I do not own these characters
Never go near bella when you haven't hunted in a while
Don't call jasper emo
Never call Edward "Eddie"
Rosalie is not vain she just owns a lot of mirrors
Esme can kick your ass
Carlisle is not a god he is the god
Alice is not short only fun sized
Do not prank call the volturi
Or provoke them
In the first place why would you do that
