Hey guys! I needed a break from that other story and decided to tackle a first person narrative that fell more into sync with the series than my other project.
First and foremost, although this follows many of the season's attributes it is still my own universe of One Tree Hill that will reveal itself the more I go on. Rated M for later, you Brucas smut lovers. ;)
Chapter One - Solitude
Octavio Paz once wrote, "Solitude is the profoundest fact of the human condition. Man is the only being who knows he is alone."
And for me, I was acutely aware of the solitude that swallowed me whole this year. Laying across my half-made bed on a Saturday afternoon was a direct evidence of this. A lot of things changed for me since the beginning of my third year at Tree Hill High. Flashback to last September and you would probably see me sitting across from Haley James at the picnic table of the river court, bantering about whatever topic we stumbled upon that day. And November, you would see me locking lips with a curly-haired blonde girl in her dimly lit, artistic bedroom. But with the seasons, everything shifted.
At this moment in time, I was facing two routes for my day. Holed up in my room, writing another sad chapter into my slow-working novel or busing tables for my mom at the café. It's not that I was friendless, because I'm not. In fact, this year was the first that I wandered the halls and was actually noticed beyond the occasional snide remark from my previous enemy and half-brother, Nathan. But now, we stood neutral ground after a few fist fights and harsh words.
Haley, however, found herself on quite different grounds with my brother. In the beginning, he had chased her out of spite towards me. It was a game. And somewhere along the lines, the rules of his game became clouded and Haley allowed it. My best friend was dating Nathan Scott and I would be lying if I said at first I didn't doubt it heavily. But I trust her and if she believes him, then who am I to say otherwise? I couldn't help but wish that their honeymoon phase of budding love would leave a little room for some good old best friend time, but this did not seem to be the case.
I sat up, defeated at the outcome of the day and decided that if I was going to be alone that I might as well be alone with a basketball. It would serve me best anyways, considering there was a pretty important game this Monday and it was rumored that scouts may be in the crowd. So with that, I plug my headphones in and make my way over to the River Court.
The sun was bright today in Tree Hill, and the River Court was empty. Skillz didn't frequent as much anymore after making the Ravens, which meant that Junk and Fergie found a new after school hobby as well. I raised the volume of the Nada Surf that was beating heavily in my ears and began sinking shots. It felt good to accompany myself with lonely lyrics and the steady rhythm of the ball against the concrete.
Adrenaline pounded through my veins as I began to break a sweat. I didn't even hear her approach until she was practically right behind me.
"I knew I would find you here." Her raspy voice broke through my music and I turned to face the sassy brunette that stood cross-armed with a kinked eyebrow. I felt short of breath for a moment for the first time since I reached the court as her dimpled smile greeted me.
"Brooke, what are you doing here?" I questioned as I pulled the headphones from my ear.
"Well, I actually was hoping to come here and brood for awhile but it looks like somebody beat me to it." She winked at me and I let out a laugh that was huskier than I expected. Brooke Davis always had a way of inhaling the life back into me, even if she wasn't aware of it.
"Very funny. What actually brings you to a basketball court on one of the few days you don't have to be?" She put her hands on her hips the way she always did when she was about to announce something she deemed important.
"Two things. First off, have you heard from Tutor Girl? Second, there's a party tonight at my house and you are coming."
"I imagine you can find her within 10 feet of wherever Nathan is." It came out more bitter than I intended so I decided to direct the attention to the second part. "What's the occasion?"
"The occasion is I need her help."
"So you're throwing a party about it?" I feigned confusion, knowing what she actually meant. I liked stirring Brooke up though, she was fun to tease.
"Oh! Right." She exhaled and flashed me a sheepish smile. "We're partying because I figured this weekend was the last opportunity we had to really go out before the season gets more serious. And also because I want to get drunk."
"Ah, I see." I nodded my head slowly as if coming to a realization that was seemingly obvious to Brooke.
"So you're coming right? And by the way, you're probably the only one I know who asks why there's a party." Brooke was right, I had a problem with looking too far into the reason of why for… well, just about anything actually. But I'm an aspiring writer, and frankly that is my curse. I looked back at the brunette who was looking at me questioningly as she waited for confirmation.
I wasn't sure I actually wanted to go to a party. Let alone a Brooke Davis one. Peyton was undoubtedly going to be there, which meant we had to do the awkward "what was" dance for the evening and even though it was getting better, it was still pretty exhausting. Equally, seeing Haley hang all over Nathan wasn't something I was accustomed to yet. Actually, the only perk of the party was Brooke.
"Uh… I guess I could…" I didn't even get the sentence out before she cut in.
"Great, I'll see you at ten. And can you pick up some red cups on your way over?" I could tell the question was rhetorical so I nodded in compliance. "Later, Broody!" As quickly as she appeared, she was gone. I watched her baby blue Volkswagen speed away from the court and I was left standing at the center alone once again.
Despite all the negative aspects of showing up to a party, the single perk outweighed them. And as much as I was getting used to the company of my well-worn Steinbeck book, a little socialization would be a nice change of pace. So come ten o'clock, I find myself knocking on a red door with matching party cups in the other hand.
After a brief pause, it flung open and revealed a slightly glazed pair of hazel eyes. Brooke looked dressed up, and for a moment I doubted my choice on jeans and a t-shirt when I remembered who I was dealing with. She always looked for an excuse to dress her best and tonight was no exception as she stood before me in a black dress that revealed her distracting cleavage and framed her curved frame.
Brooke was beautiful and even though I had never admitted that to her, I have been pining after her since my freshman year of high school when she asked to borrow a pen in our English class. One which I never actually saw again.
"Luuuuuuuucas!" She extended my name and the cheer in her voice perked me up instantly. She grabbed my arm and pulled me inside of the house that was beating heavily with the bass of some Top 40 song. Even though I had arrived on time, her house was already pretty packed. "Yay, more cups!" With one swift movement the cups were gone from my hand and was replaced with a single one, full of a sweet smelling liquid. "Drink." She commanded and I thanked her as I brought it to my lips.
It tasted vaguely of coke and some sort of clear alcohol. I wasn't sure of what, because this drinking scene was actually relatively new to me. Brooke was gone in a flash and I was left with the company of my beverage. I looked over to the room that connected with her front entrance and saw Peyton, who was lining up the next song and decided to make a beeline for the kitchen.
"Lucas!" I recognized the voice instantly and turned to face my best friend. She pulled me into a hug and it felt good to see her. She was shadowed by Nathan, who I nodded at respectively. "Brooke said you were coming tonight, but honestly I didn't believe her."
"Yeah, well…" I couldn't think of a reason that wouldn't reveal my best kept secret so I decided to take another swig of my drink instead.
"That's a good reason," she laughed skeptically and when I didn't recover it, she continued "This is perfect because Nathan was just talking about starting up a game of I've Never." I cringed at the thought. The last time Nathan decided to play this it ended in some pretty low blows at my expense. But I promised Haley to give him a chance so I bit my tongue and smiled instead.
"Sounds good, where at?"
"Perfect!" She clapped her hands together excitedly and led us over to a table that was already crowded with most of the guys from my basketball team. I exchanged hellos and obligatory high fives with most of them and joined their circle.
"Woo! I love this game!" I turned and saw Brooke approach us with a trail of eager boys behind was another reason why whatever it is that I feel for her remains dormant. She had guys practically falling to her feet and although I have had glimpses of desperation in the 17 years of my life, that is one thing I was not willing to stoop to. So instead, I take a route rarely traveled by few males in Brooke's life. Friendship.
"Great, now that you're here we can start." Nathan said, as he pushed his way forward to the table edge. "I'll go first." I held an anticipatory breath, still feeling guarded about this familiar situation. "I've never been very good at math."
Most of the table booed at the weak confession but Haley fashioned a smile that was nothing shy of smitten as she brought the cup to her lips along with only a few others. I decided adequacy probably triumphed whatever level of math he was referring to, so I joined them as well.
"My turn!" Tim's voice was followed with indiscrete groan from most of the girls. "I've never flashed my boobies at a party!"
"You don't even have anything to flash, Tim." Nathan said sternly at him but he just held his perverted grin. To my right, Brooke took a dramatic gulp of her drink and flashed a dimpled smile at the group and others around the table drank as well.
"Let's make it round two, ladies!" Tim blurted and Nathan reached around and slapped him on the back of the head. "Owww!" He whines and we can't help but laugh in his expense.
"Gross, Tim." Brooke curled her lips up in disgust and I couldn't blame her. "My turn. I've never…" She paused and smirked suggestively "Oh wait, I've done that…" She placed a single finger to her lips as she thought of something that could count. "Okay, I've never…" her eyes lit up as she stumbled upon a good one "captured one of the Scott boys as my own." At the end of her statement she cocked her head in Haley's direction again and she proudly took a drink.
I couldn't help but slyly avert my eyes in Brooke's direction and wonder what sort of connotation was attached to Scott boys That and the fact that I would very much like to delete yet another "I've never" from her limited list. Just as I was about to turn back to face the group, her hazel orbs caught mine and lingered there for a moment as she smiled. It was a different smile than her previous boastful one she was sporting and I tried to read the undertone of its warmth. But it was gone quickly as Theresa burst in with her questionable statement.
The game was short lived as the booze settled and bodies drunkenly dispersed into separate directions. I leaned against the counter, resting my palms against the cool ceramic tiling and watched the party unfold. I had a good buzz coursing through my system and it let take over me.
"Hey, you." I forced myself to turn in direction of Peyton as she approached. This was inevitable but I still wasn't thrilled about it.
"Hey." As much as I wanted to leave it at that, I still possessed enough decency to carry the conversation. "How's your night going?"
"Good." She nodded slowly, feeling out the waters. "How are you?" I could hear the nerves in her voice but wrote it off. I may bare a conversation with her but she didn't deserve much of my sympathy. This was not to be mistaken with lingering feelings, because that was definitely not that case.
The only thing that really drove me from not wanting this conversation with my ex-girlfriend was the fact that it seemed pretty pointless. I know she was trying to piece together a friendship she claims we once had, but we both knew that it was only attraction and convenience. We dated for three months and in that time, I got to know her as much well enough to understand that we had a lot in common. And among those were two predominant factors. The first being that it seemed to be unavoidable, tortured artist meets tortured writer. The other being that we were two lonely people who decided to be lonely together.
"I'm good. How's Jake?" I made sure to ask in a way that didn't cause her to read into it too much. The last thing I wanted was for her to think that there was a shred of jealousy in my body. If anything, I was grateful for their link-up. It kept her busy and helped tied up the loose ends of our relationship really quickly.
"He's great, actually. He was going to come to night but he had to call it an early night." I nodded, not really sure what else to say and she let out an awkward laugh. "Well, I better get back to the music. But it's good to see you, Lucas."
"You too, Peyt." I smiled at her and with that she was gone. I slacked my shoulders again, relaxing. That actually hadn't been as painful as I thought it was going to be, considering that was the longest we've talked in the last few weeks.
I made my way into the living room, deciding I didn't need to avoid it any longer. It was crowded, with masses of bodies gyrating against others to the music. I noticed Brooke drunkenly flirting with Felix and swallowed hard before looking away.
The night took a turn for the worse as more and more began to reach their bodies limit. If they weren't puking or making mistakes with someone upstairs then they were slouched around on the verge of dreamless sleep. Haley and Nathan left a while earlier and Brooke was nowhere in sight.
I was still a little too buzzed to drive so instead I made my way into a back room to have a seat and wait for the alcohol to leave my system. I took a seat in a love seat beside a fireplace with an empty mantel. Resting my head in my hands, I let the music sway me. It wasn't until I was interrupted by a crash behind me and a groan that followed did I lift my head.
I turned behind me and caught a glimpse of the very drunken brunette girl that was sitting on the floor beside a pile of books that she had knocked over from a shelf.
"Brooke?" She mumbled something back that was inaudible so I got up and made my way over to her. She slurred out my name and I looked down at her. "Do you need help up?"
"No, no…I like it down here." There was a small hint of vulnerability in her voice, something that was remarkably uncharacteristic of the confident girl he knew well. Instead of insisting, I kneeled down to her eye level and caught her distanced gaze.
"You probably should get some rest, Brooke." She unfixed her eyes from me and instead stared at something behind me. "Hey, let me help you to your room." I spoke louder, hoping that it would bring her back from wherever her mind was.
"Mm."
"Come on." I reached my arms around her small frame and hesitated to see if she responded. Instead of pulling away, she curled into me and I lifted her from the mess she sat within on the floor. We made our way up the stairs and the pace of my heartbeat had rapidly quickened at the warmth of her body against mine but I dismissed it.
As we reached the top of the stairs it occurred to me that I hadn't actually been to Brooke's room before. Fortunately, it wasn't heavily disguised. I pushed open the white door with the large, pink B hanging from it and revealed a room that was unmistakably hers.
Gently, I set her down on her bed and she sank into mattress with her eyes closed shut. The bubbly girl looked so small and I couldn't help but wonder if it was strictly that alcohol that made her seem this way. Pulling the covers out from underneath her, I replaced them over her bare shoulders. I turned to the door to leave when she spoke.
"Luke?" She blinked open her eyes lazily and I stopped.
"Yeah?" I studied her face, waiting to hear some sort of a request for water or perhaps even a bucket. But instead she mumbled something that stopped my heart in its tracks.
"Please. Don't go…"
