"And this is where I stop listening."

"Come on Remus, this is the best part!"

"Yeah, listen to Sirius, Moony. He's right, this is the best part!"

"Where's Peter gotten to?" Remus looked around himself as James rolled his eyes.

The Marauders, well, the Marauder minus one, were sitting in their dorm late on Christmas Eve. James noted that the whole castle smelled like the holidays but that their dorm smelled closer to his quidditch locker. Grabbing some pepper imps from his pocket, he threw them around the room and hoped the peppermint smell would fix the stench.

"Peter is getting us biscuits, remember?" He said slightly miffed, falling back on his bed and staring up at the ceiling where Sirius had stuck a poster. Smiling up at the girl waving at him, he sat back up again and saw Peter coming back in.

"See, still alive!" Sirius gestured towards the other Marauder. "Now, back to this plan. There are only two Slytherin's still here over the holidays. That means, the night before they come back, we put the plan in motion."

"I will never be part of these plans!" Remus complained, getting up and stripping off his shirt. "I get too nervous and start freaking out. I don't know why you can't grasp that fact after six years."

"Because you're a fucking werewolf…grow some wolf balls!" Sirius shouted, his face full of mirth as he grabbed his tie from the side table and wrapped it around his head.

"I think someone has drunk too much firewhiskey," James noted, grabbing the bottle off his best mate's bed and throwing it over to Peter.

"And I haven't had enough?" Peter asked slightly off balance. "I dropped three biscuits and puked on the fourth floor. I am never drinking this again."

"I am friends with a bunch of twats! James, you are with me in this plan of genius, right?"

"Yeah, whatever you say Padfoot." He placated him, knowing he wouldn't remember in the morning. "And you forgot the milk Wormtail. How are we supposed to eat Christmas biscuits without milk?"

"I told you I drank too much. I grabbed this bottle of mustard!"

"Delicious. Anyway, you three try not to puke on my bed and I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Can you grab some of the chocolate cake while you're there too?" Remus asked with a quick smile, rubbing at the scars on his chest.

"Sure, just for you Moony."

Walking down the stairs, he ran a hand through his hair and messed it up even more than usual. It felt good when he did that, like it was an assurance that it was still here. Not that he'd be going bald anytime soon, but it was always something he could count on. And it drove the ladies crazy.

"Not all of them." He said to himself, noting that there was a redheaded girl up in the opposite dorm hating on him at this precise moment.

Though, he was wrong, and found her outside of the portrait when he went through it.

"Where are you going?"

"It's not even curfew Evans, I can go where I please."

"No…I know that. But Mary is having one of her crying fits over that stupid Ravenclaw and I cannot stand being with her right now. I'm coming with you."

"What if I don't want you to come with me?" He smirked as he began to lead her down the hallway. "Then what?"

"I'll just be an utter annoyance and follow you around like you always do to me. It's not like I'd rather be with you Potter, you just happened to be the one that walked out of the portrait."

"Well, Moony's half naked if you'd like him to come join you."

"As tempting as that seems," she laughed a little, blush filling her cheeks. "I'll deal with you."

"How nice of you."

"I try my best."

He smirked, fingering the snitch in his pocket out of nerves."So, our adventure tonight is taking us down many scary deserted hallways and past moving staircases until we come to the mouth of the Hufflepuff common room."

"Oh Merlin, you're not about to do a prank are you?"

"What if I am?"

"Then I will walk right back to the common room and leave you on your own."

"Well, I'm just going to the kitchens Evans, no need to run and hide."

She side-eyed him as they got to the staircases. "And how do you know how to get into the kitchens?"

"I'm a man of many skills."

"Man of many detentions."

"That too."

"I don't understand you."

"What do you mean?" He was curious as she looked at him, her head shaking.

"Do you like detentions?"

"Actually, I do. They're quiet, the teachers always tell me how awesome I am, and McGonagall licks my shoes."

"What the hell are you talking about? That doesn't happen!"

"How do you know? You've never been in a detention before."

"I highly doubt McGonagall would ever lick someone's shoes."

"You obviously don't know Minnie."

She gasped slightly. "Did you just call Professor McGonagall – Minnie?"

"She likes me to call her that when we're in bed."

"Oh – my – God."

"Yes?"

"Don't think so highly of yourself Potter."

"Well…Minnie also calls me God in bed."

"Stop it, stop it, stop it."

"Jealous Evans? Sad you've never seen me as naked as my dear Minnie has?" He could barely control the laughter threatening to fall from his lips as she looked at him with terror in her eyes.

"I hope to all things holy that I never see you naked."

"That's a lie."

"Oh no, I promise it's the truth."

"You want to see what's under these clothes. You're dying to know if quidditch has done my body good." Which he knew it hadn't, sure he wasn't fat but there wasn't some sexy body hidden under his clothes. Just another pasty British boy.

"I will literally take my wand and jab my own eyes out if I have to ever see you naked."

"I think you'll like it."

"I think I'd rather see Slughorn naked."

"Oh Merlin's pants Evans, that's disgusting. I'm honestly hurt that you'd rather see that old fat man naked before me. I'm not that bad."

"Okay, maybe that was a lie, but it doesn't make me want to see you naked either."

"Oh, we'll make a baby someday, and you'll yell out my name just as loudly as Min—"

"If you finish that sentence I will not only throw up on your shoes, I'll punch you in the nose."

He laughed, both of them finally making it to the kitchens. "Minnie will always hold a place in my heart, but you were first."

"I honestly wish a half naked Remus had walked out of that portrait now."

He smiled at her widely, running a hand through his hair again. As they walked into the kitchens, the house elves ran around getting everything he needed and Lily waited to the side. As soon as he had two large bottles of milk and half a chocolate cake, he and Lily began the long walk back.

"I'll make sure to tell Remus you missed him."

"I don't know why he hangs out with you lot."

"Because he's a chap with taste."

"Whatever you say Potter. So...why aren't you home this year?" He could tell she was trying to get on a subject she could actually stand and he just shrugged his shoulders.

"Felt like having this one with the boys. Simple as that. You?"

"Sister's fiancé is over and they both hate me."

"Oh, Evans drama. That has to be fun."

"She's almost as bad as you anymore."

"I still win the honored title though?"

"Oh yes, you will always be my least favorite person in the world."

He laughed, making her jump slightly as they walked up the stairs. "Okay, I beat Voldemort?"

"I thought we weren't supposed to say his name."

"Fuck that."

"James!"

"What? Fuck Voldemort. Fuck him for thinking he's badass enough to be called You-Know-Who." He cursed the Dark Lord, hating all he's been doing to the Wizarding World and for putting Lily in any kind of danger. He hated the bastard more than anything and if he could, he'd stop him someday. "He's a tyrant Lily, why not say fuck him?"

"Because…you don't know who could hear you."

"Fuck them too!" He shouted loud in the hallway, Lily clasping her hand over his mouth and pushing him against a wall.

"Please, don't. I don't want you getting yourself hurt over something so stupid."

"I didn't know you cared so much."

"I'm serious James."

"No, you're Lily."

"Shut it for a second. I know you think you're a big brave Gryffindor who can take on the world but you've got to keep your head. No matter how large it is."

"You don't want me to die? I'm touched."

"Of course I don't want you to die." She sounded flustered, her body still close to his and he reveled in the feel. "I may hate you Potter, but I don't want you dead."

"You're making this too easy."

"Making what too easy? What are you talking about now?"

"Fancying you. You make it too easy. If you'd like to make it harder I'd grow a few warts and jump in a pool of beets. I hate beets."

She laughed, walking back to the portrait before turning back to him and smiled. "I really can't stand you."

"I'll wait. Someday you'll be able to stand me and then we'll make that baby."

"I won't hold my breath."

"That's good….once Minnie held her breath and –"

"SHUT UP."

"Love you too."

And with that, he went back up to his dorm, passed out milk and cake, and started thinking that the nightmares of shagging McGonagall were not going to be fun.