dib could think to say. He'd run out of shock along with his breath. But there were a few faces he recognized.

"PLK!" Yelled one of the faces he'd recognized. It was Lard-nar, and he ran towards his mother immediately. "Plk-plk, what are you doing here!?" Dib assumed "Plk" was some form of endearment.

"Heck if I know!" She said, "I just woke up near this little brat, and we spent the last five or ten minutes running from whatever in the heck those lizard things are!" She explained, pointing at the "brat", Dib.

"What? Five or ten minutes?! Come on, it had to be longer than that!" Dib spoke up, having finally caught his breath.

"Dib?!" Came a couple of familiar voices. Dib looked up to see faces which, though he didn't recognize them, seemed somewhat familar.

"Who?" He asked as they walked over to him.

"It's me, Agent Tuna Ghost!" Replied the woman. She had glasses and a pink-violet mop of punk-tastic hair, with one skull earring. She also had a silver necklace with pink stars, yellow dots, and a couple of skulls.

"And me, Agent Nessie!" Said the man. He had swept-back prussian-blue hair, with goggles and a white lab-coat with a neck that came up to mostly cover his mouth. He had a name-tag for "Scotch Pharmeceuticals", and looked every bit the part of a pharmacist.

"Ah!" Said Dib. "Of course! I thought you looked familiar! How'd you get here?" He asked, not even questioning how they knew his real name. It wasn't exactly rocket-science to figure that out.

"Well, probably the same way you did," replied Agent Nessie.

"Yeah, woke up in a strange place, next to some aliens." Replied Agent Tuna Ghost.

Dib was disappointed that they didn't have any better information. "Well, good; at least we're all on the same page," he replied sardonically.

"Hey, who's that?" Came a high-sounding, slightly familiar voice.

"I think it's that Large-headed Kid." Came another familiar, lower-sounding voice.

"Oh, yeah! Heh, heh, that one," replied the high-sounding voice. Looking over, one realized that they were the Almighty Tallests, along with a shorter, yellow-ish-green-eyed Irken who was currently clinging onto the pak of the Purple one.

Dib hadn't noticed them until now; quite frankly, they blended in with the crazy color-scheme of the "greenery". "Hey! What are you-" he started, but then he remembered, "Oh, wait..."

Lard-nar had stopped chatting with his mother and turned to glare at the Irkens, "Just great; of all the planets I could be mysteriously stuck on-"

"Now don't start that again~!" Came the voice of a rather annoyed alien. (You may now imagine him with an English accent. Come on. You know you already did.) He was a blue-ish-gray-ish, and had two little tongues hanging out of his mouth. He also had two sets of tiny eyes, and two tiny fangs poking out at the corners of his wobbly-looking lips. He had a mop of rather flat, pale red spiky hair, and was humanoid-looking except for his feet -which were like two cones or hooves. Maybe cone-shaped hooves? In any case, he seemed like he was getting rather annoyed at Lard-nar.

Just as Lard-nar, the other alien, and the Irkens were arguing, another Irken stepped out of seemingly nowhere, stating to Dib, "Well, now -looks like your HEAD has gained intergalactic fame."

"Tak! What are you-D'oh! I mean, I didn't see you there! What's going on here?!" Replied Dib, glad to finally find his comrade-in-arms against Zim in this trans-planetary nightmare. They walked towards each other, but kept their voices at normal pitch to avoid suspicion.

After all, Dib was interested in helping the Resisty -but he also was hoping to catch Zim and prove to his own people aliens existed. Tak was glad to assist, because she had a grudge against him. But despite being comrades against Zim and going on crazy, psychic, and otherwise paranormal adventures together, he still didn't quite get the reason why she was willing to cooperate with him. It all seemed too much like she was hiding something from him -especially as of late, when she'd left to do "something important" just as they seemed to be getting along well enough.

"It looks like I'm going to be stuck here with some of the most annoying people," She said, sighing.

"Hey, where's the necklace?" Asked Dib, referring to her psychic power-enhancing necklace.

"It's right here," she pointed to her pak.

"Good," Dib seemed to sigh with relief, "I wonder if there's anyone else out there? Do you think you can sense 'em?"

Tak shrugged. "I've already tried, but the only ones I've been able to find are us," she guestured to the rest of the arguers, "and the various life-forms on this planet. But we're the only sentient ones so far."

"Then maybe we'll find someone when we move around?" Suggested Dib. "Just how far is your search-radius?"

"Only about-" Tak started, but turned to see Lard-nar coming up to them. 'Stay cool,' she mentally reminded Dib, and he let out a breath. He didn't wonder why she could do that without the necklace. He couldn't even see its chain around her neck.

"Hey, what's going on here? Why are you so friendly with this -Irken?!" Lard-nar spat out the last word like it was pure poison.

Sighing, Dib explained with some mental coaching from Tak, "This is Tak. She's been helping me out with a certain, er, problem...that...totally doesn't involve any alien governments or anything!" Dib held his hands up and grinned cheesily. Tak hoped his bad acting-skills wouldn't be noticed. But, apparently, Lard-nar bought it.

"Yeah, well..." With a hand on his chin, he seemed to be sizing Tak up. But eventually he said, "I wouldn't trust 'em, but okay. If you say so..." he seemed to be relatively pleased with his assessment, so he wandered off.

'Cheap, much?' Tak directed this thought about Dib's acting skills towards him.

Dib sent a look her way and thought, 'You told me say it!'

'Yes, and you were a terrible actor!' Tak thought back as she turned away. No one noticed this quick thought exchange, and both Dib and Tak went back to their respective sides of the group.

The group of sixteen had now separated into the Resisty's side, the Irkens' side, and the Undecideds', who seemed to regard the rest with nervous gazes. Despite their relative similar predicament, the two opposing sides were intent on blaming the others.

"*Sigh* This is getting us NOWHERE!" Exclaimed an alien from the Undecideds' group, a tall, black alien whose head ended in two points, with a reddish-orange bit in the middle. He had almond-shaped, shiny, pale blue eyes, and seemed to be dressed nicely. He walked past the other two squabbling groups and stood at the edge of the clearing, arms crossed in disdain.

"But- THEY'RE the horrible bad guys!" Insisted Lard-nar, who seemed to have run out of intelligent arguments.

"We ARE NOT!" Shouted Tallest Purple.

The adviser sitting on Tallest Purple's pak had jumped off, and was now saying, "We have NOTHING to do with this! It must've been one of your stupid Resisty ideas!"

"It's just as stupid as your NAME!" Added Tallest Red.

"Hey!" Shouted Lard-nar, "Why would WE put ourselves in danger?!"

"WE wouldn't even go NEAR this horrible planet! Especially without any snacks!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple.

"Will you LISTEN to yourselves?! You're acting like children!" Exclaimed the tall black alien who'd spoken up earlier. The ones he addressed seemed to turn their gaze down in shame. "If we can't find any other reason for why we would all be here, then isn't it obvious that someone else must've done it?!"

"I agree. This doesn't seem like anything we would've done," Replied Tak. "No one here has either the desire nor technology to do something like this. So it must've been an outside force." She seemed to be glancing about, trying to take in the surroundings.

"Hhhmmm...an outside force...well, I'm all out of ideas. I can't think of anything or anyone who would care enough to pick us all out of our homes and drop us on the same horrible planet. *Sighs* There goes my 'Space Ghost Revenge' theory..." Dib replied, holding his chin in thought. The others nodded thoughtfully. Dib noticed that Tak seemed somewhat alert. Or was it nervous? It was irritating the way she kept glancing about. He was supposed to be the suspiciously alert one!

"Hey, why do you keep looking around like that?" The Tallests' adviser asked.

"Oh, uh..." realizing they were all looking at her, Tak finally explained, "I noticed that we haven't heard any of those crashing lizards recently." Then, thinking towards Dib, 'And I'm worried that I can't sense something...'

"What?!" Asked Dib suddenly, then he realized he shouldn't respond to telepathy with words. But the others didn't notice; they were all too worried about the noise-less crashing lizards.

"She's right; it has stopped!" One of the aliens said. This one was a gloopy-looking alien, completely yellow, with reddish and brown colored thingies that looked like petals on its head, and one red eye.

"Oh, my! Are they gonna' eat us!?" Exclaimed the blob-woman.

"Hey, we should get out of here!" Said an alien who looked surprisingly human, and wore what could only be considered "Mad Hatter cosplay".

"Y-Yeah, maybe we should get out of here..." agreed Lard-nar.

"It's too out in the open..." agreed the Tallests' advisor.

Suddenly, something came screaming out of the jungle, frightening everyone out of their socks. They had to find them to put them back on again. But in the meantime...

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Screamed the oddly triangular form of the alien, which slammed into Tallest Purple's back and hung on there until the adviser managed to pry it loose. "DON'T LET IT GET ME, DON'T LET IT GET ME!"

"AAAAHHHHH! IT'S ON MY PAK! IT'S ON MY -OH DEAR SWEEET HULLA-BULLUHLUHLUHLUH, HELP MEEE!" Screamed Tallest Purple. Tallest Red was trying to find something to shoot it with. The adviser pried the little alien loose and flung it to the ground. After the screaming died down, they looked at it to find...

"SHLOONKTAPOOXIS!" Yelled Lard-nar.

"AAAHHH!" Screamed the triangular alien in response.

"What in HAIRY-NAHRRY'S NAME are you DOING, frightening us to DEATH!?" Lard-nar shouted, pointing at him.

The alien blinked. "Oh, HI, Sir!" He grinned stupidly. "Man am I glad to see YOU here!"

'Hey,' thought Dib to Tak, 'I thought you said there weren't any others around here!'

'No,' replied Tak, 'I said there weren't any other sentient life-forms around here.'

Dib raised an eyebrow at the little triangular alien. She had a point.

Lard-nar looked like he was about to punch him. "Hey, is this guy one of yours?" Asked Tallest Purple, pointing at it.

Lard-nar seemed a bit embarrassed as he cleared his throat, "ACHEM, uh...yes..."

Tallest Purple pointed to Tak, "You! Punish it."

"Yes, Sir!" Tak saluted, then turned to Shloonktapooxis and glared.

"YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Yelled the triangular floaty alien, before he flew off into the jungle.

"Waaaiit! Shloonky, you don't know the waaayyy!" Shouted Lasch-mik, as she ran off after him.

Tak just blinked. "Wow. And I didn't even do anything." The others nodded in respect for her glaring intimidation.

"It looks like we're stuck with a moron..." mumbled the Tallests' adviser.

"More like a FEW..." Grumbled Tallest Red.

"*Sigh* I guess I better go help my mother catch him. He's liable to run off to who-knows-where, and- uh- ouh...!" Lard-nar suddenly stared agog at what was behind the Almighty Tallests, and he contemplated whether he should tell them, or let them be potentially attacked by whatever it was.

"What?" Agent Nessie turned around and instantly realized why he was looking so scared. Everyone had decided to turn to look at what had positively frightened him.

A giant, gray-ish cloud, shaped in the inextricable shape of a bunny-rabbit, seemed to have descended out of the sky nearby. They all instantly ran away from it.

After running -yet again- from the incredibly disturbing and yet bunny-ish clouds, they finally stopped for breath. If they kept running like this, it might qualify as an Olympic Marathon.

"This," gasped Dib, "Is like an awful, real-life version of the Blair Witch Project!"

"You mean there's something even worse than the original?!" Exclaimed Agent Nessie.

"NOTHING is worse than the original! Believe me, I had to RESEARCH it!" Responded Agent Tuna Ghost. The other two looked at her in sympathy.

"We lost my motheeerrr!" Moaned Lard-nar in the background. "I'm going back to look for her!"

"Hey, I was wondering, are all Earthlings as tall as you?" Asked Tallest Red to Agent Nessie, who was standing nearby.

Agent Nessie just blinked and then said, "But, I'm only five foot nine!"

"If you want tall, I know some people in Noway who are even larger," commented Agent Tuna Ghost, who was actually taller than Agent Nessie.

"And how tall are you?" Asked Tallest Purple to Agent Tuna Ghost.

"Without my heels? Six feet, even." She replied.

"I don't believe you!" Said Tallest Purple, who was about six and a half feet. "Take off your shoes and let's see!"

"Okay, then..." Agent Tuna Ghost then proceeded to remove her shoes and stood up for a measuring contest with the Tallest.

"Alright, before this gets any more bizarre..." Dib spoke up, "Does anyone have any idea where we are, or what we should do now? I mean, I'm no expert, but-"

"THEN SHUT-UP!" Shouted the rest of the group. They were understandably tired from running around so much.

Glaring, Dib unadvisedly continued, "Look, I just think that we should try and find some place to-"

Poking him on the shoulder, the Tallests' adviser said, "Hey, hey, Big-Head-Kid, be quiet! The Tallests don't like it when anyone disturbs a 'Tall-Off," he explained.

A song started playing in the background which sounded suspiciously like OMC's "How Bizarre".

Looking at the scene, which involved both Agents Tuna Ghost and Nessie with their shoes off now, being scanned for comparison with the Almighty Tallests, Dib stared for a second and then glared.

"Oh, you've GOT to be kidding me," he moaned and rubbed his head.

"Hey, that reminds me," said the blue-gray alien with two tongues sticking out that just seemed to dangle there, unused. "How'd you manage to enlarge your head so much? 'Cause that thing's wicked!"

"Look, I'm only going to say this once, but ENOUGH with the comments about the size of my head! I mean, I don't go around saying, 'Hey, two-tongued guy, you sure got two tongues hanging outside of your mouth!' or, 'Hey, yellow goo-alien, you sure are yellow!' And besides," Dib crossed his arms, "My name's Dib, NOT Big-Head-Kid!"

"Well, aren't YOU special!" The Tallests' adviser poked Dib in the head, as if to let out some of his hot air. "Don't get too full of yourself, or else something bad might happen to you!"

"Oh, like it hasn't happened already!" Replied Dib.

"Hey, and while we're on the subject of names," commented the yellow gloopy-looking alien with one red eye and a bit of what looked like reddish and brown flower petals on its head, "My name's Tarky." It nodded to Dib.

"Uh...hi," he said, unsure with the sudden friendliness.

"And I'm Vrilly," said the alien who looked surprisingly human, wearing the "Mad Hatter Cosplay" get-up.

"I'm Crystal," said the crystalline alien who looked like a living, shining jewel.

"Crystal?!" Asked a few others incredulously.

"What can I say? My family thought it was ironic!" She replied with a shrug.

"I'm Clasps," said the blob-woman. "And I'm a female, just in case you were wondering." Everybody nodded. They weren't wondering, but they gratefully accepted the explanation.

"Me, too!" Said Vrilly. "I'm female!"

"Me, three!" Said Crystal.

"Oh, are we doing intros and stuff? I'm Vick, and I'm female!" Added Agent Tuna Ghost after having been thoroughly measured by the Tallests. They seemed sufficiently pleased that the two Earthlings in question were indeed shorter than them.

"I'm Tak, and I'm female," stated Tak, though she didn't think it needed to be said.

"*Sigh* Okay, since everybody else is doing it," said the Tallests' adviser, "I'm Sploods, and I'm an Adviser to the Almighty Tallests." Sploods stood up straighter as he said this. "And I'm male."

"Yes, and you all know us, WE'RE," Tallest Purple spoke up, "The Almighty Tallest, leaders of the GREAT and Marvelous Irken Empire, and you may all call us 'Sir'!"

Everyone else who had an opinion about their haughty attitudes kept silent.

"And we're both male," added Tallest Red, just in case. Tallest Purple poked him with an elbow, and they had a quick slap-fight before finishing.

"I'm Ploopoh," the blue-gray alien with two tongues said, "And I'm male."

"I am THROBULATOOOR!" Yelled an alien with a brainy-looking head, which seemed to lack a skull. "I am a MAAALLLEEE!"

"Gee, if that isn't obvious..." mumbled Agent Nessie.

"Huh? Did you say something?" Asked Tarky, but Agent Nessie turned his head away and instantly pretended like it didn't concern him.

"I'm Starky, and I'm a male," said the tall black alien with the reddish-orange on his head. "I'm also an ambassador of my people, the Crstl-ine. It's nice to meet you." He said with absolutely no enthusiasm.

(A/N: "Crstl-ine" is Pronounced "Kurst-a-line".)

"Hey, Dib-kid, male or female?" Asked Ploopoh, poking him.

Sighing, Dib said, "I'm a male."

"Well, I'm female, obviously, since I'm Lard-nar's mother; I'm Lasch-mik!" Stated a slightly singed-looking Lasch-mik, holding a badly-singed, but happy-looking, Shloonktapooxis.

"WHAAAHHH!" Yelled everybody in shock at their sudden return.

Gasping, Ploopoh said, "Geeze, you scared us! What happened to Lard-nar? I thought he went looking for you?!"

Lasch-mik developed a confused look and said, "I didn't see 'Nar any-"

Just then, Lard-nar came running through the bush, with an angry, rabid beast on his heels. (No one took the time to observe the beast's appearance, other than that it was dark red in color and was bearing its sharp teeth with foaming saliva.) Once he reached the group he ran and hid behind the Irkens, just to make sure it ate them, first. But once it appeared, everyone screamed so loudly that the wild, rabid beast decided it didn't want to eat these scary things; and it ran off, whimpering like a hyena into the background. The group looked on, impressed...but confused.

"How bizarre, how bizarre," was still playing on in the background, and a couple of people lifted their heads to look around for the source of the sound.

"Well, that's shocking," said Lasch-mik, letting Shloonktapooxis go. He floated up, looking around for Lard-nar.

"Hey, it's gone, Sir! You can come out, now!" He said as he saw Lard-nar cowering in fear behind the Tallests. Looking up, Lard-nar stood up and tried to look as if he hadn't been about to shed precious bodily fluids in embarrassing, alien ways when running from that beast.

"I'm, I'm okay..." He walked stiffly over to the rest of the group. Then he turned, pointing to a bush and said, "I'm just, uh...gonna' need to go over there for a few minutes...! Don't worry about me," he ran behind the bush swiftly.

The group waited a few moments until they heard, "AAAAAAAAARRRRAAGHEHWHSUIDWFWJAJAAAAAHHHAHFAHHAAAAA!"

Silence.

"Well, I guess that means he's fine!" Shloonktapooxis smiled with his tongue sticking out. The others regarded him with calm wonderment.

'Isn't he worried about him?' Thought Dib.

'The lights are on, but nobody's home,' replied Tak telepathically. She and Dib exchanged a glance before looking away.

"Phew! Well, speaking of bushes..." Started Agent Nessie, "I think I might need to use one after all this..."

Vick smirked, "Yeah, that's a good point."

"After all this, I don't think I can go," commented Dib dully. He felt like he couldn't relax around all those aliens.

"What are you guys talking about?" Asked Vrilly.

"Using the restroom." Replied Vick. "Anybody else here have to go?" She asked the group.

Several people, sans-Irkens, raised their hands.

"Okay, then, this way's the little girl's room, er, females' room," she pointed to an out-cropping of rock, "and that way's the little males' room," she pointed to several large, bushy bushes and trees in the opposite direction.

Everyone started heading in their prescribed directions.

Except for one. Tarky started heading off alone to another large bush. "Hey, where are you goin'?" Asked Shloonktapooxis.

"The hermaphrodites' room," explained Tarky as "he" pointed.

And, unlike another popular scene, nobody wanted to use the hermaphrodites' room.


After a good restroom-break and several mishaps involving what to and what not to use as toilet-paper, they were all (relatively) refreshed. (After a while, Dib even managed to relax enough to go. I just know you were all curious about that.)

"Alright, what's next?" Asked Sploods, after everyone had finally emerged. Even Lard-nar had finally re-joined the group, looking like he hadn't almost had a nervous break-down. 'Darn, I was hoping for that,' thought Sploods as he realized this.

Vrilly waved her arm, "We build a shelter and look for food?" Everyone nodded in agreement to that.

"Then we can build a fire and look around, make a map of this place," Added Lard-nar.

"Unless, of course...a fire attracts those animals..." mentioned Agent Nessie, who had somehow managed to avoid giving his real name during introductions.

Everyone looked silent and nervous at this. "Of course, it could scare them off," suggested Shloonktapooxis.

They started mumbling amongst themselves, until Sploods finally managed to get their attention again. "SHUT-UUUUP!"

"What?" Asked Ploopoh, who hadn't been paying attention.

"Let's organize into groups!" Shouted Sploods, "Group one will look for a place or materials to build a shelter! Group two will search the area for edible foods!"

"Oooh! Oooh!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple, waving his hands, "WE'LL be in THAT GROUP!" Tallest Red was grinning happily, thinking of getting something to eat. But it seemed slightly evil to some...

"I guess I'll be in the Food Group," said Lard-nar, "Just to make sure that those two don't feed us anything poisonous!"

"Oh, I'll go, too! We have to search for water, as well!" Agent Nessie jumped up, walking over to him.

"Okay...anyone else for the Food Group?" Asked Sploods.

"I don't need to; I have a slightly different diet, but I'm good at identifying plants, so I'm okay." Replied Tarky. Though technically, he just said this because he didn't want to be in the same group as the Almighty Tallests and the Resisty's leader! They just didn't stop arguing!

"I'll go! I have to look for minerals!" Replied Crystal.

"Anybody else?" Nobody wanted to join, so the group of food-gatherers was formed of the Almighty Tallests, Sploods, Lard-nar, Agent Nessie, and Crystal.

"Then, I guess we'll just look for decent shelter," said Vick. The others agreed.

"Someone should stay here and guard the camp," suggested Clasps. Everyone agreed with that.

"But who?" Asked Ploopoh.

"How about whoever's weaker?" Suggested Lard-nar. His mother grabbed one of those things on his head and pulled at it. "Ow, ow! Er, I mean, they can -can try and figure out how to make a fire!" His mother seemed satisfied with this, and so she let go.

"I suppose I'll stay behind -I'm not very strong," said Clasps, the blob-woman. The others nodded in sympathetic agreement.

"I can stay behind," said Vrilly, "I'm sort-of weak, and I've had some outdoors experience." The others "Ooo-ed" at this, and agreed.

"Then I guess that just leaves me," said Lasch-mik, "As you can see, I'm not exactly a spring space-chicken." The others nodded but decided not to say anything about this statement. Dib raised an eyebrow at the "spring space-chicken" mention, but said nothing.

"Then, we'll get going!" Said Vick, "Let's fan out and search the area for caves or other natural features, but make sure you stay within ear-shot of each other."

"Come on, Dib, we can use your big head to place things on," said Tak as she grabbed him by his hair-scythe. Vick laughed at this and didn't care to help him out of that predicament, as Tak dragged him along.

"Ow! Oowch! Hey, quit it!" Yelled Dib as Tak continued to drag him. Eventually she stopped dragging him after they went over a rock or two, and he walked, grumbling as he rubbed his scalp.

"Hey," said Vick as the group, which had remained together in a loose formation slowed in front of a particular circle of trees, "What do you guys think of this thing?"

The group, consisting of Vick, Dib, Tak, Shloonktapooxis, Tarky, Throbulator, Starky, and Ploopoh, stared at it.

"It looks like a Fairy Circle," mentioned Ploopoh. Dib's head perked up.

"A Fairy Circle?!" Said Dib, but Tak pulled down on his hair-scythe again.

"Down, Paranorm-head!" She said, then gloated in psychic triumph as he hit the ground. Grumbling, Dib stood up and dusted his pants off.

"Geeze, what's with you today?!" He said as he observed her particular glee in tormenting him recently.

She smirked but said nothing. 'Oh, nothing~' she thought at him, causing him to glare.

This little interaction went relatively unnoticed as the others observed the trees as a potential shelter.

"I wonder if the fairies will let us use it?" Asked Shloonktapooxis, as they all conversed as to whether or not they would.

"Why don't they just ask them?" Wondered Vick.

"No one knows how the group mind-set works," mentioned Starky, who was standing beside her, with a smirk.

"Then maybe their minds need to be re-set?" Said Tak, then she walked towards the others who were still talking.

"Oh, my...I think something bad's going to happen..." said Vick, as she watched Tak walk over there.

"Why do you say that?" Asked Dib.

"Let's just call it 'Woman's Intuition'..." she replied, sweatdropping nervously.

"If that's anything like my Tarsey, then something bad is going to happen..." said Starky nervously. Dib just raised an eyebrow at this.

There was some loud noise, and Shloonktapooxis was somehow lodged inside Tarky's head -he didn't seem to have a mouth- and after that the others were completely obedient.

"Oh, my...!" Mumbled Dib as he rubbed his forehead and shook his head. He was actually rather amused at how she'd managed to do that; if only that it reminded him of what had happened to himself some time earlier when they were chasing after Zim. He'd ended up wedged in the middle of the guy who wears the Bloaty the Pizza Hog costume's stomach. It took them three hours and the Jaws of Life to rescue him from that predicament. In the meantime, Gaz was laughing her head off, while Tak watched on amusedly, drinking an alien soda. He now knew exactly how hilarious it looked, and was having a hard time keeping himself from laughing out of mutual respect for the familiar circumstance. Vick and Starky, however, weren't.

"Wow, you're actually managing to keep a straight face!" Vick said, "I admire your political awareness."

Looking straight at her with a look of incredulity, Dib said, "'Political Awareness'? Just what the heck are you talking about?!"

Laughing again, Vick said, "I don't know!"

Dead-pan, Dib replied, "Whatever," and went back to watching Tak's violent management of the group.

"Political...!" Laughed Starky.

"H-Hey, this reminds me of the time when you were stuck in that guy's stoma-" Vick started reminiscing on the widely-televised event previously mentioned.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THAT!?" Yelled Dib in embarrassment. It was one thing that it was broadcast all over the evening news nationwide -and in some cases world-wide- it was quite another thing to have it proclaimed to a bunch of aliens, especially an ambassador!

The two laughed even more, and then Starky said to Vick, "Hey, wait...some guy's stomach? So, like, did he get eaten?"

"Oh, no," replied Vick. Dib knew he was powerless to stop them now, but that didn't stop him from jumping and waving frantically. "He was actually just lodged within this really really fat guy's rolls of fat, and-"

"Aarrrggh! Oooouuugh!" Moaned Dib in dispair. He was crouching some ways away with his head in his hands. "In front of a bunch of aliens~!" The humiliation in front of tons of cool aliens was too heavy. Sure, he was used to his own people making fun of him, but aliens who didn't have benighted views on things? Awful.

'Oh, will you look at yourself!' Thought Tak as she walked back over to him. 'You can at least hold your fat, big head up!' She pulled him up by his hair-scythe -yet again- and said, "Are you done being pitiful yet?"

"Brings new meaning to the phrase, 'Stuck in a comfortable position!'" Starky was saying as he noticed Dib's malaise. "Actually, that's usually referred to my own position."

"Your position?" Asked Vick, at about the time Tak had arrive to pull Dib's head out of his knees.

'Oh, great, I think he's hitting on Vick,' thought Tak as she walked over to them.

'Hitting on her?!' Thought Dib incredulously. 'But he's an alien!' Then, after a moment's thought, 'Hey, didn't he say something about someone named Tarsey? Who was-'

'It was probably one of his wives. Crstl-ine males can have up to three wives, since the females greatly outnumber the males, and not all are fertile,' stated Tak blankly as she spoke to the two. Dib's curiousity was satisfied, so he didn't pursue the issue. It was also a slightly embarrassing issue.

"Hey, Genius, your ulterior motive's showing," said Tak cruelly as she stared up at them.

"Wh-wha-!?" Said Starky as the part on his head that was usually red-orange turned slightly purplish, almost like iridescence. He turned his head away and said, "What a rude thing to say!"

"What 'ulterior motive'?" Asked Vick. Starky had just been telling her about his totally pointless and cushy job. Apparently being an ambassador when one's planet was a part of the Irken Empire was rather like being the Almighty Tallest. All the glamor, without really having to do anything.

Tak motioned with her finger to come closer, so Vick leaned down, "As a female, do you really have to ask that question?" Whispered Tak.

Looking back at the embarrassed Starky who had been wandering off, Vick then said, "Oh, you've got to be kidding me! Seriously?! There's no way..." Tak just nodded. "Oh, I can't wait to tell my friends about this!" She then sort-of skipped off in the direction of the rest of the group, which had since been engaged in an interesting discussion with the inhabitants of the group of trees they had previously been confuzzled over.

Nobody quite knew what became of the issue after that, but Vick had a sort-of satisfied rosy tinge to her cheeks for the next few hours. Of course, that could also have been from all the running they were doing.

"That...was..." Dib started, but then said, "You know, I'm not really sure WHAT to say about this."

Tak just laughed because it was one of the few time's she'd seen him speechless.

"WHAT? WHAAAT!?" Shouted Dib, who'd missed the joke.

"Okay, kids~!" Said Vick in a sort-of sing-song voice. The group had returned with her and was staring at a laughing Tak and an angry Dib, and wondered why Starky had wandered off in embarrassment. "The current residents of the trees told us that it isn't large enough, but! There's a rather large out-cropping of rock that-a-way if we can get a move on before night." She seemed sort-of happy, and the others wondered if they should question it.

Vick was just flattered that an alien really wanted to flirt with her. 'Yes! Score one for my feminine wiles~!' She thought to herself. 'Even though I wasn't actually using them.'

After that, the group re-grouped, with poor Starky trying to avoid Vick. Vick didn't mind because she wasn't interested in him, anyways. They headed in the direction of the out-cropping of rock, making sure to back-track enough so they knew where their camp-site was.

(A/N: Okay, I think I've sufficiently made it clear enough that Starky was just flirting and Vick wasn't interested, so there won't be any romance between these two characters! But, you know...I can never be too careful with fan-fiction, right~?)

After walking for quite a long while, Dib finally sat down with a flop! and said, "Man, I could use a drink of water!"

"I know, *sigh* I wish we had some sort of scanner or some way of finding water..." said Vick, looking around.

"Like a dowsing rod," said Dib.

Vick snickered, "Yeah, but where're we gonna' find an elderberry branch around here?" Making silly paranormal jokes seemed like a good way to pass the time, but it did nothing to help the confusion of the folks around them.

"What's 'water'?" Asked Starky.

"What's a 'dowsing rod'?" Asked Shloonktapooxis.

"Why would you want an 'elderberry' branch?" Asked Trobulator. "Whatever that is."

"Well, I have a scanner, but it only works close-range," replied Tak helpfully. Dib was a bit surprised by this; but she seemed to indicate that it was safer in a group, and he had to agree with that assessment. Also, the Almighty Tallest were agreed to the group idea, and she didn't want to disobey them.

"OH!" Dib shouted as he suddenly got an idea, "Quick! Tak, scan the foliage and see if it has water in it!'

"Well, now you're using your brain," she said, as she pulled a small screen out of her pak and aimed it a the plants. "Yep, it looks like some of the plants actually live off of water. Huh. But not all of them. There's a lot of various types of plants here; that's odd. These usually wouldn't live on the same planets, let alone right next to each other."

"You're right," said Tarky, who'd successfully removed Shloonktapooxis with nothing more than a sore head-area. "These look like Ti Lan flowers, but those are Shloompy!"

"Hhhmmm..." Thought Vick. "I can't think of anything. It's too bad we can't make heads or tails of this place; if we were on Earth, I would think to follow the ravines or find a place with the thickest foliage. But here it's wall-to-wall jungle, and I know not all the plants survive on water! *Sigh* Man, this place SUCKS!"

"Okay, just WHAT in the HECK is WATER!?" Exclaimed Ploopoh, throwing his arms up.

"What?!" The others looked at him in shock at his sudden outburst.

"Oh, right! Sorry, it's an element on our planet made up of two hydrogen and an oxygen molecule. It's essential to life and covers approximately 70% of the planet. Does that help?" Replied Vick with a sweatdrop.

"Okay! Thanks! FINALLY!" Said Ploopoh, flinging his arms up again.

After taking a moment for all this information to sink in, the others sudden shouted, "HYDROGEN AND OXYGEN!?"

"But wouldn't that be all esplodey and stuff?" Asked Tarky worriedly.

Smirking at this sudden shock, Dib said, "Well, when they're co-bonded it doesn't really do much."

"Yeah, it's actually considered a neutral base..." Added Vick, with a hand to her chin thoughtfully.

"I bet that'd be horribly deadly to Irkens," replied Starky, smirking because he got the chance to get back at Tak for embarrassing him.

"You have no idea..." Said Tak through gritted teeth.

Trying to keep himself from giggling, (because he was sure Tak would injure him for it) Dib then said, "Hey, do you mind keeping that scanner out to look for water? In all this jungle we probably wouldn't see it, even if it is close by."

'You're just enjoying this little joke, aren't you?!' Thought Tak, then she added, 'Well, wait and see when we come across some vlarkae, you won't be laughing then!' Then she turned sharply on her heel and walked off. However, she still kept the scanner out, as per his request. "We should get a move on." She stated simply.

"Gee, what's in her cruller?" Asked Shloonktapooxis.

Almost losing his battle at not giggling, Dib said, "It's, uhm...I'll tell you later..." Then, after an angry growl from Tak up ahead, "Or, not at all!" He said as he started running.

"I have the feeling like we just missed a really good joke," muttered Ploopoh. The others agreed with him on that one.

After walking for what felt like another hour, (in reality it had only been 30 minutes) the group stumbled upon what could only be described as, "That great, big pile of bulbous, horrendously-ugly, rocks." As Dib so succinctly put it.

The large gray chunks of rocks rose above them in some sort of comment about painful fecal-matter, but they dismissed it. Perhaps if they'd payed attention to its comments on fecal pain, then the next series of events wouldn't have happened.

First, the most easily-dismissed thing happened: a cool wind blew. "Well, it looks like we've reached the rocks those fairies told us about. Now, what?" Said Vick, brushing her hair back as the wind blew it across her face. The cooling wind made her want to sit down and relax.

"I don't think that we should stay here," stated Shloonktapooxis. As usual, everybody took to ignoring him. Maybe if they'd payed more attention to his comments, the next events wouldn't have happened, and The Resisty would have a much better name -The Pirate Monkeys!

"I opt to settle down here for the night; I'm tired!" Said Starky, who wasn't used to all this activity.

"But what about the others?" Asked Vick. "They don't know where we've gone -we need to get a message to them somehow."

"Don't worry, I can do that," said Tak, pulling out a little communicator from her pak. "Advisor Sploods, this is Tak. Can you hear me?" As she waited for a response, the others looked on intently. Then, suddenly, a holo-screen sprang up from the tiny thing, showing a very tired and angry-looking Sploods.

"Yeah, waddaya' want!?" He shouted, looking like he had several bruises in several different places.

"Um, uh...what happened to you?" Tak was too curious to continue on as normal.

"Several DIFFERENT things, NOT including my wardrobe and attire! Now, whaddaya' want?!" Poor Sploods. He was so irate, it was almost comical.

"We've located a possible place to make a shelter," began Tak, and Dib felt it necessary to interrupt.

"Yeah, next to the great big pile of bulbous, horrendously-ugly, rocks!" Glaring at Dib and mentally telling him to shut-up, Tak continued.

"We're about ten schpeks away from our original location, and it's growing dark. If you go north from the camp-site," she continued, but Dib interrupted again.

"No, not north! There was that giant pit of thorny brambles, remember?" The rest of the group nodded in pained agreement. The fairies had warned them of it, and then Ploopoh had taken one look too far over the edge and fallen into it. It was painful for him, and the group pulling him out.

Tak glared again, this time mentally asking why he didn't interrupt with pertinent information more often, then continued her report, "He's right; you'll have to go around it, either east or west once you reach it. We went west around its edge, and I believe that might be the long route. But we don't know what's around the eastern edge, so please take care. Once you circumvent the pit of thorns, you'll probably be able to see the large gray rocks rising from the north. That's where you need to go."

"Oh, riiiiggghhht, sssuuuurrreeee... We'll pull Lard-BUTT'S head out of this giant blue ground-plant, then hike right over to where you are! *Sigh*" Sploods replied, then mumbled quietly, "Why'd I ever decide to go into politics...?!"

"Lard-nar got his head stuck in a giant blue ground-plant?" Asked Shloonktapooxis. "Wow!" He wiggled his little tail excitedly.

"Politics involves pulling someone's head out of a- nevermind!" Said Ploopoh quickly, realizing that voicing his inner questions was not the best of ideas right now.

"Yyyeaaah, so I'm gonna' have to help them -oh? What? You got it? Good!" Sploods showed the first good grin they'd seen on him today. Lard-nar showed up on the screen with his head next to Sploods', glaring. His head was, incidentally, covered in a yellowish-orange, translucent goo. It was neat. But he was not pleased.

"NO THANKS TO YOU," was all he said, as he glared sticks and stones at his hated adversary. Currently, they seemed to get on each other's nerves.

"Hey, the others found us a camp-site! One that's NOT in the middle of nowhere, and, has some nice rocks to protect us from, uh, stuff!" Replied Sploods, hopeful that he'd forget his anger and focus on that. It worked, and he did.

"The others found us some shelter?! Good! Then tell them to meet us back at the camp-site so they can lead us to it!" He replied, grinning.

The Shelter Group moaned collectively. "Nnnoo~oooo!" Shouted Ploopoh, "Anything but thaaa~aaat!"

"No way! You just gave them perfectly good directions!" Exclaimed Dib.

"And I ain't walking on these heels anymore -my feet are killing me!" Replied Vick, who'd sat down on a rock and was considering taking off her shoes.

Sighing, Tak said, "I guess I'll go -I'm the only one here who doesn't seem to be acting like a big baby!" She shot a look over at Dib, who decided there was just no pleasing this person today, and so stopped trying. He turned his head away and pouted.

"Okay, fine," sighed Lard-nar. "We'll meet you at the camp-site, then. We've got enough food here for a small meal; oh, and about that 'water' liquid," he flinched a bit when he said it, "It's found in little puddles and depressions, but just don't try to drink any that's in a river or stream or something. Apparently it's tainted with cyanide, arsenic, and stricknine." Both Dib and Vick grimaced accordingly. "But, surprisingly, the stuff in the puddles and little depressions is quite pure, so you just need to find something to carry it in."

"Phew! That's a relief!" Said Dib.

"Yeah, I didn't think we'd find any unless it rained or something," agreed Vick.

"What's 'rain'?" Asked Throbulator.

Sighing, Dib then began to explain the three forms of water and the water cycle; after which everybody was sufficiently bored. Maybe it was the boring sounds of Dib's talking which caused the next events.

"*Snarck!* Oh! Oh, uh...that was very...uh... Uh, interesting!" Replied Lard-nar, who had just barely managed to avoid falling asleep. Shloonktapooxis didn't fare so well, and bobbed up and down on Ploopoh's head, sleep-floating.

Poor Sploods looked like he was watching a children's show, his brain almost comatose from lack of activity, and he was happy when Lard-nar punched his head to snap him out of it.

"Wow...Irkens don't sleep, but I'm sure I almost went comatose," they could hear Tallest Red off-screen.

Tallest Purple moaned and Agent Nessie smacked himself on the head in a classic face-palm.

"Dib, you are never, ever allowed to give any explanations, ever again!" Said Vick, looking like she was about to slap him.

"What?! But -" on seeing all their glares, Dib simply said, "Oh, alright!"

"Dib's voice seems to resonate with my crystalline structure in a way similar to sleep," commented Crystal from over the communicator.

"You mean...he's boring you to sleep?" Replied Lard-nar, getting a laugh.

"Um, no...I mean it feels like I just took a rest and now I'm awake! Let's get going!" Replied Crystal, jumping up and down.

"Well, his boring voice does have a purpose," stated Lard-nar in surprise. Everyone nodded. "We should get moving again, or we won't make it to the camp-site before dark."

"Oh, alright~!" Moaned Tallest Purple.

"After that long-winded explanation? I wouldn't mind climbing a mountain!" Replied Tallest Red with a slight smirk.

"Alright, we'll contact you if there's any trouble. Sploods out." The communicator's screen went dark.

"I'll go meet them at the camp-site," said Tak as she put the communicator back into her pak.

'You mean you're going alone?!' Dib thought at her, not wanting to seem overly concerned. But someone else wasn't too worried.

"You're going out there alone!?" Exclaimed Throbulator.

"That's not a very good idea," replied Starky.

"At least let one of us go with you, it's getting late," added Tarky.

"Then who else wants to hike back there?!" Replied Tak simply. There was silence from the group.

"I guess I'll go," sighed Dib at last.

'No! Stupid!' Said Tak mentally, then she said, "You humans need to conserve your strength; without water, you're useless."

Glaring at her, Dib couldn't refute her claim. They'd been hiking for at least a couple of hours now, running a lot, and his mouth was as dry as a desert. He didn't even want to think about how they'd bathe. 'I'm not an idiot,' was all he could think of to think in reply to her claim.

"She has a point," said Vick.

"Then take Shloonktapooxis, he doesn't have any legs, and he can float!" Replied Dib angrily. Quite frankly, her mood for this entire day was getting on his nerves. And it didn't help that she was psychically sharing it with him.

"Yeah!" Agreed Tarky.

Sighing, Tak grabbed the triangular alien, who was still snoozing on Ploopoh's head, and walked off to the south-east. She was going to try and get back to the camp-site from that direction, though the jungle looked even thicker through there.

"See ya'!" Said several people, as she walked off.

After a few minutes passed, Tarky spoke up and said, "So...who wants to play a game?" The others moaned and collapsed into their comfortable positions on the ground.

"Throbulator! Wants to play a game!" Exclaimed Throbulator in that odd way of his. That we all love~!

"Cool!" Said Tarky, and he went on explaining the rules of whatever game it was they were going to play.

Dib sighed and leaned back on a stone. 'I wonder how Tak's getting along... Even though she's being a big jerk to me today,' he thought.

'I'm not being a big jerk, YOU ARE!' Tak shouted mentally back at him, making him frown and glare a bit. He wasn't even going to try to figure this one out.

A faint whooshing sound came overhead. But everyone, being too tired, ignored it. There it came again, only louder this time. And then it came the third time, a shrieking whistling coming to their ears/hearing organs. After they looked up, it was already too late. A very large flying creature, closely resembling a brilliantly pinkish-red feathered bird with green skin, was dropping something light green at them. Screaming, they all had a split-second to react. Most ran away from the thing, Dib included.

It hit Dib right square in the head.

While the others peaked out from their hiding places, Dib painfully pulled himself up. The bird was still flying in the sky, but it didn't come at them again. It seemed to be looking for something else.

"Psst! Run, Dib! Run!" Said Vick from behind a small tree. (A/N: Everybody, now! "Run, Forrest, run!")

"Uuuwaauulggh~" moaned Dib, trying to stumble towards the rocks for a hiding-place.

In the dusky twilight, it was getting harder and harder to see. They hid for what seemed like hours, but though they could see it in the sky at times, it didn't come near them again. Hiding under anything they could find, they could faintly make out several screams from a distance. They grew much louder, and now they realized whose they were.

"It's the others!" Said Throbulator, remarkably quiet.

"I wonder what they've been up to?" Asked Tarky.


Backing up a bit, we can find out what they were up to, and what was happening then.

The Food Group had finally started heading back after communicating with Tak. Agent Nessie's coat was turned into a food-carrying tarp, and he and Crystal ended up carrying it most of the time.

Lard-nar was usually arguing with Sploods or anyone who decided to say something even slightly favoring the Irkens. Sploods had a hard time walking with his long robes, and kept tripping and even falling into things. He eventually had to cut part of them off, but he didn't like it.

The Almighty Tallest were bored and glad they could hover over the rough terrain, but it didn't mean they were free of the branches and stuff.

And Crystal was just happy to be getting back; she was sure she couldn't stand another minute with those annoying males.

As they walked along, Crystal sang a song, so she could drown out their voices. The bird-thing's piercing cry was heard, and everyone stopped, listening. It didn't seem too far off, but they couldn't tell where it was coming from. They continued on again, just in time to reach the pool of slimy, poisonous muck they'd had to pull Lard-nar out of on the first part of their trek.

Snickering about it, -except for Lard-nar, of course, who still had black stains on his skin- they all proceeded to avoid it. Then Agent Nessie stepped in a patch of what apparently were cacti, and stung himself on some puffy -hopefully not poisonous- balls extending from a tree branch.

The Tallest rushed to save the food, and Agent Nessie was extracted without too much trouble. The rest of the way, they all laughed about puffy balls and slimy, poisonous muck, much to Lard-nar and Agent Nessie's chagrin. The food tarp had to be taken away from the Tallest because they were munching on the food, which was the sole reason they hadn't been carrying it before...

There was a rush of wind, and they were all almost blown down. Crouching cautiously, they peered upwards, just in time to see yellow, hard-as-rocks fruit being hurled at them. (They knew they were hard as rocks because they'd tried eating them before.) Screaming loudly, everyone ran, the Tallest gathering up the corners of the food tarp and running off with it, to "keep it safe".

Nobody had the sense to argue when yellow, hard-as-rocks fruit was being thrown at them, and so they ran off towards the camp-site -at least, what they assumed was the general direction of it. Without conversing, it was hard to really tell where they were going. They could very well have been heading into the pit of thorns, for all they knew!

Clasps the blob-woman lifted her head at the sounds of screaming and rustling coming from the bushes. "Hey, does anyone else hear that?"

The other two, Lasch-mik and Vrilly, looked up as well and listened carefully. There was silence for what seemed like a good long minute, before-

"AAAAAHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Agent Nessie came hurtling through the bushes, screaming. Lard-nar and Sploods were right behind him, and Crystal was next, followed by... There was no one following.

Looking around, they slowly began to take stock of where they were and what they'd been doing.

"Hey!" Lard-nar finally said, "Where are those guys?!"

"Ah!" Crystal screamed as she realized what he was saying.

"CURSES! They had the FOOD WITH 'EM!" Exclaimed Lard-nar.

"HEY!" Shouted Sploods, totally fed up with Lard-nar blaming them for everything. "That BIRD was chasing after us -it probably caught THEM 'cause they had the FOOD!"

"HUH!?" Exclaimed Clasps, Lasch-mik, and Vrilly.

"NOOOOOEEEEESSS! WHATEVER SHALL WE DOOOOOO~OOO!?" Shouted Vrilly, falling to her knees and grabbing the small strands of hair that stuck out from under her hat. Then she looked up and noticed everyone staring at her.

Silence.

"Oh, what?!" She asked. "Like I'M the ONLY one who thinks that if the leading government of an Empire falls, it'll be bad for the economy? Huh?"

The others blinked, and considered that for a moment.

"Well, yes, but, considering that the Almighty Tallest don't exactly make the decisions-" Began Lard-nar, just before another "whooshing" sound was heard, and they all looked in its direction, half-expecting the bird to come swooping down on them at that moment.

But instead, they saw a very different scene. The Almighty Tallest had climbed a very large, reddish, bulbous-looking...thing. It looked halfway between a tree and a rock, and they were using it to hide from the bird. For whatever reason.

"DON'T YOU DARE COME ANY CLOSER!" Shouted Tallest Purple, grasping the "sack" of food tightly.

"WE'LL JUMP! WE-ER, I SWEAR!" Shouted Tallest Red.

"HEY!" Shouted Tallest Purple again, for some reason offended by this.

"I thought you said you didn't want me to swear in your name unless you agreed to it," Tallest Red's words were mostly drowned out by the shrieking of the bird "whooshing" over again.

"I only thought that-" Started Tallest Purple, but then the bird came swooping towards them, large beak open for breakfast. Well, actually, dinner, but let's not dwell on semantics, eh?

The two Tallest then screamed, and then did the most silly act of selfless bravery; silly, because they could float, and selfless, because the bird hit its wing as it flew by. They jumped down from the rock-tree, "landing" in a floating "pwouf"-sound, since they almost hit the ground and their anti-gravity generators had to work over-time just to stop their descent. And finally, bravery, since they were both obviously scared witless by the time they jumped.

They didn't act like it, of course, when they stood up again, but that wasn't like them to do much of, anyways. Modesty wasn't in their job-description. Ordering people around was! The bird didn't come back for a few minutes since it hurt its wing on the rock-tree, and they were equally resting from all the predicaments as well.

"You! Adviser!" Shouted Tallest Red, who first regained his breath, "Take this food and keep it safe." Nodding, Tallest Purple handed the large "sack"' made up of Agent Nessie's coat to Sploods as he took it from him.

"*Hauh* That, *Haugh!* was NUTS!" Stated Tallest Purple, getting his breath back. "I haven't moved that much since Elite Training!"

"Psh, I know, tell me about it!" Replied Tallest Red, "We need to get going. I think that bird may be back for us if we stay here."

"'Get going' where?!" Exclaimed Clasps. "What the heck's been going on?! Where are the others!?"

"Oh, right!" Said Sploods, slapping his forehead.

"Sorry, forgot you weren't there," added Agent Nessie.

"We recieved a message from Tak, saying that they'd found some rocks we could take shelter in," replied Tallest Purple.

"Yeah, but then that BIRD-THING started chasing us," added Tallest Red.

"And we had to skizs it all the way here!" Added Sploods, who was now sitting down, still holding onto the food-bag.

"Well, at least we've got food," replied Lard-nar. He was too tired to add what he was thinking, 'If certain people haven't eaten it all, first.'

"We should get going, though. Or at least hide ourselves from that bird!" Commented Crystal as she eyed the sky warily.

"Don't we have to wait for Tak?" Asked Sploods, remembering their agreement. "She was gonna' show us the way."

"That bird won't be away for long; it's got to be pretty angry," said Clasps, remarkably paying attention to this horrifying conversation.

"We don't have enough time, so maybe we can meet her on the way there," replied Crystal.

"Well I think we should wait for Tak!" Replied Sploods, now rested enough to feel annoyed.

"What!? That's the stupidest idea-" Lard-nar joined the conversation, and it instantly devolved into an argument.

"WHAT'D YOU CALL ME!?" Shouted Sploods as everyone bickered.

"I'm ordering you all to SHUT-UP!" Shouted Tallest Purple, who was not listened to.

"Well, YOU'RE a BIG POO-DOO HEAD!" Shouted Lard-nar as the group argument continued.

"Wait, shouldn't we be taking shelter, or.. something?" Asked Agent Nessie, who was just barely audible over the bickering.

"Look, I'M the TALLEST, and I say that we should-" Tallest Red's voice rose above the din for a second before drowning again in the sea of disagreement.

"Oh, wow-" came Clasps' voice as a new person walked in. Tak was just standing there, staring at the debaucle with Shloonktapooxis, surprisingly wearing the same expression on her face: that of shock and slight disappointment.

"Wow, it's just like a REAL POLITICAL DEBATE!" Exclaimed Shloonktapooxis, which caused the others to stop arguing once they'd realized who it was.

"SHLOONK!" Yelled Lard-nar. "THERE you are!"

"See?!" Said Sploods, "Didn't I tell you they were close by now!?"

"What?! No, you didn't!" Yelled Lard-nar, "You didn't tell us anything-"

Just as Sploods was yelling back about how he had but Lard-nar just hadn't been listening, Tak suddenly shouted, "BE QUIEEEEEEET!" There was silence. The entire group turned to look at her, and finally observed that she looked a lot less-than-fresh.

First of all, she looked tired -there was sap all over her, and she had some tears in the fabric of her clothes- there had been a battle of avoiding tentacled plant-type monsters, and she didn't like having to extract both herself, and Shloonktapooxis from them. The first time had been her, the second time him, and they both now knew that the only way to avoid them was to find out where they were hiding. But she didn't voice all this. Instead, she simply said, "Everyone, follow me; and move quickly -there's not much time before night!"

"You're kidding me!" Said Lard-nar. "We've just been running this entire time from some kind of bird-type thing!"

"Then we'd better hurry, before it returns," replied Tak evenly. Lard-nar still didn't seem convinced, and the Tallest decided to add to this.

"Do you have a better idea!?" Exclaimed Tallest Purple. He was actually hoping there was an alternative to all that activity.

Lard-nar didn't; he just didn't like having to agree with his enemies, and right now his tolerance was at a low ebb. "Let's just get going." He said in a low voice, trudging off in a singluar direction.

Seeing that the arguement was over, Shloonktapooxis said, "Alright! Then let's form a line, Ladies and Gentlemen and, uh, Others! Let's get this show on the road!" His little tail twitched to point the way and wiggled at the last line.

Tak turned away and started leading the group, now consisting of herself, Shloonktapooxis, the two Tallests, Sploods, Lard-nar, Agent Nessie, Crystal, Vrilly, Clasps, and Lasch-mik. On the way, Tak pointed out the dangerous, hulking plant-monsters which hid slightly underground to blend in so they could attack passersby. But what they didn't know was that avoiding them meant falling prey to even more painful dangers.

Hiking through the jungle was long and arduous; the going was bad enough when they had some kind of path, but now there was no discernable path and it kept getting thicker. Hiding behind some bright green ferns with smooth leaves from the flying bird-thing, they breathed a sigh of relief as the bird passed over. But some other surprisingly similar bird-like sounds were sounding from deep in the jungle all around them.

"Okay, this is just great!" Exclaimed Lard-nar sarcastically. "Just what in the heck are we doing!?"

"What are you talking about!?" Yelled an annoyed Sploods.

"We really should be slashing our way out of here! Or something like that! What about using lasers to make a hole in this dense, thickness!" Replied Lard-nar.

"And THEN we'll end up getting attacked by who knows what's out there!" Exclaimed Vrilly.

"Yeah, great, that sounds like a great idea!" Mumbled Tak in the front. "Just keep moving, everybody!"

Despite everyone's annoyances and bickering, they were making good time, until Lard-nar complained about something biting him on the leg. "Yeowch! What WAS that!?"

"What was what, honey?" Asked his mother with sincere concern.

"I think something just bit me on the leg!" Replied Lard-nar, stopping to bend down and look at it.

"I'm sure it was just some little bug; come on, people, we have to keep going!" Groaned Sploods, completely ignoring his pain.

"Ouwch!" Lard-nar exclaimed as he looked at the now-green-lump growing on his leg. "That doesn't look good..."

"Then it's a good thing I was in medical science," replied his mother, as she observed it. "It doesn't appear to be infected; but its color is most peculiar...!"

"That's one of the worst things I've heard you say," Lard-nar replied, referring to the fact that she only used the words, "most peculiar" when it was something serious.

"Oh, don't worry; it's just that I have no idea what this is! That's all," replied his mother, as if it was no big deal and that he shouldn't be worried. He, being her son, was doubly worried, now.

"Come ON!" Said Sploods once again in annoyance. Then, suddenly, they heard Clasps shout.

"Ow!"

"What's wrong?!" Asked the two who were closest to her, Vrilly and Crystal.

"I think I got bit by something," she replied, somewhat worried.

"Ah!" Yelled Sploods, "I got bit, too!"

"Man!" Shouted Vrilly, "These little bitey-things are EVERYWHERE!"

"I'm getting bit, and I'm not even sure how they're managing to do it!" Exclaimed Crystal, whose crystalline structure was surely a deterrent to most insect bitey-things.

Pretty soon everyone was dancing around, getting bit; all except for Tak and Shloonktapooxis, who looked on with surprise. "Huh! Now that's new and interesting!" Said Shloonktapooxis, staring at the group behind them who were looking sufficiently menaced by the little biting things.

"I think that maybe we shouldn't have tried to skirt those other plant-monsters," replied Tak as she contemplated the current situation. It was odd that only she and Shloonktapooxis were unaffected, and the only difference she could see was that they'd been almost absorbed/eaten/torn apart by those plant-like creatures they'd encountered on their trek to find the group. The saliva/juices from those things was probably acting as a little-bitey-things-repellent.

But before she could say something to potentially help the rest of the group out of this painful predicament, some green goo-ish slipping monster dashed out of the dense thicket around them and swished past. Jumping back, both Tak and Shloonktapooxis stared in beweilderment as it happened. "What in the HECK!?"

There was a faint sense of danger coming from either side -turning back to the group, both Tak and Shloonktapooxis said, "EVERYBODY, RUUUUN!" before the strange creatures began their all-out attack.

Although they couldn't see them, the said creatures were about six feet tall and had a slick green outer skin; it was so slick, it almost looked slimy. They seemed to have little eyes of varying colors, number, and placements on the front of their heads, but they didn't seem very good at using them. Their mouths were wide and large, about like a "Yup Yup" muppet's mouth. Or a frog, whichever one you can picture more easily. They seemed about as intelligent as a large animal, but their hunting style could best be described as like a wolf-pack.

They charged after the group and continued chasing them, trying to wear them down until they could pick them off, one by one. Grabbing out with its six arms, one almost got Agent Nessie and Lard-nar, who'd stayed behind to make sure the rest of the group made it. (That was greatly appreciated by Agent Nessie, who by this time was very worn out; he wasn't used to this kind of activity, he was a pharmacist in Scotland, dang-it!)

As they ran faster, someone managed to pull out a gun of some kind and blast one of the green creatures. It barely singed it, but unlike a relentless wolf-pack, these creatures high-tailed it out of there. Huh. There was an audible, low-toned howl coming out of the jungle around them, and a couple of members of the group briefly wondered how the others were doing.


Back with the others...

As for the other half of the group, the Shelter Group, they'd found a whole new kettle of fish to fry in... Wait a minute, that doesn't make sense...!

The group's relaxation, previously broken by the large bird-thing, was now converted into terrified hiding -which was once again broken by the forces of nature. Those "forces" in question being a very large "Soil Monster", that seemed to think that they were "annoying squatters" who wouldn't pay rent!...

It didn't help that some of them were hiding underneath the Soil Monster's prized Space Azaelias...

The small group of Dib, Vick, Throbulator, Ploopoh, Tarky, and Starky, ran off after the Soil Monster roared, sending little bits of sharp rocks hurtling towards them. Thankfully, they managed to avoid most of them, with the exception of Dib -who took the most damage. To his head. In his defense, the Soil Monster seemed the most perterbed at him, because he kept asking it questions.

In Dib's defense, it really wasn't the first time a dirt-dwelling thingy was hurtling rocks at him: just the first time he'd run into one that could talk. His head also made quite the blockade for the others. It was almost as if things were drawn towards it or something...!

After running -once again!- for a heart-pounding few minutes, they ran into a fire-spurter. No, literally, there were these things, just underneath a cliff, that were spurting fire, or some kind of lava, straight up into the air! "WHAT'S WITH THIS PLAAA~AACCCEEE!?" Exclaimed Throbulator, as they skirted this and wound up hiding in some caves on the side of a cliff.

"Geeze!" Said Vick as they stopped to rest, "I almost wound up french-fried, there!"

"Yeah," grinned Starky, "And Dib wound up crisp-cut!" He pointed to Dib's hair, which was still smoking from where the fire-spurter's sparks had singed him. He frowned at this and rubbed his head in the dirt, hoping to put it out.

"Ulgh!" Said Vick, in a sudden epiphany, "I just realized, that taking a bath on this planet is REALLY going to suck!"

The other aliens just blinked, hoping she'd explain herself. They hated making assumptions about other species; waaaayyy too many wars started out like that. So if a "bath" wasn't what they thought it was, then...that'd be awkward. Terribly.

"Woah! Yeah, I never thought of that!" Exclaimed Dib, "I mean, even if we can find a body of water large enough, how are we gonna' get soap?!"

The mention of "soap" made everything clear to the others, who nodded their heads in agreement. "Oooh! Yeah, that's gonna' suck!" Agreed Tarky.

"Throbulator! Thinks it's a good idea to start looking for things to use to clean ourselves with," commented said Throbulator, as he looked around at the shining rocks and crystals which were lining the walls of their little cave. Just like most caves with an outside access large enough to accomodate a body, this one was quite shallow. He hoped they could possibly find some kind of "Jeulicious Rock Crystals", like the kind from planet Juicilious, which people frequently used to scrub themselves with. It wasn't likely, but, hey! It was worth a try~!

"Good idea," said Dib, as he put a hand to his chin and thought about what they could use to do that.

"Phhphhh...! Yeah, let's keep a look out," agreed Starky, who was growing visibly more tired by the second.

Vick eyed him, but instead decided to look around the cave. She didn't care enough to actually bother with his exhaustion. Quite frankly, they were all tired, and she didn't like the idea of staying here on this planet longer than a week and a half. Though the possibility of it was quite large, at this rate.

Ploopoh was also of this similar frame of mind when he stated, "I bet there's lots of things we're going to miss," then, looking out the cave, he said, "That blob-woman thing will be particularly annoyed at that..."

The others looked up, but didn't say anything, besides Dib, who didn't know when a subject was best not to be questioned. "What? Why?!"

Throbulator took the opportunity to smack him upside the head, although he usually wouldn't.

"What?!" Asked Dib, rubbing the back of his head. It didn't hurt as much physically as it did emotionally. "All I said was-!" It was then that Starky took the chance to shove a rock into his mouth, and the others giggled at this. Vick came walking back from the small tunnel to their left, and smirked when she saw this.

"What's the matter, Dib, rock got your tongue?" Smirked Vick as she squeezed back into the crowded cave. Dib just glared at this.

"'What's it like back there?" Asked Throbulator, glad to have a change of conversation from the awkward.

Vick shook her head, "It gets even smaller as it goes on -you'd have to be either a contortionist or a squid to get through there!" The others nodded and sighed.

A rumbling occurred just then, and they all tensed up and looked around. Soon, the rocks around them started glowing, and the one inside Dib's mouth squirbled until it rose to a high-pitched "squeak!" at which point he pulled it out of his mouth in shock and amazement. But that soon turned to horror as they realized that the cave around them was changing.

Not wasting a moment to find out whether or not it was dangerous, they rushed out just in time to witness the cliffside becoming the shape of a fist, shaking angrily at them. The little rock which had been inside Dib's mouth was squirbling in a somewhat sobbing sound, and they witnessed the cave-face morph closed until their previous hiding-place was soon transformed into a sheer, unscalable cliff-face once again. They all decided that leaving was the best option.


The combined Food Group and Stay-there-and-make-a-fire Group were also having quite the time, hiking in the jungle as they made their way unknowingly to their campsite where the Soil Monster lived.

The first one to notice that something was wrong was Agent Nessie, although he wasn't in the front of the group. "Hey, guys...? Aren't there supposed to be..." he didn't finish his sentence as someone turned to look him right in the face.

"What?!" Said Clasps in a deep, gruff voice that he'd never heard before. And it was, frankly, quite frightening. But besides that...

"I'm -actually, there's no one there...I mean, I can see the bulbous, horrendously-ugly rocks that they were talking about, but no one's there!..." his ability to get over the shock of Clasps' deep-throated voice was quite impressive. Even moreso when she began howling!

"I'm sure there's a really good explanation for it~! No need to howl in depression~!" Lasch-mik comforted her gently, along with Vrilly.

"You're RIGHT!" Exclaimed Lard-nar as he looked around.

They had now reached the camp-site, and everyone who was supposed to be there, was not. Tak just growled and looked around mentally.

"Maybe they went off to get something...?" Said Clasps in a slightly higher voice, more like her normal one.

Just as she'd said this, Tak had recieved "DANGER!" warnings from Dib, and the ground shook as the Soil Monster rose up.

"Just WHAT in the HECK is WITH EVERYBODY TODAY?! Bothering an OLD MAN when he's SLEEPING?!"

The small little group decided that it'd be much better to run -off in a direction not that different than the one the Shelter Group had taken.


Back with the Shelter Group...

They had taken an altogether different route from the one they had earlier. Thus, they were quite surprised when they found themselves heading back in the direction of the cliff with the fire-spurts, but on the other side across the canyon. It was a narrow trail, right up against a mountain, the same one with the cave they'd tried hiding in earlier. Considering that it was in the complete OPPOSITE direction...this was confusing and weird!

"Hey!" Exclaimed Vick, "Weren't we just here...?"

"I'm getting a strange feeling of having been here before..." commented Ploopoh.

"I think we just went in circles!" Exclaimed Starky.

"You and me, both!" Replied Tarky.

"Okay, okay! Let's just get our bearings," replied Dib, for once taking charge of something. He'd been in these kinds of situations before -times when certain paranormal phenomenon would change the surrounding lanscape, or trap you in a vision of a maze of some sort, to keep you trapped or confused. He also knew that the mountain they were standing beside could morph to change shape. "We already know what way we were going -I mean, the sun's in the same place!" He pointed to said solar orb hovering just above the tree-tops as it was setting.

"But what does that have to do with anything!?" Panicked Tarky. He wouldn't say it, but he really didn't like being led around in circles with no way out, and he was also so tired he couldn't stand himself.

"What I MEAN, is that the MOUNTAIN can MOVE!" Exclaimed Dib, less-than patient, and also tired.

"But, that means that it's been changing! Forcing us to walk this way!" Exclaimed Throbulator, though more modulated in tones than when he was just shouting his own name. (A/N: Am I the only one who's imagining Throbulator singing Aerosmith's "Walk This Way", now?)

"Right! Then that means that it must WANT us to go this way!" Added Vick, holding a finger up victoriously.

"Exactly!" Said Dib, "This direction only leads along the edge; and those flame-spurts down the edge of the cliff are obviously dangerous...so...I guess that means it wants to get rid of us...?" He put a hand to his chin as he thought, not considering how panicked he was making the others.

"But I think I see something up ahead like a little ledge; maybe we could use that thing to get across this canyon?" Asked Ploopoh, before Tarky could freak out over what Dib said.

"What?!" Asked both Dib and Vick as they spun around to look where he was pointing. Sure enough, there was a ledge poking out, just close enough for even the short-legged ones of their group to make a good leap across it.

"Well," stated Throbulator, "At least it's not vindictive." He said this about the Mountain creature-thing which was apparently messing with them. There was a bit of silence, then Starky spoke up before anyone else could.

"I say we go that way."

Taking a look around the group, they gradually sighed and agreed to give it a chance.

It was only a short walk before they reached the ledge, although it had seemed much longer to begin with. They reached it and looked down before venturing to cross it. They also had to play "Rock, Paper, Scissors," to decide who went first. That didn't go too well... Finally, Ploopoh decided to step up, since he had hooves and could probably jump a lot farther than the others could.

It was all going well -most of the group had made it across the small, little two-foot gap- until there came the weirdest sounds.

Something like the rush of wind and shrieks, then followed by blue blobs, about the size of a dodge-ball, and the raining down of said blue blobs... It was strangely horrifying...but they didn't bother with the semantics, as absolutely EVERYTHING on this planet seemed either ready or willing to kill them...and they didn't take any chances. They raced off in one singular direction.

They took no notice where they were going until...

*WHAM!*

They hit and became entangled in another group, running from what could be considered a rather similar and familiar predicament.

They tossed and rolled around, until finally righting themselves to find both the Soil Monster and the blue blobs surrounding them.

"YOU guys!" Exclaimed Ploopoh.

"Oh, good..." mumbled Agent Nessie.

"You're here!" Exclaimed Tallest Red, before the combined growling of both the Soil Monster and the Blue Blobs caused them all to cohesively think, 'Oh, great~!'

"Uhm, guys..." said Vick, nervously. "I think we should run...!"

Nobody had time to say anything else, snide or not, when the Soil Monster and Blue Blobs charged. Everyone dove out of the way, hoping the two sides would keep each other occupied whilest they split up. Eventually everyone found each other again as they started running around in circles: first from those mysterious green, slick creatures which attacked them from the jungle as they were running.

Second, they almost went over the edge of the cliff as they ran from them, just narrowly avoiding the fall. They didn't even realize what happened to the Soil Monster, because they were too busy putting as much space between themselves and their attackers as they could.

The next incident was completely unpredictable.

The Slick Green Creatures ran head-first into the Soil Monster's mouth, for some strange reason. Then the Blue Blobs followed them...but they didn't go into the Soil Monster's mouth. Instead, the Soil Monster seemed angered and enraged by them, and an epic, un-seen battle ensued! Which none of the group of aliens noticed. It involved some sort-of fire-power being utilized on the part of the Soil Monster by shooting the half-eaten parts of the Slick, Green Creatures at the Blue Blobs.

The eventual quieting down occurred once the Soil Monster was led into the firey-spurts and half-burnt. After that, he went around in circles until he collapsed; then expelled a gas that smelt slightly like fresh oxygen and burnt sunflowers. The group of aliens stopped running for their lives long enough to see the Soil Monster collapse and then... The Blue Blobs came and ate everything inside except for the bones, which formed a perfect over-hanging shelter.

Everyone just stared and blinked at it. The remaining few of the Slick Green Creatures moaned at their fellows' loss, but then retired.

After that, it started raining.

Which wouldn't have been so bad for at least a couple of the species in their group; with the exception that...

Apparently, on this planet, the rain made EVERYONE burn!

Jumping up and down, the unanimous thought finally occurred to them to run and hide underneath the inexplicable shelter.

"SHEEESH!" Exclaimed Vick, shaking off some of the painful water-droplets. They felt painful and tingly...for some strange reason, they also reminded her of some make-up she used to own...

Agent Nessie sat down and sighed. "Acidic WATER! What else can go-" once he saw that everyone was staring at him, horrified, he said, "...right?" The others sighed and collapsed.

Dib and Tak had sufficiently forgotten about their previous "fight", whatever it was, and Dib was mentally pestering Tak for scanner readings. "AAARRRGE!" Exclaimed Tak in aggravation, for all the reasons we can think of. "The stuff falling from the sky must be-"

"It smells like Hydrogen Peroxide," interrupted Vrilly; though no one seemed to care at this point. Though a few -the humans, primarily- did wonder about how she could smell without a nose. She had a nose, but it was a fake, strap-on one. Not really useful at all for olfactory sense.

"Yes." Finished Tak, putting away the scanner. "It's at about 28 percent; it looks like we won't be going out in it any time soon."

The others blinked, stared, and gulped -or whatever their species did when nervous- respectively.

"That does explain those pure puddles of water," Agent Nessie spoke up.

"What?" Asked Vick, "Why is that again? It reminded me of that, too...but I don't know why."

"It's just unstable -Hydrogen Peroxide is usually unstable- and it'll typically lose its extra oxygen molecule, becoming pure water." Replied Dib succinctly. He was too tired to go rambling on; plus, the explanation really didn't call for that.

"Oh, right! That was what!" Replied Vick.

"Didn't Professor Membrane do a show on that? 'Hydrogen Peroxide -The Killer of Chemists!'" Said Agent Nessie thoughtfully.

Dib smirked at this -it did sound awfully familiar- "Yeah, I guess. It was a while ago, though...the whole chemistry set was in the early seasons..." he put a hand to his chin thoughtfully. It'd been a while since he'd thought about this.

"Not that this whole conversation is without its merits..." began Lard-nar, "But, what are we going to do, now?"

"AAARRRGGGEEE!" Exclaimed the Almighty Tallest. Both were flopped over in different positions -Purple leaning forward onto his knees, and Red flopped back on the rocks they were sitting on. "WHO CARES!?" Exclaimed Tallest Red.

"Yeah!" Echoed Tallest Purple weakly.

"We're never getting OUT of here with all that- that- whatever! Falling out there!" Tallest Red announced, flailing an arm weakly.

"Yeah, and I'm too tired to run, now!" Replied Vrilly.

"I think my legs have had more than enough of a stretch," agreed Lasch-mik.

"I'm tired, my clothes are torn up, and all I really want are some snacks we don't have here!" Exclaimed Sploods irritably. "I'm en-TIRELY sick of this."

"I was just getting to enjoy my leg-stretch," bragged Lard-nar, although he was also extremely exhausted. Dib's next comment soon popped his little pride-bubble.

"Good! Then you can stand watch while we nap!" He found himself a reasonably smooth spot on the ground and curled up. He was far more than exhausted!

Tak wandered over to a somewhat secluded corner and thought about the current predicament -her own, rather. Her intense contemplation nagged at the back of Dib's mind, so he replied to it.

'Goodnight, Tak! Maybe tomorrow you can tell me why you're so ticked, huh?' Thought Dib as his eyes closed.

'We can talk right now. Just as long as your reactions to what I'm going to say are calm.' Replied Tak. She wasn't so worried and irritated with him anymore -and even willing to talk. That sort of thing came with exhaustion.

'Mmm. Okay. I guess.' Dib's eyes were fluttering, trying to stay open.

'Do you remember what happened after I left?' Asked Tak carefully, leading him in.

'No. What happened?' Thought Dib, half-asleep by now. He couldn't remember anything about after she left... And his mind was fogging up with the mist of sleep.

'Nevermind, you're already half-asleep,' replied Tak with an almost disappointed sigh.

Their short little conversation took only a few seconds. Meanwhile, the rest of the group was getting comfotable. Throbulator had already found his little rock to lay a portion of his large, brainy-head on. While he did this, Lasch-mik and Vrilly took it upon themselves to make a fire with the small bits of stuff they could find lying around. The others instantly assembled around it, and Clasps contemplated melting into small little puddles for her resting...but decided it would be too weird while most of the others were awake.

The group barely talked until gradually conversation died completely and the sun disappeared behind the jungle-covered horizon.

The first day was over. Now came the first night.


END CHAPTER 1


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AUTHOR'S NOTES: There'll be a lot more happening in the next chapters to come, really! And, they probably won't be quite as long as they were in "PSYCH-OUT!", so you won't be bogged down with all that reading.

The only down-side of this is that I haven't exactly gotten all the chapters written up yet, and so you'll have to wait a little bit longer in between updates. (I've been updating so regularly nowadays, that it'll seem like a drag to have to do that again, won't it? *Laughs* Anyways, I'll try my best to update as regularly as possible, since I already have the main gist down of how this story goes~!

CHARACTERS:

The characters...I don't know, really! Only eleven of them are actually canon, and...well, really, I don't know where my head was when it came up with the rest! Really! Seriously, we only see Agent Tuna Ghost and Agent Nessie in shadows, although we hear their voices. I made up pictures of what they would look like, sos you can peek at my Deviant Art page for those.

Then there's Sploods, who, honestly, only has a walk-on role in "Battle of the Planets", and there he's just whispering to Tallest Red, "His name is Invader Skoodge." He's just credited as "Advisor", sos I gave him a name! I love that name...! *Giggles*

Also, SHLOONKTAPOOXIS ROOOCKS! *Laughs* That is all...!

Then there's Crystal and Throbulator, from "Hobo 13" (my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE episode EVER!) and they didn't really have much to do, either...! *Sighs* In any case, I'm trying to keep to their original personalities, but, uh...IT'S KIND-OF HARD WHEN THEY HAVE ALMOST NO PARTS! *Sighs* ANYWAYS...!

And... Don't even ASK me where in the HECK Lard-nar's MOM came from! *Laughs* Because, I'm pretty sure, that even if it is my own mind...I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! ...Yeah. But, it gives me a good chance to play around with the Vortians, you know, adding to the very VAGUE concepts that we already have about their race! *Laughs evilly* I SHALL MOLD THEM TO MY LIKING! Er-! *Looks around* Nevermind~!... *Whistles nonchalantly.*

I'll write more about the made-up characters in the next chapter's notes!

And, THE GOONIES REFERENCES WILL NEVER EEENNNDDD! *Laughs evilly* MWA HA HA HA HAAAAAAA! (Okay, no, seriously! I just love making those little "Goonies" references~!)