Disclaimer: Don't own Lucifer.
AN: Been watching the British Sit-com Miranda because Tom Ellis is in it, and this came to me after watching the second episode. If anyone wants to turn this idea into a larger story then feel free, but please message me about it first.
"So, how did they meet?"
Chloe shifted her glance from her computer screen to her partner, who was lounging back in his chair with paperwork on his lap. Untouched paperwork, she noted with a sigh. "Who?"
"Your parents, of course," Lucifer elaborated. "She was a famous actress while he was an everyday cop. I'd love to know the story behind it."
"It's actually really sweet," said Chloe with a smile. "Mom and Dad were really good friends back in high school; they were always there for each other. When Mom went through a bad break-up right before Graduation, Dad took her to Prom as a friend. That night they made a promise: if they were still unmarried when they were forty, they'd marry each other."
"Your mother was your father's Safety Wife?"
She was surprised he actually knew the term. "More like Dad was Mom's Safety Husband."
"So, what happened?" asked Lucifer. "Because your mother looks far too young to have had you at forty."
"They went to different colleges; Mom was accepted into acting school, while Dad joined the police academy," Chloe explained. "But they stayed in touch. Then, when they both graduated, they decided to go on a late Gap Year, touring the world. They fell in love, and Dad proposed when they were in Paris. I used to love hearing the story." Her smile faded. "I wish my marriage turned out better."
Lucifer's eyebrow rose. "Do you have one?"
"Have what?"
"A Safety Husband?" he asked. "Now that you're divorcing Detective Douche, you must be in the market for one."
Chloe bit her lip. On the one hand, she couldn't see herself ever getting married again after the disaster with Dan. But on the other, the thought of a future filled with lots of cats was terrifying. "No, I don't have one. Why, are you offering?"
"Of course I am!"
Why did I ask him that? "Seriously? You want a Safety Wife? You, of all people?"
"Well, I don't need one, Detective," he said. "I'm quite happy being a bachelor for the rest of eternity. But if you're scared of being alone for the rest of your life, then I'll be happy to marry you in order to ease that loneliness."
She was taken aback by his words. "Really? You'd…do that for me?"
"That's what friends are for, isn't it?" He smirked. "And it's for my benefit, too. That way I'll finally get to sleep with you."
Of course. She rolled her eyes. "Unless I find someone else before then."
"Where else are you going to find a single, handsome bachelor like myself who puts up with your boring personality, can tolerate your little Hell-spawn, and is fantastic in bed? In five years?"
"I'm setting the age to forty-five, so make that ten years."
"Still impossible. You may as well just marry me right now and get it over with." He wiggled his eyebrows seductively.
Chloe rolled her eyes again – while simultaneously trying to stop her cheeks from turning red. "You're impossible."
"Impossibly marriable, my little Safety Wife."
"Lucifer!"
