A/N: This is the first time I've ever written anything for the Castle fandom, but I couldn't let this opportunity pass me by. I still, 5 days later, have no words for what that finale did to me and I'm so nervous and excited for where we will get to go with it next season. And because of that I just had to throw my two cents in. And well, this is what happened. (Oh, and I didn't have a beta for this, so if you see any mistakes, misspellings, etc…let me know and I'll get them changed.)
Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or any of its characters. I write purely because I love to.
ooo
The uniform sound of the drums kept Richard Castle's feet moving stoically. The pained movements of a pallbearer moved through him as he walked with Ryan, Esposito, and Beckett and other members of the 12th and carried the coffin to its final resting place. The sun shone bright as the large gathering waited for Beckett to take her place at the podium.
Rick couldn't look at Mrs. Montgomery or her daughters so instead of taking his seat next to Alexis and Martha he stood off to the side, only feet away from Kate. Her words and her voice moved over him but he couldn't have retold her speech to anyone who asked. It wasn't like him to be like this, barely holding it together, but the man that lay in the coffin not far from him had been a friend. Even after the sting of his betrayal had hit, Castle couldn't help but thank him for doing everything in his power to keep Kate safe, even when that meant laying down his life.
"And if you're very lucky, you find someone willing to stand with you."
His heart hammered when her head turned to look at him, the pause in her speech evident. He held her gaze until she lowered her eyes and returned to her speech and he gazed out into the cemetery. The light reflection in the distance caught him off guard and he felt his stomach drop. Something wasn't right and he could feel it.
He glanced back over to Kate and then back to where the light reflection had surfaced and then the shot rang out as he ran towards her and knocked her to the ground. He hadn't been fast enough though he knew that instantly. Her face contorted in pain and her pristine white gloves where now covered with blood. Her blood.
He heard the crowd behind him as screams ran out and shouts to get down answered, but he kept his eyes only on Kate. Cradling her head in his hand he whispered, "Kate, shh, Kate. Stay with me Kate. Don't leave me, please. Stay with me."
She wasn't talking and Rick continued to hold her. His thoughts rushed back to the conversation he had with his mother only days before and knew that he could easily be running out of time. So, baring his soul, praying she could still hear and understand him he whispered, "Kate, I love you. I love you Kate."
He didn't try to stop the tears that flowed as her body went limp and her eyes closed and when he noticed there was another set of hands pressing down on Kate's wound he looked up in surprise to see Lanie next to him.
"We have to keep pressure on it;" she said quietly, "the bus is on its way."
"I can't lose her Lanie," Rick pleaded, "I can't."
"You're not going to," Lanie insisted, "not if I have anything to do about it."
The sounds of the sirens echoed in the near distance and there were more shouts as Ryan and Esposito directed the paramedics to them. Rick was pushed out of the way and he moved on shaky legs past the immediate group around her.
There were quickly people next to him and he frowned as his mother and Alexis moved to his side. He turned to both of them, "what are you still doing here? Go home. Now."
"No," Alexis started, "we're going to the hospital with you."
"No."
"Richard…" Martha started grasping on to his arm, "we're just as worried…"
"It's not safe and I don't want either of you to be in harm's way. Go home. I'll call you when I have information on her and when it's safe for you to visit."
"Richard."
He turned to his mother, his eyes as stern as his voice, "this is not up for discussion. Go. Now."
"Okay," Martha answered quietly glancing over at the paramedics as they strapped Kate to a board for transit. "Okay. Come on Alexis."
"But…" the teenager started to protest but a firm look from Martha, a look that went un-noticed by Rick, silenced her. "Call soon dad, please?"
Rick responded with a half nod, his eyes glued to his partner and her still limp body. When the paramedics began to lift her into the bus he took a definitive step forward.
"I'm riding along."
The two guys looked him over and with only a second's hesitation nodded. The paramedic closest to him motioned him forward with a clipped, "okay."
"We'll meet you there," a voice said behind him and he turned as he reached the ambulance to see Lanie, Esposito, and Ryan standing there. Lanie continued, "We're right behind you."
Rick nodded and as soon as the door was shut behind him the ambulance took off, sirens blaring, through the normally quiet area. He stayed in his seat like he had been informed; his fingers interweaved with hers, tears still streaming down his face as he prayed silently to any higher power listening to spare her life.
The voices of the paramedics floated around him in a hurried fog, only bits and pieces of their conversation really staying with him.
"She's losing a lot of blood."
"Heartbeat is erratic and breaths labored."
"I'm starting a transfusion; we have to get more blood in her now."
Rick pressed his lips against her wrist as he watched her face for any sign that she knew he was there or could sense her presence. He kept his lips pressed against her cool skin as he continued begged her to stay with him.
When they arrived at the hospital he was pushed out of the way and told to wait in the lobby until they could get her into surgery. He argued with the nurse at the desk until he was screaming at her and then suddenly he was being pulled away and was forced down into a hard plastic chair.
"Get a hold of yourself man," Esposito's voice demanded and Rick took several deep breaths to calm himself. "Better. Lanie is talking to the nurse, we'll find out what is happening."
"She can't die," Rick muttered, "she can't."
"I know man," Esposito responded calmly, "I know."
The minutes dragged by in an agonizingly slow pace and Rick kept his eyes fixed on a gray spot on the linoleum floor beneath him. He knew that Lanie had come back over and was now sitting next to Esposito, tears streaming silently down her face, while Esposito held her close. Ryan was on the opposite corner, his phone pressed to his ear with who Castle could only assume was Jenny and Castle for the first time noticed Jim Beckett in the chair directly across from him. He let his eyes meet the older man's who only shrugged before turning his attention back to his clasped hands.
"Rick?"
The voice that called his name was only vaguely familiar and as he raised his head he couldn't help but grimace. Because standing not more than twenty feet from him was Dr. Motorcycle Boy looking ridiculously dashing in his hospital scrubs.
"Josh."
"What are you doing here?" he asked looking around, "and where is Kate?"
Castle opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. He was thankful when Lanie stepped in for him.
"Surgery," she said quietly, "she was shot today."
"What? I thought she said she was going to a funeral."
"She did…" Lanie started, "someone shot her while she was presenting her eulogy speech. We're waiting here until she's done in surgery."
"Do you know where she was shot?"
Castle's voice returned just long enough to answer the cardiac surgeon's question, "chest."
Josh nodded, "I'll see if I can find anything out. Do you want a more private waiting area?"
"We're fine," Lanie answered, "we want to make sure they can find us when it's time."
"Of course," Josh responded, "I'll be right back."
The room returned to silence after Josh exited and Jim Beckett looked around questioningly. "Who was that?"
"Kate's boyfriend," Castle answered, the tone in his voice more severe than he realized.
"She hasn't mentioned him," Jim responded as much for Castle as for himself.
"I need to take a walk." Castle stood up suddenly, his announcement surprising everyone around him. "Text me if we hear anything."
"Yo man," Esposito called as Castle started to walk away, "you sure man?"
"I won't leave the hospital," Castle assured them all, "I just can't sit around here and wait. No matter what her condition."
"She'll want to see you."
"I'll come back then."
"Castle…"
"Just let me go," Castle begged them, "I need to not…I need to not be here right now, okay?"
It was Lanie who stood up next, "I get it Castle. Go ahead. I'll text you the minute we hear something."
"Thanks Lanie," Castle murmured and with that he headed down the hall and away from the stark waiting room.
He wandered around the halls aimlessly until he found himself standing in front of two large wood doors. The small plaque to the side had one simple word etched in it and he grabbed the handle and pulled the door open.
The room was quiet and dark, the glow of candles dancing off the wall in the front of the small room. Rick had never considered himself religious, but he took comfort in the peacefulness this room provided and tried let the tension leave his body.
Lowering himself down into a spot in the back of the room he rested his arms on his legs and let his head rest against his clenched fists. Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes tight and sat there in silence. No matter how badly he wanted to erase the memories of the last hour from his head it continued to play on a loop through his mind. He looked down at his hands, still red in places from her blood and he nearly vomited. Grabbing and untucking the tail of his shirt he dry scrubbed his hands clean. Several minutes passed before he realized he had tears falling down his face.
It had felt like hours passing but when his phone vibrated to alert him of a text he realized in reality he had only been gone for about thirty minutes.
You should come back, Josh has news.
The simple text from Lanie had his heart again in knots as he stood up. The room, still empty, glowed and Rick couldn't stop himself from whispering before he exited. "Please let her be alright. Please."
ooo
A/N: So, obviously I have plans to continue this. But only if ya'll think it's worth it. Please let me know what you think about the start. I'll be forever in your debt.
