Break The Fourth Wall!


A/N: This story wasn't made to insult anyone and let this be a warning, if you take things seriously easily then stop reading now because this is a crackfic and taking it seriously may hurt yourself. And this story may parody of the Lisanna comes back from Edolas and Lucy is called weak type of stories. I only did this because I sort of found the number of these type of fics are turning a little silly. But I really like them because all of them have a unique turn once Lucy is kicked out. I really love the amazing things authors write about how Lucy retaliates in her own way.

Warning: Some language. OOC. Ranting. Randomness. Random disclaimer that I don't own Fairy Tail and probably never will. Random Claimer that I do own this plot. Sorry, I wanted to squeeze the disclaimers and claimers into the warnings.


"How the Hell does this kind of thing even happen?" Natsu Dragneel asked himself with an angry intonation. Despite the anger boiling inside of him, he still persistently continued to observe his guild mates. They all made a circle around a certain take over mage with the name Lisanna. She was like some sort of celebrity surrounded by her fans and the paparazzi.

Many things were wrong here. First of all, Lisanna should be all over him. She was always described as the clingy dead girlfriend but now she was clingy of Lucy. Second of all, she wasn't supposed to be buddy-buddy with Lucy. They should fighting all over him. Face it, seventy percent of Fairy Tail's fanfiction make the two have kitty fights over Natsu. Then there was the fact that everyone was ignoring him. It's been a year, I'm drop dead serious, since Lisanna came back and Natsu was ignore. Then he stared up to the ceiling with a serious tone as he whispered "Has this story won the award for longest time everyone ignored someone because of Lisanna?"

Suddenly, all of the members of team Natsu with Lisanna were in front of him. They all looked guilty or worried. Lucy rubbed the tips of he blonde locks. Lisanna played with her fingers by pushing her right index finger with her left one. Gray looked away awkwardly. Erza coughed every second. Happy few from right to left with an indecisive look in both of his eyes.

"What do you guys want?" the fire dragon slayer gave an angry glare with the same irritated tone in his voice. But then it took him time to comprehend the situation. They all looked guilty and worried. He felt a smile beam onto his angry face "Are you guys gonna apologize for being such douchebags?"

"Hell no" it was a unison with no emotion. The smile turned back into a frown because everything was upside down. Sorry, I wanted it to be the time to rhyme.

"You should read more fanfiction" Lucy muttered "In this type of story, the apologizing part comes at the end or at the middle, but this isn't the part where we do that" and she used the 'as a matter of fact' tone that she always used when she would sass him.

He raised an eyebrow at the blonde and folded his arms. He put on a smug face "Then what do we do at this part, Mrs. Heartphilia"

"He really doesn't read that much fanfiction…" Gray sighed.

"What a loser" Erza joined Gray into a sigh.

"Just tell me…" Natsu's eyes twitched in irritation.

"Natsu," Lucy began "I always have to do this part in most fanfiction so I know it like the back of my hand, this is the part where we call you weak and kick you out of Team Natsu and replace you with Lisanna the plot twist is, she's replacing you as the main character. Oh, and for your information, we're still calling it Team Natsu"

"WHY!?"

"Uhm, because the fans like that name…"

"No, not that!" he yelled louder and louder in every word "Why the Hell would you kick me, the main freaking character and replace me with that character who was brought back to life just to appear every ten billion chapters. Is that what you call main character material!?"

He heard Gray whisper loudly to Erza "Wow, talk about OOC" and Erza even replied with a "I know right"

"Who the Hell is OOC here!? God, this entire story is OOC!" Natsu continued to rampage and scream loud enough for the entire Fiore to go deaf "And I'm not weak! God, Lucy is the weakest of us all. She only uses keys! KEYS! Even I have those!"

"N-Natsu…" she was close to tears "Why are you hurting me like this? Are you that dense of my feelings?"

"Of course not! I'm going to rant for all the main characters of Shonen manga and anime! We're not blind or stupid! The love interest is practically making out with the main character and he's just like 'Friends, friends, friends, with the power of friendship!' we have brains! I can totally see how Lucy blushes at every freaking compliment! I dare the fans to take a freaking drink every time Lucy gets mushy in front of me!"

He heard Gray whisper loudly to Erza "He's ranting like a Tumblr user" and Erza even replied with a "I know right"

"Hey Stripper! If you're going to whisper… hey wait that rhymed, I mean, If your going to whisper at least make sure I don't hear it!" Natsu still continued to rampage and yell. He was at the peak of anger and he just really wanted to punch an antagonist right now.

"Is this really your choice, young one? If so let me take out your guild mark" the master appear in front of his face like magic with a saddened face.

"What?" Natsu muttered.

"Oh, you're early master" said Lucy "We haven't even done the 'Natsu is heartbroken and wants to train' part yet. You can come after that"

He sighed "I'll be back to take off his mark in a minute!" he disappeared once again.

"WHAT!?" he yelled.

"I think we should do that part now, right Lu-chan?" Lisanna said, using Levy's nickname.

"I agree" Lucy said. Then she looked at Happy, Gray and Erza for approval to start and they all nodded. Natsu just stared with anger and continued to yell protests. And it annoyed him more that they were all just smiling like this was something casual.

"I will never do that!"

"You have to, Flame Brain" Gray's face suddenly turned dark "Or he'll come"

"He? I don't care whoever comes"

Then the floor under them began to shake. The sound of thunder came crashing down and it was followed by strong rain. It was a typhoon and an earthquake at the same time.

"Oh god, he's coming!" yelled Lisanna as the roof began to break.

A cloud crashed down to the guild. A giant man sat on it with his legs crossed. He was surrounded by several women in bikinis and their boobs were bigger than their heads. Other than the beautiful women, he was surrounded by billions of yen. And the thing that scared people across the universe… his face. His face was a smirk like no other and eyes that could kill, his face was called…

…the troll face.

Everyone in the guild suddenly stopped what they were doing and looked at the god-like figure.

"Oh my God" Mira exclaimed.

"H-He's really here" said Gray his echoed throughout the guild.

"No way" Lisanna said. She began to silently sob and cover her mouth with disbelief. This earned a hug from both her elder sister and brother. They both pat her head in attempt to comfort but they too were horrified and were shaking at the sight.

"It's… It's…." Erza stammered in fear.

Lucy finished for her "It's… Hiro Mashima" her voice wavered as she was also terrified at one of the strongest Japanese men in all of AniManga.

Even Natsu was scared of him. He shivered violently as the cloud slowly drifted towards him. The man's face stayed the same and that was what scared him the most. He bit his lip and clenched his fists to try and muster all of his courage but he needed more than willpower against this man.

"KNEEL DOWN TO ME!" without any other words, every single person inside the guild fell to their knees with fear inside of all of them.

"Natsu" he said.

"Y-Yes, sir!"

"Whether you like it or not, you're going to quit the guild and train to become stronger" Hiro Mashima said. His deep voice sent shivers down Natsu's spine but he quickly stood up and yelled, which took a hell lot of courage "No! I do what I want"

"Is that so?" Mashima questioned.

"Yes"

"Then we'll have to do this… the hard way" Hiro Mashima snapped and a notebook and a pen appeared on his grasp. He then positioned to write something "Do you know what this is?"

"No…"

"It's my idea book"

'So?"

Suddenly he smirked wider and wider. His voice changed from deep and husky to a demonic voice as if he was some sort of antagonist "If you don't do as I say, I will never make NaLu canon" the final words echoed all over the world.

Gasps and sobs were heard around the guild. Mira fell flat on her bottom and sobbed uncontrollably. Elfman tried to keep his manliness but ended up followed the doings of his sister. Levy and Gajeel held each other between this war. Natsu just clenched his fists and cleared his thought. Lucy held onto his left arm and Lisanna held onto his right, they both sobbed and used his arms as their tissue.

"Why… you…" Natsu gritted his teeth.

Mashima's smirk was the widest every to be seen. He whispered the words but they were still loud enough…

"U Mad bro?"

Then Mashima continued to explain "If NaLu doesn't become canon because of you… Hm… how would fangirls react to that? I bet you would get a knock of your door and instantly get murdered by a horde of NaLu fans. And do you hear the crying fangirls? The ranting Tumblr users? Or maybe the fangirls shooting themselves? It will be like the Neji fans after he dies in chapter 614"

"Dude!" Jet yelled "Spoiler much!?"

"Yeah, I'm only at like… chapter five" Droy joined

"SILENCE PUNY, FOOLISH MINOR CHARACTERS!"

"Sorry sir!"

"I-I" Natsu stammered.

"Natsu!" Lucy yelled, holding onto him stronger "Please, I'm begging you! Do what's right for all of us!" she choked on her sobs and Lisanna joined her.

"Oh, I have an even better idea." Mashima mused "I'll make sure that the ending of Fairy Tail is seven-year-old Natsu waking up from a dream…"


I softly whisper to all of my reader's ears "I'm sorry, I was bored and if I spoiled Neji then… U MAD BRO!? no just kidding, sorry about that too. I don't even think I want to finish this anymore orz do you know that orz looks really cool in italics, like wow. You know, I'm going to ask you to review but since I'm going to ask you to review, I'm going to ask you to review, so please review. Even if it's hate because the more you hate the more you hate. I think I talked too much. You win an award if you read all of that. That award is my kiss. You still want it?" then I slowly place my lips on yours "I'm so sorry… I'm like the worst author ever OTL . Wow OTL looks cool too I mean look-

No italics – orz, OTL
Yes italics – orz, OTL