Autophobia- Fear of being of one self

I woke up with the sun shining vibrantly into my eyes. I was soon distracted by Alfred's almost snoring sound he was making, it seemed more like heavy breathing really. His throat might be a bit course from crying so much, he was also still holding me against his chest. He was sleeping softly in complete contrast with his character. He's always been a kid with the loudest laughter while his brother Matthew was exact opposite. Even the way they found out and got diagnosed were opposites. Alfred was always so happy, so he covered up his pain with that brightening dishonest smile. Matthew never said anything, he never wanted to be a burden, so he kept his solitude until broken.

They may seem strong on the outside but they're as fragile as glass. Something they get from they're mother, what a woman she is. She has always tried to be strong, but seeing not one but all her children in their last months isn't easy. She even cared for Peter, even though he isn't her son.

Peter is Matthew and Alfred's Half brother as they're related through Dr. Kirkland. I've only ever heard vague stories of what happened but I heard one story that made sense. Dr. Kirkland got drunk after a bad fight with Ms. Bonnefoy and he had a one-night stand with some woman. She gave birth to Peter, left him on Dr. Kirkland's doorstep, and Ms. Bonnefoy hasn't found it in her to forgive him-which I understand.

They got a divorce, but Alfred and Matthew never hated Peter for it. They knew what happened as they were old enough to understand. When Peter first got diagnosed his family came often, that's when I met the twins.

I didn't meet them by being introduced, one day I was playing with Peter in my room and they showed up. We all became good friends because of Peter, which led to me getting to know what was going on in their family. Whenever they're parents got into a fight they would hang out with me as I showed them the hospital. Peter would usually be asleep, so it would be the twins with me most often. They helped me out a lot when I was told I didn't have long to live either.

Alfred made me happy when I was miserable and I could confide in Matthew. Alfred talked to me more often as Matthew has a more close relationship with his mother. I guess that's why Alfred and I are so close now, literally now.

"Tino, are you up?" Alfred was now up and shaking me out of my thoughts. "Ugh, I am now," I groaned out pulling my face up to where I could see him while still laying down. "Time to get up sleepy head," He playfully messed with my hair as I kept trying to slap his hand away to no avail. "But sleep is nice and it doesn't judge me," I sat up and face planted back into my pillow followed by an even louder groan. "What time is it anyway?" He looked toward the clock, "Um, about 8:30." I groaned again, "Then it's too early. It's a Saturday, and by the law of me: I shall never get up on Saturday before 10:00 a.m." Alfred went into a loud laughing fit, "Jeez and I thought I was lazy!" I sat up and crossed my arms, "Oh, fuck you too then." He messed with my hair again as I huffed and kept my arms closed. "You're so cute and innocent, reminds me of when I was little." "I'm older than you!" He crossed his arms and spoke smugly, "Yeah but only be a year, and I'm taller."

I'm at least 4 inches smaller than him, he's always called me smaller than him. It may have pissed me off, but I know he means it as humor. "Hey should we get breakfast?" Alfred asked as he got off the bed, "Sure, and I bet that Eli's there already." He went around the bed and stood in front of me, "Yeah she probably is, now let's go!" He picked me up, put me on his back, and started heading out the door. "Hey! Just because I'm small doesn't mean you get to pick carry me when you like!" I beat on his shoulders but he kept heading to the kitchen. Sure enough Eli was there, but she was talking to her "friend" Roderich. They were good friends when she was in school and now he came to visit her often, as she says.

"Hey love birds! What are you doing out here this early?!" I yelled out at them still on Alfreds back as he walked over to the counter. "Look at yourself Tino! Seems like you and Alfred got pretty close last night!" I may not be able to see his face, but I know Alfred's face is just as red as mine. "This morning I came to wake you up and saw you two in bed and left." She is going to hang this above my head until the end of her life.

I heard snickering after that, it's Matthew. "Mattie, I can hear you!" He kept giggling to himself as he came up to get food, "You guys are just so cute." I turned even more red. Alfred was still grabbing food for both of us when I got off his back and sat at a nearby table.

Alfred and Matthew were talking about something, but I just tuned them out. All I can think about is Peter right now. He probably isn't awake right now, but i still worry. He may not even wake up, he could die any day at this point. I'm just scared for what will happen to his family after that.